Category: Culture

  • A culture of fear

    walk-to-schoolLast night I got a Facebook wall post by a former neighbor and childhood friend. He posted some Google Streetview links to the places where we grew up, including the elementary school that we walked to. It didn’t take me long to get curious about our daily walk to and from James Madison Elementary School. I was a bit surprised to see it pop up and say .7 miles.

    When I thought out my daughter, entering 3rd grade, I thought to myself “there is no way I’d allow Megan to walk .7 miles to school without an adult!“It’s too dangerous. Too many bad things could happen. Plus we would worry all day wondering if she ever even made it to school. Couldn’t the school call me when she got there? Would someone call the police on us for letting her walk?

    Isn’t that an odd reaction? My mom was not cruel in making me walk to school. Nor was she considered a bad parent for not driving me. In fact, all the kids in my neighborhood walked to school! She would have been seen as a bad parent if she had driven me each day. Culture in 1980s permitted– demanded that kids walk to school.

    But the world is way more dangerous than it was when you were a kid, Adam! crime-rate

    That was my first reaction, too. Until I did some research and discovered that our country is much safer today than it was in 1985. While there is a general assumption in our psyche that things aren’t as safe as they were when we were kids… in fact, the world is a safer place. Less violent crime. Less petty crime. Even less violent crime against children.

    The culture of fear in America

    So why is it that we live in a safer society today but I would never allow my children to walk to school unattended? Why is it that it seems ludicrous to allow an 8 year old to walk to school with some friends? Why is it that I would be viewed as a horrible parent if I allowed her to do that?

    The answer is that in the last 10 years we’ve allowed a new cultural more of irrational fear for our children to creep in. It wouldn’t be illegal for my child to walk .7 mile to school but it would feel wrong.

    Culture mores are not always logical.

    Cultural mores are not always reasonable.

    Cultural mores are sometimes counter-productive for a society.

    When I think back to my childhood most of the good stuff happened as a result of long periods of time without parents. We walked to school, we were at school all day, and when we came home we played with our friends. We spent epic amounts of time in trees or playing games or creating sandlot baseball tournaments. Now we take our kids to school, ask the teacher to report their behavior to us, and barely allow them any unsupervised time without us. In effect, normative parenting skills inhibit a childhood like I had.

    Remember getting on  your bike and riding around the neighborhood all day?

    Remember going to the park with no adults around?

    Remember disappearing into the woods to build forts?

    All gone. Not because we live in a society that is more dangerous or litigious. But because culture has taken these things away.

  • Free vs. Paid Content in the Church

    free

    Whether you are aware of it or not, there is a raging battle going on about the concept of free vs. paid content on the internet. Big names in media like Rupert Murdoch have drawn the line in the sand– they are going to make people pay for news content. Others have embraced the Google model of an advertising-based system of free content. Last week Seth Godin took the debate to a new level. He is firmly in the free camp while Malcolm is in the the paid camp. Of course, most of Seth’s income comes from consulting, speaking, and book proceeds– so Seth may be in the free camp for some things, but his paycheck comes from paid content too.

    Inside the church the same debate has just begun. And all of these questions lead back to the same two central questions that newspapers are wrestling with, “Since creating content isn’t free, who is going to pay?” “In a world of free content, where is the ethical line?”

    Two Sides to the Content Coin

    1. Gospel-oriented content should be freely available. As someone who has successfully started an internet business in the last five years I know the power of free. Ask Tim Schmoyer. Ask Ryan Nielsen. Nothing draws traffic to a youth ministry website quite like free. In the youth ministry world there is an expectation of free content. There is a righteous indignation when you question the ethics of free, too. No one cares that it costs me thousands of dollars to create, host, and market “free” content. There is a general consensus that stuff about youth ministry should be free and you shouldn’t expect anything in return for free lessons, videos, music, etc. “Don’t ask me to click on an ad. Don’t ask me to sign up for a newsletter. I need something free because I don’t have budget to buy stuff.” I’ve gotten nasty emails from folks who insist that all content about ministry should be free. These same people often are in paid ministry. So they want to get paid for using someone’s free content. Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too! Sheesh.

