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Top Five August Posts
#3 Where are all the Christian Single Men?
#5 Vision, Goal, and Mission Statements
It always amazes me to see some of these top posts be old posts. But that’s the power of Google. Those who are just learning about blogging would be wise to take some time to figure out how Google indexes things and build their blog/site based on that.
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Photo Post: Padres Game
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- I think he's the 3rd base coach
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- 3rd Base Coach Talks to a Runner
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- Everybody Dance!
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- No idea who this is
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- Synchronized dusting
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- This is the sad part of the picture
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- Full of nachos, lemonaide, and cotton candy the boy is out
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- Down by 5, not sure the urgency
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Where are all the Christian Single Men? Part 2
I’m still thinking about this. And typically I don’t carry on like this. But there were so many good comments that, in my mind, this deserved a follow up post rather than endless comments.
Dave Tucker (that’s my father-in-law everyone else) brings up an interesting wrinkle to this. Technically, in the US there are more baby boys born than girls… slightly. I wonder if it is safe to assume that slightly more boys die in childhood and adolescence since boys like to jump off things and work on more farms and stuff. But, by and large, roughly the same amount of boys and girls make it to an age where they should be looking for a spouse.
That still leaves a mighty problem though. I’ve got 20-30 single women in my life who are looking for a Christian man. Preferably, one with a job, doesn’t live with mommy, showers more than once per week, and is more interested in holding onto them than an XBox 360 controller.
Dave Luke brought up a good idea, maybe these women should expatriate for their 20’s to meet a nice NorIrish boy. Since most women I know love an Irish accent this isn’t a bad idea. And all that stuff about Irish men being drunkards, violent to their spouses, and a few other stereotypes is just plain untrue.
(At least in the Christian community in Northern Ireland.) The problem with that idea is that it’s pretty difficult to get a visa into the United Kingdom with “looking for a man” as the reason for moving over there. Plus, the standard of living over there is so high they’d have to get married there and then immediately move to Michigan where it is cheap enough to live. (And we know NorIrish can’t say “Michigan.”
So, single women in my life looking for a nice Christian man to date and maybe one day enjoy Song of Solomon benefits… I have 3 bits of sage advice for you.
Sage advice #1 Think about wearing game controllers. Either wear it as an accessory, or keep one in your purse. Occasionally taking it out, making eye contact with a cute Christian man, and hiding it again will send the message. Thanks to Sara for this advice. Get your se-xbox gear here.
Sage advice #2 Go to Bible college, Christian college, or anywhere else that harbors young men in an environment where video games aren’t allowed. This way you have them trapped. They will naturally follow their God-designed ways to seek after you when these “pseudo-women” have been removed. If college is too long or expensive, get a job at a Christian camp. They lock away men there too with no video games. But don’t get confused, while prisons do have men locked away without video games those men typically aren’t eligible for parole for a while.
Sage advice #3 Be Blunt. Let’s face it, most men are not that bright when it comes to figuring out woman-folk. In fact, that may be why guys like video games so much… they can figure it out. And if they can’t… they have the ability to make it stop until they have the energy to try again. So if you find a “humanous male-ocous Christiani” just let him know… pay attention to me, love me, treat me right, and I’ll be better than your best friend forever.
Christian Women Aren’t to Blame for the Shortage!
I just thought I’d put that out there as something obvious. It’s not that the Christian women in my life caused this problem. And I don’t think it’s a cultural thing we should just get used to. I think, as Adam R mentioned in his comment… guys need to be taught how to be men. And that means that the men in my life (including myself) need to make sure we continue to mentor young men past high school and into college. We need to force them to grow up. We need to help their parents see that babying them hurts everyone. We need to tell their moms that their boys aren’t their husbands… that their role is to raise a man, not substitute a husband. (This is a large problem, in my opinion.) We need to teach dads that their role is to raise a man, not get them into college so they can act like a boy 4 more years.
And we need to remind men over and over again that they will be irresistible to women when they take care of themselves, fall madly in love with Jesus, live on their own, make their own money, and treat women with respect.
On second thought, it’s just easier to move to Northern Ireland.
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Finding stuff, missing stuff
It seems like every time we move there are a couple items that you find that you think you lost and visa versa. And the one or two things you lose drive you nuts that you’ve lost them.
For this move the main thing we can’t find is our SD card reader. It’s really not a big deal and it’s only a $5 item to lose, but it’s driving us crazy that we’ve somehow misplaced it. Both Kristen and I know that as soon as we replace it with a new one we’ll find the old one.
Paul told me yesterday that the main thing he misses from our old house is our couch. When I asked him why he said, “Because I could jump on it. And the new one isn’t comfortable to lay down on.”
