“Why don’t I just take off my pants? This is getting ridiculous.”

These words rank right up there with some of the dumbest things I’ve ever said. I’d lost my cool and was about to pay the price with even more frustration.

It was November 12th, 2001. I’d just completed a 6-day trip to Germany to speak at a retreat for high school students on an American military base. I’d spoken 11 times in those 6 days, slept on couches and in sleeping bags, fought through a flu, and was completely exhausted and ready to go home.

What I didn’t know was that as I was checking in for my flight that morning from Frankfurt to Chicago, 260 people had just lost their lives in an accident over Rockaway, New York. Initial suspicions were that this was a terrorist act.

“Sir, since the time you acquired this bag, has it ever left your possession?”

“I’ve had it about 3 years. I’ve let some friends borrow it in that time. But I packed it myself last night.”

The American Airlines employee at the counter didn’t speak English very well. I couldn’t place her accent, but it was clear she was from Eastern Europe and not Germany.

She asked again, “Sir, at any time since you’ve acquired this bag, has it ever left your possession?”

“Yes, I’ve had it for 3 years. Of course it has left my possession. Do you speak German?”

She asked me in German. Honestly, it was just as oddly phrased in German as it was in English, the verbs were all out of order. Her German was just as bad as her English. With my travelers smile,  I tried to explain the same thing. I’d owned it for 3 years, during that time friends had borrowed it, but during this trip it had always been in my possession. I packed it myself.

Wrong answer. Too many tries. She took my ticket and my passport and walked away.

She came back with an armed man in a uniform. Awesome. It was going to be that kind of day. For some reason I always have problems at Frankfurt airport.

20 minutes later, with my large internal frame backpack completely dismantled, the man in the uniform was finally satisfied that I was just a tourist in bad need of doing his laundry and not someone too dangerous to fly. And the airline employee gently handed me my boarding pass and passport.

You could feel the tension walking through the terminal that morning. I had no idea that a plane had crashed. All of the TVs had mysteriously been turned off and there were security personnel everywhere. While I was starving and hoping for a final dose of German coffee and some pastries before flying home, all of the shops were closed. I guess I assumed it was a holiday or something.

So I went through security. The line was painfully slow. I was randomly selected for a secondary screening where another armed security guard went through my carry-on… like 20 minutes after it had just been searched.

Then, about 200 yards after going through security, they had set-up another checkpoint. This one manned exclusively by armed security guards. There wasn’t anything you could have done between the two security checkpoints. All of the shops were closed. And even the bathroom doors were locked. So we went through security a second time. (By this time, some of my fellow travelers had gotten calls from home, and we were all talking about what had happened in New York.) Just like the first time, I was randomly selected to go through secondary screening.

Then, I walked the rest of the way through the airport– eerily quiet and empty– to my boarding area just to go through security a third time outside of the gate. And it was at the third time that those famous words popped out of my mouth. Waiting in line to have my stuff searched for the fourth time in an hour, I’d lost my cool, and I kind of was serious about taking my clothes off. What else could they possibly find that hadn’t been checked already?

Checkpoints

In our jobs, marriages, and our faith, we each encounter these checkpoints all the time. We encounter a simple quandary: Are you in or are you out? In almost every instance this is a private, internal choice. We rarely are asked to verbalize these checkpoint decisions. Often our body, actions, and assumption carry us forward even if we are one-step-closer or one-step-further away from our faithfulness to the task at hand as a result of these checkpoints.

Sometimes these checkpoints occur rapidly and sometimes they occur gradually. But if you think about it you experience hundreds of these in hundreds of categories each day.

But sometimes we need to verbalize big decisions. We are getting married. We are changing careers. Or we are walking away from our faith.

Those decisions seem huge– even brash. As friends, we encourage friends to slow down, to not rush into it, and to consider other options without really realizing that there have been hundreds of smaller decisions which brought them to this space.

As a leader, boss, or friend you’ll never see the hundreds of checkpoints leading to a decision where they’ve stepped away. Checkpoint-by-checkpoint they’ve made small decision after small decision which leads to a logical conclusion. As they stand at the next checkpoint they think…  I just don’t want to do this anymore. So they don’t.

Conversely, when we force a decision on people who aren’t ready we are making it easy for them to say no. Think about being asked to buy a car or house or get engaged or become best friends or even giving your life to Jesus too soon?

It might be where you are headed, but if it’s too many checkpoints too soon, most people will opt out. And along the way you’ve added a whole lot more checkpoints which move them backwards when your hope is to move them forward.

 Photo credit: Richard Lemarchand via Flickr (Creative Commons) 

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There are three kinds of dreamers.