    2. Gospel-oriented content should cost something. Of course, the ironic thing about the free thing is that the people who think ministry content should be free want to get paid by their churches, ministries, or non-profits. If I told you that you shouldn’t get paid for being a youth pastor you’d get angry with me! There is a certain immaturity to the free thing. At the end of the day there is no such thing as free content on the internet. Someone sits down to write something, they save it as a PDF, they post it on a website, and they offer it for free to anyone who wants to download it. It seems free when it isn’t. That computer cost you something. The education that powered your thoughts cost you something. The time you spent creating it… was it for work you were being paid for at the church? If so, does that content even belong to you? If it was your free time, isn’t that time worth something? If you don’t think your time is worth something why should I use your stuff? When you posted it somewhere on the web, who paid for that server space? If it’s on a well-known site, who is paying for the building of that site/brand? Who is paying for maintaining it? If you added graphics to the content, who paid for that? If you had someone proofread it, who paid for that persons work? That doesn’t seem free to me.

    There is no such thing as “free” content, even Gospel-oriented content, so people should expect to pay something for the works they use. The real question is, “Who should pay?” In the old media world the user was expected to pay for the content. You subscribed to a newspaper to get the content and the profit in the model came from advertising. You wanted a book so you went to a bookstore and bought it. In the 1980s and 1990s most of us in ministry would have thought it immoral to copy books and give them to friends, copy cassette tapes and give them to students, etc. But now there is an expectation that advertising will somehow pay for all the content I want/need. That’s the new media age. Free to me, let advertisers foot the bill. Wouldn’t it be funny to see a pastors salary supported by advertising? He’d preach in an outfit that resembled a Nascar driver’s suit! It’s always funny to think about real world applications of stuff we do on the internet everyday, isn’t it?

    Digital media has created an ethics dilemna for people in ministry, hasn’t it? There seems to be a feeling that the parable of the talents can’t possibly relate to actual money. People who advocate for free content will concede… “It’s OK to break even, just don’t get rich!” So if content cost me $500 to produce a lesson… why is it wrong to want to return $1000? (Like the parable) Don’t you remember the parable… Jesus called the man who just broke even a wicked and lazy servant. What then would Jesus say to people who intend to invest $500 in content and give it away? Super wicked and super lazy?

    We would never walk up to an auto mechanic and expect him to change our oil for free simply because we are in ministry. We would never go to the dentist and insist that he give us free dental. We would never go to the grocery store and expect the grocer to pay for the pastors food. And yet we have no problem with this when it comes to Gospel-oriented content. Something is out of whack, isn’t it?

    As with all things that seem to leave us in a quandry– I am wondering if there is a 3rd way. Is there a way that is both ethically satisfying and free? Is there a way that is both affordable for ministry folks and pays for itself?

    Chime in. I don’t pretend to have all the answers. If you’re in the paid camp– speak up! If you think everything should be free, give me a counter-punch.

  • Dominant Culture in Evangelicalism

    what-is-cultureI’m now a few chapters into Andrew Marin’s Love is an Orientation. I have to tell you I am fascinated by two aspects of the book.

    1. How much homework Andrew has done. He knows his stuff. He knows the GLBT culture pretty well (from what I can tell) and he definitely knows Evangelical culture pretty well.

    2. How much missiology he pours out. This captures my imagination! Viewing the GLBT community as a different culture helps me, a ton!

    The thing that has jumped out to me so far the most has been the concept that white evangelicals dominate the church. In essence, our cultural mores  control much of our church, dominate the culture, and define the agenda.

    At the church we go to the leaders really get this concept and fight hard to push back against “white evangelical expectations.“The result is a church that is ethnically reflects the neighborhood we worship in.

    Here are a couple things that I see us fighting for cultural reasons.

    – The service will be tightly scheduled, so as to look and feel like we know what we are doing. To our Hispanic, African-American, and Souteast Asian brethren this just doesn’t work!

    – The church should offer programs that are both entertaining and educational for children and youth. I see this as the biggest struggle our church faces. It’s an expectation of white evangelicals, but not as strong of a value to the other cultures we worship with. As a youth ministry person I see this struggle with parents of the people we’re reaching. The key is going to be creating a youth ministry that compliments the mission of the church.

    – The music should be easy to sing. Yeah, this isn’t the case in our church by a mile.

    – Small groups should be clusters of people just like me. Yeah, this isn’t happening and I hope it doesn’t.

    See, there is much power in the dominant culture recognizing their position and making room to be uncomfortable for the sake of the Gospel. It is silly to expect other cultures to assimilate to us simply to hear the Gospel message!

