• A fatherless generation

    Check out Chris Brooks thoughts on a fatherless generation:

    I had the
    distinct privilege today of chaperoning Selah’s year end field trip. We
    went to a park for 4 hours; 14 1st graders! It was really quite an
    experience. I don’t quite have the words to explain it. There was one
    particular theme that kept coming up as I was talking to these sweet
    little kids, regardless if they were male or female; Asian, Indian,
    African-American, or white. The common thread? A lack of a father
    figure. I was shocked by what I was hearing. "Can it really be that
    bad" I kept asking myself? Yep. It can. And it is. Fatherlessness is an
    epidemic in our Nation. I had kids literally hanging all over me all
    day long. They were fighting to hold my hand as we walked from the
    playground to the bathrooms. Many were young girls, and the pain I saw
    in their eyes and heard in their voices caused me to reflect on young
    ladies (teenagers) I know who are oversexed and undereducated – and
    who, coincidentally, have a father vacuum in their world.

    This led me to two thoughts this morning…

    1. Is our church doing enough to reach the fatherless? James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father
      accepts as pure and faultless is this:       to look after orphans and widows
      in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
    2. What are the long-term effects of a generation of fatherless boys and girls?

    A postlude:
    I could argue that I grew up partly fatherless. My dad and I had a weekend relationship my entire childhood… but yet I turned out OK. What’s the balanced thinking here? From my own perspective there were as many or more messed up kids from "perfect homes" as there were from "broken homes." Christian logic makes it seem that kids without dads in their lives are doomed and yet I could give hundreds of examples where that isn’t the case. On the flip side, clearly God’s ideal for a child is a father and mother. Where does the rhetoric end and the reality kick in? What does it take to raise a "good kid?" Seems like a rhetorical question, doesn’t it?

    The "answer" isn’t mom or dad. The answer is God.

  • Seen this? UnSpun by Amazon

    There is a lot of this ranking stuff popping up on the web. I love this use of technology. Very cool… web 2.0 strikes again.

  • Almighty Bad Marketing

    EvanalmightyLast night, Kristen and I were supposed to see the new movie Evan Almighty. Their publicist, Grace Hill Media, had a great idea… invite pastors to come preview the movie so that they could talk it up before it comes out.

    From a marketing perspective, this was a great idea. Invite me to something exclusive and I’ll tell 100 people about it. Brilliant!

    For me they not only failed, they irritated and embarrassed me.

    Good marketing idea
    Like a ton of other youth workers, I got an invite to a screening a couple weeks ago. I clicked on the link and "RSVP" for the event. In the past when I’ve done these your RSVP meant you got to attend. Note that it didn’t say "RSVP for a CHANCE to see the film." We made a plan and we even invited a couple friends to make an evening out of it. In my opinion, this was a great marketing scheme because the movie is aimed at Christians… and in a local church no one is more influential than the pastoral staff. Good job, Grace Hill.

    The worst kind of marketing
    We all know the stuff we see on TV is often garbage. If a product were so good, they wouldn’t need to spend millions telling us how good it was. We’d know! (The best marketing is free) You buy the stuff from the infomercial and it just doesn’t work. They want you to spend four easy payments of $25 to buy a product… and you feel dumber for buying it in the end. This is how I felt when we showed up at the theater last night. We drove 40 miles to a movie theater in Southfield. (An hour!) We arrived, frustrated by traffic, but there on time. And what happened then? We were told the event was full. Even though we had  RSVPed and gotten a confirmation… it turns out that we had really just RSVPed for a chance to attend the event. This is the absolute worst kind of marketing. The bait and switch. Worse yet… I had invited someone else to come for a chance to attend the screening. So not only was I annoyed that I got snookered into driving 40 miles for a chance to see a $8 movie… I snookered 2 other people as well.

    Good marketing     would never make someone feel like they were important only to disappoint and embarrass them in the end in front of their friends. Good marketing would never leave someone hanging in the lobby empty handed having to tell their friends they were an idiot.

    But bad marketing would. And Christians have shown again and again that we are willing to put up with bad marketing… just go to any bookstore and you’ll see that.

