Editor’s note: Obviously, today was a stressful day filled with stress. This is a venting place for me. Never meant to be seen by another person. I wouldn’t ever say these things out of respect for the church, my position, and my Boss. These words are merely a response to the stress of my day.
I’ve said this since the very beginning and it remains true today. Working as a pastor in a church is one of the harshest and best environments at the same time. I feel like I have to constantly justify myself daily. I could have worked the day before for 20 hours on countless projects both in support of my ministry and outside of my ministry… But there will always be someone who questions “what is it that you do?”
I don’t desire to be held in super high esteem. I don’t desire to never have my actions questioned or be treated as though I am beyond examination. What I do expect is a certain level of dignity given to me as well as some respect.
Unfortunately, I was reminded again that even leaders in the church do not respect me or the work I do with their children. They seemingly don’t see what I do as “work” and feel the need to say “are you worth the money?” No, I am only worth what others who voted say I am worth for a certain job function. No, I cannot redefine myself to suit the whims of boards or individuals. I am who God has made me.
I swear, it is only by the grace of God and His leading in my life that I don’t look at those people and simply say… You are right. I am a waste of a person. I don’t know what I am here. Since you don’t think it is important, why don’t you just fire me?
Leave a Reply