Month: November 2011

  • Sticky Faith Book Club, Chapter 6

    Sticky FiathThis is part 5 in an 8 part series on Sticky Faith. Join our book club by signing up here. (part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Kristen:     Since moving to San Diego, two opportunities stand out where our kids were “getting it”. Three years ago our community group befriended a local refugee family. We assisted the family in a variety of ways – purchasing groceries, advocating for the dad when he was treated unfairly by an employer, and serving as a go-between at parent teacher conferences, etc. One member of our community group even attended the birth of their youngest child, assisting them with hospital paperwork and helping them find comfort in the unfamiliar hospital environment. We did fun things too, like sharing meals, playing together and taking them to the zoo and ocean for the first time. My personal favorite was snuggling with their newborn daughter each Sunday during church. The following year myself and the kids had the opportunity to tutor refugee students as part of an after-school program. I enjoyed the weekly sessions knowing that Megan and Paul were welcome to come along. Even before reading this book, the idea of serving together as a family has been pressing on my mind. Chapter six only made it’s importance more glaringly obvious.

    Adam: OK, so as of today we suck at this chapter. All of it. From top to bottom the McLane family needs improvement in this area of parenting.

    I hope I didn’t sugar that.

    In the course of our day-to-day life Kristen and I are pretty active about getting past issues of service and seeking practical justice. And while we do a decent job of talking to our kids about the nuts/bolts “why” questions of why we do what we do… we aren’t very good about getting them involved in acts of justice.

    “That’s not fair” – This is the mantra of our house

    “Life’s not fair. Cope and deal kid.” That’s probably not the most compassionate thing to come out of my mouth. But I struggle with the “fair” game our kids play at this age.

    Perhaps some of that is a developmental issue with our kids age? Megan (10) is just now starting to grasp the idea that she can serve others for a purpose greater than the reward she’ll earn from mom/dad for doing it. Paul (8) is happy to do just about anything with us… but he’s far from cognitively grasping an act of service as a form of justice. Justice for an 8 year old is getting to eat the same amount of Halloween candy as his big sister or having the same bed time.

    Chapter 6 was a wake up call that I can’t just teach justice at church. And I can’t just practice justice personally. I need to teach my kids what justice looks like in our daily lives.

    What I loved about this chapter is that it’s not too late or too hard to make changes. Heading into the tween and teen years we are fortunate enough to be positioned to do some really cool things with our kids. Whether its serving alongside them on one of the many service opportunities at church or having them join me on one of the justice projects I’m a part of… having made the connection that is isn’t enough for mom/dad to seek justice but it’s important to our kids spiritual development, those are adjustments we can and will make.

    An addendum to chapter 6 for my friends in youth ministry:

    As Kristen and I debriefed chapter 6 we talked about the disconnect between the examples of justice work given in the book and some of those in vocational youth ministry we know. It’s not that the examples given were bad, not in any way, they were just representative of a small minority of well-resourced ministries. We laughed together that some of the people following along with this book club don’t even know that churches like that actually exist!

    I’ve spent many nights in homes of youth workers across the country. I’ve shared coffee at their kitchen tables. I’ve sat in their offices. I’ve heard their stories of extreme faith and deep poverty. (I’m not trying to dishonor anyone– but you need to know that many people in youth ministry are truly poor.) As I read this chapter I couldn’t help thinking of those dramatically under-resourced folks. While relatively powerless in their ministries they faithfully serve Christ day-by-day.

    And I wonder if their kids look at justice a little differently? I wonder if instead of putting together some elaborate plan to teach their kids an object lesson on justice that they need to experience justice themselves?

    Maybe someone needs to stand up for them? Justice for many ministry families is a liveable wage. Or health care so they don’t have to chose between a visit to the doctor and their light bill. Or even realistic expectations on their parents so they can be good parents.

    As I think about those families, and not too long ago the McLane’s were one of them, I think that teaching justice to their kids looks a little different. Kristen and I joked (Not a funny ha-ha joke) about the choices we were forced to make. We willing chose injustice for our family for the sake of our ministry. Nights when we turned the heat up to 67 and served snacks we couldn’t afford for the sake of hosting an adult small group. Or times when we gave to up our vacation money to support things our church bailed on. Or times where we told our kids no to things because we couldn’t afford them in full knowledge that the senior pastors kids bragged about getting the same thing.

