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Snapshots from campus life

Two moments at SDSU from last weekend… both are jaw-dropping crazy and deeply sad at the same time.

1. After the basketball game Friday night Megan (10) and I were walking through campus on our way home with a ton of underclassman. Two girls who seemed like new friends were chatting about why they chose SDSU versus other schools. One girl asked the other, “Oh, what other schools?” Westmont, Azuza Pacific, Biola… she listed a bunch of Christian schools. Her friend goes, “Oh, my parents wanted me to go to a Christian school too.” And she listed off a few on the east coast. The first girl kind of quietly says, “Yeah, well I didn’t want to go to a Christian school because I wanted to F a lot of guys.” Her friend said, “Yup, that’s pretty much it for me too.

Scary. I nearly stumbled over my jaw when they said that.

2. Same walk Saturday night. After the game Paul and I are walking. Uneventful past the freshmen dorms and off campus into the frat/sorority area. 10 o’clock is pretty quiet. All the dudes are usually out at Rite Aid trying to score a 30 pack of Keystone. (Or pre-gaming while watching Sportcenter) So it’s dead quiet on frat row. But up ahead I see 4 girls coming towards us. Then one of them sees us and they all try to hide behind a car. Um, too late… we’re like RIGHT THERE. So they pop up and kind of half jog past us, trying not to make eye contact…

All four of them in thongs, bras, high heals. (It was like 50 degrees out!) Nothing else. They were totally embarrassed. They didn’t know where to put their hands as they tried to cover themselves.

We get in the car and I start laughing. Paul (8) looks at me and goes… “That was awkward.”

Two thoughts…

1. I might pull all the money out of the kids college fund right now and just give it to them. Forget college. They are not going.

2. What the heck happened in our culture when women willingly show up to a party in their underwear? I mean nothing says “please take turns having sex with me when I get drunk” quite like showing up in your underwear, right?

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15 Responses to Snapshots from campus life

  1. Aaron Mora November 17, 2011 at 7:08 am #

    Wow!  Scary perspectives.  Definitely a symptom of an oversexed culture.  Luckily this isn’t every college student, but it does highlight the importance of building a personal faith that will endure while students are still at home!

  2. Troepke November 17, 2011 at 7:15 am #

    Yep. Thanks for posting this…yep the mess we are living in. Using your experience to leverage conversations today with some high school jrs and srs. Eye opening for them…which i hope means hope sti remains.

  3. Lisa Grant November 17, 2011 at 7:16 am #

    Adam, not only is this behavior common on college campuses, but high school as well.  I’m sad to say I was not at all shocked by either event you shared.  

  4. Roodmama November 17, 2011 at 7:44 am #

    So sad, and sadly not surprised. This reminds me of a time about 6 years ago I was sitting at a restaurant with 8 of the girls from my high school Bible study group I led. A couple of them were cracking up over pictures of themselves that they had posted onto their MySpace pages (Pre Facebook!) in their bras and undies!!! I was shocked, and they thought it was so funny. Mind you, these were my girls who were Srs AND leaders in children’s ministries!!! They Still giggled when I reminded them that these pictures were out for the world to see and could not be taken back….until I asked them how they felt about my husband Lars seeing these pictures or each others’ dads. That was when they said, “Ewwwww!”
    I don’t have the answers as to why even good girls flaunt themselves (& I’ll admit I wasn’t too different myself when I wa in high school) but its def an issue that we as parents and/or youth workers need to be very intentional about and address it.

  5. Erin Dee November 17, 2011 at 8:22 am #

    I haven’t read the other comments, so I apologize if I repeat their sentiments. Those two stories clearly show how a void in the lives of those girls and how they seek men as idols in hopes of filling the void. I pray God shepherds them and draws them close to Him. May we all remember our own idols and praise God for salvation!

  6. Melanie Crutchfield November 17, 2011 at 9:09 am #

    Ugh. I don’t even know where to start…so I guess I’ll just say that I’m pretty sure this is the saddest thing I’ll read today.

  7. realyouthmin November 17, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    So…not to be too much of an a-hole about it but I’ve got a question.  Last year, you posted a commentary on Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.”  How is what you’ve posted above not simply the logical extension of what Katy Perry sings about and elevates?

    • Adam McLane November 17, 2011 at 10:30 am #

      The difference is an important one: monogamy.