    Well… not any more. I learned a big lesson about "Christian marketing" last night. While there are major strides being made last night was proof that bad marketing will always be alive and well.

  • hmmm….

    How come we talk about vision for something and never talk about dreams?

    I want to dream big dreams. I want to be called a dreamer. I’m not sure if I want to envision big vision and be called a visioneer.

    Word game? I don’t think so.

  • What is MainStreet

    I get a lot of people who don’t go to our church who ask me about MainStreet. What in the world is this? Cows, nacho cheese, pies in the face? What is going on? How in the world is that going to make an impact for Jesus?

    Well, for those people… I made a little video that explains a little bit more about why we do what we do.

  • Left for Dead? Keep the stories coming

    Leftfordead_sofa
    I’ve gotten a couple of email responses to my article, "Left for Dead by the Church."

    Keep them coming. I know just last week of 3 people who were either fired or had to quit because work conditions had deteriorated beyond something tolerable. There are hundreds of stories out there.

    Sharing your story is important. Maybe you just need to get it off your chest or maybe you believe that sharing your story will help change things. Either way, your story needs to be told.

    Think that it’s not healthy? Of the stories I’ve read… not an ounce of bitterness. Sadness. Frustration. Yep, but not bitter.

  • graduation speeches: they need help!

    Cap_graduationLike a lot of youth pastors, I’ve been to more than my fair share of high school graduations. And right along with that comes the ever present "student speeches." At the ceremony I attended yesterday there were 10 student speeches.

    It’s been a long time since I’ve heard a student say something memorable. And yesterday was no exception to that rule. Either they don’t know how  to prepare a speech or they aren’t allowed to say anything with any substance. Here is the pattern:

    1. Thank their parents.
    2. Give a nod to their school.
    3. Say to their classmates "We did it!"
    4. Give a random literary quote.
    5. Say thank you and walk away.

    At the end of the day, the best and brightest of a school district look pretty dumb. (And you know they aren’t… this should be a shining moment for them!) They may be able to score straight A’s for 8 semester of high school but they fail to even understand why they are asked to give a speech. I don’t think it’s their fault they look dumb either.

    Graduation
    At the very least, you would think the administration would intervene and say… "Hmmm… maybe this isn’t a time to allow the kid to blab about stupidity, maybe we can help them look good so that we can look good too!" (After all, high school graduation may be the best PR event of the year!) I don’t mean they should write their speech for them, but perhaps they could look at the speeches and work with the students to make the speeches say something? And if there are 10 speeches… perhaps they should assign each student something different to say so all 10 don’t repeat the same speech with different proper nouns inserted?

    I think there needs to be a graduation speech website. Give some practical advice to the best and brightest… help them turn high school graduation from something that is completely forgettable to something memorable and unforgettable.

  • Stealth Attack: A book for your reading list

    Stealth_attackThis also appeared at YMX but is worth sharing here. It’s also worth noting that the author, Ray Pritchard, was our senior pastor in Chicago at Calvary Memorial. In the 5-6 years that we were there, I went from greatly admiring Ray as a great speaker to greatly respecting him as my pastor.

    The ministry of Satan is alive and well in the world today. While great innovations make life more pleasant than ever for some, the armies of God’s adversary continue to make advances in both expected and unexpected ways. The poor are oppressed and forced to endure exposure to disease and endless cycles of despair. The wealthy become even more comfortable and complacent as convenience and purposeful pleasure-seeking force faith further to the hushed corners of their lives. In fact, these are expected, predictable satanic attacks which many of us are keen to spy out. We know Satan attacks our weaknesses. In fact, we have learned to expect that Satan will exploit these weaknesses.

    Yet, Satan’s ministry takes on unexpected methods as well. In Stealth Attack, veteran pastor and author Ray Pritchard, outlines what he describes as Satan’s asymmetrical warfare. Making comparisons to the type of warfare the United States and its allies engage in the worldwide war on terror, Pritchard demonstrates how our spiritual adversary attacks us and terrorizes believers. For instance, sometimes believers are attacked at our strengths precisely because our defenses are left unguarded at our strong points while we are concentrating our attention on protecting our weaknesses.