    I just want to acknowledge these injustices as we think about teaching sticky justice to our kids. We can’t glaze over the injustice we experience and think that we’re teaching our kids anything. I think as we wrestle with this as a ministry community and try to iron out developing sticky faith in our kids– we need to wrestle with some of the justice issues in our own kitchen. Because when you experience justice for yourself you don’t have to learn about what justice is anymore.

    Discussion questions:

    1. Kara shares how her and her husband define their family. How would you define your families priorities? What would your kids say?
    2. How would you describe your ministry role as justice instead of service?
    3. Tell us about a time when you and your family served together.
    4. Think about a few things your kids love to do. How can you help them connect their areas of interest to pursue justice in some area?

  • Social media interaction with minors – Where do you draw the line?

    I have a column this week on Slant 33 about this very topic. Here’s some sound bytes.

    Youth ministry is dangerous. It will bring you into temptation. It’ll bring you face to face with your deepest fears and greatest annoyances. It’ll cause you to create policies and break them at the same time. Chances are, as you engage with students online, you’ll see all of that and a whole lot more. 

    —

    Invitation is the dividing line in my eyes. I think that, as we engage with our students through social media, it has to be about permission. I know many of them say things in Facebook messages or chat that aren’t honoring to God. I know many of them have secret Tumblr accounts and private circles on Twitter and/or Google Plus. But I don’t want to force myself there without permission. I don’t think my role as a youth worker should come with expectations that I’m an FBI agent, cracking into their private spaces to discover what they really think. 

    —

    First, I think your church leadership should wrestle through this question together. I know it sounds lame to think about drafting a policy, but there are both philosophy of ministry and legitimate liability concerns to think through. Most school districts do not allow teachers to socialize with students on Facebook. There is good logic there that is worth wrestling through as a staff. Whatever the policy is, it’ll take the staff team policing one another to enforce it. 

    Second, I think that when you do engage your students, you should do it through a ministry account and not your personal account. For instance, it’d be a good idea to create a Facebook page for your ministry or church and then interact with your students by using Facebook as a page. It’s a nuanced difference but an important one. It puts you in a position where you are obviously an agent of the ministry instead of the individual person. Because, at the end of the day, that is your role. Just like you attend a Friday night football game as a representative from the high school ministry, you engage with students online as a representative of a ministry.

    Read the rest (And Tash & Scott’s take on the same question!)

    What say you? 

  • 10 Ways to Connect with Me at NYWC

    On Thursday, Marko and I fly out to Atlanta for the National Youth Workers Convention. It’s sure to be a fun week of connecting, training, and encouragement.

    I’ve always loved the convention and I’m stoked to continue to invest in making the convention an awesome experience for youth workers from around the country.

    Here’s my line-up of stuff. I’d love to meet you!

    Friday

    10:00 am – Creating an Online Ministry: Three Timeless Principles for Building a Sustainable Online Ministry

    4:00 pm – Getting started as a blogger

    10:00 pm – Cartel Meet-up – Party like a youth worker (RSVP here)

    Saturday

    8:00 am – Expanding the vision: Rethinking Volunteers (Fishbowl)

    5:00 pm – Free and awesome communications tools for youth ministry

    6:00 pm – Using Mailchimp for Ministry

    7:30 pm – Hosting a meet-up for event planners with folks from Eventbrite (contact me for more info)

    Sunday 

    10:00 am – Unveiling one of our projects in Big Room

    Monday 

    8:00 am – 3:00 pm – Extended Adolescence Symposium (tickets)

    A note for those who want to meet-up. I really do want to connect and catch-up. Feel free to contact me via Facebook or here to try to schedule something. A (very good) problem that Marko and I have this year is that most of our time is already booked with meetings and such.

    Random sidenote: Based on all the feedback I got on Twitter the other day. I’ll be spending chunks of this week transitioning my presentations from PowerPoint to Keynote.

     

  • 4-0 Sports Day

    I’m in full-on sports heaven lately. And yesterday was a prime example… my teams went 4-0 on a single Saturday.

    Football

    • Notre Dame vs. Maryland – When the best thing the media can say about your team is the ugly uniforms… you know your season is bad. And that’s the case fro Maryland. This was the closest they’ll get to a bowl game this year and they laid an egg. Notre Dame dominated this game from beginning to end. A lot of schools talk about how great their program is and how their fans are special. Take a moment to understand the Shamrock Series and you’ll see why Notre Dame is a cut above the most elite programs from a money perspective. No one else could pull off something like that.
    • San Diego State vs. Colorado State – I was actually worried about this game. Last year we struggled with their quarterback… but that became a non-issue when he was knocked out early with a sprained knee. Abel Perez has been a great kicker the past two years. But this year something is wrong. I can’t believe we haven’t added a replacement. He went 1-3 yesterday. Had he missed the 3rd yesterday it would have been the second game he’d cost them this year.