1. Dreamers who go for it.
2. Dreamers who love their dreams but keep them in the five inches between their ears.
3. Dreamers who live in regret of dreams unfulfilled.

The only difference between the first one and the other two? The first person is dumb enough to go for it. 

• Put the crash helment on.
• Skip the days off.
• Ignore your critics.
• Dip into savings.
• Forget looking stupid.
• Tell your boss to stick it.

Put your hands in the air, like you just don’t care, and boogie.

We have objectified the accumulation of facts and ideas. Likewise, we have marginalized the importance of applying learning to our everyday lives.

Like any objectification, this endless accumulation of information is deeply rooted in a perversion.

Dozens of times per week people suggest books I ought to read or movies I need to see or hour-long sermons I need to hear. And I think… when am I supposed to do all of this reading or watching? And what am I supposed to do with all of that?

And let’s say I read that book or watch that movie or listen to that sermon? Doesn’t James say that if I learn something and don’t do anything with it… I’m a fool?

“Readers are lifelong learners.” I’ve heard that my entire life. If we are talking about educational material or books that you’ll actually apply to your life right now, I can give you a nod there. 100% agreed.

But reading for the sake of reading is just entertainment. It’s of the same value as watching TMZ or playing video games or something else you do to relax alone. It’s just that reading books carries a stigma of being “smart” while playing 6 hours of Madden 2012 carries a stigma of wasting time.

But acquiring information for the sake of acquiring information without any intent to do something with it? I just don’t think that’s healthy.

Want to know what’s really important? Doing something. Want to know what will really change you? Get involved in something local. Want to be an expert on something? Give up the learner posture for a posture of try-er. Want to honor your pastor? Don’t just take notes– do something. Want to make the most of all that money you spent on college? Give up the acquisition of information and lean into the application of what  you know.

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Romans 7:14-20

Saturday? How did you get here again? I did great on Monday and Tuesday, went to bed with most of my todo list under control Tuesday night and I wake up and it’s Saturday again? 

Paul captures my week so well. Though, I can’t say my issue was a particular sin. More like, a whole lot of good stuff got in the way of what I needed to do this week.

And so it’s Saturday. Here we go again. Next weeks tasks are looming over my head while last weeks tasks remain mostly undone.

Deadlines. Expectations. Obligations. Hopes. Friendships. Promises. Emails. Reminders. Push notifications. Ra-ah!  

I know what I wanted to do last week and I know what I needed to do. But I did what I did and not what I needed to do and now I’m stuck needing to do what I don’t want to do, work through the weekend to catch-up.

But when I do that– who pays the price? Not the ones who deserve to pay that price. (My family.) So I don’t do it and I’ll just deal with being behind on Monday.

Welcome to my world.

Can you feel me? 

This is the best rice commercial in the history of the world.

Reminds me of this story. And I think it even sheds some illumination on the father in Luke’s story.

Yes, the son returned home. Yes, the son had done wrong.

But the father’s heart had changed, too.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve gone. It doesn’t matter what pig pen you’re eating from. It doesn’t matter what bed you find yourself sleeping in. The loving-kindness of your Dad is always ready to partner with you and start over.

You might not be able to go home to your real dad. But you can always come Home.

Sometimes I sit in church with the realization that for a lot of folks they think this is the center point of their walk with Jesus. As if, somehow, the fulcrum of the Christian life is attending a worship service?

We’ve been raised (Christian language: Discipled) to make church that “can’t miss” thing of the Christian walk. In evangelicalism, the practical disciplines of the spiritual life are:

• Go to church
• Regular Bible reading
• Daily prayer

If you want bonus points:

• Join a small group
• Serve in a ministry of the church

Don’t get me wrong. I do most of those things on a regular basis. And these are very good expressions of the Christian life.

But these are the peripherals of the Christian life, not the fulcrum.

The church is not the centerpiece of your walk with Jesus. That’s idolatry.

You can’t sit in church and say… “YES! This is it.” Attending church (passive action) isn’t it anymore than watching football on TV is the same as playing in the game. (active participation) Jesus didn’t come so you could go to church. He didn’t tear the veil between Levites and the people so you could watch church. That’s a foundational misunderstanding in the person and action of Christ.

Your load... is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. That’s so much more than church involvement, reading your Bible, praying, being in a small group, and serving in the church. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but they are too cheap and easy to be “it.”

What Jesus describes is all encompassing. Like two lovers in the first 90 days of their relationship! 

Your output… is to love your neighbor as yourself. The output of your walk with Jesus can’t just be church involvement. It’s can’t be about you and your learning. It can’t be about serving at the church. That’s not what Jesus said was the output.

According to Mark 12, the output of loving God with everything is loving your neighbors. (You know, the people next door.)

