Last night our community group went to Ocean Beach to enjoy a bonfire.
Fire, stories, sunset, hotdogs, and s’mores. Dang. Such a cool time.
It’s nights like that when you have to pinch yourself and laugh a little as you fall asleep.
I’m thankful for where I live. And I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made.
Time to write a cheesy Christian song, isn’t it?
We adopted Stoney, a yellow lab, three and a half years ago. As I have well documented he is part of our family.
Yet Stoney had one weird flaw. (beyond his love of humping middle school girls legs.) He hates the water. Most lab owners can’t keep their dogs out of the water and I couldn’t get mine in.
Since we now lives just 15 minutes from the ocean I have gotten used to taking him to Ocean Beach dog beach every week for something I call, Beach Therapy.
I did some reading this winter and learned the trick to getting reluctant dogs to swim. It involves lots of praise and play.. Two things Stoney really likes!
About 4 weeks ago I got him to play in very shallow water. He came home wet and I knew he had a good time. Today, the water was a lot warmer and the tide was way, way out. Long story short, I was able to throw the ball into the water and he would go get it.
He is still reluctant about bigger waves and doing more than wading up to his chest… but you could see instinct begin to take over. He even did that characteristic hop labs do to hurdle through water.
Congrats Stoney, you did it.
Now if only he could read.
I’ve done small groups in one form or another most of the last 15 years. I’ve been in high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve lead middle school, high school, college, and adult small groups. I’ve always wanted a small group that gelled and did awesome things… and I could never make it happen as a leader. Just when I had nearly given up on small groups, along came Harbor and my stupid insane idea to say “yes” to hosting this group after visiting a church one time.
It’s been about 8 months and I can’t imagine a better community group to be a part of. I’m growing. We’re growing. And I think we’re making an impact on the people around us. Moreover, I can’t think of a better church to be a part of in this season of my life. That may sound like hype… but you need to understand what happened tonight to see why I dig Harbor so much.
Last week we decided that it would be fun to meet at Ocean Beach for a bonfire. For those who read this outside of San Diego all you need to know if that OB is kind of a leftover surfer area full of artists, hippies, beach bums, and those who can afford to live down there who probably secretly wish they were one too. The beach has these fire pits that are open to the public, just bring wood and claim one and you’re good to go.
So our group met at 6:30. In typical form everyone brought something. Wood, hotdogs, a cooler full of water, etc. We got our fire going and started to enjoy an awesome sunset laughing and catching up. Then Keith showed up. Keith is a homeless guy who asked if he could sit by the fire. Soon enough another person from our group struck up a conversation like he’d known Keith since grade school. Hotdogs eaten, water drunk, more sunset enjoyed. Pretty soon Keith asked us why we were hanging out at the beach. He didn’t really wince too much when we told him we were a small group from a church. “So, what do you guys talk about?” That’s when Richard pretty much told Keith the entire sermon from the day before. He read all of the Scriptures and then retold him all of the illustrations and all of us agreed… we were pretty much hypocrites and we were construction zones… we all settled on Stephen’s description of “holy mess.” Yeah, that pretty much explains me too.
Just when we were all settled into a nice quiet moment another person shows up. This sort of thing happens in OB all the time. (This kind of thing happens to our community group all the time as well.) 10 people having a good time on the beach naturally draws others looking for a good time. So a guy walks up with a couple of his friends. “Hey, would you guys mind if I practiced my fire twirling?” Um… no!
So here we are. A hodgepodge group, a holy mess, huddled around a fire enjoying s’mores, the perfect sunset, waves traveling thousands of miles across the open ocean and crashing on the shore 50 feet in front of us, and a guy with a boom box twirling fire. “This is the best night ever,” Amy says. She’s right. We all exchange high fives. He does his performance while we all look on. His friends are not sitting with us but are cheering him on. After a couple of routines our entertainer comes over to us and says, “You are in for a treat… a lot more people are coming.”
Within 15 minutes ten more fire twirlers show up. Each of them has a few of their friends. 20 or so of us huddle around the fire while people with flaming sticks, fireballs, and numbchucks wait their turn to show off their skills. More hotdogs eaten by anyone hungry. More s’mores by those who needed a sugar fix. And our hodgepodge small group, the holy mess, is completely surrounded by awesomeness. We’re all grinning ear to ear.
