Tag: youth ministry

  • Towards Holistic Youth Ministry

    degrees-360I’ve been blogging the Harbor Mid-City journey as we head towards a launch of student ministry. Up until now in the life cycle of the church plant youth ministry has always been around– part of the DNA– but never emerged as a priority. That’s changing rapidly as the church has formed to the point where ministering to adolescents is bubbling to the top of needs.

    Here is where we are:

    – We are doing a “soft launch” next Tuesday. 8-10 students are coming to one of the pastors house where we will eat dinner, get to know one another, we’ll crack open the Bible, and break off into discussion groups.

    – We’ve got a core team of 4 to start “youth group” with. (That doesn’t seem like the right term, but it’s what we have.)

    – We are creating a ministry aimed at ministering to the whole needs of our students. So Tuesday night youth group is really just one part of the greater sum of what we’re doing. We already offer mentorship, we’ll be adding to that academic help, regular community service projects, leadership development, and family assistance and probably more stuff as we go. The antithesis of what we’re after is entertainment.

    – For now, we’re focusing on high school and recent graduates. The church has a pretty solid kids ministry and for now, that’s where the middle schoolers will be ministered to.

    – For the first quarter, we are meeting in a house. But an early goal is to secure a meeting site somewhere more suitable.

    – Unlike anywhere else I’ve worked with students… getting rides is a big deal.

    – The concept of plural leadership seems to be in the DNA of what we’re creating. I’ve committed to leading up to 25%. For now that means I’m in charge of content. (Either teaching or lining up the teaching, but helping develop the content for the group.)

    – There’s a lot of excitement as we get started. I’d call it naive but the truth is that there’s a lot of experience in the leadership group. We know what we’re getting into and we’re pumped at what God is doing!

    – I think it’s a good idea that we don’t have all of the details, vision, and particulars nailed. Since we already have a solid group of students to launch with… it just seems better to launch with what we have and line-up the rest as we go.

    – We are looking to learn. I’m picking the brains of the urban youth workers I know, putting feelers out to meet more, and our team is all doing the same thing. We know we aren’t inventing something even though it feels like it.

    – Yes, we have a sexy acronymn for what we’re doing. I just can’t remember it.

  • Youth Group vs. Youth Ministry

    Youth Group vs. Youth Ministry

    Last night I sat around a table with some people to talk about youth ministry in our church. As I’ve mentioned a number of  times, our church is in a working class neighborhood of San Diego. We are a community of people with tangible needs. There is real poverty. Real educational problems. Real family trouble. Real gangs. Real violence. Not that life in the suburbs is all perfect, but the needs of students in City Heights are different from their peers just 6 miles to the East in La Mesa. It’s outside of my evangelical, middle class, white culture. And that’s what I like about it.

    Thankfully, there was a ton of agreement around the table. We all can see that we need a ministry and not just another program. And we know that our little ministry has no hope if it isn’t holistic. This is an opportunity to live out more of the Gospel practically than we’ll teach formally.

    I came home last night with one phrase: We want to create a youth ministry, not a youth group.” As we defined that, we implied that youth group points inwardly and creates a cluster of kids around a common purpose. Not intrinsically bad, just not our target. Instead, we are trying to form a ministry that looks at the whole person and pushes those students out into the world, transformed to transform their world. While I have no doubt that we’ll do youth group-type things… retreats, events, Bible studies, and stuff like that. That won’t be our focus.

    As I shared last week. I’m not in this to waste my time or keep busy. Not being on the church’s staff changes my perspective completely. Oddly enough, not being on paid staff emboldens me even more!

    I’m interested in developing leaders for influence in their culture, I’m interested in upsetting Satan’s plans, I’m interested going where the kids are, and I’m interested in sharing leadership. I’m not interested in a group, to babysit and entertain the apathetic. It seems like those parameters are common with the others in the group of people trying to figure it out.

    Shared values are a good place to start. Going to the next step, I feel pretty good about beginning something that is focused first on ministering to students.

    Photo credit: Camaradas by Julián D Gaitán via Flickr (Creative Commons)
  • Fears of a new venture

    What does youth ministry in this neighborhood look like?

