The five McLane’s had a very simple Christmas day. 

• Everyone slept in so we didn’t get out of bed until about 7. A huge treat!
• As excited as the kids were to open presents they were polite and orderly about the whole thing.
• It took Jackson exactly one gift to figure out what this was all about. He loved opening gifts!
• Christmas was pretty low-key from a gift perspective. We’ve gone from extreme to extreme in our house. Sometimes we’ve given them only 1 gift and other years we’ve gotten them lots of gifts. This year, we gave them each a few and they seemed quite pleased. There were some things off of their lists and some surprises.
• Speaking of gifts. While I’m a noted C.S. Lewis-hater, my kids now have a full set of the Chronicles of Narnia.
• Megan and Paul’s “big gift” is a day trip with mom or dad. Megan is going whale watching with Kristen and I’m taking Paul out on the ocean for a day of fishing.
• Jackson’s big red tractor was a big hit. Several times during the day we saw JT crawl over to the tractor and talk to it.
• Kristen made a huge feast! Ham and all the fixings. My favorite.
• For the second year in a row, we channeled our inner Brit and started Christmas dinner with crackers. We all felt quite royal eating our feast with our crowns on. (Yes, mine was pink… quite lovely.)
• Our house rotation continues. This summer we converted our living room to an office and our dining room into a living room. Well, yesterday was our first family meal in the kitchen around the table. We even did highs/lows while we ate. Look at us– real parents!
• Megan, Paul, and I had epic battles throughout the day with our fake nerf guns. Why is it that the cheapest gifts (stocking stuffers) end up being the most fun?
• With Christmas on Sunday it feels like we got ripped off a day. Kristen is off from work today. But I have three projects due this week so I’m off to the office later this morning. (A website, a curriculum, and first steps on a book project)

A Fiscally Responsible Christmas

For the last several years Kristen and I have kept a pretty tight Christmas budget. With all the commercialization of Christmas we take great pride to see December as a month to continue our savings/budget goals. It makes me smile to know we can enjoy Christmas and continue our goals at the same time. Take that Madison Avenue! 

I’m fried.

The past 4 months were exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. Here’s a summary of the stuff I’ve been up to.

• We changed churches
• I helped launched 2 businesses, mountains of paperwork and 27 trips to the bank, and hundreds of hours of “other crap.”
• I wrapped up 3+ years of time with Youth Specialties, working like crazy to “finish strong.” (See the bullet point above, that’s a phrase I now don’t want to hear until 2025.)
• McLane Creative launched 2-3 major sites for clients.
• The Youth Cartel launched 3-4 major sites for clients.
• I wrote several very important articles including the feature for the Nov/Dec edition of Immerse Journal.
• I built new sites for McLane Creative, The Youth Cartel, my blog & Marko’s blog.
• Started a whole slew of initiatives for The Youth Cartel
• Put together tons and tons of proposals for The Youth Cartel & McLane Creative
• Done initial work on the first major projects for these two businesses.
• Found a new office.
• Bought lots of really expensive software & hardware.
• Gosh, I need a nap before I finish this list. There’s way more.

The last 4 months have felt like a years worth of work– most of which I was consumed by having a full-time job at YS and  trying to do the rest at night.

Normally we vacation for at least a week in the summer. But the summer of 2011 that didn’t happen.

So we’re kicking off fall 2011 with a little mini-vacation, camping in the forests above Palm Springs.

Our family has a rule that it’s not vacation if daddy brings a computer. So all of our electronics are staying home. Macbooks, iPads, Nintendo DSs… and I’m even turning off the email function on my phone. We’re disconnecting for a few days and heading for the hills to recupperate. And if this isn’t enough? We’ll do it again.

My brain is on empty. My soul is weary. And I’m the kind of tired a good nights sleep won’t fix. We need to get away… and read, rest, play… do nothing.

So that’s the deal.

Friday morning we’re packing up a big ole` pick-em-up truck (thanks Brian!). All of us. Mom, dad, Megan, Paul, Jackson, and Stoney. And we’re going to enjoy some pure California fun.

Next weekend the McLane family is going camping. (A non-digital adventure!) Specifically, we’re going to Idyllwild, CA for 3 days and 2 nights.

We need this

Summer 2011 has been the lost summer. Especially for me. Leaving YS and starting up 2 businesses meant that we didn’t take a vacation over the summer and I’m pretty much fried as a result. In the last 90 days I’ve worked 12+ hours probably about 75 of those days.

