From the News of the Weird

This is from Chuck Shepherd’s excellent column, The News of the Weird.

Least Competent People

A 39-year-old man in Chillicothe, Ohio, was hospitalized in December after an unsuccessful suicide attempt that accidentally blew his own house to pieces and did heavy damage to neighboring homes. The man had turned on the natural gas to kill himself, but then realized that other houses might be in danger, and just as he dashed to the basement to turn off the electricity, the house exploded (probably from an electrical spark) and was leveled. A month before, the man had tried to kill himself with automobile exhaust and a garden hose, but his car ran out of gas before he could die, and he then hooked up a propane tank for the same purpose, but once again, he outlived his fuel supply. [Chillicothe Gazette, 12-7-04]

Now, I’m not for people killing themselves. But this is quite a scene. This guy is the “unbreakable” of the suicide world. He tried to kill him self with his car… Runs out of gas. He tries to kill himself with his grill… Runs out of gas. You would think that if would really want to do himself in he would give up on gas-power killing him? Perhaps he would try something more conventional? No, apparently this guy was so incompetent and enthralled with going up in flames that he had to blow up his neighborhood and in the process, not kill himself.

This guy must have some hope. Three times he has come up with “fool-proof” plans to leave this planet and three times he has come up famous. Maybe he should read into that? Maybe it’s not his time to go!