Month: November 2010

  • Opportunities Stomach

    Photo by Kenji Oka via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.

    Colossians 4:5

    These were the words of Paul to the Colossian church. He was wrapping up his letter to them with a few tidbits of sage advice. Like bits of dessert after a Holy Spirit inspired meal.

    Those words have stuck with me and become part of my self-talk. You know, the little words that run through your head all the time. A lot of people label me an optimist or a glass half full guy. In fact, I label myself an opportunist. I’m constantly asking myself, “Am I making the most of this opportunity?”

    Maybe that’s a spiritual or ministry opportunity? (Paul’s original intent of those words) But maybe that’s an opportunity at work? Or a business opportunity? Or an great idea? The possibilities are as endless as the food combinations at a buffet.

    The Opportunity Stomach

    I’ve found that there is a strategic difference between waiting for the right opportunity and and jumping at every opportunity.

    Think of opportunities like a meal. You are either hungry for it or you aren’t. (Most people aren’t. They just pass on opportunities without even thinking about it.)

    But if I jump on too many opportunities my appetite for really great opportunities wanes. Then, because I waited for the perfect opportunity I tend to lack the experience to know the difference between a choice meal and a cheap rip-off.

    I notice that most people tend to approach new opportunities like they approach their favorite restaurant. They like what they know and they know what they like. So they turn their nose up and almost all new opportunities.

    Whereas, I tend to nibble at a lot of opportunities and save room for the big ones. That way I know what a great opportunity tastes like when it comes along.

    With that said, the only problem with nibbling is that sometimes you get too full for the big meal.

  • The Emotionally Healthy Youth Pastor

    For the past 2.5 years my job has shifted from being a youth pastor to being a cheerleader, encourager, and fan of youth workers around the country.

    And, not surprisingly, I’ve bumped into a lot of youth workers with a shared story. Careers flopping. Getting fired. Financial struggles. And marriages crumbing.

    As you’d expect during a down economy (mixed with a season of re-thinking ministry strategies) there are a whole lot of people in full-time youth ministry who aren’t emotionally healthy.

    But I’ve also gotten to know some pretty happy and satisfied youth workers. They face the exact same struggles in youth ministry but they seem to have figured out how to manage it. (For lack of a better term)

    Rather than share what I think some of the problems are… I thought it would be more useful to share a couple of things that I see, universally, that emotionally healthy youth pastors have.

    Two hallmarks of an emotionally healthy youth pastor

    1. Low ownership of the youth ministry program. They tend to have Sunday school (even if they don’t teach it) and a mid-week program with some events/camps/retreats along the way. They seem less focused on being on the leading edge and more focused on doing what they are good at. They see their role as the leader of the program more than they define themselves as the leader of the program. It’s a profession and they can turn it on and turn it off. It’s not a “it’s just a job” mentality. It’s bigger than that as its a healthy acceptance of their role in students lives.
    2. Belonging to adult community. This is the bigger of the two. We are made for community. Healthy youth workers have more than just a couple of friends they see occasionally. They have community. They have a group of people in their life that don’t see them as the youth pastor but as just another knucklehead in a group of friends. This is being a part of a softball league or a fellowship of star trek geeks or even joining a small group from a church across town.

    The interesting thing about these two hallmarks is that they are completely within the control of the youth pastor. These are things you can actually do and change relatively easily. You don’t even have to tell anyone. You don’t have to preach about it. You can just do it.

    If you are starting to feel like youth ministry isn’t for you. Or if you are thinking that you aren’t really built to do this for the long haul. I’d suggest looking at these two things, first.

  • Michael Jordan Owns Lebron James

    This is a mash-up, but whoa. Awesome and true. Lebron isn’t the king of anything.

    ht to Eric Smith via Facebook

  • The God of My Neighborhood

    We want to change the world!

    We want our church to reach this whole community!

    God is the God of this city!

    [The crowd raises to its feet and cheers as the band begins to play…]

    These are guaranteed anthems to bring a church to its feet.

    But I’m left wondering if our ecclesiology is a little too big?