    That’s the big open question in my mind this week. A week ago I met with a couple of leaders of Harbor and let them know… I think I’m at a place where giving my energy to lead something makes sense. I’ve completely enjoyed stepping back– forcefully– and spending time in the pews. And yet it’s clear within my soul that I need to help Harbor figure out what is next with student ministry.

    Replication is my fear. Honestly, that’s it. I am fearful that I’ll help lead them a direction towards “adamisms” and things that I’m comfortable with. I’m fearful that I lead them to replicating stuff that other practitioners are already doing without being sensitive to the needs of our church and community. I’m fearful that we’ll be too ambitious or not ambitious enough. I’m fearful that in our zeal to meet the tangible needs of students we won’t be Gospel-driven enough. I’ve lived in cities for half of my adult life, but all of my ministry experience is with suburban kids. I’m not fearful of the kids. But I am in full knowledge that I don’t know how to identify with their struggles. So that’s an over-arching fear mixed in there, as well.

    Fear. It’s where I’m at. Not the trembling kind of fear before embarking on an unknown ministry for the first time. Thankfully, I’m not that 21 year old kid grabbing the mic for the first time. On the one hand this is a more carnal fear. Some fear is based in the success of my past and present ministry. What if I screw it up and everyone looks at me and says, “Doesn’t he work for Youth Specialties? Isn’t he supposed to be an expert? How come he sucks so bad?” On the other hand, this is fear based in saying to Jesus… “OK, I’ll try something completely out of my experience and culture. I’ll go where you want and do what you need done. I’ll swallow pride and embrace not getting it right and risk the humiliation of starting over.” It’s a fear based in a life dedicated to saying to the Lord, “I want to change this world, help me be that leader that changes things in my world.

    I’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve lead enough stuff to know that fear can be useful. Fear ultimately forces you to the core of what you’re trying to do. Fear forces you to look at the proposition of failure with a knowing grin. I may be afraid of failure but I’ve got enough experience to know what makes a success too.

    3 life lessons I’m applying— If you are in the same boat– I’d suggest these things.

    1- This is no one man show. Not that I’ve ever really run a one man show, per se. But from the onset of this I want to be clear that I’m no more than 1/4th the leader. I wish I had set this rule up 10 years ago!

    2. This is about developing leaders for influence. If I’m going to invest my time in developing leaders, it’s not going to be so that they can be the shift supervisor at Starbucks. This is going to be about something much more important than this.

    3. No more babysitting complacent teens. Since I’m not drawing a paycheck on this thing, I feel less-than-zero pressure to entertain. I want to invest in students, I want to invest in developing leaders. I want to teach God’s Word. And I have the ability to say no to the rest. Fun is always part of the equation. But watching kids be bored with the most exciting stuff on the planet… not my cup of tea.

    More coming on this, I’m sure.

  • Youth Ministry Today

    ymtodaySome months ago I chatted with Tim Baker about utilizing some of my posts from this blog over at Youth Ministry Today. I was happy to see the first one pop up today. I love what they’re doing over there, and if they can take stuff that I write here and make it useful for others… awesome.

    Check it out here.

    One of the things I deeply appreciate amongst various youth ministry organizations is that there may be a perception of competition, but in actuality we all know we’re in the same business. My goal in working in youth ministry is simply to encourage others to keep going. Anyway, it’s fun and I’m interested to see what they will pick to publish next!

  • Ah, ministry to students…

    Before Thursday night, I had spoken to exactly zero groups of high school or middle school students in the past school year. None. Zip. Zilch. For the most past that was intentional. I needed a break.That part of my life felt tired when I left Romeo. The grind of preparing 1-2 talks per week, year after year, really does wear you down. I was also feeling the type of exhaustion that lead me to say repeatedly, “I’m qualified to lead and teach, just too tired.” I’ve been especially thankful to the leadership of our church for being patient with me. They’ve allowed me the freedom to rest!

    So when Chris from Harbor asked me to host and teach his group of summer interns I was a little apprehensive. I always felt rusty after taking a vacation… how would I feel after taking a year off? Plus, I didn’t know any of the students so I couldn’t lean on relationship. Ah, the excuses I had created in my mind for failure!

