Last night was the big homecoming game, tailgate party and bonfire. I can only summarize it like this: I have no clue what is going on with Light Force.
On the good side we had all the usual subjects there. They are great and I love being around them. Also good news was the several of the golf team players dropped by to say hi. That was an unexpected blessing. (Odd that things go so well with one area of ministry when they seem so poor with another!) With everyone else I am just left wondering “what the heck is going on?” I know that there is intense social reality that sets in for some of our sophomores-seniors. They are OK with being with you at church and on outings… but stay away from my “real world.” That is classic adolescent dualism which I find so charming! Then there is the reality that “big church” is going worse than ever. Bad attitudes by parents just trickles down. There is yet another dynamic going on that I’m only starting to put my finger on.
I am a sarcastic guy. I mess around with students all the time. I embarrass them and it generally is no big deal. However, we are living in a time where my students are suddenly effected by it. I have no clue what is causing the sudden sensitivity… But students are apparently feeling less and less comfortable with me. This is something I need to work on. “How can I be the me that I like to be and yet reach this group of student right now?” Basically, and briefly, I need to adjust myself to do it. There’s no other choice.
Another little dynamic that’s gone on recently is me having to decide if I really want to be in Romeo. It’s been yet another gut check as things at the church seem to be sliding towards “terrible.” In the last week I’ve had to re-examine my motives and really commit my heart to whether I want to be here or if I’m open to going elsewhere if nothing changes. For right now, I am sold out on the idea that God is working here through me despite the larger problems that are going on. I want to stay in Romeo at this church for as long as possible. What does that mean? I don’t know. It does mean that I have to prepare myself for some impending, sin bathed, poor leadership decisions. It may mean that as the church struggles to pay it’s bill that they cut back on me… Their current biggest bill. But the big thing for me is that I am willing to stand by and take it all if I can only continue to invest in these students. Bottom line. I want to be here in 10 years and am willing to ride the boat no matter where this takes me. That’s a scary proposition for a father of two… But this is my commitment. I wrote a few months ago that this isn’t my life to keep since I’ve already given it away as an act of worship… So be it.
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