• Pushing Past the Pain of Change

    This weekend, at Open, I heard a few things. Some were from attendees, some speakers, and others from the Holy Spirit.

    Most of the thoughts that stuck are along the lines of change. People are ready for change. They are hungry for it. And the pain of continuing this cycle of depreciating returns is too depressing– finally overcoming the reality that making some levels of foundation shifting change is worth the cost.

    Thoughts like this…

    • how we as a tribe gathers needs to change
    • how we gather teenagers needs to change
    • how we disciple teenagers needs to change.
    • how we think of ourselves needs to change.
    • how we fund the movement of ministering to adolescents needs to change.

    With declining numbers in all of the categories that seem to matter, the reality is that there are so few winners and far too many losers.

    We all need things in our life and vocation to change. And we are in the position to do something about it.

    People, like you and me, are beginning to realize that it is up to us to make these changes instead of waiting for someone else. (Cough, be a leader. Cough, cough. Entropy. Cough, cough. I KNOW! Cough, cough.)

    The Pain of Change

    Actually changing things will cost you something. It might make people hate you. It will be messy. It might lead to your organization losing money or even closing. There’s a pretty good chance that you could get fired.

    But I want to encourage you as you think about change. When you lead towards what you feel God is calling you to move towards… it’s always scary. It’s always full of fear. It’s always brought with some pain.

    Sometimes in Scripture we need to read between the lines a little bit. I think of people like Noah going home and telling his wife he needed to build an ark and gather animals. I’m guessing he and his wife didn’t see eye to eye on that at first blush, something tells me he slept on the coach, and maybe it was a little while until she accepted the lunacy of her husbands vision. Rest assured… building an ark isn’t good for your sex life. Or I think about the Centurion in Acts… I’m sure it went well when his boss in Rome found out he and his entire house converted to the religion he was paid to squelch. I don’t think that guy got a raise. Or I think about the Peter on the day of Pentecost… I’m sure that his message of Jesus as the Christ went over like a pile of bricks. Remember, most of the people in the audience walked away saying he was drunk.

    So this is what I know. Not just from the Bible but from my own life: Until you suck it up, accept that the changes you know you need to make will involve some pain, you’re just going to keep doing nothing.

    No sir. Not for me. I want to sleep at night. The word regret will not be on my tombstone.

    Things will change because they must. Pain will be overcome because its just pain. And the vision and dreams God has laid on our hearts should scare the hell out of us.

    But fear of pain preventing me or you from the leaders we can be?

    May we never sink so far.

  • Time Transport

    Time from Copious Films on Vimeo.

    This video disoriented me. I was so into it that I literally had to look away from the screen and think about where I’m at. (At a friends house in suburban Seattle.) I think there’s something mesmerizing about the combination of the music and clips.

    Put your headphones on. Make it full screen. All yourself to really concentrate.

    Enjoy.

  • Celebrating the Collective We

    Saturday was one of those rare experiences where you witness a vision reality.

    Something that existed purely by way of imagination, aspiration, and hopeful preparation took physical shape resulting in a day I’ll always remember.

    It started to get real when I picked up the t-shirts. Brian Aaby had connected me with a local screen printer who not only did a great job but passed along a beautiful price. When Kevin popped the lid on a massive box of antique cherry red t-shirts emblazoned with a white “Open Seattle” logo– I was taken aback. It was like that box pinched me and woke me up. THIS IS HAPPENING!

    The Friday night speakers dinner was next. 30 speakers & their significant others enjoyed a meal together. Again, it was one of those things that was just on the calendar… it was a thing I knew would be cool but had no idea how fun it would be. Though most of us had never met face-to-face, everyone had a great time getting to know one another. There were lots of hugs and laughter mixed with our spaghetti and cheesecake. Perhaps the quality of the night was best exhibited in the volume of the group. It was so loud in there!