    It all went great. Kristen completely rocked the hosting part. She made lasagna and salad… keeping it simple always seems to work best. The house was ready, the kids seemed to have a good time. 25 smiling faces when they came, while they were here, and when they left. Success! The only little bump was Stoney getting frisky with some guests. But that’s completely in character for him! The talk part went pretty smooth. If I had practiced a couple of times I wouldn’t have needed my notes at all and I would have had a better feel for some of the material. But I think I maintained their attention and the whole thing was pretty fun. (I was relieved that they actually did the discussion part… I never know how that’ll go.) Hopefully, I gave them something memorable, something worth thinking about, and something applicable to their service when they lead camp next week.

    As I’ve shared, the last year has really jacked with my identity in a good way. Switching from a full time role where my ministry was primarily to students and their parents to a role where I interact with a lot of youth leaders but not a lot of students… it’s given me a chance to think a lot about who I really am in Christ. Am I my work? Is my ministry outside the home more important than inside? What is it like to not be labeled “pastor” anymore? One thing Thursday night reminded me of… I was made to work with high school students. I can do a lot of other things at a high competency. And for this season of my life I am perfectly comfortable not working with high school students vocationally. Yet, this was a reminder that I need to be more intentional and giving in volunteering my service to high schoolers. I’ve got to figure that part. Reality tells me that I don’t have oodles of time. But reality also  tells me that something will be incomplete if I don’t find 3-4 hours per week to do something with high school students.

    That’s what I’m thinking about this Saturday morning. Now off to the beach so Stoney can hump his own kind.

  • Youth Worker Book of Hope ON SALE NOW!

    At work today Mandy handed me an envelope from Zondervan. Holding it, I could feel a lump in it. As I opened it I joked to myself, “Geez, are they paying me in cash these days?” To my delight it was not a bundle of cash, it was my copy of The Youth Worker Book of Hope.

    Out of pure selfishness, I flipped to the table of contents and scanned for my chapter. Sure enough, on page 99 my name is in black and white. For a blogger that is a funny thing to see. I’m used to seeing my name on a computer screen… but printed in a book was a tactile experience I wasn’t quite prepared for. It was emotional and fun. I then dutifully read my chapter as if I hadn’t read it like 20 times before.

    When this project was originally pitched to me I was literally and figuratively thousands of miles from working at YS. As I’ve blogged about before I didn’t have a strong desire to be a part of a book project. When I walk into a bookstore I love seeing books written by people I know, but for whatever reason I’ve never had a strong desire to walk into a bookstore and find a title with my name on it. While my default answer about any book is always “no,” this project was on a topic near and dear to me– encouraging youth workers faced with crisis. That’s what my chapter is about… how do you handle a crisis in leadership in youth ministry. My working title was “what do you do when the crap hits the fan?” How do you deal with being dealt a bad deck of cards as a leader? I’ve been dealt some fun cards… and I jumped on board with this project because I felt like I had a thing or two to help others.

    Of course, the book isn’t about me. It’s about hope. There are lots of chapters and lots of authors sharing stories of how they found hope in hopeless situations. In that regard I think the book appeals to everyone, even people who don’t work at churches. That’s why I want to encourage you to buy the book. (Like right now! It’s only $11.04, you can do it.) It’s the type of book you want to have on your bookshelf for when hard times hit. It’s the type of book you’ll want to hand to a discouraged friend. It’s the type of book you may even want to come back to. Or even reach out and connect with an author.

    Youth Worker Book of Hope

  • Youth workers are nuts

    DSC_0046I guess I’ve always known this. Heck, I know I’ve been nuts a long time. But this weekend I got a lot of glimpses at just how crazy some youth workers are. In fact the craziest youth workers are volunteers who wil bring 45 kids from Kansas to Los Angeles for an event– by car– is absolutely insane. It’s one thing to do that for money. It’s an entirely new level of nuts to take your own vacation time to do that.

    Isn’t it interesting that people who are crazy enough to change the world look absolutely nuts? I suppose that’s a fair assement of an everyday superhero as well? While most sane adults do everything in their power to flee from the presence of sweaty teenagers wondering the streets of Los Angeles, God has created a special group of people who gleefully serve them.

