My heart breaks for those hurt by the church. Specifically, for people called to full-time ministry, but gravely injured by the people they were called to serve.
Hardly a day goes by when I don’t interact with a youth pastor or former youth pastor who was deeply wounded by their church.
The church treated them like a couch. One day they are the centerpiece of the metaphorical living room and the next day they were moved to the curb and left for the garbage truck to pick them up.
When you are called to a church you are applauded publicly. People pray for you. You are brought up front to acknowledge that the leadership feels you have been called to be a central figure in the church. But when they no longer need you? They basically kick you out of community, shame you, and write a small check for your private pain, and pretend you never existed.
While I recognize that there is always another side to their story– it nonetheless paints a vivid picture of what that church really believes.
- You have to behave a certain way or perform to a certain expectation level or we will kick you out.
- When we wrong someone, we cover it up with hush money, and we never ask for forgiveness, even when we are clearly wrong.
- When we wrong someone, we never restore either them or the relationship privately or publicly.
It just leaves me to wonder about the state of the church. We reach less than 10% of the population on a weekly basis. And we don’t think our private institutional sins impact that at all!
It leaves me with three questions to ponder as I begin my work week:
- What does it look like for the institution to seek forgiveness?
- What would it look like if we restored people?
- What do I need to do to seek forgiveness and restoration of both relationship and position in my life?