    “It looks like your eyes were bigger than your stomach.” That’s what my mom used to say when I put too much food on my plate at dinner.

    And I think that’s the strategic error of many churches.

    I know it’s the strategic error of most believers.

    Most churches mission statements tell the people the goal is to reach the world… and when we aim at that we get nearly nothing because it’s too big.

    Isn’t our job to love our neighbors as ourselves and put God first? (Mark 12:28-31)

    Isn’t my job, then, to love my neighbors? Like the ones who live next door? Or down the block? Or maybe as far as around the corner? Isn’t that why God, in His infinite wisdom, placed me in my neighborhood?

    Yes, it is. That is the business God has clearly called you to. He has called you to be good news to your neighborhood.

    Every other type of ministry you do is secondary to that. To take it a step further… every other ministry you have which gets in the way of what Jesus calls the second most important command, is unnecessary. Until you can love your neighbors as yourself you have no business doing anything else. (Yeah, including those who work in churches. I’m looking at you.)

    Step 1: Get to know your neighbors

    Loving your neighbors isn’t hard. You were created in Christ Jesus to do it. It takes no training. And it takes no special skills. This is what you need to do.

    • Get to know your neighbors names. If your yard touches theirs get to know their names. If they are across the street they are your neighbors, too. Each neighborhood is a bit different. But just start with the people immediately around your residence.
    • When you see them… stop and say hello. Talk to your neighbors. These are people God foreknew you to know. You don’t need an agenda, just be friendly.
    • Keep your eyes open and your ears open. When you can see they need help, do what you can.
    • When you need help, ask your neighbors. Sometimes exhibiting some dependency is the perfect open door to getting to know someone.
    • Over time, learn to depend on one another. Maybe your neighbor is a little older and you have a snow blower. Start shoveling the walk. When you go out of town, ask them to pick up the mail.

    As you do this process, the Holy Spirit will begin to reveal to you next steps. Maybe it’ll be to host a neighborhood BBQ? Or maybe it’ll be to help find a lost dog? It could be any number of things… but it probably isn’t to invite them to church or to give them a flyer. God didn’t ask you to bring people to hear the Gospel at your church. He empowered you to bring the Gospel to your neighbors through your love for them.

    What are you waiting for? The power of the Gospel will prevail when you set out to be Good News in your neighborhood.

  • Naming Conventions: Cultural and Family Considerations for Naming a Child

    Naming a child is a big deal. Especially since there is a high likelihood they will be stuck with it the rest of their lives. In an ideal situation a person’s name is one of the top three or four things that they build their lifelong identity around. (Gender, faith, culture, to name a few others.)

    But selecting a name isn’t just about the identity of the child will take on for themselves. It’s also about a few other things…

    • Since the parents chose, the name reflects the parents initially as much as the child indefinitely.
    • The child’s name isn’t alone as it is in pairing with its siblings and other members of the family. They need to make some sense as a group of names.
    • The child’s name has to fit in culturally with it’s peers. Picking a name that is too popular could result in them not having a distinct name. Picking a name that is too obscure could lead to no one knowing what planet you came from!
    • Some names generate stigma just because of other famous people by that name. Some names you say and others automatically associate that name with a serial killer or a rock star.
    • Naming of a child can be a wonderful way to honor a person.
    • Within your friendships you need to make sure you aren’t naming your child someone else’s “dream name.“
    • As a parent, you’ll be uttering this name for the rest of your life. So it needs to be something you like saying.

    Here’s how we picked our first two children’s names:

    Megan Elisabeth – The first Christmas that Kristen and I were dating I bought her a pearl ring that meant a lot to us. Though we only knew one another for 6 months we knew we’d be together for a lifetime. The ring had three tiny pearls. One for each child we’d hope to one day have. (Crazy, I know considering we always wanted three, stopped after two, and then are now having the third.) So as we debated what to name our first child, it kind of all got settled in the symbolism of the name Megan. Greek for pearl. Then I made an executive decision and told Kristen I wanted Megan’s middle name to be Elisabeth, after her. My hope is that one day Megan will grow up to be a woman of God like her mom.