    Spiritual warfare is not a well-liked topic in Christian circles. Even in youth ministry there is a resistance to use military terminology and imagery to activate and educate students. For those people, Pritchard’s book will make them uncomfortable. While some complain that Christian leaders would be better suited to emphasize a message of love and hope, Pritchard expresses the exact opposite opinion in his matter of fact and practical style. He expresses that while we may feel inclined to soften the message of Christ to become more palatable to a global, post-modern society, the truth is that Satan rages literal war against us. In the end, we can call it what we like, yet Satan is waging war.

    Pritchard’s question is never, "Are believers at war with Satan?" He presupposes such a war because the Bible makes it clear that Satan and God have been raging war for ages past and will continue until the return of Christ. Pritchard’s focus is to help us recognize the asymmetrical attacks Satan levies as well as provide practical, Biblical advice for fighting the true enemy of every believer.

    Stealth Attack isn’t written as a theological text to be studied by seminarians or purely as a resource for pastors and youth workers. Instead, it’s aimed at everyone. It covers the practical implications of spiritual warfare. It’s even suitable for small groups and Bible study groups for high school ages and up.

    How’s this for a shameless plug? Buy it now!

  • Left for Dead by the Church

    Several weeks ago I was asked to write an article for Simply Youth Ministry. Well, this afternoon it was released. Here’s an excerpt of "Left for Dead by the Church."


    Somewhere there must be a manual that some senior pastors read called
    “Ways to Destroy a Youth Worker” because the pattern of hurt is
    predictable. (This article is describing a termination for reasons
    other than moral failure where immediate removal is required for the
    protection of the church and its students.)

    There
    are secret meetings where a decision is made as well as a “story”
    developed that will be told publicly. A meeting with the youth worker
    is arranged. The youth worker, blindsided, is told lies about his
    ministry or confronted with a politically charged issue. He is then
    offered a financial package in exchange for agreeing to this story. The
    youth worker is forbidden from saying goodbye to his students and
    volunteers, all he is allowed to do is repeat the story the leadership
    wants or else he risks losing the financial package. As soon as the
    youth worker has left the job, the church leaders spread lies about the
    youth workers ministry, relationships, or even family in order to
    justify the firing.     Link

    This, of course, is part of my heart’s cry for youth workers. This has been a terrible week for youth workers over at YMX. I know of 3 people who lost their jobs this week and more than 3 in the preceding 3 weeks. As my article clearly states, we know turnover is part of the role of associate pastoral staff… no one argues that we are untouchable… but what needs to change is the lack of professionalism in God’s church.

    This is why Patti and some other friends are working so hard to create Raising Lazarus. We know that there are many other ministries that do similar types of work. But few of them focus their attention on associate level staff people. A applaud Patti and people like Gerrard Fess who join me in speaking boldly in caring for the people the church has left for dead. I am tired of seeing youth pastors treated like the living room couch… the centerpiece of the living room one day, on the curb in the rain the next.

    We don’t care to give the church a black eye… but we do care to help those who need to be raised from the dead.
    Amen

  • signs…

    GaragesaleThere is a sign nazi in our area. Some government official has apparently made garage and for sale signs on easements his vendetta.

    The church is located on a visible corner… we are easement sign central for those entering or leaving Romeo from the east/west direction. Several times per week a person will place a sign for an upcoming garage sale or their for sale by owner sign on the corner of the church property. And within hours its gone.

    Now, our police department is fine… but they are a little like Barney Fife in The Andy Griffith Show. They deal with so little crime, they end up passing their days on traffic duty and picking up signs. I know for a fact that they wouldn’t dare get our of their car to pick up a sign on their own accord.

    Someone has told them to do it. And someone is making a big deal about it because they are being entirely too consistent and too quick about it. To be honest… the little dance of "us peons" putting out signs to see "the man" put them in the back of his squad car is completely ridiculous. It’s silly over-policing… yet someone one higher than them has made it very important.

    My parallel to this is my own life. What am I quick to pluck out that is seemingly unimportant to me but important enough to them that they would take the time to create and place a sign in my life?
    Where am I being a dictator on something minor that is distracting to the bigger picture?