Our family is in desperate need of R&R– away from projects, school, and anything digital. Why? Because after next weekend the fall gets going like crazy with conferences, cool projects, youth group retreats, yada yada yada. If we don’t do this we won’t get a break until Thanksgiving.

Here’s the deal

Kristen and I were into backpacking before we had kids so we know the nuts & bolts stuff about setting up camp. But since we’ve had kids (10+ years) we’ve never gone camping without taking 40 middle/high school kids.

What we need is help with fun things to do with our kids while camping beyond the obvious stuff like hiking and s’mores and exploring the woods. We know we need to try geocaching…. but what else?

Leave me a comment with your favorite camping tip and help our family make some memories next weekend. 

The other day I was sitting at my desk working on a project that commanded my full attention. Fully engaged, I barely acknowledged that Kristen handed me Jackson (6 months old) so she could work on lunch. So, for about 15 minutes, I’m left holding him on my lap with one hand while I’m trying to type and navigate to check on my project with the other.

As the minutes go by Jackson is gets annoyed. He’s very active. His legs were banging against mine. He was grabbing my arm. He was pulling on cords and anything he could get his hands on. I could feel his drool running over my arm and dripping on my leg.

I kept bouncing my legs and trying to hold him close in hopes that he’d settle down so I could carry on.

That’s when it hit me. I looked at him, he was literally slapping me in the face to get my attention, my baby boy is way more important than that file. (Or that email, or even that phone call.) So I pushed my work aside, picked him up with two hands– and got on the floor with him to give him my full attention.

For the next 10 minutes he beamed with a huge toothless grin. He showed me his toys. He showed me how he’s trying to learn to crawl. How could I have missed this to begin with?

I have a tendency to get lost in planning, dreaming, and strategizing about the future. So much so that I struggle to live in the present. Sometimes I’m so focused on looking forward that the present tends to sneak up on me. It’s like waking up from a dream and realizing that you’ve overslept. It’s shocking and guilt inducing in the same moment. And just like oversleeping you try to laugh it off but you know it’s a big deal at the same time.

I’ve learned that this is one of my strengths. But it’s also one of my weaknesses. My mind naturally thinks about Tomorrowland to the detriment of Todayland.

Tomorrow is important. But not as important as today. 

No DNA test required, right? This is my boy.

JT has fit into our family from the first moment. We never knew he was missing from the family make-up until he invited himself to the party. He completes our little family.

This baby is proof that there are no accidents in God’s eyes, just emerging possibilities.

When an emerging possibility rocks you world, throw your hands in the air and enjoy the ride. His way is way more fun than your way.

It’s inevitable.

All of the chaos happens when I leave town. 

On Monday afternoon Kristen dropped me off at the San Diego airport. All was calm and under control in the McLane clan. Leaving Kristen for 5 days with Megan, (10) Paul, (7) and Jackson (4 months) was hard. I really didn’t want to leave them. We all wished I didn’t have to do this trip. Not because I was dreading going on the trip or being in Minnesota but simply because it’s been so long since I’ve been away. And I’ve really loved being home more.

At the same time we were prepared for daddy to be gone for a few days and for Kristen to manage the kids, and the house, and her job, and the kids school. (They go year-round, getting out July 15th) The older two are growing very independent… helpful even. In many ways, when I’m gone is like an exam. Can they handle more responsibility? Let’s hope so because they need to! 

I checked in with Kristen Monday night when I landed in Minneapolis. All was calm and everyone was tucked in and sleeping away.

My Tuesday was rushed in visiting with all of my fellow co-workers at YouthWorks, meetings, the normal. Then I got a call from a weird 619 number. I let it go to voice mail but quickly checked it. It said, “Mr. McLane, this is the nurse at Darnall Elementary School. We have Paul here in the office and he’s been injured on the playground. We’ll need you to come get him as soon as possible. Please call us right away.”

My heart leapt and sank at the same time. My instinct told me to grab my keys and go get him. But my reality was that I’m a 4 day drive away. I quickly connected with Kristen, who was dashing to get him.

He had broken his arm in an accident on the playground. Our first ER trip as parents and I missed it.

Kristen and I exchanged a hundred text messages while they were at the ER. Paul and Amy, dear friends, came to the rescue and took Megan and Jackson for the afternoon. While Paul waited nearly 3 hours to get an x-ray and a cast… I wasn’t there. 