    Paul Garret- This name came long before we were married. Paul & Garret are the patriarchs of both of our families and we wanted to honor them by naming our first son after them. Paul McLane was a man I never met as he passed away a few years before I was born. But I grew up under the legend of Paul McLane. It was clear throughout my childhood that my grandfather was the person who helped hold the whole thing together… and when he passed the whole thing just kind of started spinning out of control. I want my son to be the kind of guy that holds things together. Garret is Kristen’s grandfather. When we met I instantly liked him. I man of few words and great wisdom. To illustrate this man’s heart fast-forward to his final impact. Nearly 1000 people came to visit Garret (Barney, as everyone knew him) at his funeral. And as I stood by and listened to stories they all had the same thread. “You probably don’t know me, but your husband helped me when I was in trouble. He leant me some money to pay my rent.” (Or drove them to the doctor, or visited them when they were sick, or prayed for them when they came to the church after hours and he was gardening.) Oh, that my son would be like his grandfather… quietly serving the Kingdom of God.

    So, when it came to the third child… we were at a loss.

    We had all of this in our minds. And we struggled for nearly six months to find just the right one. Weighing all of this together takes something that seems so infinite and narrows the options. Literally, we talked about it from the day we found out we were expecting #3 until about 2 weeks ago. We tried a lot of things out, thought about it, sat on it, then kicked it to the curb.

    But we’ve finally landed on a names we both love. Weighing in the family considerations, cultural considerations, and even historical considerations. (My family has been in the United States for a long, long time!) We can’t wait to reveal the name. But, of course, we are waiting until he’s born.

    Addendum #1

    From 1995 – 2002 I worked for BlueCross BlueShielf of Illinois creating tens of millions (no exaggeration) of ID cards. In that, I noticed some crazy naming conventions which have totally shaped how we name our children. Here’s the most obvious one.

    The weird name rule: (About 90% of the time, this is true) If a couple has two normal names they are bound to name their first child something abnormal. But if one of the two of them has an abnormal name, their first child’s name will be normal.

    Example #1: Tom and Susan… will name their first child Zoe.

    Example #2: Tom and Zoe… will name their first child Susan.

    Addendum #2

    If you are a web nerd like me, it’s also important that the child’s domain name be available.

  • An Ode to the Cranberry, 2010

    Photo by rjzii via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    Discovered in 1427 by Cardinal Joseph Cran, the cranberry is useful for many things. It is delicious. It is tasty. It is tart. It is good mixed with various other fruits. It floats. It is from heaven. It’s amazing canned shape invites my gobbling. It’s juice keeps away urinary track infections.

    Cranberries are magical.

    More fun facts about cranberries:

    • Cranberry and brain share the same latin root word, cranium. The Romans believed the cranberries tart flavor stimulated the brain.
    • The cranberry has medicinal values. It cures everything from a hangover to gout.
    • Cranberry bogs are protected in Vermont. It is unlawful to visit one without a permit.
    • There is a Cranberry Festival in Iowa in which the Cranberry queen is carried on a litter as citizens stuff cranberries in their cheeks like a hamster.
    • In secret ceremonies, sacrifices are made to the cranberry god in Nova Scotia.
    • It’s a little known fact that the color red in a Canadian Mounties uniform comes from the die of a cranberry.
    • There is even a cult band funded by profits from farmers, The Cranberries.
    • In 2002, George W. Bush invaded Prince Edward Island for the secret stash of the giant cranberry DNA. It’s trade name is nukler.
    • The french word for cranberry is Ponce de León. When boiled, the cranberry releases essential oils originally flowing from the fountain of youth.
    • When John F. Kennedy declared he was a jelly donut in Berlin, the jelly inside his donut was cranberry flavored.
    • At the first Thanksgiving in 1619, the leaf of cranberry trees was rolled and smoked.
    • The female cranberry is separated from the male cranberry in the processing plant. Males are bagged and served fresh. Females are jellied and canned. Left together they would multiply their goodness and overtake the world.
    • Starved for delicious fresh cranberry– Christopher Columbus discovered America. A state secret of Spain, it was recently revealed  that the Columbus party actually had 4 boats. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, and the Cranberry.
    • The red in the United States flag… symbolic of the ancient order of the cranberry… 1749. (Betsy Ross was secretary of the order at the time)
    • It is against the law to serve turkey on Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce in the city of Cleveland, Ohio.
    • Up until 1983, cranberries were acceptable currency in Maine.

