There has been a lot said and written about protecting yourself from allegations and improprieties lately. Especially with the sex scandal of the Catholic church looming large in the minds of Americans. This is further developed in the media who rarely portrays pastors as normal people. They are often portrayed as sex craving hypocrites. The movie “Saved” pretty much nails the stereotype.
What this means to a pastor like me is that I have to constantly be overly careful. Even a few years ago this merely meant that I shouldn’t do anything alone with a female student. But this is now being extended to mean that I shouldn’t ever do anything alone with anyone. Should I feel guilty about being alone with my wife? Afterall, she is a volunteer staff person. Oh my goodness, Pastor Adam has sex with a volunteer! News at 11.
This is manifesting itself as we prepare for the Northern Ireland mission trip. As part of the trip, I have always wanted to have both a male and female leader go with our students. In this particular trip, the adult leaders role is very minimal since we are turning over the reigns of leadership to YFC from the onset. Yet I have always felt it was a good idea to take along a female leader just to be there for our girls. The rub with this is that some “old hens” have decided it doesn’t “look good” for a pastor to travel with a group of students and a single woman.
On the one hand, it’s my fault since I took what I had heard as a rumbling and took it to the deacons to think about before it manifested itself as a problem. To me, the whole thing would go away with a little education about this particular trip. It didn’t.
Now it is clear that the deacons want 2 females to go on the trip to watch over everything like nuns. [OK, that’s an exaggeration!] Actually, there first preference is that Kristen go. This can’t happen. The second preference is that I take two unmarried females with me. As if it there were strength against sin in numbers? The 3rd preference is that I go alone with the students. This flies in the face of both the churches policy as well as the parents “safety button.” The last preference is that the students go alone. But who wants that?
There must a line. There has to be a point where we are exercising caution but not being legalistic. We should be safe, but still leave room for God to act and speak. We should attempt to be above reproach while acknowledging that we are always sinners and always capable to sin.
I suppose this is an entry of frustration. I don’t see why this is an issue. I understand the issue, yet I don’t like to see ministry inhibited by the sinful thoughts of others. At the same time, if we don’t respond to the issues then they think we are being shaddy and not “above reproach.”
Praise God for responsive and action oriented leadership. This is one of those cases where I know I could fight for and win my point of view… But it isn’t worth fighting over. I could win this battle yet cost myself too much collateral damage along the way.
See, I do learn.
Leave a Reply