    If there’s a miracle and SDSU beats Boise State, UNLV, and Fresno State there is a chance they could face Notre Dame in the Independence Bowl… just tossing that out there.

    Basketball

    • Notre Dame vs. Mississippi Valley State – I didn’t even know this game was yesterday. I just saw it on their ESPN page. The Irish will struggle this year in conference play as they rebuild. But I think they will still get to 20+ wins.
    • San Diego State vs. Southern Utah – At one point the score was 24-3. I don’t know how bad Souther Utah is because they actually looked like they could play in warm-ups. But the team defense of SDSU put on a clinic. That lead to many, many fast break opportunities and some of the most ridiculous dunks I’ve ever seen in a live game. The final score was 70-37. It was actually more lopsided than the final score indicates.
    It’s pretty rare when all 4 teams are in action on the same day. And it was so cool that all 4 teams got victories! 

  • SDSU Aztecs Basketball Preview

    I missed the two exhibition games. (Which makes me a bad season ticket holder) That said, Megan and I made it to the season opener last night at the Viejas Arena.

    Bryant College wasn’t exactly a great opponent, which was good because the Aztecs weren’t really ready to play. The first half was defined by their lack of cohesiveness. That makes sense because Chase Tapley is the only returning starter. On top of that two other starters missed the game, James Rahon with an ankle sprain and Jamaal Franklin served a one game suspension for a suspected DUI arrest over the summer. Looking up at the halftime stats I thought the scoreboard was broken! They shot 39% from the floor including 25% from the free throw line. Somehow they still rallied to take the lead, 27-26 at the half.

    But the Aztecs came out of the locker room with a new attitude– an attitude I expect them to express for the next 25 games. Unlike last years team everything isn’t going to work. In 2010-2011 it didn’t matter what the game plan was because they were better at every position than most of their opponents. This year is different. With only 8 scholarship players they are going to have to take advantage of what the opposition gives them. Last night, they were ice cold from the 3 point line. (0-12 at one point) So in the second half they crashed the boards and shot a very respectable 79% from the field.

    Starless but not starproof

    I couldn’t get over the fact that almost none of the players who got time on the court last night would have played significantly last year. There is no player as dominant as Kwahi Leonard was last year, not even close. (I wish he’d stayed another year, especially with the NBA lockout) But that doesn’t mean that they can’t play together as a team and win 25 games to win their conference. It will all come down to gelling as a team.

    Last night the gelling of this basketball team happened during the second half. before our very eyes we saw a team go from gym scrubs to DI college basketball. Their non-conference schedule is substantially more difficult this year than last. (No one wanted to play them last year!)

    My prediction?

    They will enter conference play at 12-4. Overall I think they will go 22-8 in the regular season. Not good enough to get ranked, but good enough to get invited to the Dance for the third straight year.

  • Good News idea: Ring that bell

    Pretty soon you’ll start hearing a familiar Christmas jingle. No, I don’t mean the annoying Christmas muzak you’ll hear at the grocery store. I mean the jingle of the bell ringer outside.

    If you’ve rushed by the red kettle as quickly as possible your whole life, maybe you don’t know that it’s a fundraiser for the Salvation Army. Simply put the Salvation Army is a denomination (of sorts) built upon the idea that the Gospel of Jesus isn’t just for people who are accustomed/comfortable going to church. For more than 149 years the Salvation Army has ministered to the destitute, hungry, and homeless.

    In other words, the Salvation Army does the work of bringing Good News to those who most need it 365 days per year.  They are there every day for the homeless among us. They are there when disaster strikes. They are there when the hurts are bad. And they are there to help heal painful addictions.

    Here’s a challenge. From Thanksgiving to Christmas you will see these Salvation Army bell ringers outside of malls, grocery stores, and department stores all over.

    Don’t pass a single one. Every time you go in a store with a bell ringer outside drop in a quarter or a dollar. If you have your kids with you, give them the money to put in the kettle so they can start to see the connection between your money and what you do with your money for good.

    But wait? That might cost me a lot of money? 

    Yup, make a choice. You want to save that quarter or dollar– don’t go shopping. 