    Oh cranberries… you are welcome in my home all the time. But especially in November and December.

    Do you know more fun facts about cranberries?

    Ode to Cranberry, 2009

  • Notre Dame in New York

    I was happy to catch some of the game last Saturday. A big win for Notre Dame. And a great way to bring the game to a core group of awesome fans in the city that never sleeps.

  • Random Acts of Culture

    OK, so this is clearly a staged deal and not a great flash mob. Two things cue you off. 1. The buttons. 2. There have never been that many people in a Macy’s, ever.

    That said, it’s pretty awesome. That’s taking the good news to the people my friends.

    I’d like to see them pull a random act of culture off at an Eagles game.

    p.s. Big ups to them for great marketing. 6 million views on YouTube. Well played.

  • Your Ministry of Discouragement

    Having just spent a week with Christian leaders I came home with a raw heart.

    Surely, I came home tired.

    But I also came home perplexed by our unique ability to discourage one another.

    Speaker shoes

    When I went to my first convention in 2002– the whole thing was weird for me. It all seemed larger than life. The speakers, bands, seminar leaders, and myriad of volunteers all seemed bulletproof. I’d never seen anything like it and…

    They are not. They are no different than you or I.

    Now that I sit in different rooms during NYWC I see the event through their eyes as much as the eyes of those who have driven from all over the country to attend.

    Imagine their perspective. For most, coming to convention is the highlight of their year. They are eager to present. But they are also eager to reconnect with lifelong compatriots, catch a friends seminar, or even to just be with people who remind them that they aren’t crazy. For many first-time speakers and artists it is actually an affirmation of years of hard work to be invited to speak. It’s a really big deal.

    And so they do their thing. (Teach, lead worship, or even perform their talent) They are all the way into it. Their heart is there. They’ve given themselves to countless hours of preparation. They bought a new shirt. They got their nails done. And for a good chunk of them this is the largest audience they’ve ever spoken to. They are feeling big time because it’s one of the few places in youth ministry where we gather to acknowledge big time people.

    And when they complete their task– most are both eager for feedback and too raw to receive feedback constructively. That’s why we’ve created spaces for them to just come and relax. For most, their hearts are just too raw and they need some time before and after.

    This really isn’t any different than when I’ve taught or preached. (Thankfully, I’ve never been in a band!) You leave the platform feeling exposed, you seek out feedback, you want to know that what you did or said moved people or helped somehow or was just good and not bad.

    It’s a raw state that anyone who speaks or performs experiences.

    Inevitably, as folks bump into me, they want to know what people were saying online while they presented. If I’m on my A-game, I’ll have selected and saved a few tweets to share. I’m careful to show them things that will affirm. But folks are savvy and they know that if I’m showing them 1-2 things that there are likely a lot more. So when they ask, I suck at lying, so we look at them all.

    And it’s depressing. You can feel the shoulders slump as they are shown a mirror they weren’t quite ready to look into.

    There are lots of tweets quoting people. Awesome.

    There are lots of tweets about how people feel as a person is singing or speaking. Awesome.

    And there are lots of tweets about flippant things as people try to say something smart so that they can get re-tweeted. Not awesome.

    It’s not awesome. It hurts. It sticks. And it bitters the entire experience. No one wants to read that someone thinks their hairstyle sucks. Or the color of their shirt is wrong for the color of their skin. Or that they look kind of like a celebrity.

    It’s as if we get so caught up trying to out smart-aleck one another that we forget that these are real people who will likely read about themselves on Twitter, or Facebook, or Google. Yeah, when you @reply a person on Twitter it is very likely they are going to see it! Geez, you think?

