Adam McLane

A fatherless generation

Check out Chris Brooks thoughts on a fatherless generation:

I had the
distinct privilege today of chaperoning Selah’s year end field trip. We
went to a park for 4 hours; 14 1st graders! It was really quite an
experience. I don’t quite have the words to explain it. There was one
particular theme that kept coming up as I was talking to these sweet
little kids, regardless if they were male or female; Asian, Indian,
African-American, or white. The common thread? A lack of a father
figure. I was shocked by what I was hearing. "Can it really be that
bad" I kept asking myself? Yep. It can. And it is. Fatherlessness is an
epidemic in our Nation. I had kids literally hanging all over me all
day long. They were fighting to hold my hand as we walked from the
playground to the bathrooms. Many were young girls, and the pain I saw
in their eyes and heard in their voices caused me to reflect on young
ladies (teenagers) I know who are oversexed and undereducated – and
who, coincidentally, have a father vacuum in their world.

This led me to two thoughts this morning…

  1. Is our church doing enough to reach the fatherless? James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father
    accepts as pure and faultless is this:     to look after orphans and widows
    in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
  2. What are the long-term effects of a generation of fatherless boys and girls?

A postlude:
I could argue that I grew up partly fatherless. My dad and I had a weekend relationship my entire childhood… but yet I turned out OK. What’s the balanced thinking here? From my own perspective there were as many or more messed up kids from "perfect homes" as there were from "broken homes." Christian logic makes it seem that kids without dads in their lives are doomed and yet I could give hundreds of examples where that isn’t the case. On the flip side, clearly God’s ideal for a child is a father and mother. Where does the rhetoric end and the reality kick in? What does it take to raise a "good kid?" Seems like a rhetorical question, doesn’t it?

The "answer" isn’t mom or dad. The answer is God.

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3 responses to “A fatherless generation”

  1. C Brooks Avatar
    C Brooks

    Adam,

    I am glad that you turned out OK. We need more guys like you handlin’ their business with their vocation, family, and commitment to Christ. (Not in that order) In Urban America the statistics are staggering. In my neighborhood in Chicago, 50-75% of households have no father present. Often there is another man in the picture – but he is usually not the kind of guy you want around your kids, if you can read between the lines. Abuse, neglect, poor modeling…the list goes on and on.

    One thing I am confident of is this: God wants every kid to have 2 healthy, committed parents in their lfe. If one dies or leaves, then the other one can be strong and successful – but 2 is God’s best plan.

    Props to the married couples holdin’ it down in the midst of struggle. Props to the single parents doing double duty! Props to those trying to get it right.

    Reply
  2. adam Avatar
    adam

    Absolutely Chris. I just wanted to give two perspective. In no way would I ever argue that because some turn out OK, single parenting (or grandparenting) is OK. It’s far from ideal.

    It’s my hope that I would be the type of dad and church leader who models and DOES WHAT I CAN to stand in the gap for children without dads.

    Just because I turned out OK doesn’t justify the sin’s that led me to that predicament. Instead it points to the grace of Jesus. Because DESPITE my “lack of a consistent father” God still uses me.

    One thing I like to point out to other “fatherless” or nearly fatherless kids I know… there are many examples from the Bible of men and women who did great things for God despite their less than ideal circumstances. Case in point: Timothy!

    Reply
  3. Jeremy Avatar
    Jeremy

    You turned out OK? HA! Not according to that cow-suit.

    Fatherlessness is certainly a big problem. About half my group come from a single-mother household. And it takes some serious time and testing of the waters to win over their trust as a man. Tough stuff.

    Reply

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