A couple of things that have been on my mind in the last few days.
When I was in Northern Ireland things were much slower. OK, they were really, really slow. But at the same time I was able to really sit around and think through things. The freedom of time [boredom] allowed me the freedom to rest in my thoughts. It allowed me to hear God in the silence of my day. Long morning walks were like fresh air to my “near burnout.” [Kind of like being “kind of pregnant.”]
Then it all crashed down in the corridor of Detroit’s airport. Reality hit me in the face like a slab of meat. Busyness came back. Hectic schedules and overworked job responsibilities came swirling back. Ministry became a job again instead of a joy. family became something 24/7 and not something I miss. Contacts needed to be made. Houses had to be looked at. Bills to be paid. Appointments to be rescheduled. Lessons to prepare.
As my first “post 5mile” week comes to a close I am left spinning. OK, I am realing from the load of stuff piled on me. And I want out. I am sick of ministry being a job. I want it to be like it used to be for me… something I looked forward to. It’s not that I hate what I do… but at the same time it is depressing that ministry is what I do. It sounds kind of weird, but it comes from the reality that being a professional minister is hard and sometimes… especially when you are tired… you want out.
Those who have read this rant before know that I always resolve it with a simple statement: Satan has a special “ministry” just for those in ministry.
Here is what I am resting on during this period of stupidity in my life:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Leave a Reply