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:27-31

There’s nothing quite as invigorating as a deep breath of fresh air. 

As a kid I was highly allergic to cats. When I visited someone’s home who had cats my eyes would itch immediately. Then the wheezing would begin. The final step was a very labored, forced filling of my lungs, which always resulted in a trip to the emergency room for some time on the oxygen mask and a few shots.

In most cases I could relieve all of the symptoms of my allergic reaction just by stepping outside. As the fresh air filled my lungs and washed over my eyes I was renewed. The wheezing faded. The itching subsided. Slowly I felt normal again.

While I’m no longer allergic to cats I still experience the same renewal when I am in the presence of people who provide me fresh air. When life has me wheezing and my eyes watering from irritation– even 15 minutes with a person who breathes fresh air into my life is life changing– alleviating the symptoms of whatever allergy life delivers.

I’ve found that there are four types of people who breathe fresh air into others…

1. The Cold Crisp Reality – When someone splashes water into my face with the reality I need to hear, I’m thankful. I’ve been in leadership long enough to appreciate when people take off the nice filter and tell me what’s really on their mind. Too often, I’m in the position of trainer and not learner. Trust me, the cold crisp reality is far more refreshing than a fistful of niceties.
2. The Salty Truth – I have some people in my life who love to speak truth with a little salt in the air. Well beyond shock jock quality, their borderline cynicism moves me into deeper and deeper understanding. Here’s the thing about salt. Without salt a lot of life would lack flavor.
3. The Dry Facts – This is different than a cold crisp reality because it is usually an examination of the data. While not exciting, much of life has data points which I both learn from and find refreshing.
4. The Calm New Morning Mist – The experience of stepping out of your home into the freshness of a morning is instantly spiritual as my sleep renewed body conjoins with the dew filled renewal of dawn. Likewise, when calm refreshing still-quiet voices speak words of kindness into me my soul is renewed.

Photo credits: (Creative Commons) Morning Dew – Eva Ekebald; Talk to the Paw! – Laura O’Halloran

In sports, playing up is a core skill to improving your game. 

I remember as a student at Moody Bible Institute, watching scrub players play pick-up basketball with visiting NBA players. The scrub played better basketball because of the NBA players. They made shots they didn’t normally make. They played better defense. They saw the court better. When playing with 2 NBA players on their team they looked like a Division 1 ball player.

A few years ago I volunteered at a PGA Tour event. I kept score for the Pro-Am and watched a single PGA Tour player make the rest of his foursome better. (One guy went -8, 64!) They drained putts from 30 feet. They made smart decisions when their ball ended up in trouble. And they all were surprised by their scores. The PGA Tour player pulled the guy who shot 64 and told him to try to qualify for the Tour.

Even as a high school coach I always wanted my freshmen and JV players to play up against the varsity any time I could. And we intentionally pitted our league champion golf team against the best teams in the state knowing they would likely get beat. Why? Because even if they lost it would make them better players.

When you play with better competition your own game will always elevate.

Rise and shine

Here’s the deal. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living– you need to play up to improve your game. 

I learned the power of this a long time ago and it’s paid of for me over and over again.

Want to be a better writer? Play up.

Want to be a better designer? Play up.

Want to be a better speaker? Play up.

Want to be a better husband? Er, don’t play up there. Love your wife.

As a high school golf coach sometimes you have to help your students make major changes to their golf game in order for them to improve. 

Young, gifted, long-hitting golfers typically have a lot natural talent but have habitual bad technique. Maybe they are so flexible and have such amazing hand-eye coordination from baseball that they don’t have to take the club back at a consistent angle or keep their plant foot steady because they can instinctively make those corrections without even thinking about it at 115 miles per hour. By hitting thousands of balls on the range they have learned bad ways to hit the ball far. And their game is built on bad technique.

Those bad habits have lead to them to hit the ball a million miles in every direction. But that distance matters so much that they are far better than their peers with better technique.

The most common change you have to make is to the grip. Most typically young (right-handed) golfers have a strong right hand. (The left hand in the correct position, but the right hand is completely under the club, nearly useless on the backswing.) This allows most of their power to come from a strong left hand and the right hand whipping the club forward at the last second to generate maximum power and spin.

As a result, they make the golf team on power, raw talent, and likely a decent touch around the green. And a very good freshmen will make the JV squad or even the varsity squad on this raw talent because they can muscle their way around the golf course.

But as a coach you know that the strong right hand won’t take them consistently near par– a score which will secure them at the top level of the varsity. For 9 holes they might make it to the low 40s or the occasional 39. But to get down closer to par they are going to have to hit it straight more often and with a strong grip that will be impossible.

