As someone with an “A” name I get a fair number of butt calls. What is a butt call? A butt call happens when someone forgets to lock the keypad on their phone and unintentionally calls someone when the phone is placed into a pocket, jacket, purse, or the like. Since “Adam” happens to land as the first contact on a lot of people’s phones I tend to get a lot of these.

It’s happened three times in the past 24 hours. I find it comes and goes. Typically, it’ll happen with the same person in a string… especially when someone gets a new phone.

Most often I screen my calls. (Especially if someone is a notorious butt caller. You know who you are.) So this means I end up with lengthy and fun voice mail. They sound a lot like testimony tapes from an FBI wiretap. Muffled, unclear, scratchy. They sound a lot like the Watergate tapes. Almost all of the time I listen for about 5 seconds and then delete it. But lately I’ve been thinking it would be fun to remix them or mash them up into a dance mix.

What is the proper etiquette when you discover you have butt called someone?

1. Ignore the problem. It really isn’t a big deal. People like me are used to it. Think of me as your accountability partner.

2. Apologize. If you know you were probably talking mad crap about the person when you butt called them, you might want to clean up that mess. Chances are they have saved that message.

3. Fix the problem. Every single cell phone has a screen lock. Get used to using it. Check your cell phone bill. If your pocket has been calling the same person 4-5 times per day you can fix this problem by modifying your behavior. Make the first contact on your phone “911″ and I guarantee you’ll get used to using the screen lock by the time the paramedics leave your house for the third false alarm.

4. Talk louder. If your purse is going to call me, speak up for crying out loud so I can mock you better! If you are in your car and you want to crank up some REO Speedwagon while your pocket calls someone… you’ve got to make it more entertaining. Sing loudly in your car.

• June 8, 2008 — How Safe are Mobile Phones? (1)
• July 2, 2009 — Beat up by my elderly neighbor (1)

How To Fart In Public –

HT to an unnamed co-worker

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Gregory McCalium, 24, was left with severe facial wounds after the knife-wielding thug attempted to rob his elderly neighbor in tBotley near Oxford, England, Britain’s SkyNews reported. The would-be burglar broke into the home of Frank Corti last Aug. 19 – without realizing the 72-year-old was a retired boxer.

A mug shot released by the Thames Valley Police reveals the results after Corti disarmed his attacker, let loose with two punches to the face and restrained McCalium until the police arrived on the scene.

On Tuesday, McCalium was sentenced to a 4 1/2-year sentence for the crime. link

Please tell me this will be made into a movie? Rocky 10?

HT to Boing Boing

• July 4, 2009 — Butt Call Etiquette (1)
• May 9, 2009 — 10 Things to Do in the Holy Land: Pope Edition (0)

• April 28, 2009 — The Double Edged Sword of Awe (1)
• March 29, 2009 — Unreal Soccer Skills (1)

There are two sides to every coin, aren’t there? I’ve had this post stuck in my head for several weeks– and I think the illustration says it all.

Church leaders: Complacency sneaks in. We surround ourselves with people who go to church. We spend a lot of our time at the church. Our perspective becomes that the community revolves around activities at the church. Pretty soon we become ambivelent about the neighborhood we live in. Our schedule is defined on what’s convenient to those who come to church. Our agenda becomes to serve them.

We perceive our ministry as a “city on a hill” when in fact the people living in our neighborhood are completely unaware of our existence. Before we know it, we are so comfortable with our programs, budgets, staff, and people who come to church we forget reality.

The reality is that in most communities about 5% of the population attends a church. And yet we are comforable with that. Go ahead do the math yourself. Spend 30 minutes calling every church in your community and get actual attendence numbers. Next, simply divide that number by the population of your community. In most places that number is 5% or less of people who attend church on any given weekend. And we all know that just because someone attends church on Sunday doesn’t mean they are Christians, right?