It seems like this always happens. Important things happen when daddy is out-of-town. Last year, Kristen was rear-ended while I was on a trip to Washington state. I’ve missed kids losing teeth. Or winning an award at school. Or epic small group nights with major breakthroughs. Doctors appointments when Kristen was pregnant. Bed times, quiet times, crazy times, thrills, spills, shrills, and the immediate stills of realizing it’d all be OK.

When daddy is away stuff happens. Life doesn’t stop at home. It’s inevitable. And it kills me. And while I know Kristen is a trooper/super power mom/amazingly strong woman who can handle it all I want to be there, with her, when these things happen. I want to be there.

What does this have to do with you?

Our Heavenly Father is the same way. While He never leaves us sometimes we go far from Him. And life moves on. Stuff happens, chaos reigns, victories occur, and sometimes bones break. For every bed time, quiet time, crazy time, thrills, spills, shrills, and the immediate stills of realizing it’ll all be OK– Our Heavenly Father wants the intimacy of sharing those moments with us.

His heart breaks for His children when they are away from Him. He wants to be there.

Maybe it’s time for you to come home? 

So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:20

I’m going home tomorrow to Kristen and the kids. But maybe today you need to go home and be with your Father? 

A few highlights and posts from around McLaneland.

Summer Garden Tour

Learn more about our garden at OurGreenFarm.com

Jackson is Four Months Old

Check out pictures and stuff at JacksonMcLane.com

The McLane Creative Blog is Growing

Here’s a few posts you might find interesting

Connect with my techie, nerd stuff over at McLane Creative

T-Shirt ideas and more…

Check out my Flickr page for more random stuff

That’s it! Random news from McLaneland.

I’ve got a redesign for the blog coming in a couple weeks. You won’t want to miss that.

Ever heard the phrase “You are what you eat?“

It’s true. Your body is literally composed of all the stuff you eat. Don’t think about that too much, because it’s gross.

It’s amazing that people want to have a relationship with their pastor, their doctor, the person who cuts their hair, or even the person who delivers our mail. But the person who grows the fruits, vegetables, dairy, or meats our families consume?

We don’t want to know them. We wouldn’t even like to meet the people who deliver food from the distributor to our grocery store. We are completely relationally disassociated and disconnected with one of the most intimate things about us… our food.

If you are what you eat and you don’t know the people where your food comes from– You probably need to take 4-5 hours and watch some of the amazing documentaries that have come out in the past decade about our food system. You’ll see they at the molecular level most of what you eat is genetically modified corn filler, pesticides, herbicides, antibiotics, and other chemicals designed to kill pests on the farm. It’s scary.

Kristen and I decided 2 years ago that we wanted to know where our food came from. Starting in 2010, we made a commitment that 25% of our food budget would go to food we have a relationship with. So we planted a garden. Next, we joined a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) program. Finally, we committed to going to a local farmers market bi-weekly. (Not only to look, smell, and sample– But to buy and support!)

That’s when we met the Rodriguez family of Escindido and their farm, JR Organics. Joe, Jr. and his wife Joan E are fourth generation farmers in Southern California. Their 80 acre farm in north San Diego county employs their family and about 10 others. We know this because we’ve taken the time to get to know them.

Yesterday, our family went to our second farm tour on their property. It’s one thing to go and get our box full of fruits and veggies but it’s entirely another thing to go to their farm and see how things get into those boxes. Who are the people who do the work? What makes something organic? What is the science involved? What techniques are they innovating?

The day at the farm is amazing. It’s fun to meet people who, like you, are members of the CSA. And it’s fun that they have a tour just for kids and to see them running around the paths between fields in ways children have played for millennia. And, of course, the monster feast they put on is a wonderful reward. It’s one of those days we put on our calendar and circle three times: We wouldn’t miss it.

Now that we’ve known the Rodriguez family for two years and done business with them, here are two things that strike me:

First, their values and hearts are in the right place. They absolutely want (and need to) make money at farming. But their values also shine through in how they make money, how they treat their employees, and especially how they care for their farm. Values and heart pour from everything they do. That’s evident when we pick up our box, eat the food they produce, and it’s on display when we visit their farm.

Second, Joe is off the charts intelligent. Listening to Joe, Jr. give the tour yesterday was an absolute clinic in soft innovation. While Joe doesn’t have a PhD in agricultural science he has a PhD in his land and how to work it and that’s far more valuable to him. Joe knows that how he farms directly impacts his bottom line. (And that how he farms becomes the marketing for his farm.) But he also has to deal with market conditions, the weather, bugs and other pests, and the ever-changing standards of remaining an organic farm. As families listened to his presentation and walked his property yesterday they had no idea how much work, discovery, and science went behind each of the things they nodded their heads to.