So, in the middle of an active season their freshmen or sophomore year, you need to start working on their grip for their junior and senior year.

It’s frustrating for the golfer because the change means they are less competitive. Their scores go from the low 40s to the high 40s or even into the 50s. (Scores they likely haven’t seen since 6th grade) They lose distance as they start swinging the club on a better plain, at a better angle, and the swing feels much less violent. The ball ends up places on the course they’ve never been before.

Frustration sets in.

And they start losing matches. Maybe falling from top of the JV squad down to the the freshmen team. Players they know they are more talented than start beating them.

It’s a test of their self-discipline.

A grip or a swing change can take months of practice to master before it starts to pay off. It can take a lot longer if the golfer lets old habits sneak in to remain competitive. In front of the coach or on the range they will hold the club properly. But when they need to tee off on a par 5 they will switch the grip to try to power it down the fairway… and wild things begin to happen because they don’t feel natural in that swing anymore either.

It might seem like a little thing but if you make a dramatic grip change you have to concentrate just to hit the ball squarely. I’ve even seen players completely whiff when you first introduce the change. What used to be instinctive and feel completely natural now feels completely foreign.

As the coach you have to constantly encourage them during this change. “It will pay off. Don’t let old habits sneak in. It will feel more natural if you keep practicing it. You’ll be a better player if you stick to it.”

What you learn as a coach is that the difference between being good enough to make the team and good enough to make the all-conference team isn’t just talent. It’s the ability to practice correctly, stick to making hard changes, and to be coachable through those changes in order to realize your potential.

Life is the same way

A lot of my success has come because of bad habits. But, just like a young golfer, I’ve had to learn that those bad habits have plateaus for my success. I can be successful to-a-point with the talents I have. The hard reality is that most of my long-term success hasn’t just come from bad habits or talent– it’s come from working hard to get past bad habits, and intentionally taking some steps back in order to learn the skills and techniques to go 3 steps ahead.

The same is true for you. The habits and skills you have today will only lead you to the success you know. In order to succeed further you’ll need to correct bad habits, rely less on talent and more on proven techniques. Most importantly you’ll need to remain coachable.

Just like in golf, success is a mental game. You’ll need to push through the frustration of taking a step backwards in order to take 3 steps forward.

Photo by MyEyeSees via Flickr (Creative Commons)

I’ll never forget the first time I rode a horse. 

Growing up in the city meant that horses just weren’t part of my life. I remember seeing horses as a kid at parades. At the county fair in the horse barns. Or occasionally at big football game when the police brought in horses for crowd control.

And I wasn’t one of those city slickers who dreamed of the open range wrangling up some cows.

I was 19 years old the first time I rode a horse. And I rode a horse because I had to for a college class.

It was an intimidating experience. This animal was 10 times bigger than me. It was taller than me. And it was infinitely stronger than me. Somehow I was supposed to sit on it and “control” it with a tiny piece of leather and some kicks?

Yeah, right.

The horse I rode could have cared less that I existed. It was an old camp trail horse who had seen a million riders over a million years and barely even acknowledged my existence. It was one of those horses that you could tell used to be big, strong, and attractive in its youth but now its best description would be, “tired.”

Before I put my foot in the stirrups I tried to get to know him and pat him on the head. He just took a leak and looked away.

I wish I could describe the experience as enjoyable. It wasn’t. It was uncomfortable and bumpy and I felt completely stupid on the horse. It didn’t seem to matter what I “told” the horse to do as it just walked the trail. When it got behind it trotted up ahead to catch up with its friends. Whenever it wanted to– it stopped to eat grass. And when it was done with me it used trees and branches to try to knock me off its back.

To make matter worse everyone else seemed to be having a great time. All I felt like was kicked in the gonads 200 times. I tried to make the best of it but it just wasn’t fun and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Standing in the barn after the trail ride I asked the person who ran the trail rides why I hated it so much. She just kind of laughed. “Probably because you fought the horse the whole time. And probably because you were scared. It would have been fun if you’d just held on tight and relaxed.”

That’s a lot like my relationship with God

When it’s unpleasant, when I’m scared, when I’m intimidated, and when I’m trying to be in control… walking with God is like getting kicked in the gonads 200 times.

Often times God just wants us to hold onto the reigns real tight and relax.

 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 
   neither are your ways my ways,” 
            declares the LORD. 
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, 
   so are my ways higher than your ways 
   and my thoughts than your thoughts. 
As the rain and the snow 
   come down from heaven, 
and do not return to it 
   without watering the earth 
and making it bud and flourish, 
   so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, 
so is my word that goes out from my mouth: 
   It will not return to me empty, 
but will accomplish what I desire 
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 

Isaiah 55:8-11