Why not take some time to get to know how 95% of the population views your church? Think of it like this. Count the next 20 cars that drive past your house. Only the 20th car will attend a church this weekend. In the illustration above there are 18 houses in view of that church. And none of them will attend that church this weekend. If your theology is like mine, you recognize that Jesus died for all 20 of the people in those cars and all 18 of the people who live in those houses. But who is our ministry serving? The 5% who show up. Most of our money and time is spent serving Jesus from the perspective of the 5% and not the 95%.

That perspective should change things. 1 in 20 people will attend church this weekend. Any church. Even that church that is so bad you won’t even meet with the pastor to pray.

I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him. Romans 12:3, The Message

And yet church leaders reassure themselves that numbers don’t matter! This is the state of the church and people say we don’t need to fundamentally change how we do ministry. We worry about offending the 5%. We worry about changing too much too fast while our sworn enemy puts up victory statues all over. We follow leaders who look at this reality, shrug their shoulders, and move on with their lives. We go to denominiational meetings which agree to spend more money on organizations which are smaller every year. In short, we invest all of our time and energy in a broken model.

And then when someone really breaks through. And that community reaches 6% of the population so we flock to hear how they did it? Got a book? Teach a seminar? Our perspective is jacked up, isn’t it?

New leaders are needed. I dream of church leaders coming to the forefront who are drastically interested in the 95%. I long to surround myself with leaders who keep the 5% in perspective. We celebrate those lives changed! But I want to be with men and women who think differently. Where are the leaders who look at those 5% as just the beginning? Where are the people who recognize that a model cannot be built around an individuals talents? Where are the leaders who know they need to start a swarming movement?

Point me to those people. I am tired of those who are satisfied with the failure of 5%.

• June 15, 2009 — What to Say When the Youth Pastor Leaves (26)
• May 20, 2009 — Pushing Back to Find Sanity in Christ (4)

Sidenote: This is a repost. For some reason the post from 6/30/09 disappeared. It may looks as though I deleted 20+ comments from yesterday, but my server ate them. Sorry about that.

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Isn’t it interesting that people who are crazy enough to change the world look absolutely nuts? I suppose that’s a fair assement of an everyday superhero as well? While most sane adults do everything in their power to flee from the presence of sweaty teenagers wondering the streets of Los Angeles, God has created a special group of people who gleefully serve them.

Acts 2 says: (emphasis mine)

That’s when Peter stood up and, backed by the other eleven, spoke out with bold urgency: “Fellow Jews, all of you who are visiting Jerusalem, listen carefully and get this story straight. These people aren’t drunk as some of you suspect. They haven’t had time to get drunk—it’s only nine o’clock in the morning.

People who are faithful, full of the Holy Spirit, and willing to take big risks for the Kingdom of God often look crazy. It’s a good kind of crazy. It’s the kind of nuts that gets me excited.

This past weekend I was able to watch students get a little nuts too. On the first night they were pretty reserved. This is typical of an event as they are excited and into it– but they aren’t quite willing to look nuts just yet. But by Sunday afternoon kids crowd towards the front in order to express their nut-itude. This is the type of memory they can take home with them and memory bank for the next time they feel awkward about their faith.

This weekend was a powerful reminder for me that we need more people who are absolutely out of their mind lunatics for the cause of Christ. Not fired up in a fake way. Not full of nonesense. Just legit willing to do whatever it takes. The world needs people who encounter the Word of God, catch a vision for how God wants them to respond, and are crazy enough to lean into its realities in their everyday life.

• June 15, 2009 — What to Say When the Youth Pastor Leaves (26)
• March 9, 2008 — You Matter to Your Schools (0)

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Sorry for the blog silence. This week I’m in Los Angeles for DCLA. I’m posting all sorts of video and pictures at the DCLA page on Facebook.

• June 29, 2009 — Youth workers are nuts (2)
• June 7, 2009 — Don’t Hurt ‘Em Hammer (1)

Nerdy, but cool!

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