Yep, I’m in the office instead of playing with my kids! I am working on grad school work today. I will admit that it is all my fault… I’ve not managed my time wisely.
I have to get going on about 5 papers for my current class. Today’s goal is to knock off one of them. Here is what the docket looks like.
- 2 Reflection papers on a topic from A History of Christian Education and Church History in Plain Language. These are 2-3 pages each and take a couple of hours.
- An old fashioned book review of Churches Without Walls. (3-5 pages)
- A research paper on the topic of the formation of the Latter-Day Saints and it’s possible relationship with the Burned Over District of Northern New York. (15-20 pages)
- A final exam (6-10 pages)
Each time I sit down to do this work I am filled with the same overwhelming self-doubt. Not just doubt that I need to be in this seminary work, but also that I need to continue in student ministry at all. It’s my belief that Satan has a special ministry of discouragement for people in ministry… Like a side business… And I have always felt this way because I have almost always seen the manifestations of the enemy’s handiwork in my role. Right now I am so tired and so weary from these battles that I really do want to just chuck it away. In no way do I mean that I am about too… Just that I am absolutely overwhelmed and burdened by the urge and the idea of freedom from ministry.
In one breath I can’t see myself doing anything else with my life, in the next I feel like begging the role to be taken from me.
