The Allure of Vanity

It’s interesting to me how many students are caught in the allure of vanity.

allure (uh-loo-r) v.

1.	to attract or tempt by something flattering or desirable.

2.	to fascinate; charm.

Did you catch the root word there? Lure, as in fishing lure, the nice yummy shiny object that makes fish think it’s OK to eat it. But when they bite into it they discover a hook that stabs their mouth, drags them from the world they know, and results in them getting fried up and served for a meal.

Doesn’t sound so exciting anymore, does it? Well vanity is pretty exciting to adolescents… they are like bugs to a bug zapper with it. They almost can’t help themselves. Here are the two most common ones I see in Light Force.

A. Attraction
The fallacy of attraction. This happens in both sexes of the youth
group. A person gets labeled "hot" or otherwise attractive and the
vultures start to swarm. Students, even Christian ones, attribute a
person value to their attractiveness. So, while they may say things
like "it’s important that someone has a good personality" they wouldn’t
dare "like" someone who isn’t attractive. The peer pressure of it is so
strong that all morality goes out the windows. I am amazed that
Christian students judge someone based upon the clothes they wear, what
their friends tell them is attractive, and some crazy list that they
have made up in their minds. Where does God come into the equation?
He doesn’t. I’ve seen student after student give their heart over to
vanity and the result is a student who gives away their relationship
with Jesus for an attractive guy or girl.

The truth of attraction. When you truly fall in love with
someone, it’s amazing how little attraction plays into it. When was the
last time you asked a couple "what is it about your husband that keeps
you with him?" and heard the answer… "Well, he’s hot." The reality is
that physical attraction isn’t really all that important in a
relationship. You aren’t going to be happy if you give away your
relationship with Jesus for someone who is "hot."

Relationships based on what your friends think don’t work either. It
makes me want to puke when a group of girls sits around and lists all
the things they are looking for in a guy. At the end of the day, the
only person acceptable to the group is a person who doesn’t exist. As
an outsider, the funniest part to me is that often times the list that
the group makes doesn’t even fit the group of people. Too often, the
allure of vanity and the lies of attraction force students to create an
inequity. They are looking for things in a partner which they
themselves can’t offer. The guy has to be perfect… but the girl is
full of imperfections. In case after case, in order to get that guy,
the girl is willing to do anything because her friends tell her that he
is perfect… and that isn’t a relationship, it ends up in one person
being used.

Relationships based on attraction and peer influence always end up in
disaster. Think of the relationships in Hollywood. How many times do
people say "They are perfect for each other, look how good they look
together" and a month later they get divorced? The funny thing about
love is, it makes you blind. In your eyes, that person becomes the most
attractive person in the world. Students, deal with reality.

B. Church entertainment

The fallacy of church entertainment. It’s youth ministry’s
fault. About 40 years ago, as the idea of youth ministry was developing
an entertainment method was introduced. In many youth ministries this
is still being used. Why is the church selling entertainment? Well, it
draws a crowd. Dan Spader, the founder of Sonlife, was famous for
saying "It’s a sin to bore a kid with the Gospel." I’ve met Dan and I
know that his statement got taken too far. In actuality, Sonlife never
encouraged the entertainment method… but his famous quote spurred on
what has become a broken model of church life. (Sonlife’s philosophy
and methods are still bearing fruit in church models, that for another
day)

We have had students leave our ministry because they want to be entertained. They
want to go somewhere that is more fun than our little church is
providing. (Yes, point A is there too. I’ve had former students tell me
they are changing churches because we don’t have attractive enough
people.) Understand this, we don’t do entertainment because we chose
not to… not because we can’t afford it. We don’t entertain students
because it’s not going to make a difference. If we changed it slightly
and say "We’re going to draw students to the youth group by having hot
dance parties and serve alcohol" everyone would be in arms and I’d be
on the first train back to Chicago. So, we’ve tried to build Light
Force by meeting students where they are. We want students to be
attracted to our ministry because we are pointing kids to Jesus, not
encouraging vanity.

Of course, this is somewhat related to something that greatly annoys
me. When a student leaves our church over vanity, it hurts me. It lets
me know two things… First, it tells me that I’ve failed to teach the
fullness of why we do youth ministry in the first place. Second, it
tells me that they are walking away from a group of people who poured
their lives into them for the sake of something vain.

The truth of church entertainment. There is an appropriate place
to use entertainment methods to communicate biblical truth. Certainly,
Jesus used the entertainment methods of his day to draw people. And yet
he kept them by meeting their spiritual needs as well. The early church
followed the same model… in essence, we continue on that tradition.

The truth is that if all you are looking for is a good, safe time.
You’d be better of going to the YMCA than your local church. A faith in
Christ isn’t always "a good, safe time." Sometimes a relationship with
Jesus is asking you to do things that aren’t entertaining, isn’t fun,
and can be dangerous. When your faith in Christ is dependent on your
having fun at church… we’ve sold you a broken bill of goods.

Why does this matter? This matters because the allure of vanity is
just as dangerous as a fishing lure. Christians aren’t called to a vain
existence. We are called to take up our cross daily and follow Jesus
wherever he leads us. Christ’s measurements of success aren’t based on
vanity. When we seek to live a life pleasing to Him and Him alone…
vain things like attraction and "the perfect church" won’t matter any
more. Instead, we are free to celebrate who God has made us.