    After a sleepless night I got up before dawn to head over to Seattle Pacific University. I was the first car in the lot. The campus was silent as I unloaded my rental car and schlepped boxes of stuff into Upper Gwinn.

    Then it all kind of started to go in fast-forward. Sponsors started showing up to set up their booths. No sooner did I get stuff unpacked before the early birds started to arrive. And seemingly 15 seconds later it was 8:57.

    I grabbed Mark Moder… “Um, can you help me? I need someone to do a little welcome and mixer.”

    Literally, I needed that 2 minutes to shift my brain. The build up had been so long but the morning so short. I needed to capture the moment, gather my thoughts, and say this:

    It’s because of you. We do this thing for you. The world needs you. And we need you to not just love Jesus and love kids. Today is an expression of the collective we. When we gather, we share what is working and our ideas… we begin to welcome in a new, bigger collective we of adults who minister to adolescents.

    (Or something like that.)

    I’ll share more about the day later. But it was a great day. It’s one thing to dream dreams. But it’s another thing to see your dreams become a reality. And what was really fun for me is that it wasn’t a celebration of a kooky idea that I somehow snookered 125 people to being a part of. It was a celebration of something that we can all stack hands on, own, and say… “That thing belongs to us, the collective we.”

  • Seattleness Weekend

    I’m up in Seattle this weekend hosting the first ever Open event.

    Please join me in praying for a great day. There’s a lot of people traveling from all over the country (specifically the Pacific Northwest) to get here. I am praying that its a wonderful weekend of refreshment.

    If you’d like to follow the action, the hashtag for the weekend is #openseattle

  • WWTD: What Would Tammy Do?

    TammyTammy joined our family almost four years ago. Tammy is our first daughter whom we left on the side of the road because she misbehaved on a long car ride. (Read the whole story here.)

    Tammy is a rotten child. She’s all trick and no treat. She’s all spice and no sugar or things nice. She’s the kid who gives you the middle finger just because she has a middle finger to show you. When you cry, she laughs. When you are feeling down, she tells you why. And if there’s bad behavior to be found, she is behind it.

    Tammy isn’t actually real. She’s a fable, an archetype, a legend, and a myth.

    But Tammy is a part of our family. In that sense she is very real.

    She comes up in conversation all the time. Paul will say, “I don’t want to eat breakfast– I just want to eat candy all the time.” And I’ll respond, “Well, we tried that with Tammy. You know how that turned out.” Or, when talking about behavior at school, we’ll talk about what kind of student Tammy was before she dropped out and took up a life of crime.

    Sometimes we imagine what it’d be like if we were driving down the freeway and we saw her, picked her up, and brought her back into the family.

    And Kristen and I have joked about how awesome it’d be to actually hire an actress to play Tammy, see her on the side of the road, and pick her up. Instantly, all of our kids would need therapy. 

    Fables are Powerful

    I’m a little shy about saying that you need a Tammy in your house. I don’t know if your kids need an archetype of all things bad kid. She just kind of appeared one day as I was driving down the road and frustrated with some bratty car behavior.

    But I do know that a good family fable is both powerful and functional. Tammy is part of what makes us McLane’s. She’s our inside joke and a full-fledged family member. At the same time the legend of Tammy is a great way to have an example of a bad kid in the house without it being an actual bad kid that you have to label.

    Sure, she’ll come up in therapy later in life. Tammy will likely cost me tens of thousands of dollars in that regard. But, if that’s the worst thing about our parenting… I’ll take it. 

  • The Blind Date That Worked

    At some point in meeting someone new, the conversation almost always turns to how we met our significant other. And when the conversation goes there… I always win.

    Kristen and I met on a blind date when we were 18 years old. As Kristen likes to point out, it was memorable for her but not-so-much for me as I didn’t even recognize her the next day in the dining hall.

