Comments on: Ministers Need Friends http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/ Wed, 23 May 2012 16:55:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Ashley Smith http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7179 Ashley Smith Thu, 03 Dec 2009 23:29:32 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7179 Adam, this post is AWESOME- so true. It's easy to think that the only "social network" ministry peeps would have would be the church... and it is so easy to get stuck there. Through this past year, I have learned the importance of true friendship- and most of those true friends are "outside" the church. I think it is all about being relational, while still having personal boundaries. Having friends is what makes me Ashley. I am a social person. I am an extrovert. When I start limiting my social circles, I limit myself. Adam, this post is AWESOME- so true. It’s easy to think that the only “social network” ministry peeps would have would be the church… and it is so easy to get stuck there. Through this past year, I have learned the importance of true friendship- and most of those true friends are “outside” the church.

I think it is all about being relational, while still having personal boundaries. Having friends is what makes me Ashley. I am a social person. I am an extrovert. When I start limiting my social circles, I limit myself.

]]> By: Lars Rood http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7175 Lars Rood Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:36:38 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7175 I"m a big fan of this post. I've done youth ministry for a long time and I'll never forget something Chap Clark said to me years ago. Sort of Tongue in Cheek he said make sure to have friends outside the Church because when you leave your church you'll probably not talk to your church friends again. Granted this has changed a lot with the new available ways of staying connected with people but it still rings true a bit. I like friends I don't have to talk about my church or my youth ministry with. Granted I love friends who "get" me and understand what I do with my life and I also advocate for some youth ministry friends but I also thing just some people who aren't involved in the Youth Ministry world at all are really helpful. What I do. I play basketball, I run, I hang out with my kids friends parents, we travel and vacation with friends. I too like to be just Lars and not the pastor. Whatever I can do to be around people and just be me is good. I”m a big fan of this post. I’ve done youth ministry for a long time and I’ll never forget something Chap Clark said to me years ago. Sort of Tongue in Cheek he said make sure to have friends outside the Church because when you leave your church you’ll probably not talk to your church friends again. Granted this has changed a lot with the new available ways of staying connected with people but it still rings true a bit.

I like friends I don’t have to talk about my church or my youth ministry with. Granted I love friends who “get” me and understand what I do with my life and I also advocate for some youth ministry friends but I also thing just some people who aren’t involved in the Youth Ministry world at all are really helpful.

What I do. I play basketball, I run, I hang out with my kids friends parents, we travel and vacation with friends.

I too like to be just Lars and not the pastor. Whatever I can do to be around people and just be me is good.

]]> By: dane wutke http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7174 dane wutke Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:03:52 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7174 i have actually declined an invitiation to things b/c it was people from my church. not because i dont like them or don't appreciate them. i just knew i needed a break from the people i see every week. for me though, it was more of an exhaustion thing. i just needed a break from the same people i see every week. like you said adam, friends who don't see me as "pastor dane" or whatever. i have actually declined an invitiation to things b/c it was people from my church. not because i dont like them or don’t appreciate them. i just knew i needed a break from the people i see every week. for me though, it was more of an exhaustion thing. i just needed a break from the same people i see every week. like you said adam, friends who don’t see me as “pastor dane” or whatever.

]]> By: Marty Estes http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7173 Marty Estes Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:31:52 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7173 In our small town, it's really hard to meet folks because everyone's grown up together. That's really how you find our you're wired differently. My wife and I just don't fit in. Our friends from the past are our lifesavers...there are very few people in our town that our age.....but that's what happens when you live in a town of 1900. In our small town, it’s really hard to meet folks because everyone’s grown up together. That’s really how you find our you’re wired differently. My wife and I just don’t fit in. Our friends from the past are our lifesavers…there are very few people in our town that our age…..but that’s what happens when you live in a town of 1900.

]]> By: Robb Gossen http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7172 Robb Gossen Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:30:47 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7172 I am fortunate to have discovered this in my current ministry setting. There are group of us youth pastors that meet twice a week sometimes to plan ministry events together but most of the time to watch stupid videos, drink coffee and be free to be ourselves. These are my best friends in and out of ministry because the get it and we can be who we need to be. Great article. I am fortunate to have discovered this in my current ministry setting. There are group of us youth pastors that meet twice a week sometimes to plan ministry events together but most of the time to watch stupid videos, drink coffee and be free to be ourselves. These are my best friends in and out of ministry because the get it and we can be who we need to be. Great article.

]]> By: adam mclane http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7171 adam mclane Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:19:57 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7171 @joel- I think that other ministers from different churches can be a tremendous source of friendship for church staff. So much in common. And they certainly understand the need for discretion. @joel- I think that other ministers from different churches can be a tremendous source of friendship for church staff. So much in common. And they certainly understand the need for discretion.

]]> By: Geron Brown http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7169 Geron Brown Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:08:45 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7169 So True! So True!

]]> By: adam mclane http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7168 adam mclane Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:08:09 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7168 I don't see how that'd work. But if its all you have... Honestly, I think there is a lot of wisdom in finding stuff to do away from the church altogether. You need to be aware of and offended by "the church bubble.' Getting a life outside of the church should be about meeting people you have affinity for OTHER than church stuff. It's always good to remember that in most communities only about 5% of people actually are a part of a church. Making some friends among the other 95% is a good thing! I don’t see how that’d work. But if its all you have…

Honestly, I think there is a lot of wisdom in finding stuff to do away from the church altogether. You need to be aware of and offended by “the church bubble.’ Getting a life outside of the church should be about meeting people you have affinity for OTHER than church stuff. It’s always good to remember that in most communities only about 5% of people actually are a part of a church. Making some friends among the other 95% is a good thing!

]]> By: Joel Mayward http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7167 Joel Mayward Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:02:47 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7167 This post hits home for me, as it's been something my wife and I have been wrestling with for the past few months. Within my church, I can't avoid the fact that people view me as a pastor and spiritual mentor, which honestly can be draining after awhile. Right now, I'm pursuing friendships with pastors from churches in our area, which has been incredibly refreshing. We're wired for ministry, understand the hours thing you mentioned, and can find time during our work week to connect due to our ministry schedules. It's just in the beginning stages, but it's been great for me and my wife so far. This post hits home for me, as it’s been something my wife and I have been wrestling with for the past few months. Within my church, I can’t avoid the fact that people view me as a pastor and spiritual mentor, which honestly can be draining after awhile.

Right now, I’m pursuing friendships with pastors from churches in our area, which has been incredibly refreshing. We’re wired for ministry, understand the hours thing you mentioned, and can find time during our work week to connect due to our ministry schedules. It’s just in the beginning stages, but it’s been great for me and my wife so far.

]]> By: Matt http://adammclane.com/2009/12/03/ministers-need-friends/#comment-7166 Matt Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:47:18 +0000 http://adammclane.com/?p=5295#comment-7166 How do you feel about attending other young adult events at other churches to try and meet people? How do you feel about attending other young adult events at other churches to try and meet people?

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