The big idea
As I self-reflected a bit this morning, half-dreading my day and half-embracing the new challenge of it I began to think seriously about my “life strategy.”

I can’t lie. I think of myself and the ministry I lead in grandiose terms. Not in a bragging way or in a self-righteous/self-centered way… But I have always dreamed of running a ministry that is fantastic. Lives changed, new believers, waking up the sleeping ones, and reforming an old dusty church into one that not only believes in itself enough to think it can change their community… But actually gets out there and does it.

Ephesians 5:14b
Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.

I’ve always felt that way about this place. I see this church as a place that can and should wake up so Christ can shine on them in a new, fresh way. But as I reflected this morning I was stricken by their sleepiness. They simple are not awake!

The Question
As I get frustrated with their “ability to sleep through life” I am also stricken by the clock. Time is a wasting. How long do I have to expose the sleepy people to light before they will wake up? (Eph 5:14a) What if they are not sleeping, but dead?

Donald Trump leadership?
What this all boils down to is this. How long should I lead people who don’t want to wake up? If I were a business person and the culture of the company took this long to reform… I’d be an idiot not to move on. In fact, while everything “business-wise” about the company could not be more perfect… When the culture is this slow to adapt… It would be better and more “profitable” to simple start over. Bulldoze the existing culture and start over.

If I were in Donald Trump’s boardroom I wonder if he would look at me and say, “PA, you are loyal and I like that… But here you are, full of talent, been educated by the very best… Yet you chose to work for a loser? I don’t get it, I just don’t get it. You could go anywhere and do great things. You’re loyalty to the loser is unforgivable. Why are you there?” My answer is that I’ve sold myself out to making this loser into a winner. In the core of my being I see potential in this place. I can see what it can be… But at what cost? 5 years? 10 years? Is it worth my best years for a risk? This is what I am going through!

Old McDonald leadership?
The flip side of this is simple. A church is not a business. Jesus never referred to his disciples as managers and his disciples never referred to the early church as a business. In fact, it wasn’t until the mid-20th century that the church became overrun with business methodology. Before that… People like myself looked at their church like a flock or a crop. From that perspective I can look at this place and say “I’ve got good soil, good location, good fertilizer, and the right equipment. I can make these fields grow a harvest!” A farmer just taking over a old farm cannot expect a full harvest in his first years. An asparagus farmer knows that his fields are worthless for the harvest the first year or two. His crowns must grow in… in other words, to get a good harvest the farmer must be patient enough to know that he’s got the right ingredients… He will be rewarded!

I am sitting here, 2 years into my lifetime investment… From a business standpoint… I am a fool. This place is bad for my career. I’m not going to be “great” here. My talents would be better served elsewhere… Where I could flourish in taking an “already winner” to the big dance. I know that. But I’m not in business am I? I’m in people agriculture now! Being patient is part of the game. Overcoming adversity, floods… Bugs… Drought…. This is all part of the process that I have to accept.

Yet the question remains… How patient can even the farmer be when there is no harvest year after year? At some point, even when all the conditions are perfect… If there is no harvest a farmer must choose… When is the field just not worth it?

Thankfully, I don’t think I am there yet.

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