Month: May 2005

This is about how I feel
OK, so we don’t have a rickshaw… but we did get “one of those” bike carriers that I hook up to my bike and we pull the kids all over town.

It’s so much fun to hear them squeal with glee as we fly down Tillson Street or to hear Megan say “You can do it daddy!” as I struggle to pull them up a hill. Of course the biggest thing they like while on the bike is for daddy to go faster than mommy. Megan gives minute by minute updates on whether or not we are winning or not.

In other news

• I got my new glasses yesterday. I was a bit early for my appointment but managed to squeeze in early. (The guy working at Lenscrafters was a “recovering youth pastor” between gigs.) I like the new look. These frames are a little bit more square than the others. I was half tempted to go with the “Rob Bell” look but didn’t want to try to look to hip. It just wasn’t me!
• Played a very good 18 holes at Romeo G&CC this morning. If I had been able to putt at all I would have torched the front nine. At one point I had hit 7 greens in a row. I almost drove the 300 yard 6th hole too. But I managed to double bogey the nasty 8th hole and squeek out a par on 9. I finished my round where I began… 3 putting a par 5. But I did strike the ball very well and can’t complain about a 79. (Of course, some of it was due to the course being set up pretty easy with all their outings the past two days.)
• Had a great time going to a kids birthday party. Little Deiter (one of Megan’s friends) turned 4 this weekend. As the weather was in the mid-70s… it was a perfect day to be outside enjoying friends.

So today I have a couple things on the old plate.

1. Getting new glasses. I’ll have to post a picture or something. It’s been about 3-4 years since I’ve gotten new glasses and my current ones are really beat up. I can’t wait!

2. We’ve got Bigger or Better tonight. It will be pretty interesting to see what the students come up with. I have to admit I am a little nervous!

There are a lot of times in my life when I feel like I’m left chasing a ball down a hill. This is my week so far. Lots of good stuff, but lots of stuff.

Here are some projects on my plate right now.

• Prayer & Praise “thing” This is a cool ministry we have going at our church. It’s half “post-modern ministry” and half good ole fellowship. I’m in charge of these biweekly gatherings and since they begin 6/5… I’m finalizing a lot of our plans.
• Golf! As I reflect back to last May, I’m much further behind than I was a year ago. The swing is still fleeting. I played the ball “down” [meaning I played it as it lied all around the course] today and shot a 42. I parred my nemesis hole, the 7th and had a tap in birdie on 9 after getting to the 510 yard par 5 in 2. First time I’ve done that all year. Besides that, it was a bad putting day. Since I missed most of the greens in regulation I was putting a lot of pressure to hit 6-10 foot putts for par. They just didn’t fall for me today. I joined a scramble league on Tuesday nights… First week wasn’t so good. We only had 1 birdie!
• Contact contact contact It’s been a good week for going to soccer games and band concerts. It’s one of the nice things about my job. Strange as it is… But “being seen in the right places” is an integral part of communicating to someone that “I love you and I want to be in your life.” I have no doubt that there was a direct relationship between the students I saw at “their stuff” and their making appearances on Wednesday night. I know it’s not that simple… But I can back it up with my own research!
• Revelation almost over! No, it’s not the end of the world. But it did feel good to do chapter 20 last night and know that we only have 21-22 left for next Wednesday. To me, nothing is cooler than having a plan and seeing it through. It’s been a good series… But I will be the first to say that I am ready for something else.
• Prom is tonight Is it really the end of May? Are seniors really graduating in a few weeks? Is tonight really the “big night” where way too many students do way too many stupid things? Where did March & April go? In all seriousness, I am praying that tonight will be a night of good decisions for my students. There is so much stupidity and bad decision making that can take place… Dear Lord, let them please you with their choices tonight!

Besides that… It’s a normal week and today is a normal day. I am off to sit in on some lunches at the high school and then off for a cool time meeting with one of the emerging leaders of our church.

It’s not that I don’t like summer or anything like that. I love the summer months. Living in Michigan, it is the glory of our state. But there are some things that I am experiencing right now that aren’t so fun.

