Ugh
There is trouble brewing in River City. It feels like the honeymoon is ending for PB and there appear to be some conflicts coming out of the woodwork. Since he’s been on staff for the last 6 months he’s been able to bully people and get away with it because “he’s the new pastor.” Well… That had to end sooner or later!
At any rate, I feel stuck on one that is going on right now. A couple has become a pain in the butt, not to be too frank, and they are going to have to be dealt with on eggshells. I love this couple and I think it can be resolved… But I also this resulting in them getting more worked up and starting a fight.
How to put out a fire… Two methods
I’m not an expert on putting out fires, but I have learned there are two ways to handle it in the church that I like to use.
- Mount a full on offensive against it. This means calling on all the means of your power in the church and confronting the parties head on. This would be the fire equivalent of putting a house fire out with a helicopters bucket! It’s a tour de force.
- Put some parameters on them and let the fire burn itself out. Essentially, this just means that you, as a leader, let it go. You let the person know you see why they are upset. You agree to disagree and ask them not to spread gossip, and you let them be. This provides enough space in the relationship for the fire to burn itself out and both parties get over it.
To me, there is wisdom in using option 2 more often than option 1. Option 1 is so extreme and so aggressive that it sends a message to everyone in the church… And that’s not a message I am comfortable with. My opinion is that when there is conflict between two people both parties bear some responsibility for causing the conflict so option two works better most of the time. But option 2 also takes more patience!
I am really worried that this thing could blow up big time…. Double ugh!
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