Here’s my encouragement– get to know where your food comes from. The net results in our family have been astounding. Sure, we are all eating more healthy. But we are also more aware of the people who produce our food and see how our relationship directly impacts them.

Tips for getting started

• Grow something, anything. Even if you don’t have room for a garden you can grow something to eat. Maybe it’s a tomato plant in a 5 gallon bucket on your balcony? Or maybe its a square foot garden on your patio?
• Slice off a piece of your overall food budget for locally produced foods. Our CSA membership costs about $800 per year. You spend it in chunks so it feels like you’re spending more. But, in truth, our overall grocery bills are down.
• Learn to eat what is in season, not what you see on TV. This has been a fun lesson for our family. We eat what is growing. So we eat lots of citrus when our trees ripen in January, lots of leafy greens all winter, and pig out on tomatoes, cucumbers, and strawberries all summer. And we’ve even had to learn how to cook/enjoy things we never would have purchased in the grocery store. All great things!

What does this have anything to do with my life with Jesus? Everything.

Notes:

• Find a farmers market in your area.
• Find a Community Supported Agriculture farm in your area, they are there if you look.
• Documentaries to watch: Food, Inc; King Corn; The Future of Food; Fresh.

“The reason I hate church is that you pay attention to everyone else there but us.” ~ Megan, age 7

Those words rattled my soul. I’d rather have gotten cold-cocked by Mike Tyson in a bar fight than heard those words. That’s when I knew that things had to drastically change in how both how I related to my family and serving the church.

Every time I volunteered somewhere or went to a meeting it lead to fights with the kids. “You don’t love us you only love stuff at church!”

Their anger lead to my tears.

Here’s what I wrote last October in a post, “When your kids hate church“:

Yesterday, I sat in the car with a child who refused to participate. Not all Sunday’s are like that. But sometimes the feet literally stop moving and the tears start flowing. It’s hard to look in your child’s eyes and see them tearfully say “please don’t make me go,” and then force them to go.

I can’t stomach it. That is, clearly, not the type of relational connection I want my children to have with Jesus.

Read the rest

That post lead to an impossible number of conversations with friends in ministry. By sharing my pain and acknowledging that one of my darkest fears had become my reality I connected with others who serve in full-time ministry and find themselves in similar situations.

Of all of those conversations I had a single phrase spoken stuck out to me. Paraphrasing what she said, I’ve probably added to it: (not accusing just thinking out loud)

“I wonder if you’ve laid your children on the alter of your own ideals and put them into impossible situations? They go to a school you have chosen for them which meets all of your ideals for living in the city, they go to a church you have chosen for them meeting the ideals for you living in the city. They walk a mile in your shoes every day and never get a break.”

Dear Jesus, this was true. It cut past the niceties right to the bone.

So we made some changes. Kristen and I have worked on it. And, on our road to recovery, we have seen some moments when our kids love Jesus and His church. Last night was one of those moments as Paul brought his Bible and a little devotional thing from church to do as a bedtime activity with mom. That totally made me cry!

Some other waypoints on this path have included…

• Praying with and for our kids.
• Inviting them in to freely sit in on stuff we are doing and to ask questions. Usually, this has been Megan.
• Putting our family as the priority over our beloved community group when Jackson was born. (We’ll rejoin them this Fall)
• Being joyful as we made a transition from one congregation to another, in part, based on their feedback.
• Experiencing Lent together seemed like a turning point. (Kinesthetic learning is perfect for them)
• Awana, as much as I’ve lamented about it for years as a leader, has been a gift to them as they’ve gotten more familiar with the Bible and how to use it. (A free date night each week for mom/dad has been good for our marriage as a bi-product!)
• Moments with each kid when they said, “Daddy, remember when you were in charge of that stuff at church? I liked it when you did that. It would be fun for you to do that again. You were good at it. I miss that.“
• Eagerly signing up and bugging us about details of summer fun camp.

Like any hurt or injury it’s a long process. The quote above is from 2008– we’ve been at this for 1/3 of her life. We haven’t arrived and we still have some very difficult things to work through. And I don’t know if they will ever love the Bride of Christ like I do. But I’m happy to see progress.

It brings me deep joy to begin to see how Jesus is bridging the gap and building a relationship with my children in a way that isn’t forced, coerced, or built on expectations from mom or dad.

O, what a day that will be!