    Acts 2 says: (emphasis mine)

    That’s when Peter stood up and, backed by the other eleven, spoke out with bold urgency: “Fellow Jews, all of you who are visiting Jerusalem, listen carefully and get this story straight. These people aren’t drunk as some of you suspect. They haven’t had time to get drunk—it’s only nine o’clock in the morning.

    DSC_0001People who are faithful, full of the Holy Spirit, and willing to take big risks for the Kingdom of God often look crazy. It’s a good kind of crazy. It’s the kind of nuts that gets me excited.

    This past weekend I was able to watch students get a little nuts too. On the first night they were pretty reserved. This is typical of an event as they are excited and into it– but they aren’t quite willing to look nuts just yet. But by Sunday afternoon kids crowd towards the front in order to express their nut-itude. This is the type of memory they can take home with them and memory bank for the next time they feel awkward about their faith.

    This weekend was a powerful reminder for me that we need more people who are absolutely out of their mind lunatics for the cause of Christ. Not fired up in a fake way. Not full of nonesense. Just legit willing to do whatever it takes. The world needs people who encounter the Word of God, catch a vision for how God wants them to respond, and are crazy enough to lean into its realities in their everyday life.

  • What to Say When the Youth Pastor Leaves

    the-truth

    It’s June. Professional youth ministries most dangerous month. I’ve served in three churches and all the hiring, firing, quitting, and retiring with the youth ministry seems to happen in June. It’s a wicked combination of the end of the school year and for a lot of churches, the end of the budget year. I could offer some theories as to why so many churches hire and fire in June… but that’s not the point of this post.

    “What do we say when the youth pastor leaves?”

    Church leaders: Tell the truth. If the person quit, just say they quit. You don’t have to spin it. Just tell it like it is.

    But if you are firing them, I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to who were fired and then asked to enter into an agreement (never in writing) that for a sum of money they will say that they have decided to quit. Hundreds. If you are man or woman enough to fire a person than be man or woman enough to tell the congregation. You don’t pay severence to someone you are firing to cover up the fact that you are firing them. You pay them severance because they are self-employed and ineligible to claim unemployment benefits. It only makes matters worse when you fire a person and then put on a charade that you are sad to see them go. You throw a party, you say all sorts of glowing things in public when you know full well that you sat in a board room and decided this person needed to be fired. If you lie, your lie will be found out. Your sin will be exposed and the embarrassment you were trying to avoid will come back to haunt you for years. If you made a brave decision as the leadership of the church then it is a sign of your strength as leaders. When you try to wuss out, it shows what kind of leaders you are.

    The truth always wins.

    Church staff: Tell the truth. If the leaders of your church dismissed a person don’t ever lie about it. It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “The leaders decided to go another direction.” You don’t have to go into the specifics of why the person was fired. But don’t participate in the leaders lie if they are trying to spin the truth. That makes you party to the lie! Your corroborating the leaders story and remember, the truth will come out eventually. And remember, this is exactly how you will be treated if they let you go later.

    The truth always wins.

    Youth Pastor: Tell the truth. I have been in your shoes. I know what it’s like to have that meeting where the leaders tell you that you aren’t the person they want pastoring their kids anymore. I have felt my world crash around me in that moment. I’ve looked across that table when they told me what to say. They are going to wave a big check in front of your eyes and you are going to think, “How else can I feed my family? How will I pay my rent? How will I have enough money to get the heck out of here?Just don’t get bought by Satan. Think about it… would Jesus ask you to lie in His name? Not telling the truth is telling a lie! Church leaders who ask you to lie for a little bit of money are doing the work of your sworn enemy. Walk out of that meeting with integrity. Do not cave to their pressure and promise of financial security to further their lie. They will end up offering you the same severance check anyway… because it is the right thing to do and the congregation will demand it. Moreover, your telling a lie to the congregation will only make matters worse. They are trying to get you to take the fall because they know you are leaving the church.