    For me, it wasn’t that the date was insignificant at all. We had a really great time! But I had a lot on my mind, too. We were college freshmen and it was just a couple weeks before finals. Besides taking a full load of classes I was holding down 2 part-time jobs so I could stay in school and, of course, I was pretty involved in dorm life. Neither one of us were super into dating anyone at the time. I’d dated a lot and was kind of over the Moody scene, and Kristen had never been on a date at all. (She was vice-president of Maidens to the Millennium, a group of women whom are all happily married now!)

    Kristen and I fell in love over the next few weeks and the summer after that. Lots of walks, getting lost on the L, lots of long distance phone calls, and some random scary trips to meet family.

    26 months later we got married and have lived happily, ever after.

    We’re 36 years old now. That was literally half a lifetime ago.

    Kristen and I are still on that blind date.

    Most nights these days we take our third child, Jackson (19 months) and Stoney (our dog) for an evening walk. As the afternoon heat gives way to the evening ocean breezes we walk, talk, flirt, and stroll. If we’re honest its about presence with one another more than anything else. And all these years later going for a walk with Kristen is just as fun as it was the very first time I met her, when we walked from Moody, down Chicago Avenue to Michigan Avenue… and later down Michigan Avenue to the river, cutting over to Clark to have a coffee in the lobby of a fancy hotel.

    If we’re honest, while our bodies and feet are walking all over Rolando our minds and memories are remembering long walks along the lake as far north and as far south as we could go, Sunday strolls all over the near north neighborhoods that started before dinner and had us running back to make curfew, Saturday dates walking down to Grant Park or through Lincoln Park, and all of the dreams we shared while pushing Megan in a stroller all over Oak Park and River Forest about what the next phase of life would be like after college.

    So, for the pessimists, blind dates aren’t all bad. Sometimes they lead you on a million miles of walks with your forever best friend.

  • 5 Hallmarks of New Leadership

    Yoda spins his leadership mantras like a DJThe balance of power has shifted. Whether you recognize it or not there is a big gap between perceived leadership and actual leadership.

    • Old (perceived) leadership: These are the people with the titles, position, and authority of traditional leadership. These people are called “leaders” by vocation. In actuality, they have much power of big things but little power over your moment-by-moment interactions.
    • New (actual) leadership: These are people you are shaping your mind/heart/life around. They influence your thought life, they help shape your aspirations, they inspire you to be the you you really want to be.

    These things have shifted in your mind. Heck, maybe you are frustrated because your own leadership has changed and you can’t figure out quite why?

    Some examples… Your boss isn’t likely the boss you have on your job description. Your pastor isn’t likely the pastor you sit under. Your teacher might just be a fallback teacher compared to your guru.

    It’s almost cute that traditional, old-style leaders, still think they have great influence with the people technically under their leadership.

    That’s why one is perceived and the other actual.

    In years past things like an organizational chart really mattered. Even if you didn’t have one, you respected a hierarchy that now baffles you with it’s out-of-datedness. If people were truly honest and asked themselves, “Who is actually leading and influencing me today”  their life org chart now looks more like a bowl of spaghetti than a pyramid.

    So, these new leaders, how are they doing it? Because it’s not just an age thing. Plenty of old leaders are retaining leadership in this new age.