    No one would applaud a missionary who went to Africa and forced converts to sing Chris Tomlin songs in English, preach in English, and wear Western clothes. We would call that missionary a fool. We would pull his funding. And yet we applaud white evangelical pastors for creating churches who are comfortable only to other whites?

    I have been a part of churches who made legitimate efforts to bridge cultures on Sunday mornings and I have been a part of churches who were ambivelent.

    The question is: What are the things that churches need to be cognizent of as they reach out to various cultures?

  • Bad news for suburban kids

    graduation-dayIn the next few weeks millions of high school seniors will hear their name called and walk across the stage to recieve a high school diploma. There is an interesting phenomonon on graduation day that I’d like to point out.

    Kids in the city are typically pretty excited about the achievement. In the city graduation rates are typically lower and there isn’t the same assumption that every child will graduate. Consequently, everyone is more excited and a city high school graduation ceremony is truly a celebration. Parents go nuts when they hear their kids name called. And students literally do backflips when they get their paper.

    Kids in the suburbs are typically excited about graduation for other reasons. It’s assumed they will graduate so the ceremony carries an air of “farewell to my friends” more than a true celebration of achievement. Parents take pictures and clap politely as their children achieve something they fully expected their child to achieve. Rather than this being a moment to celebrate, students are anxious about how much they will get at their graduation party or hoping to get to go to the hot girls party. It’s a nice day but lacks the flamboyance of the party in the city.

    That’s not the bad news.

    dorm-lifeThe bad news is that kids from the city are going to kick the kids from the suburbs butt from here on out! While their richer, more priveledged peers wallow away their days coming up with new ways to not work, take advantage of their parents wealth, and essentially avoid responsibility as long as possible, all while piling up tens of thousands of dollars in college debt. Kids from the city are taking advantage of the system and running laps around their advantaged peers.

    Let’s contrast things.

    1. The typical “rich white kid from the suburbs” goes to college on a combination of his parents dime and college loans. Almost none work significant hours. (20 hours per week or less seems to be the norm) They waste time professionally. They are so busy playing, going to class, and hanging with their friends that they skirt by classes without taking them seriously. I’ve met countless affluent college kids who passed all of the tests but didn’t learn a thing in 4 years of college. They graduate with $40,000 in debt and no real life experience. Without a job they move back home and hope that someone will give them a job. I’ve even witnessed these affluent college kids chose to live at home and make no money while skipping opportunities to take entry-level jobs at places in their chosen career path. The assumption is that the system will work for them. One day they will magically wake up from a video-game-induced dream get their dream job and make loads of money. The truth is they don’t know how to work hard to earn good money as they’ve never been forced to innovate solutions or hustle to make rent money. In fact, with the mom/dad fall-back plan there is no motivation to strive to achieve anything. They will always have a roof over their head, they will always have food in the belly, a car to drive, and someone to care for them. And even more true is that the silent racially lopsided system doesn’t work like that anymore. While they were watching The Hills, kids from the city took the upper hand.

    2. The typical “working-class minority kid from the city” goes to college on a combination of scholarships, work study, and summer jobs. While their more affluent peers weren’t looking, their ACT and SAT scores have caught their suburban peers and the system rewards minorities who compete academically with rich white kids. In other words, a Hispanic student from the city will get a full ride with the same scores that the suburban kid had. (It’s no secret that scholarship dollars are easier to get for minorities.)  Taking advantage of that, these students work harder in class, consequently learn more, and are ultimately rewarded with more opportunities than their affluent peers. job-search-resumeWork study and summer jobs, combined with almost no college debt result in a college graduate who is highly marketable and financially advantaged for the first time ever. They are more industrious, more hungry to take responsibility, and more aware that they can make it than ever.

    As an adult I look at this and slap my head. If you were an employer looking at the resume of recent college graduates… which employee would you want? The kid who came from nothing but is crawling out of poverty by his achievement and hard work? Or the kid who was handed everything and never worked a day in his life?

    And that my friends is bad news for the suburban kids.

    Parents! What are you going to do with this scenario? How can you change your behavior from enabler to motivator?

  • How do we get to Youth Ministry 3.0?

    t_9780310668664I’ve been wrestling with the concepts of Marko’s book, Youth Ministry 3.0 for a long time. Actually, before I worked a YS I had been going through a prolonged set of discussions at Romeo saying in a thousand different ways… What I’m doing isn’t working anymore.

