The biggest in-every-ministry dip that is obvious to me is the time period after the “honeymoon” is over. There are a couple of different ways to approach this:
First – work hard at extending the honeymoon! Don’t take advantage of the good will that people usually grant the newbie and you can extend your honeymoon by months (or even years). Be authentic in your relationships and your work from the very beginning (from the first inquiry into a position on.) Being real is one of the primary keys to a longer (or indefinite) honeymoon period. During this time when people think you are AWESOME – go for it. Make sure you are actually doing the ministry to which you’ve been called. Don’t mess around or waste time in this wonderful segment of time that has tremendous growth potential for both you, your relationships and your ministry.
Second – recognize that when the honeymoon is over – well, it’s over. Don’t mourn it – embrace this time of readjustment by powering through the higher expectations. Often something to do with relationships is the point at which one begins to walk into the “dip” and how a person handles that is huge. Stepping back to get some perspective on the web of relationships you’ve developed in this new place will help you evaluate how those relationships are impacting the ministry you do. Are they healthy relationships? Do the people you spend the most time with encourage you or do they criticize you? When you receive criticism, is it with a humble heart or are you angry? All of these questions will point you toward your strengths and weaknesses in relating to those with and for whom you do ministry.
Finally – realize that you are not always right! No one is. So when people sense that they know you well enough to make suggestions or to offer appropriate criticism – do your very best to take it in from the perspective of one who WANTS to do better (be more effective, etc.) When a person brings an opinion to you – positive or negative – they are risking something in your relationship. Make it worth their risk by considering what part of what they suggest might have merit (maybe all of their suggestion has merit!) When people are actually heard and their ideas responded to, well, what a difference in the big picture buy-in to your ministry.
Climbing up out of the dip is a whole lot easier if there are people with you and in front of you to point you to the steps or to lend a hand.
Mary Beth McCandless is Coordinator for Family Ministries at First Presbyterian Church, Elizabethtown, KY.
Sponsored by: Raising Lazarus: A Fund for Hurting Youth Workers.
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