1. It’s jammed with stuff! One of the things I loved about Romeo in coming here was that the summers were benign. Not anymore. I switch from pastor-mode to quasi-babysitting mode.
2. Pressure to plan early! Since I’m only part of the overall entertainment package for a lot of the students in our ministry, parents want to know early what I’ll be asking of them.
3. What about me? Of course, in the mix is my annual family vacation. You know, that time of the year when I completely dedicate myself to spending time with the kids, Kristen, and the fish at Shavehead Lake? The hard part is planning stuff knowing I won’t be there. Eeks.
4. Mission trip anyone? Almost lost in my summer plans is a massive and huge 3 week mission trip. Hello! I’m going to Belfast this summer. The best part about this trip is that it’s 100% funded and planned. All we really have to do now is show up. Phew!
5. Financial recovery? nonsense! More spending!
6. Internal pressure to “make something happen” Of course, amongst all the fun and fanfare is the reality that the church is trying to reinvent itself once again. We’re hoping to strategically use this summer as a time when we can double back our efforts and get some traction heading into the fall. I have a feeling that if I don’t “make something happen” there will be pressure on me to find another place to serve.

Enjoy summer! Remember when we were kids and summer was all about endless days of bike rides, summer camp, and little else?

Been a while since I wrote about my golf game.

The best part about my game right now? Well… I’m playing. The weather is getting nicer. I get my fresh air. I’m getting some exercise. That’s all the good stuff about my game.

I’ve been hovering in the mid-40’s for a few rounds now. I played last Thursday in Huntington after class and shot a nasty 46. Yuck! I think I hit one green in regulation. This morning I hit several greens… But always about 2 zip codes from the hole. I must have had 5 putts of more than 50′. So I ended up with a 41. To most, they would be pleased with that. But I want this year to be a bit more consistent. So far this spring it has been “scoring well, playing bad.” I don’t like that one bit.

The only shining part of my game right now is the Driver. I feel good about pulling out the big dog… Too bad my course is so short I only use it 2-3 times a day!

OK, so you’ve got to have a weird sense of humor to think this picture is funny. But I’ve taken more than my fair share of kids to the beach… And sometimes you see some weird stuff.

Summer plans
This week I’ll be working hard to nail down all of the Light Force summer. I kind of am saying “all” tongue in cheek since I will be gone for so much of the summer. Between my vacation plans and the Northern Ireland trip I think it leaves 4-5 weeks available for planning.

Same as usual?
The big question in my mind is whether or not to add new stuff or to just let the previous years success ride. Right now, I am thinking that it would be best if I repeated most of the stuff from last year and just added 1-2 things while taking away the big money item. (The Whitewater rafting trip.)

Pressure
No one is saying anything to me about this. But I feel pressure to have it out about 2 weeks ago. I know I have to get this done ASAP if I plan on having a lot of my students attend. Ugh!

Warning: This post, while intriguing, is not about something that is happening in my ministry.

The Question
It’s come up again on my favorite youth ministry forum. When we find out that a student is sexually active, what is our responsibility?

A few days ago a student came to her youth pastor and confessed that she had been foolish at a party, gotten drunk, and had sex with a friend from school. She was guilt ridden by it and was seeking help on how she could be forgiven and move on with her life.

It seems that the pastor did a very good job in guiding her back to the Father, giving her good information, and also helping her set up a plan to keep her accountable in the future. (Via a girlfriend.)

So what’s the problem?
The youth pastor came to the forums and asked if he should tell the girls parents about what had happened. It’s a fair question… What about confidentiality? Don’t the parents need to know? If she is forgiven of her sins, isn’t that the end of it?

My opinion is strong on this. Primarily because I have dealt with it before… Once in a bad way and the rest in good ways. I feel that the parents need to know about this right away since it affects something that is a life or death issue. (Yes, sex is life and death!) Since she is a minor and it is an issue of personal safety… I really feel that there is no choice. Mom and dad need to know.

What would I do?
I would do exactly what the youth pastor did… Except I would also STRONGLY urge the young lady to talk to her mom. (Since this was a girl, I would involve my wife who is trained much more on this than I am) Furthermore, I would give the young lady a deadline where she either talked to her parents or I would initiate a talk with them to let them know. If she would like me and Kristen would go with her… But her folks need to know this information right away.

What about…
Some brought up counter arguments that this was breaking a trust with the student. True, if it weren’t an issue of life or death, I wouldn’t break that trust. But it is… And I am under an obligation to let her parents be informed. (If she was not a minor, I would do it very differently!) Also, some were nervous about “forcing her to tell.” Well, there are plenty of times in life where you have to do something you don’t like to do that is better for you in the long run. I would much rather she was uncomfortable for a few days than have an unplanned pregnancy, STD, or even just damaged self-esteem. Sometimes the old wives tale is correct, The Pain is Worth the Gain.