    The problem was simple. I was trained and experienced at how to do youth ministry a certain way. The entire ministry was built around a youth group night of games, worship, small groups, and a talk. I had seen it work and do incredible things! Even in Romeo we had seen this ministry model draw 40+ students to a church of 120. Lives were changed, kids were discipled, volunteers loved it, on and on. We ran that thing and worked that model like a well-oiled machine. I was well-versed in all the terminology of all the other well-oiled youth ministry systems and had written tons comparing and contrasting the strength of one model over the other. But in the last few years the model tanked. Kids stopped coming. The whole thing became kind of toxic. Instead of re-arranging their schedule to make in on Wednesday night all of a sudden kids were trying to find things to do on  Wednesday night so they could politely bow out. Frustration mounted and I kept saying, “What I’m doing isn’t working anymore.”

    The crazy thing was my reaction to a YM 2.0 model. My response was always, even to the last day, “I know this works, something is just missing, that’s all.” I would tweak things here, re-emphasize this or that. It was never that the concept was broken. The problem was always either the kids not getting the vision of the model or my model not having the funding/support it needed to succeed. It never really dawned on me that my solution to fixing things was to kill the model and search for a better way to minister to students. My reaction was always to just work harder and to keep trying.

    Pray more, blame the parents. Pray more, blame the money. Pray more, blame myself. Pray more, blame the kids busyness. In the end I was royally frustrated and a little angry at God that He had me in a place where I couldn’t fix things.

    But as Marko’s book shows, there is a massive shift from what he calls “Youth Ministry 2.0” built around programs and models, towards “Youth Ministry 3.0” where the programmatic approach is, probably though not necessarily, foregone for a draw towards ministries built around affinity. (A super over-simplified analysis, right there!)

    My wrestling point right now is pretty simple… how do I help ministries kill what has worked for a generation and open their eyes to a way to reach this generation. My experience in YM 2.0 environments is that they’d be happy running an un-attended YM 2.0 model if that means they don’t have to change things. Youth workers may not like the sacred cows of big church but they have certainly built some sacred cows themselves. (Remember the fury over my articles, “I Kissed Retreats Goodbye?“)

    From a national perspective I’m seeing one trend that is scaring me and I don’t want it to be the solution: Killing youth ministry budgets, staffs, and programs. Please tell me that we’re not going to throw the baby out with the bath water? Simply because a model isn’t working doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t minister to adolescents!

    What is a more productive outcome than that?

  • What’s all the fuss about sexting?

    There have been a lot of newspaper articles about sexting lately.

    Example 1

    Example 2

    Example 3

    Example 4

    What in the world is sexting? Simply put, sexting is using your mobile device to send a sexy note to someone.

    What’s the big deal about it? It’s nothing serious. As long as kids have communicated there have been kids who passed naughty notes, instant messages, emails, and now… text messages. (text, picture, and even video)

    But let’s get real for a second. As long as there have been kids talking dirty to one another there has always been an adult fascination with their pillow talk. And since news agencies know that nothing sells better than teens talking about their sex life every newspaper in the country picked up on the study.

    Next thing you know there will be a Christian company perpetrating a lie that their cell phone network screens and blocks anything inappropriate! Jesus Talk, 400 minutes and 400 bible verses per month. $129.99!

    Do kids really send naughty things to one another via their cell phones? Probably. But, in my experience, this is no where near what everyone things it is. What it typically is relates more to pornography than sexting. In other words, kids send dirty notes to one another, share videos, and share pictures with their phones. (And computers, and xbox’s, and PS3s, and ipods, and any device you can imagine!)

    But let’s get real. This isn’t a big deal. We need to put away our facination with adolescent sexuality and focus on teaching the kids in our lives how to value other people. No one wants to be exploited by their boyfriend/girlfriend. Doesn’t education on this really just boil down to the Golden Rule?

  • Hierarchy of Beards

    Click on the image for the full size version. Important stuff for male youth workers.

    HT to Cory

  • Picasso Tapas in Hillcrest

    Last night Kristen and I discovered a fun little place in the Hillcrest neighborhood of San Diego called Picasso Tapas. Walking around the neighborhood we settled there purely because it was busy when nothing else was. (Little travelers tip right there.) After wiggling our way past the door we found a nice seat and settled in to enjoy this cozy hole in the wall.