Fire twirlers, hippies, girlfriends, and us. I post a couple of pictures and tweets onto Twitter… and my co-worker Mandy and her husband who live in OB come walking over. How could they resist, right? That’s when it hits me: This is the best small group night ever in the history of human existence!
You can’t put small group mojo in a bottle. You can’t buy community at a conference. All of the training in the world couldn’t put this magic in a bottle and sell it. We’ve got the real deal in our community group and all we can do is enjoy it.
As Kristen and I pulled out of the parking lot we roared with laughter. We knew full well that in most ministry contexts, including the ones we’ve served in, tonight would be viewed as an utter and complete failure. “What do you mean you had a bonfire? What do you mean you just talked to a homeless man all night? What do you mean you watched people twirl fire? I heard there were people their smoking drugs, is that true?” I’m glad to be a part of a church looks at tonight and screams SUCCESS instead of hides in shame, calling an elder meeting to discuss how to break those people up.
As I drove home it hit me. The magic of our small group isn’t about an agenda. Don’t get me wrong, our leaders try to keep us moving forward. It’s never been about pounding out curriculum. It’s not about the hottest small group resource or DVD series. All of those things are great and I’m happy to have them. But when a small group hits the stratophere like ours has lately… all of those things just seem irrelevant. We get together. Not as a holy huddle but as a holy mess. We invite others in. It’s infectious. We need each other and we all secretly live for Monday nights. For me, this group is a magnet. Who wouldn’t want to be in a group that dyes Easter eggs one week and hosts Burning Man the next?
My family isn’t one that will likely go around the table and share what they are thankful for. But that doesn’t mean I am lacking gratitude this Thanksgiving. Here’s a few things I’m especially thankful for.
#1 I am thankful for my red hot smokin’ wife, who is a stone cold fox, and two kids, Walker and Texas Ranger. (Oh wait, that’s Ricky Bobby…) I am thankful for Kristen, Megan, and Paul. They bring immense, intense, wild, fight-club-worthy joy to my life.
#2 I am thankful for all things San Diego. From our neighborhood, to our new church family, to my friends at YS, to the beachy goodness, to all things Mexican food and sushi.
#3 I am thankful for getting to invest in the lives of so many youth workers around the globe. Marko expressed this much better than I could, check out this video.
#4 I am thankful for Youtube, who just started offering widescreen video and all the fun I will have with that.
#5 I am thankful for Steve and all my friends at Apple Computer, I’m glad I finally saw the light.
#6 I am thankful for Snickers. Dang they are good.
#7 I am thankful for Facebook and all of the old friends I’ve reconnected with.
#8 I am thankful for Andy Marin. I praise God that He has raised up a man willing to stand in front of 5,000+ people and proclaim himself, “The gayest straight man in America.” I’m happy to call him a friend and I join him in praying that the church would continue to love the GLBT community.
#9 I’m thankful for Free Speech, that I don’t have to worry about getting sued if I call someone’s ideas stupid.
#10 I am thankful the thousands of “mmm’s” I heard at NYWC this fall as speaker’s spoke truth into leaders lives.
#11 I am thankful for the genius feature on iTunes.
#12 I am thankful for the Chargers, Irish, Wolverines, Spartans, and any other sports team I care about in 2008 sucking so I could concentrate on other things.
#13 I am thankful for the dress code at YS.
#14 I am thankful for horchata.
#15 I am thankful for pretty things, like Gmail’s new themes, sunsets at Ocean Beach, and odd wildlife in our backyard.
#16 I am thankful for Wii Fit as there is nothing quite like watching your 5 year old do yoga.
#17 I am thankful for former students. They encourage me, join my crazy conversations, challenge me, and inspire me to keep going as I watch them stumble towards faith.
#18 I am thankful for a lot of things, big and small this year.
How about you, what are you thankful for?
I took this picture last week at Ocean Beach in San Diego and have entered it in a photo contest at Parade Magazine called “Oceans of Wonder.”
If you could take a second, please click on this link and vote for my picture.
When the picture wins we get a trip to the Bahamas from TripAdvisor. If you’ve never checked out TripAdvisor, I highly suggest you do before you book your next trip. You can read/write reviews on thousands of local hotels, resorts, and other travel destinations. It’s a great way to get a heads up on where you are going.