    Think of it as a toll. To get into that store you have to donate to the poor. Are you up for the challenge?

    Don’t just wish good tiding of joy. Be good tidings of joy. 

  • Love is an Orientation DVD

    I’m proud to be a part of the youth ministry session of this project with Ginny Olson. Together we talk about ministering to LGBT students in your youth group, creating a safe environment, and bullying.

    You can pre-order the DVD curriculum from Amazon here.

  • Left alone, you are weird

    Our society celebrates the lone wolf. We have a unique ability to pin the success or failure of a group effort on an individual.

    • Drew Brees led his team to a win.
    • All Stephen Spielberg films are brilliant.
    • Thomas Edison invented thousands of things.
    • Barak Obama is the most powerful leader in the world.
    • Bill Hybels leads Willow Creek Community Church.
    • Katy Perry is an amazing performer.

    In all of those cases we celebrate an individual who has become the figurehead of a much larger effort.

    Deep in each of those statements is a cultural lie. As we idolize those individuals and aspire to become them we look past the reality that none of them is a lone wolf, but we see that in order to get to those positions of “respect” we need to act alone.

    Video games and smart phones

    The posture of the individual

    We’ve grown up celebrating the first person perspective. When Duke Nukem came on the market in the mid-1990s it revolutionized the video game experience because you, the player, became Rambo. Instead of looking at a strategy game from a 3rd person perspective they put you in the 3D world of first person.

    Thousands of hours of acting as the lone wolf behind first-person shooters sends a powerful psychological lie to your brain, retraining it to believe that you can best control your destiny alone.

    If there’s anything disturbing about today’s smart phone craze, it’s the new posture we take in public settings. While it was once considered anti-social behavior to seek isolation in a crowd, we are now a crowd of isolated humans staring at our phones. The flickering pixels in our pockets are more alluring than the real world around us.

    These devices aren’t just statements of convenience or entertainment, they reflect a great cultural reference to the first-person perspective.

    A call from individualism to communion

    We don’t celebrate individualism, we celebrate communion

    As a Christian I know that individualism is the enemy of communion.

    Communion is a powerful technology that changes everything.

    While our culture celebrates and romantacizes the lone wolf, Jesus calls us into something greater. It’s reflected back to the Garden of Eden. God looked at his creation and one by one said, “It’s good.” But when he looked at the man, who was alone, he said “It’s not good for man to be alone.” So he made woman. We are so hardwired to think about the sex part of that statement or even the idea that God made a helper (completer) for Adam that we miss the first part… it’s not good for man to be alone.

    Satan wants you alone. He wants to convince you that you are better off acting as a lone wolf. He whispers in your ear– “You don’t need them. You want to change the world, do it your way.”

    Satan’s technology is getting you alone where you are vulnerable. God’s technology is communion, where you are never alone.

    Jesus’ life calls you and I into communion. We don’t merely take communion as a representation of our 1-1 relationship with God. We take communion as a representation of our 1 billion – 1 relationship with God. We actually don’t take communion… we ingest it as a rejection of Satan’s technology of the lone wolf and exchange it for God’s technology of communion.

    When we stand, in communion, with a billion other believers we are an unbelievable force for change. We have the power to make a busted world right.

    That’s why we share communion in community. You simply can’t do communion alone, it’s impossible.

    Jesus isn’t calling you or I to merely take communion in remembrance of what He did. He is calling you and I to live communion together.

  • Seek everyday beauty

    Life is full of unexpected, frivolous, everyday beauty.

    But you’ll only see it if you slow down enough to notice.

    You don’t take time to notice beauty. You make time.

    May I seek this today. Amen.

    UPDATE

    Shortly after I posted this I put Jackson in the Baby Bjørn and headed off for a trip to the bank. (Praise God for checks!) Our bank is about half a mile away, an easy walk. I cruised over there, made my deposits, and was cruising home. About half way back it hit me. I wasn’t acting on my prayer. I was rushing right by so much ordinary beauty. Worse yet– poor Jackson was just along for the ride.

    So we stopped. Right on our walk. And looked at leaves on trees. The tiny creases. The pretty colors. I put leaves in JT’s hands. We looked at them closely. Next came flowers. Yellow ones, purple ones, burgundy ones. We took turns smelling the flowers and grinding the petals between our fingers.

    Prayer is a verb.

  • Romotive – I had to have it

    I can’t wait to play with this around the office.

    $78. Here.