      Teenage dream celebrate teenage love, in many ways the love our grandparents experienced.

      The things I heard/saw celebrated were promiscuity,

  8. Lars Rood November 17, 2011 at 11:20 am #

    When I said “like” I meant I’m glad you are bringing up this topic not because I like what it’s about. This is a tough world and it’s getting tougher for our students to navigate how to fit in it. Thanks for pushing the conversation.

  9. Amy November 17, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    I too think that what is happening here is sad and many people are losing their way and getting their priorities upside down.

    What concerns especially though is your last line:  …”nothing says please take turns having sex with me when I get drunk quite like showing up in your underwear right?”  This is just the excuse some boys/men need to take advantage of or rape girls/women.  Certainly the girls are being irresponsible, but that is not excuse for men to rape them

  10. Klintb November 19, 2011 at 7:37 pm #

    The sound of my heart sinking…and me hugging the life out of my daughters. 

  11. Tidbitsoftorah November 20, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    You Have Been Warned

    The prophet has already warned us that we should be careful not to think that God has any form or likeness, saying: “Watch yourselves most carefully, since you saw no image” (Devarim 4:15); “But you saw no image – there was only a voice” (ibid. 4:12). “Watch yourselves…..carefully” means: be careful – in your thinking and imagination – not to represent the Creator by any shape, nor to conceive of Him in any image or likeness, for your eyes beheld neither image nor form when He spoke to you, as it says: “To whom, then, will you liken the Almighty? What likeness will you compare to Him?” (Yeshayahu 40:18); “To whom, then, will you liken Me, that I should compare to?’ says the Holy One” (ibid. 40:25); For who in the skies can be compared to God? Who is like God among the heavenly beings?” (Tehillim 89:7); “There is none like You among the gods, HaShem, nor are there works like Yours” (ibid. 86:8); and there are many similar passages. (source pg. 133 Duties of the heart) The Divine attributes of action are those that are ascribed to the Creator as a result of His actions. It is possible that in attributing these qualities to Him, He is made an associate of some of His creatures [to whom they are also attributed]. Nevertheless, we are permitted to ascribe these qualities to Him, because of our urgent need to know Him and recognize His existence, so that we may assume His service. We find extensive use of this kind of Divine attribute in the Torah and the books of the prophets, as well as in the praises offered by the prophets and the pious. Such attributes are used in two ways:
    1) Attributes are ascribed which indicate image and bodily form, as in the following examples for Scripture: “And God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him” (Bereshis 1:27); for in God’s image did He make man” (ibid. 9:6); “By the mouth of God” (Bamidbar 9:18); “My hands alone stretched out the heavens” (Yeshayahu 45:12); “in God’s ears” (Bemidbar 11:1); “and under His feet” (Shemos 24:10); “O arm of God!” (Yeshayahu 51:9); who has not sworn falsely by My Name” (Tehillim 24:4); “in the eys of God” (Bereshis 6:8); “and God said in His heart” (ibid. 8:21) and there are other similar attributions of bodily organs to God.2) Attributes are ascribed to God which indicate movements and bodily actions, as it says: “God smelled [the pleasing fragrance]” (ibid. 8:21); “God saw…regretted…and He was saddened at heart” (ibid. 6:5-6); “God came down” (ibid. 11:5); “God remembered” (ibid. 8:1); “God heard” (Bemidbar 11:1); Then God awoke as one that had slept” (Tehillim 78:65); and there are many other similar attributes to Him of human actions.The foolish and ignorant person will conceive of the Creator, may He be exalted, according to the literal sense of the Scriptural phrase.

  12. Ben Burns November 29, 2011 at 10:33 am #

    College offers some pretty wild experiences. That’s why I’ve dedicated the last 12 years to helping high school seniors know what’s ahead. Donna Freitas’ book, Sex and the Soul: Jugglng Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses is an eye-opener and excllenct resource for anyone helping high school seniors prepare spiritually for college. 

  13. S Taber November 29, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Thanks for keeping it honest.  We are losing a generation of females who dress and behave like their role models, porn stars and celebs who frequent rehabs.  Its a sad time to be a female.  Dads need to step it up and speak into their daughter’s lives. Today’s women are seriously clueless about their risky behavoir..until they experience date rape or marry a loser. 

    Shirin Taber
    Author of Wanting All the Right Things (Relevant)
    Souther CA

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