    5 Hallmarks of New Leadership

    1. New leaders collaborate instinctively Old leadership looked at collaboration as a sign of weakness, something they did when they needed help. New leaders assume they need help and know that working together leads to a better end results. New leaders know that when great minds work together the result is always something awesome. Old leaders worry too much about protecting their territory/brand/knowledge base/customer base.
    2. New leaders begat thinkers Old leadership is intimidated by people who are smarter than them or better leaders than them. They build structures where they are the chief and people who work for them are followers. New leaders want the very best ideas and aren’t intimidated that the best idea came from an intern, new hire, or the janitor. They love it and celebrate when their employees leave to start something new. (Anathema to an old leader)
    3. New leaders lead from the the front lines, not the board room Old leaders love meetings, hold secrets from subordinates, and rarely do the work their organization is best known for. But new leaders are front liners, those who get dirty, those who avoid meetings so they can hang with the engineers, they are hands on and know their presence inspires those working alongside them. Old leaders spend a lot of time hiding while new leaders spend a lot of time on site, working their butts off.
    4. New leaders hate vacuums Decisions don’t come down from on high from today’s best leaders. They are group efforts, made in the best interest of all interested parties, because these leaders know they are in the trust business more than they are in business. Old leaders have a tendency to only look outside of their organizations for validation of their decisions as most of their decisions are made in a vacuum of the “top leaders.” New leaders look outside of their organizations all the time, they want to do what makes sense even if it defies logic.
    5. New leaders create environments Old leaders create structures, efficiencies, set priorities, and worry a lot about tasks & todo lists. New leaders care much more about the ecosystem of their environment, bring on the best possible people, and cultivate a place where the best stuff is celebrated, toxic people are fired, and space is creative.

     

  • Football Thoughts: Fifth Edition

    Where do we begin? League play took hold this week and we’re starting to see the legitimacy of the contenders. Just like in basketball, the non-conference games can give false positives for teams because they’re playing in weird places, staying in weird hotels, and playing teams they don’t normally play. But when you head into conference play you are playing teams you know, schemes you’ve seen before, etc.

    Lack of Defense

    In watching parts of a number of games yesterday the thing that stuck out to me is that the offenses are way ahead of the defenses right now. Obviously, the West Virginia game was entertaining… but a horrible offensively played game. While fun to watch (kind of) none of these teams are serious contenders as they will all eventually play teams with defense. Geno Smith’s 25,000 yard, 119 TD game was cool. We’ll see just how good he is on the road against Texas in a few weeks. Right now, he’s got Heisman hopes and the stats to back it up. He might be this year’s RG3.

    That trend continued all day as there were lots and lots of high scoring, highly entertaining football games. I think the thing that was so shocking wasn’t just the numbers… but how open some of these receivers were. I think there is such emphasis on stunts and blitzes defensively right now, because that might cause turnovers… that offensive coordinators are just out-scheming these defenses. Find the open man caused by the blitz, toss it for 6 points.

    SDSU

    There better be some panic on the Mesa today. Rocky Long, longtime labeled as defensive guru, saw his defense give up 655 yards last night, 484 last week, and 533 two weeks back. It’s like they aren’t even trying to stop the passing game. Big whoop, you stopped the run. The 3-3-5 depends on having a great inside linebacker which they don’t have. (Miles Burris graduated last year and is starting for the Oakland Raiders now) Time for Plan B defensively. So many times they gave up chunks of 25-30 yards to a completely unguarded receiver. That can’t happen.

    Offensively, I love what I’m seeing from Adam Muema. That kid can play. And Ryan Katz (the QB) has moments when he’s great. But 5 turnovers last night ultimately put the defense in such a hole that they couldn’t possibly keep up. The first pick wasn’t Katz’s fault, but the other 2 totally were preventable.

    Notre Dame

    Nice to have a week off and move up in the rankings. Thank you Stanford. 

    Let’s hope the only news items coming out of next week’s Miami game are…

    A win next week has everyone looking at the Irish as potential BCS game contenders. And another big game by Manti Te’o has him moving up in the Heisman talk.

    Big 10

    Michigan State losing to Ohio State was bad news for the Big 10 on a day full of bad news. I felt bad for ESPN yesterday. How did they get stuck with Iowa/Minnesota and Illinois/Penn State? Gosh, Illinois is bad.

    Nebraska beating Wisconsin put Nebraska on the board and puts Wisconsin on the pathway to the 5th place bowl. No idea where that league is headed… it’s looking like Northwestern is still in the drivers seat.

    Pac 12

    Oregon State is legit. It’s really fun to watch them play… too bad the Pac 12 network makes it so that no one really gets to see them. Oregon is the real deal. The question won’t be if they are good enough to get into the title game, the question will be if their defense is legit enough to not get run over by Alabama in the title game.