    If you’ve never done tapas you need to know this is a place to skip the entrees… tapas is all about ordering several “little plate” appetizers. The owner suggested we get 2 each and share, we were hungry and so we ordered 5. Also, tapas places typically have a European approach to a meal. So if you want something fast and have high expectations for minute attention to detail you’ll be disappointed. Since Kristen and I came with the idea that we’d be there a while so relaxed and enjoyed their famous sangria. Originally, we were going to grab a bite to eat then head to a movie but we ended up staying so long that dinner was plenty for one night.

    A couple of the things we ordered were good. Tasty but not special. But two items really stuck out and are worth the hassle of parking down on 4th & University. First, the turkey meat balls were about the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Full of flavor and tender, not dry, we actually had to cut the 5th one in half and contemplated another order. Second, the almond shrimp was stellar. I’ve had my fair share of shrimp in my life and I’ve never bit into a shrimp to taste almond. It was a great flavor and this order came with an abundance of very large shrimp. Both items were recommendations and I kind of wish we had just asked for more instead of taking chances on some of their other 37 tapas to chose from. One negative, like was mentioned in a few reviews elsewhere, we never got all of our 5th dish. I’d tell you about the mushroom tapas but it never arrived. That didn’t disuade us though as we just ordered a dessert, flan, and were quite pleased.

    The service was quaint and added to the cozy factor. I think midway through our meal we graduated from the owner, a man from southern Spain, to a “real server.” I can’t lie in saying that I preferred the owner talking about his wife (the chef from northern Spain) better than a boring server. All-in-all though the service was very typical of something I expect on the Continent.

    The price was right. We ordered a lot and I was stunned that the bill was so little. If you arrive before 7 PM there are some great deals to be had from the $5 menu. I actually suggest coming early as this small place fills up with locals and gets louder as the evening progresses. Also, if you have a party larger than 4 it may be hard to get a table.

    Overall, I highly recommend this place. No website and none needed. Check out some other reviews on Google and you’ll get the idea. Locals love it and critics don’t. My kind of place.

  • John Stewart & Stephen Colbert Speak My Language

  • The mindset of college freshmen

    Here is this year’s Beloit College Mindset list for 2008.

    For these students, Sammy Davis Jr., Jim Henson, Ryan White, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Freddy Krueger have always been dead.

    1. Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.
    2. Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.
    3. They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.
    4. GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.
    5. Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.
    6. Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.
    7. Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.
    8. The students’ parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce “tax-revenue increases.”
    9. Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.
    10. Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.
    11. All have had a relative—or known about a friend’s relative—who died comfortably at home with hospice.
    12. As a precursor to “whatever,” they have recognized that some people “just don’t get it.”
    13. Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando, Fla.
    14. Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.
    15. Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.
    16. Häagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.
    17. Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.
    18. WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.
    19. Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.
    20. The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.
    21. Students have always been “Rocking the Vote.”
    22. Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.
    23. Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.
    24. We have always known that “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
    25. There have always been gay rabbis.
    26. Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.
    27. College grads have always been able to Teach for America.
    28. IBM has never made typewriters.
    29. Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the national anthem again.
    30. McDonald’s and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.
    31. The students have never been able to color a tree using a raw-umber Crayola.
    32. There has always been Pearl Jam.
    33. The Tonight Show has always had Jay Leno as its host and started at 11:35 p.m. Eastern time.
    34. Pee-wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.
    35. They never tasted Benefit cereal with psyllium.
    36. They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.
    37. Authorities have always been building a wall along the Mexican border.
    38. Lenin’s name has never been on a major city in Russia.
    39. Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.
    40. Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the United States.
    41. Macaulay Culkin has always been Home Alone.
    42. The students’ parents may have watched American Gladiators on TV the day they were born.
    43. Personal privacy has always been threatened.
    44. Caller ID has always been available on phones.
    45. Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.
    46. The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.
    47. The students have never heard a gasoline-station attendant ask, “Want me to check under the hood?”
    48. Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.
    49. Soft-drink refills have always been free.
    50. The students have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about “nothing.”
    51. Windows operating systems have always made IBM PC’s user-friendly.
    52. Muscovites have always been able to buy Big Macs.
    53. The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.
    54. The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.
    55. 98.6 degrees F, or otherwise, has always been confirmed in the ear.
    56. Michael Milken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate-cancer research.
    57. Off-shore oil drilling in U.S. waters has always been prohibited.
    58. Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.
    59. There have always been charter schools.
    60. Students always had Goosebumps.

    Feel old yet?

    HT to Jake