    Candidates for youth ministry positions: Find the truth. Your well-being and the well-being of your family and future ministry depend on you discovering the truth! If you are interviewing at a church you need to talk to the former youth worker. During the interview process ask the search committee about the previous person. Then ask for their email address or phone number so you may contact them. This is 2009, you can find them in 10 minutes on the internet. Be a detective and get to the truth as to why that person left. If there is a lie… don’t take the job. This is precisely how you will be treated. If the previous youth worker was fired and the pastor and the elders participated in that lie, confront them! No matter how good they make that job sound, that entire relationship will be based on lies unless they come clean. Confront their sin and then don’t take the job. Show them what a leader looks like.

    Some may read this and think, “Boy, Adam McLane has a chip on his shoulder about this. You would be correct. I am sick of seeing my friends in ministry asked to lie for a few thousand bucks. I am sick of churches hiding the fact that have fired a person. I am tired of the Bride of Christ doing things that are worse– even illegal— than what happens in the business world. I know that a healthy ministry can only be built on the truth. And it is time to speak up and get some truth out there.

  • Getting Started in Investing, part 3

    money_stuff3

    Hey honey, are you spending more money at the grocery store or something? This was something I found myself saying to Kristen over and over again in our tenure in youth ministry. With a growing family it just seemed like every month we made a little less money. We had a budget. We did our best to control spending. But before we knew it our expenses exceeded our monthly income and we had too much month and not enough paycheck. At first it was $100 here or there. But by the end we found ourselves several hundred dollars per month short each month. This slowly depleted our savings and towards the end, with no savings, we had little choice but to use a credit card to make ends meet.

    In Part 2 of this series we talked about dealing with the monster of debt & savings. But this is how we acquired this debt in the first place! It wasn’t that we didn’t control our spending and lived a lavish lifestyle worthy of acquiring debt. It was that the price of groceries, gas, utilities, and taxes that shot up by 3-4% per year and our income remained stagnant. As years go by this compounded and we actually made less than we thought.

    COLA stands for “Cost of living adjustment.” I need to spell it out because so few of us in ministry never experience it. Some churches try to call it a raise, it is not. Each year actuarialists at the federal government determine cost factors and determine what increase in income you would require in order to maintain the same standard of living. In other words… not getting COLA means that each year you take a pay cut! The assumption by utilities and tax boards is that you will receive this increase, which is why all of your expenses “magically” go up by about that amount each year. It’s not optional or imaginary, it happens.

    Here’s an example of the last 5 years and what a COLA should look like for a typical youth workers income. For someone hired in 2004 with a base salary of $35,000, this is what the last 5 year’s would look like.

    Year COLA Adjusted Income
    Non-Cola Adjusted Income
    2005 (4.1%) $36,435 $35,000
    2006 (3.3%) $37,637 $35,000
    2007 (2.3%) $38,503 $35,000
    2008 (5.8%) $40,736 $35,000
    2009 (6.2% est) $43,262 $35,000

    And this isn’t even considered a raise in salary! This is just to keep up with inflation over the last 5 years. Looking at it from a monthly budget perspective, the difference between a COLA adjusted and non-COLA adjusted income is $636 per month. So if this employee feels like there is a lot less paycheck to go around… it is because there is! They are being faithful to a ministry that is paying them a decreasing amount every month.

    Just to rub some salt in the wound, here is what it would look like if over that same period you averaged a modest 3% raise with your COLA.

    Year COLA Adjusted 3% Annual Raise
    2005 (4.1%) $36,435 $37,485
    2006 (3.3%) $37,637 $39,487
    2007 (2.3%) $38,503 $41,580
    2008 (5.8%) $40,736 $45,229
    2009 (6.2% est) $43,262 $49,391

    Yes, that would mean that this same employee would be taking home $1200 more per month than the employee who did not receive a raise or COLA just 5 years into a tenure. How much more comfortable would you be with $1200 more in your pocket per month? This isn’t excessive, this is just what your peers experience in the business and government sector. This is what your neighbors receive. This is what it is expected you receive.

    In all honesty, this is the difference between a sustainable income that will keep you in ministry for decades and an income that will bury you in financial burden and burn you out in five years. If you want to be in ministry for a long time, you need to get at least a COLA annually or you are accepting a pay cut.

    But my church is in financial trouble, what do I do?

