Comments on: A culture of fear

By: Adam

Adam — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 03:50:24 +0000

The last church I worked with was right beside a school of kindergartners and 1st graders. I would see these little guys and girls walking to school all alone. I have to say, even though I have a bit of a stigma about my child walking to school alone, i also found out a few years later it isn’t just about crime…it is a missed opportunity to get a good convo in with your child. I realize some people can’t walk their child to school, but i drove my nephew to school every day for a while and it was the best time of connection for him. Just Uncle Adam time, and he loved it.
Having said all of that, my childhood was not ideal, but I was left all alone at home from a very young age…and I survived. In fact…I thrived in that.
Caution isn’t bad…freedom isn’t bad…understanding the situation of your neighborhood and being aware of opportunity to connect is also valuable. Interesting article/blog…makes you think…on both sides.

By: Todd Porter

Todd Porter — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:32:46 +0000

Where did you get your nanny cam at? I am looking for one since Hannah turned 12 yesterday.

By: adam mclane

adam mclane — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:17:07 +0000

@todd- you seem to be implying that hovering parents leads to less crime. Interesting idea, tough to measure I guess.

I think we need to decide if elongating adolescence by hovering is worth them being safer but not experiencing a childhood that makes them better adults? Who knows… 50 years from now we may look at this time and realize parents are completely neurotic?

I think it really boils down to the question, “who do these kids belong to?” If they are ours and we are to protect them from “the world” than we should be helicopters. If they are God’s and we are responsible caretakers, it’d seem like God would be aware of the dangers out there better than our helicoptering could ever do.

I better move on, I have to go install my nanny cam!

By: Todd Porter

Todd Porter — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:58:32 +0000

Perhaps we are safer now because parents are overly cautious with their kids and don’t let them walk to school on their own?

Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating the paranoia. I am just pointing out the fact that that is quite likely why we are safer now then we were long ago.

I agree that we parents need to lighten up and relax a little. Especially the parents of some of the teens that I work with. I was just looking at a youth pastor friend’s youth group blog where he posted daily video updates from summer camp and thought how cool technology was that parents can “see” into what is going on at summer camp with their kids. It is neat that we can be so connected.

By: Daniel Griswold

Daniel Griswold — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 15:37:40 +0000

I wonder about this all the time while watching movies that show kids in the 80′s (when crime was supposedly higher?) walking to school together. In fact there are kids walking all over the place without any parents. I think that is where the latchkey kid reference comes from. When I was a student (in the 90′s), there was one kid who walked to school, and she literally only walked one block over. Even the kids a few houses down had a bus stop. I remember thinking how strange it must be to not have to get on a bus. The bus was “safe”. The street was not.

Makes me wonder what I would do if I had a kid. Would I let them walk a few streets down to school? And do I trust that beyond my control, that God will protect them?

I might. Kids are more resilient and brave than we give them credit, and challenges like this help build character. One time, when I was in Sunday School, I decided I didn’t want to go. I memorized the 10 mile route that took us to the building where I attended Sunday School, and then when my parents signed me in, I used a loophole in the web of adults to get out of the building undetected, and I walked the full 10 miles to get home.

My parents and the adult volunteers were ecstatic when they found me. They probably flipped out, but it was that trip that I learned how to pray constantly. I was afraid that someone might steal me, but I got over that fear, and I trusted God to get me home despite my bad decision. I also think that I helped the Sunday School program fill in the gaps in their web.

I was about 7 or 8 years old when I did that. Not that I want all kids to do this, but we don’t even allow kids safe opportunities for adventure, like walking to school.

By: Dave Luke

Dave Luke — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 00:07:29 +0000

what is different? why has this happened? and what can we do about it?

Does fear now govern?

By: Jeff Lutz

Jeff Lutz — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:18:20 +0000

Matt and Adam,

We had a scavenger/pop can drive one night and had a parent complain to on of our volunteers about not knowing about this. We sent out flyers and notes to the parents, too.

I can remember doing similar things when I was in yg, so when the Youth Pastor proposed it we all thought great! When did the society get so traumatized that parents lock down their kids?

By: Adam mclane

Adam mclane — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:10:56 +0000

Rants are always allowed Matt!

By: Matthew McNutt

Matthew McNutt — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:06:42 +0000

lol … my reply wasn’t a direct reply to your post … more of a rant triggered by your post!

By: Matthew McNutt

Matthew McNutt — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 19:57:49 +0000

Here’s my frustration: parents that can’t let go of their kids! We’ve definitely become too afraid of everything; letting kids outside, letting kids go places on their own, even letting kids do things on church activities without fearing for them! During our mission trips this year I sent daily text message updates to parents, had a constant flow of twitter updates and photos, blog posts, emails, and even let the kids call home. This was for a nine day trip to Maine. And there were still a couple parents upset because I didn’t communicate enough and they didn’t know what was going on! There was literally some form of update every few hours. And it wasn’t enough!!!