    That’s the problem. We don’t think. We forget that people are not objects. We forget that this is real life. And we forget that we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.

    This isn’t about convention, it’s about you

    In the same breathe lets acknowledge some truth. Anyone who speaks at convention knows that criticism, even over silly things, is part of the game. It shouldn’t be but it is. And they all get over it.

    And just like when a student comes into our office and rips on us for 20 minutes… we all know that flippant negative remarks aren’t about us. They tend to be about what’s in the heart of the critic rather than style of the critiqued clothing.

    Think about this for half a second: Who called you to a ministry of discouragement?

    Planks

    As I was thinking about this yesterday, I wondered how many people would like the same treatment this week? How would they like it if they taught a Bible lesson on Wednesday night in full knowledge that while they were sharing all of their pupils were having a dialog about their words and trying to one-up one another on Twitter or Facebook.

    What would it be like to teach on Sunday morning, have people shake your hand as they left, and then read that there was a rowdy debate about whether or not you’ve gained some weight.

    You would feel horrible. You would cry out to God, “Why have you called me to minister to these people? Why do I deserve this? I share the message you’ve laid on my heart and all they care about is where I bought my shoes!”

    And yet we do it all the time. Not just at events like NYWC, we do it all the time… all the time! We post some smarty-pants comment about a person not knowing or caring that this same person is going to see our tweet, click on our profile, and think… “Youth pastor at First Baptist, eh? What a jerk!”

    My plank is just as big and as weighty as anyone else. But being common doesn’t make something correct.

    You are entitled to your opinion

    I think there is an important distinction to mention here. There is a distinction to be made between a flippant remark, something sarcastic or a dagger about someone’s attire, and comments made about content. I’ve never known a person to not appreciate feedback on content. Even if it’s in strong opposition to what’s been presented. That’s on-topic and relevant. And I’ve also witnessed some incredible dialog as the result of comments made on content.

    On top of that, when you pay to attend something you feel empowered to judge it. You watch television for free and when something isn’t to your liking you just change the channel and get over it. But when you pay to see a movie that you don’t like and you feel a responsibility to tell other people.

    I get that. And I affirm that. You’re entitled to like or not like something. But you aren’t at liberty to tear down for the sake of making yourself look good. It is one thing to not like a movie. It’s an entirely different thing to make fun of someone who came to encourage you.

    Change is needed

    As I sat and thought about this phenomenon while coming home yesterday, I just couldn’t get two things out my mind.

    First, a passage of Scripture I memorized long ago.

    Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them. Ephesians 5:1-7

    Second, a song we sing with children.

    O be careful little mouth what you say

    O be careful little mouth what you say

    There’s a Father up above

    And He’s looking down in love

    So, be careful little mouth what you say

    O, that we would be a people known for lifting people up instead of tearing them down.

  • One Sexy Beast

    Man, I was smoking hot back in the day. (circa 1991-1992) Just as humble as today just twice as young.

    Backstory to the picture above:

    Over the last few months I’ve gotten reconnected with Joanne via Facebook. (pictured above) We went to First Pres in Mishawaka together back in elementary, middle, and some of high school. And we also shared a common bond of the same church camp each summer.

    As these things are prone to happen… we lost track of one another. And, as Facebook is so good at doing, we have gotten to catch up. At one point it even looked like we were even going to be able to meet-up in Port-au-Prince this summer. We were both looking forward to reliving some old silliness from a mission trip we did to Tennessee. (I remember little else of that trip than yelling “he haw!” at people passing in cars and the drive to/from Appalachia.)

    Last week Joanne sent me this picture. It cracked me up. First, it cracked me up because I had no idea why we were in this picture together. (Apparently, we went to a dance together in 10th grade. I don’t think we ever “went out” so we must have gone as friends.) Second, it cracked me up because I was so self-conscious in high school, looking back at my former self, I had nothing to be self-conscious about. Third, it cracked me because of how stinking young we were!

    Do you have an old picture from a high school dance? If so, post it and share the link.