Stress of coming home for the holiday’s

College AngstWe don’t have a lot of students away from home for college. But for those who go away, I recognize this as a tough time for young adults. (and parents)

The students perspective: You live on your own.  You eat your meals with friends when you want. You take care of your stuff on your own. You clean your room when you and your roommate decide to. Essentially, you make your own rules on things like coming home and going here or there. You are coming home for a vacation of doing nothing… a reward for a hard semester. For most college students they feel like they’ve learned to manage this pretty well. Even if they aren’t good at it they are used to the freedom. It’s all about independence.

The parents perspective: You may be a young adult but you are still my child. You aren’t renting the room, you are a member of a family.  You’ll abide by our rules. You’ll tell us when and where you are going. (Just like high school.) You’ll keep your room clean. You’ll eat with the family. You are expected to be productive when you are home. It’s all about being a part of the family.

This is a recipe for stress.  The college students want to express new found freedom and parents want things to be like they were before.

So, how do you manage this stress? What are some suggestions I could give to students home for the holiday? What is some advice you’d give to parents stressed out by their children being home? 

Comments

One response to “Stress of coming home for the holiday’s”

  1. Kim Avatar

    Well, I imagine the best place to start is communication. Parents should sit down with their kids and talk about their expectations then give their child the same opportunity. Agree to a compromise. Maybe the bedroom can stay messy as long as the door is shut, or perhaps deciding which meals would be more important to share together. That way, both get a little of what they would like in the arrangement, but both don’t feel over stressed.

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