    Big 12 vs SEC Challenge

    Have you seen the top 15 rankings? 9 of the 15 are from either the SEC or Big 12. Obviously, there will be winners and losers now that they have to play one another. But its pretty clear that those 2 conferences are this years “top tier” and the other AQ conferences + Notre Dame (minus the Big Easy aka Big East) are second tier.

    Question?

    Who’s “The best of the rest?” Who do you think has a shot at the title that I’m not giving love to?

  • Pushing Forward and Through

    Big Mud

    If you’ve visited Western and Central Europe you know it can be a wet, nasty place. As you drive around, especially in non-summer months, you’ll get acquainted with the mud. The touristy places are gorgeous and attract thousands for a reason– because non-gorgeous places aren’t worth visiting.

    Reading Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms acquaints you with the dreaded reality found in the mud. Months and months of cold, wet weather wore soldiers down. Visiting famous battle sites all over Europe helps you imagine the misery soldiers felt over the centuries.

    Their leaders brought them out into a field where they sank in the mud, got covered in it from head to toe, slept in it, and then were told to fight. They had to think… why here? What are we doing? Can’t we just go home?

    You can’t see the fields of France, Germany, and Belgium and not think about the military leaders. It had  to take serious leadership to keep men motivated to fight in that.

    Leading in the Mud

    The last 24 hours have been an exercise of pushing forward and through some mud.

    My definition of leadership is taking people where they would otherwise not go on their own.

    Leadership is an action of the collective will.

    • We will go there
    • We must go there
    • We will go even if its difficult to get there

    Right now, I’m leading forward on some things which are facing some forms of resistance.

    The details of what I’m pushing through aren’t even relevant to the larger point. Instead, I’m pushing through because the only way to move forward is to push forward and through some stuff. 

    O, The Stuff

    In the past several years I’ve noticed that others tend to get hung up on the stuff and less convicted by the need to push through the stuff.

    What’s the stuff? Distractions. Frustrations. Anxiety. Complications. Family life factors. Physical limitations. You know… stuff. Stuff is real. But it stands between where you are and where you need to go... so it’s just stuff to push through, right? 

    All too often I talk to people who know where they need to go– are truly convicted that they need to press on towards the prize– but they’ve fallen into a fatalistic, over-spiritualization of the stuff.

    Too many times we look at the stuff and read into it that since its difficult that God might not want us to push through the stuff. We start off on a journey towards something but as soon as stuff gets difficult we start mislabeling difficulties. (see Myth: God Opens and Closes Doors)

    Relentlessly Pushing Forward

    When I think of my last 24 hours and some of the stuff… really, it’s “just” stuff to push forward through. (“Just” meaning it’s stuff I can push through, not that the “just” part of it somehow means that its unimportant.) Some of the things were beyond my control, so you roll with them. Other things were things I didn’t know, so you have to make good decisions in the moment about it and press onward. Other things were situations faced because my skill level was too low, so you learn quickly and figure out what to do. Still other stuff is self-inflicted, so you correct that too.

    The point of leading somewhere isn’t the stuff you have to overcome to get there. It’s that you overcome the stuff to get where you need to go. 

  • A rant on the National Mortgage Settlement letter I received

    January 28th, 2014 UPDATE

    I received a 1099-C today from Citimortgage documenting that they’ve finally written off the debt and assigning the debt amount to my SSN to pay taxes on. I assume that’s what the $300 is going to cover? Either way, glad this sad chapter is ending.

    APRIL 23rd, 2013 UPDATE

    Over the weekend we received a check for $300. So a bank stole my house, humiliated me in front of my neighbors, killed the value of homes in my area, then tried to collect damages from me… and that’s worth $300. You’ve got to be freaking kidding me.

    Leave me a comment and let me know what I should do with this $300. I’m thinking of buying more Citibank stock.

