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adam mclane
Check out this quote.
Dear God,
I was a pastor for 23 years. It killed me. I am not sure I was every called to it. As you know, the overwhelming numbness finally caved in all around me. Now, I am on the outside of the church looking in and I don’t like what I see. Why do we have to be fake to be a Christian or part of a church? How did we buy the lie that showing up occasionally was the same as a relationship with you? Now that I am not a pastor, people are honest with me. I had no idea how hard life was for so many people because when they came on my “turf” they pretended just as much as I did. I feel hope inside God. Now, without the job I feel like you let me go through everything to understand pain. I want to do what I can, but I feel like a failure every day. Can you still use me? link
While I can’t identify with the feeling far from God or having felt fake with God while serving at a church, I can definitely tell that people are more honest with me about their lives now that I don’t work at a church full time. Why is that? Was there something in my title that made me someone you couldn’t speak openly with? Did you feel like I couldn’t help? Did you feel like I didn’t want to know? Were you trying to protect me? Do you think I’d judge you? Not love you? Tell others you were human? Were you looking for an escape when you were around me? Did I project myself as someone who couldn’t understand? Was I above your struggles? Was I intimidating? Was I uncaring? Was I too transparent? Not transparent enough?
The thing is, I’m not done being a church leader… at least I hope not. I just want to know.
HT to Andy
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#1 Goodbye Creepy Guy (here’s why)
#2 Shutting Down Missingmoney.com
#3 3 Lies of Church Growth Experts
#4 $200 Asterisk for the iPhone 3G
#5 Vision, Goal, and Mission Statements
The power of google. That’s why most of those top 5 are there. People are searching for something that brings them here…. welcome! And it’s also worth noting that you’ve helped me get one of the highest vote tally’s at this contest. Thanks for reading this month. I can’t wait to journey the next 30 days of my life. It’s gonna be great.
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It’s a holiday. And a holiday for me means that I tend to get strikingly little done. I may have some big plans for my day… but if I get 1-2 things actually done I’ll be satisfied. Here’s just a data dump of things on my mind.
- I’m definitely taking a bike ride today.
- It was supposed to rain today, but looking at the satellite I don’t think that’s likely.
- I stayed up until 2 AM playing Madden 08 for the Wii. It’s just OK.
- This morning I added a ton of people to my friends list on Facebook. Many of them I don’t know personally but are “fans” of YMX on Facebook.
- It was fun to head out to Metemora State Park last night to hang with the Fisher’s and Brinker’s. Each time we come home Kristen and I vow to take our kids camping. I don’t really know if that will happen or not. But I hope it will
- Everyone is asking us when our house will go on the market. Probably in a few weeks. We have some things we need to do first. We are oddly at peace about the process. We know it’s a good house and are hopeful it will sell at a good price.
- Jimmy was clutch yesterday. I was very pleased with the services over all. I especially liked that he “de-cheesed” the Lee Greenwood song, “God Bless the U.S.A.“
- It was a little weird being my “last day” at Romeo. At the same time, we’re back next week. It’s not like we’re moving right now. The most common question yesterday was, “When do you start your new job?” I start next week and my next trip out west in in a couple weeks.
- I’m shopping for a digital SLR as my wife has broken both our cameras. How do you decide between Nikon and Canon?
- Mellen’s Market (the corner store across the street from us) is closing its doors and going out of business later this week. That’s a total bummer.
- Bonus random thought: Kristen and I are planning to sell our car and buy a new one when we get to San Diego. We are definitely looking for a small/tiny car that gets great mileage. (I may even get a scooter!) High on our list of cars to look into are the Prius and Civic Hybrid. (American cars) We are also considering some Korean made cars and Mexican cars made by Ford and GM. I just had to get that dig in since Romeo people still think that there is a delineation between “American cars” and “Foreign cars.” No one outside of Michigan has used terms like that since the 1980s… but you still hear and see it here on bumper stickers. Let’s translate that… by “foreign car” they really mean “non-union made car.”
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