    Listen, I know that no one goes into ministry to get rich. Having worked for years in Michigan I know what its like to work at a church in recession. (Michigan’s recession started in 2005, now it is deep in a depressionary state.) But while the short-term makes sense to take a cut here or there or not accept a COLA or raise… you are really not helping the church. In fact, what you are doing is contributing to the problem by having a staff stressed out with money worries!

    So, what do you do? Some negotiation options. Provide some reasonable alternatives to cutting your pay. (Remember, no COLA is a pay cut!)

    – Tell them no.

    – Tell them to cut somewhere else.

    If they have no choice but to suspend your COLA or even cut your pay here are some options that I would suggest.

    1. Get the leaders to spell out the plan to you.With decreases in monthly giving this is where we are at, this is what we are doing to get things in line.” Find out how your COLA fits into their plan. If they don’t have a plan, ask them to formulate one so your family doesn’t suffer from their lack of foresight. Be a leader to those leaders.

    2. Have the leaders acknowledge verbally that they are asking you to accept a pay cut. Get them to be honest, is this a result of poor performance or is this the result of poor planning, unexpected expenses, unexpected decreased giving, etc. Often times church leaders are so passive-aggressive that they will suspend stuff like COLA or increases because they feel you are under-performing but won’t actually tell you this to your face. If that’s not the case… get them to spell that out to you. Because accepting a pay DECREASE feels a lot like punishment.

    3. If COLA simply isn’t possible, tell them you will accept a suspension of COLA in lew of receiving it now. Ask them to sign a promisary note for their plan. If you didn’t get a 2008 COLA and won’t get a 2009 COLA, that’s a 13% DECREASE in income to you. If they can’t provide you with a 2010 COLA, will they promise you $10,000 in make-up and 3 months notice for you to find a new ministry?

    4. Negotiate for a lesser COLA. The 2009 increase is likely to be over 6%! If they can’t swing it, meet them half way at 3%.

    5. Accept the suspension of COLA as a loan. Again, ask them to enter into a promisary note with you. If they don’t have the increase now allow them the option of paying it back to you over time.

    6. Negotiate for time off to earn income somewhere else. In lew of a COLA for 2008-2009, ask for 4 weeks of paid time off where you can supliment that income by working at a camp, another ministry, or even a part-time job. Would they allow you to work 8 hours less per week so you could get a job at Starbucks?

    Some of these may seem extreme. But remember the goal… your goal is to do ministry for a LONG time. And a big part of being in ministry for the long haul is not constantly being stressed out about money. There are times when you should be meek and humble. But when it comes to feeding your family you should be aggressive to protect them. The reality is that during your career you will earn much less than your peers in for-profit business. Demanding that your ministry pay an annual COLA is hardly robbing a ministry. In fact, it is investing in their most valuable resources… their staff.

  • Getting Started in Investing, part two

    money_stuff2

    Here’s a scenario for you. You are serving at a church and things go sour. I mean, they go really sour. Meetings are arranged behind your back. Students stop coming to events and making excuses to avoid you. Your weekly staff meeting with the pastoral team becomes a finger pointing competition. And all roads are leading back to you. You’ve done nothing wrong but everyone hates you. You leave the meeting and head back to your office. You know your ministry at this church is coming to an end. You have felt it ending for a long time. And you are sweating the reality that a job search is imminent.

    All spiritual realities aside. In these moments, and all vocational people in a church will one day be in these moments, there are two positions you can be in.

    Position A: You can make a rational decision, knowing that you will be financially OK whether you stay at this ministry or not.

    Position B: You can make an irrational decision, knowing that if you get fired you are screwed financially.

    [Of course, I’m simplifying this as there are lots of options.] The point is that when things hit the fan at work you need to be able to make a decision that is ultimately best for you and your family. And being knee deep in debt with no savings is not going to help.

    Having worked in churches for nearly 10 years I know that there is rarely much margin between income and expense. And this makes saving money hard and acquiring debt easy. Add to that mix that many people in youth ministry brought college debts into ministry… and you have a recipe for disaster!

    So, practically speaking, what can you do?