    MARCH 22nd 2013 UPDATE 

    Today, we received a postcard in the mail from the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency telling us we no longer had to do anything, no forms, no investigations, no risk… but to expect a check in the mail over the next 4-8 weeks. If you’re wondering if that is legit or just another scam, please read about it on the Federal Treasury website.

    Original rant

    <rant warning>
    I got a letter today, allegedly from the Michigan attorney general encouraging me to sign on to a settlement. (148,000 other people got this, too) If I read the letter correctly, the 5 major banks are settling with foreclosure victims for whom they, the banks, willfully blocked a short sale to force them into foreclosure. Additionally, the payments are regarding litigation surrounding illegally signed documents, perhaps in lew of criminal charges. (This was one of the myriad of problems we faced.)

    In our case, after stealing my home the bank then bought it from themselves and then sold it to a 3rd party, making $75,000 on the transaction, while at the same time taking a federal buyout of billions of dollars, crying to Congress that they got stuck with losses from people like me.

    And now these same banks want to give me $840 as an I’m sorry– we’re not at fault — please take this money payment? As if, “Oopsies, we stole your house and turned your life upside down” is worth $840.

    So, the banks get to ruin my credit score until 2016, these same banks get to charge me higher interest rates for everything from a credit card to a car loan and all the nastiness that goes with that, like getting denied credit for little things like say… my electric bill, forcing me to pay deposits.

    And $840 is supposed to make up for that.

    That sickens me.

    I’m thankful that I was smart enough to take what was left of my IRA in 2009 and invest in these same banks. Between 2009 and 2011 my IRA made back the vast majority I lost in cash value from the house as they reaped the benefits of grand theft and federal bailouts. (Take that, suckers!)

    But telling me I’m eligible for $840 in a settlement without fixing the main problems… is a slap in the face.

    To summarize, Mr. Big Bank…. here’s why I think your settlement is a far cry from what is needed.

    1. You forced me to give up my house by refusing to fulfill your end of the mortgage contract and work with me on a short sale. I had multiple buyers with offers tens of thousands of dollars more than you eventually sold it for in foreclosure. Additionally, you refused to take a 1 time settlement with me for the balance of the loan at closing to avoid a short sale altogether. You weren’t going to lose a dime! But gave me no other option after months and months but to give up. How is this settlement fixing that? 
    2. Literally, at the end of the day, you stole the house from me months before the foreclosure process had run its proper course, which would have allowed even the most inept person processing your short sales the opportunity to close. You forged paperwork, you sent me documents with “sign by” dates having already expired, you then sold my house at public auction before the foreclosure process was complete… it wasn’t even yours! And how does this make up for any of that? 
    3. You had the nerve to tell me that I owed an additional $31,000 to cover the balance of a loan in full flat out denial of the fact that the house was collateral against the loan. (As clearly stipulated in the contract.) This has never made sense to me. Did you take care of that? 
    4. You then sold that bogus debt to collection companies who have harassed me illegally since 2009. Every 6-7 weeks I have to put up with phone calls and letters from another entity for a debt I do not owe and will not pay. These companies give up and then sell that “debt” to another company, who calls and harasses me. One even offered me a settlement saying if I paid $1100 now it’d erase a $31,000 debt they can’t prove that I actually owe. Are you going to take care of that? It’s driving me nuts.
    5. You ruined my credit and will continue to ruin my credit until at least 2016. Are you going to take care of that?
    6. You forced me, a person who had never missed a payment, to go through the humiliation of foreclosing on a house I loved and invested every penny in. Further, your actions cost my neighbors money as this bogus foreclosure devalued their homes, making me look like a chump. How are you going to take care of that? 

    Seriously. $840.

    For all I know, these banks have a deal with the attorney general of the state of Michigan which will somehow make me liable for something else by accepting a stupid $840 settlement check.

    Trick me once. Shame on you. Trick me twice. Shame on me.

    Never again.

    So that’s what I think about the letter I got today.

    </rant warning>