One last point
I think it is good to mention as well in the “What would PA do?” answer that I would let my church leadership know what was going on. In reality, this would mean talking it over with my pastor… what happens between us is strictly confidential… but his input holds a lot of weight. We always need to be on the same page. (Especially if it blows up… as often happens. The SP must know about things like this so he isn’t blindsided by it when it inevitably lands in his lap.)

Golf world
Perhaps one thing I really like about golf is that I can measure my success. Sunday, I had a hard time keeping the ball on the golf course, today i had a couple of birdies. Going from a 50 to a 40 in a week is a success no matter how you look at it. I can feel it, I can measure, and others can see it and know that I am getting successful.

Not so fast!
But in my ministry, success isn’t so easily quantified. Sure, there are projects that go well and I could measure to say were a “success” but is that really success? I don’t think so. I don’t feel like God called me to be an event planner or even a group builder… God called me to lead people into a closer walk with Himself. So, while I can chop that up into “bit size” measureables… How do you really quantify spiritual growth in a person? By what they do? By their attitude? By their attendance? By their ability to lead others to Christ? By total “butts in seats” or something like that?

But you are a success PA!
If I were to voice this angst to people in our church I would hear, “PA, we think you are successful, everyone can tell you are doing a God job.” Really? How do I know? How come when it looks so successful I feel like such a failure?

Group therapy
I find great solace in being with other youth guys. There is something of a camaraderie in this job. We all feel the same way to some extent… We can see the good we are doing, but since it isn’t always measurable… We all feel constant uneasiness. Being with other people in ministry just feels good because we’re all in the same boat together.

What is success in ministry anyway?
As I search my brain for answers from God’s word… I only see “to die is gain” “offer your body as a living sacrifice” “imitate Christ” “die to self” on and on and on. Perhaps the real problem is that success isn’t the right word for measuring effectiveness. Why do we need to measure this anyway? Why is ministry judged from business terminology? Why are business pressures put on something that is in the spiritual realm?

Today I am just full of questions without answers…

This is why I like golf, I can measure my success!

There are times when working with students is just plain funny. Today is one of them.

Yesterday one of my beloved “core students” wrote this in her blog:

I, [name of student], Swear that I will try, to the best of my abilites, to not overreact about little things, keep my mouth shut when it needs to be shut, and not let little things bother me.

So, should I hold her to it? I read this in her blog today!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (wow I scream in a lot of my entries) I cant believe this! I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to punch somebody. I want to blare my music really loud, cry, scream, and crawl up in my bed with my nice warm blanket and my baby (aka my violin aka Dr Phil)and stay there. THEY ARE CUTTING THE STRINGS PROGRAM!!!!!!!!!!

Kind of self-explanatory, eh?

Last week I asked you to please take a minute to vote for a friend of mine’s backyard makeover sponsored by his local TV station. With over 19,000 votes casted, the Stewart’s received over 50% of the total vote! It was absolutely exhilirating to hear of the win.

Sometime on Friday night he started to lose his lead. Then by midday Saturday he was down by 13%. This is when we started to get suspicious. A fellow YS forum member sent the following letter to the station.

Dear Jim,
I was following your Backyard Makeover contest. I like your twist on the concept, good idea!!

Anyway, I was doing my one vote a day thing, and spreading the word a bit. And I found it interesting to watch the voting patterns. In the beginning, votes went up and down quite a bit. I suppose with less total votes that could explain a several percentage points change rather quickly.

Then it seemed to become a 3-family, and then a 2-family race. What I am amazed by, is how it so suddenly changed on the last day of voting. It is like a whole army of people just suddenly got involved > and where at the beginning there would be a change of 2, 3, even 5 percentage points, one family suddenly jumped nearly 20 points and has nearly half of all votes.

I smell either the greatest vote producing organization since Mayor Dailey’s machine in Chicago won the presidency for JFK or some type of computer program voting system. I don’t mind if it is the first, but the latter would seem to me to be cheating.

Any thoughts?

To which she received the following response.

Interesting…I’m passing your note on to Jim Reardon and Cecile Cutrer. As to computer voting, need to check the rules to see if it’s prohibitedor not (and if not, to consider in any future contests).

Thanks Jim

So, the contest ends, the Stewart’s lose…. until this happens.

OKAY – so everyone hold on to your seats!Cause I just got a phone call – WE WON!~!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHH CAN YOU BELIEVE ITOH MY GOSH – THANK YOU EVERYONE – Apparently they counted the REAL votes and the total gave us over 50%WOWPRaise God and THANK YOU – I will write more when I get a hold of myself!

It should be announced in the morning that the Stewart’s won! You can follow the story here.