    #1 Most Important Thing: You need to figure out how to get a few grand in the bank. You hear every single personal finance person say this and there is a good reason. Having 2-3 months living expenses in the bank allows you the freedom to make decisions that are best for you and not just what will get you through the next couple of months. Living paycheck to paycheck just leads to you acquiring more and more debt. I believe for folks in ministry this is more important than paying down debts… our jobs are just that insecure. And this goes beyond just job issues. I don’t think you can seriously build a budget until you have this little bit of breathing room.

    With almost no margin, how do I get that much cash in the bank? Some ideas…

    – Sell stuff. Have a garage sale. Have a bake sale. Sell used books on Amazon. Sell your baseball cards on Ebay. Sell your extra car.

    – Make more money. We’ll talk more about this in another post. But practically speaking, if there is no margin between what you bring in and what goes out you will need to find another source of income. For Kristen and I this meant that Kristen watched a child from the church four days a week. It wasn’t much… but it helped us widen the margin. If you’re single… you’ll need to look for alternate forms of income. Again, we’ll talk more about this in part five.

    – Spend less money. That’s easier said than done, I know. Our friends mocked us, but in Michigan Kristen and I learned that by heating our house less we could find a bit of margin. Also, cutting back on things you don’t really use that much can make a big difference. Remember this is just temporary until you get a few grand in the bank. 6 months without DVR or trips to Starbucks will be worth it.

    – Decide a dollar amount to save per paycheck. I take great pleasure in transfering a prescribed dollar amount to savings every payday. But if you lack the discipline to do that, there are more forceful options. If you have direct deposit simply direct a set amount to your savings account so you never actually see it as spendable income! A more manual way to do this is to ask the person who cuts paychecks at the church to write you two seperate checks. One goes in checking and the other goes in savings. If you really lack discipline… go ahead and have the take out your tithe/offering too!

    #2 Most important thing: You need to stop using your credit cards. When Kristen and I got married we didn’t have any debts. About a year later we bought a car and went into debt big time to make it happen. But that wasn’t the really dumb thing. The dumb thing is that a few weeks later I said “yes” to an offer for a Discover Card. That thing has been a thorn in my side ever since. At first we paid it off every month and I only used it for gas purchases. Then, we took 3 months to pay for a laptop. Then we bought some furniture. And started using it everywhere we went. Then the monthly balance was so high I couldn’t make myself pay $1000 per month so we let the debt build a little. Before we knew it, it was almost maxed out and we were screwed! The point is… until you take the first step and take using the credit card as part of your buying habits… it’ll own you.

    – Stop carrying it with you if its a temptation.

    – I like using plastic for every purchase, that’s why I use my debit card.

    – Come up with a repayment plan on your own. Currently, we dedicate one of Kristen’s paychecks to savings and one to paying down debt each month.

    – As you pay down the balance, call the card company and ask them to lower your limit. While you’re at it ask them to lower your interest rate.

    – Try to pay at least double the minimum payment… you need to get the principle down ASAP to incur less interest payments.

    – Once you get a few grand in the bank, turn all your efforts to getting rid of credit card debts. If you have more than one debt, pay the one with the highest interest rate off first.

    #3 Most important thing. Reward yourself! Look, our jobs are hard. And I think some of the reason so many of us get ensnared in debt and no savings is because we overcompensate and reward ourselves too much. I think there is ample reason to celebrate your successes and take time to celebrate. My beef with Dave Ramsey’s style of personal finance is that he’s too aggressive. He sets you up for a fad diet… and once you reach your goals you have starved yourself so much that you are liable to go buy something stupid just because you can. I go for a more reasonable style of savings/debt repayment. I’m OK with it taking a few months longer if it means I make sustainable changes to my life. That’s why we reward ourselves regularly along the way. We save up a little something outside of our “plan” and then do fun things! Our family has a date night each week… it’s frivolous, but it is a nice reward. I think you deserve to treat yourself for doing a good job! I know in youth ministry there aren’t many other people who will reward you, so reward yourself.

    Here’s the good news. Getting a few grand in the bank will probably only take you 6 months if you make it a legit goal. And from there you can turn your DVR and your heat back up! But a little bit of pain is going to go a long, long way for you sustaining in youth ministry into your 30s and beyond.