My 4 goals as a small group leader

As a youth ministry volunteer here’s what I’m not able to do. 

• I don’t guide the programming or the overall things we do in our ministry.
• I don’t guide what’s taught.
• I can’t control the environment, how the room looks or feels.
• I don’t know every student that comes, I struggle to remember the names of the guys in my group.
• I can’t be at every youth group event or activity, much less attend sporting events or just randomly show up like I did when I was in full-time church-based ministry.

In truth, just showing up on Wednesday night for a few hours is about all I’ve got to offer the high school ministry. It is important to me. At the same time, just being blunt, helping in the high school ministry is not my number one priority these days… it’s not the trump card it was when I was on staff at a church or even when Kristen and I were volunteers in our mid-20s.

My 4 Goals as a Small Group Leader

So that’s my reality. I have a few hours per week to give. It’s not much, certainly not nearly the same as when it was my full-time job, but I’m am determined to make them count.

So here’s what I can do. Here’s my goals when I’m helping to lead my high school small group.

1. I can make it about them. The guys in my small group aren’t there to hear me talk. They aren’t there to hear about my week or what I’ve got going on. They are there to grow in their walk in Jesus and my  goal is to make our time together about them and their walk. Consequently, I’m really careful to act as a guide in my group and not a lecturer. Goal # 1: Shut up.
2. I can make my co-leader better. Frankly, it’d be easier for me just to lead my small group. I’ve been doing it a long time, I’ve got a degree in youth ministry, I’ve got years of experience training small group leaders. But… that’s not helping my co-leader, Mark, get the experience he needs. (I’m fully aware that Mark in his early 20s is more relevant to the guys than I am at 37. They’ll listen to him better than they’ll listen to me.) I can steer things along when needed but I’m intentional about sitting in the co-leader spot and letting Mark lead. Goal number #2: Set-up Mark to win.
3. The students are the content, not the piece of paper. I love Brian and trust that his team is intentional/prayerful about the content they are asking our small groups to talk about. But when our guys gather I always take the temperature of the group and respond to that before I get too serious about pushing content. I look at the content we’re given as fall-back, it’s what we do if something else doesn’t pop-up that’s to be explored. Goal #3: Be the adult in their life that listens.
4. Thinking about something is the win. I never want my guys to walk away going, “Dang, Adam knows a lot about the Bible.” Instead, I want them walking away thinking about something we’ve talked about. The reason I know a lot about the Bible is that I’ve been fortunate enough to be around people who both caused me to think about stuff and challenged me to find out for myself. They won’t do that if they walk away with all the answers. I’ll point them in the direction of where to go to find answers, but they need to seek truth on their own, my job is to fill them with questions. Goal #4: Send them home thinking about something enough to look on their own.

Each week, driving home from small groups, these are 4 things I evaluate: Did I talk too much? Did I set Mark up to win? Was I responsive to the groups needs? Did they go home thinking about something?

With all that I can’t control in our ministry… these are 4 things that I can control and on me.

Questions: What do you think about my goals? What are your goals for leading small groups? What’s something I could add? What’s something you think is dumb?