Now that I think about it we’ve not found anything we were missing while in Romeo. It’s more like we keep finding things and thinking “where in the world is this going to go?“
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Chimps Beat Humans
If you like geek, you’ll like this.
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Where are all the Christian single men?
I was starting to wonder if this was just a Romeo phenomenon. But here’s the deal. For every eligible single Christian man I meet there seem to be 20 eligible women.
Seriously, Kristen and I talk about this all the time. In Romeo, our church had two bucket loads of intelligent, attractive, active, spiritual, employed, never imprisoned, not desperate, and eligible single women. We would scratch our heads and wonder… what’s going on here? Where are all the dudes? It would seem like a church with that many single women would attract single men but it never seemed to work that way.
Then we moved to San Diego to discover the same thing! Here’s where I’m going with this. Is it that there are no single men? Or is it that there are single boys who are the age of men? I think the latter.
Equal numerically
Having been in youth ministry for a while I can honestly say that it was never disproportionately female in high school. There were always, roughly, the same number of guys as girls. So I know there are Christian men out there.
And I know that in a church environment, especially a small church environment, men and women who grew up going to the same church look at one another more as siblings than as dateabl. I get that.
But seriously, where do all of the guys go when they hit 20?
Put Down the XBox Controller
This just hit me today. It’s not that there are significantly more Christian single women looking for love. It’s that the guys aren’t looking for love. Think about it… they are there on Sunday mornings… they just aren’t interested in love.
Here’s my observation, correct me if I’m wrong: A woman is typically looking for a man who will care about her, put her high on the priority list of his life, work hard to buy her nice things, and love to spend time with her. The men I know in that 20-25 year old category… that’s a great description for their video game system. They care about that, the work to buy nice toys, they put game time high on their priority list, and they love to spend time on XBox Live. For some reason guys miss the whole dating things because they long for a life of playing video games and not working… let me tell you guys, this is not a good singles ad.
SWM addicted to Madden 2009, unemployed and hoping to keep it that way. I shower weekly when my mom reminds me. Looking for knockout super model who loves Jesus and will pay my bills so I can be a pro at Halo 3.
So here’s a little unsolicited advice to the single men in my life. Pack away the controller. Get a job. Sleep at night. Build your relationship with Jesus. Start thinking about things that aren’t connected to a controller. And you’ll be like super hot to the single women at your church.
What’s the reward? Well, unlike video games a woman provides lifelong companionship, fulfillment, someone to hold your hand at movies, deep friendship, completeness… and if you are man enough to marry a woman… there are other benefits as well. I’ll let you read Song of Solomon to figure that out.
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Amen
Christian author Donald Miller closed last night’s DNC in Denver. This is turning into an election where evangelicals are springing from the margins to the limelight in a positive light. No matter where you sit or who you’ll vote for (I’m voting for GW Bush again) I think you can join me in saying “amen” to Donald’s prayer for our nation.
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We’re adjusting
As much as our family is still “homesick” we are finding our way around and slowly getting used to life in the new house.
Yesterday, I left work a little early to help Marko move a couple of things from his house to another YS employees house. It sounds weird, but it reminded me of the types of things I did in Romeo all the time… just friends helping one another.
After that I got home about 6:15 and could tell everyone was bored out of their skull. Since we only have one car… when daddy goes to work the rest of the family is kind of trapped. Since they don’t know anyone and we’re not in walking distance to stuff anymore… they had just chilled at the house all day.
So, I proposed taking Stoney to the beach to watch the sunset. I love the beach and I adore the sunsets as the sun fades into the abyss of the Pacific. So we piled into the car and made it to Ocean Beach’s dog beach just in time to see the sunset. Seriously, we only got there with 30 minutes of daylight left.
Stoney is afraid of the water. I know that’s weird for a Labrador retriever but it’s true. Other than when we were at my mom’s and he jumped in the pool we’ve never seen him swim. I even bought him a kiddie pool for cooling off in Romeo and he would only drink out of it. So taking him to the beach was pretty funny. He loved the sand and he really loved that I could take him off the lead so he could sniff every dog butt in the world. But we couldn’t get him to swim in the ocean.
With all the encouragement the most we ever got Stoney to do was get his feet wet. As the waves gently came on shore he would run back to the dry sand and wait for the set to roll away before coming back to Kristen and I.
We’re thinking that with enough encouragement we can get him to enjoy the water. And since San Diego has 4 dog beaches we are confident this won’t be our last trip to the beach with our trusty dog.
The best part was… this trip was totally free and everyone had a great time. Megan and Paul got to look for shells and mom and dad were reminded again how much we like living here.
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