horny teenagers

Written by

Adam McLane

in

One of the most annoying problems of being a youth pastor is constantly dealing with issues of adolescent sexuality.

Here are the normal things I deal with…

  1. Puberty issues. I’m fat, I’m tall, I’m small, I have pimples, my boobs are too small, I have no pubes. Yada yada yada.
  2. My parents don’t understand dating. What a load! No, they get it and generally speaking, the stricter they are on you the more promiscuous they were as teenagers. They get it, you’ve got hormones and you are intent on using them.
  3. I like someone in the youth group. Yes, I hate inter-youth group dating. It comes and goes in cycles of youth ministry… Thankfully I haven’t had this come up in about 3 months. This means I am due any day now.
  4. I like her, she doesn’t like me. This usually has to do with the “long shot” and I have Hollywood to thank for it.
  5. No, you did not invent sex or being horny in high school. Adam & Eve got to claim “we discovered sex” and I’m sure it wasn’t too long after that that someone discovered oral and all manners of fun things besides. Yes, if you are fondling one another it is sex… and I don’t think you can call yourself a virgin… at least not a totally pure one, OK?

But… This week has started off with a bang! So far, in the last 12 hours, I’ve gotten to deal with two similarly annoying problems.

  • Girl/Boy “accidently” sleeping next to each other at a youth event. I want to kick myself in the butt for this one. I sent a girl to the girls room to sleep. I went to sleep. She went and slept next to some boy and got yelled at. Great, now I have to kill her.
  • Girl dating older man, “is it OK if we cuddle in bed?” No… You think you are stronger than sex… But hormones and desires will result in nakedness, bumping around, and guilt everytime. It’s always a bad idea to snuggle under the covers with someone you love unless you are married!

I love to tell our new Senior Pastor this stuff. It makes him realize that he needs someone like me. Ugh.

Note to anyone unmarried: Keep your pants on until you get married. It will solve a lot of problems. Sure, sex is fun for the 3 minutes it lasts… But it’s hell after that and worth the wait.

Comments

7 responses to “horny teenagers”

  1. No-Name Avatar
    No-Name

    Amen! 🙂

    Reply
  2. foreverchanged Avatar
    foreverchanged

    Dude….it must be spring….

    Reply
  3. sarcastrix Avatar
    sarcastrix

    Ha! You should come to my church and talk to all the horny adults. Believe me, it doesn’t get any easier when when you’re late 20s and early 30s and still not married!

    Reply
  4. Steve Avatar
    Steve

    One of the issues I wrote about on my blog is that for some reason I don’t possess such extreme “horniness.” Perhaps it’s some sort of medical condition, but I’m not complaining for treatment. I realized rather quickly that not needing to have sex every day eliminates a lot of complicated problems from life.

    And you have time to concentrate on other, more important, things.

    -Steve
    Games are for Children

    Reply
  5. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Don’t you think you are being a little harsh? Is it truly as bad as you say?

    Reply
  6. PA Avatar
    PA

    Don’t you think you are being a little harsh? Is it truly as bad as you say?

    Not sure what this means. Am I being harsh about students making huge mistakes with their sexuality in middle adolescence? No. Show me one study that shows that sex is good for middle adolesence.

    But as for the tone of the post, it’s a frustration born post. There are oodles of sarcasm implanted.

    Reply
  7. foreverchanged Avatar
    foreverchanged

    Yeah, I would say it is really that bad. I have thirteen year alod girls ready to throw themselves at any boy that appears mildly interested. It is really sad and disturbing to watch.

    I feel the frustration!

    Reply

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