• Danger Boy

    bike

    “That was so cool! A little scary. Can we go faster next time?“ These are the words of my five year old yesterday. Towards the end of the day Paul came to the office to spend time with me because it was abundantly clear mom needed a break from his antics. Not sure how I would transport home my bike, my normal gear, and a kindergartner via the trolley I just told Kristen to drop him off. I have unshakable trust in the theory of emergent plans.

    Standing on the street corner I decided that it was plausible to have Paul straddle the bar in front of me, hold onto the handlebars, and peg his feet into my bottle holder. The key to understanding this wild ride is knowing that the journey is .7 miles and nearly all downhill. Even by myself it is one of those downhill journeys that hovers right on that border between amazing and just-a-little-too-fast. So I picked him up, got him seated, and off we went. As daddy white-knuckled down the hill suddenly realizing how stupid this adventure was, Paul beamed with pride. Daddy is thinking about what he’ll tell the paramedics on the way to the Emergency Room and Paul’s wide-eyes glisten as he dreams of going faster. My inner actuarialist vomited all over his shoes. My inner 12 year old thought it was rad. A few minutes later we arrived at the trolley station. Paul got off my bike and sat down on the bench next to me. In that moment we both realized he was a little bit closer to manhood.

    Outside of the obvious needs of taking care of our children we are challenged with raising them. Kristen and I have been learning that raising a boy is entirely different than raising a girl. And we are having our eyes opened wider and wider every day as to what that means for Paul. Our son loves to live life a little dangerous. While dad dreams of playing rounds of golf at Torrey Pines, Spyglass, or even Pebble Beach… Paul is dreaming about jumping off of stuff, climbing mountains, and finding snakes. His dreams for himself are often more daring and dangerous than mom and dad can handle. And yet we long to foster this spirit of adventure in him. In fact, I want nothing more than a son who looks danger in the face and steps up to conquer instead of winnowing away his dreams because of fear. While I am always concerned he’ll get hurt I am more worried that my own fears will contribute to him not becoming the boy his souls longs to be. We constantly weigh the fear or danger vs. the fear of not enough danger.

    Yesterday was a reminder of my role in raising a son who is crazy enough to change the world.

    Yesterday was a reminder that behind great men lay great parents who reminded them that its not just about danger, it’s about embracing courageous danger.

    Yesterday was a reminder that our society cannot be filled with men who are always cautious and only seek adventure in measured amusement parks or other things that are pseudo-dangerous.

    Yesterday was a reminder that if I want my son to believe to his core in the theory of emergent plans he needs to see me go MacGyver here and there.

    Plans? Who needs a plan?

  • I knit sweaters, yo!

    This cracked me up.

    HT to YS Marketing Team

  • Get Creative and Go Old School

    photo by net_efekt via Flickr
    photo by net_efekt via Flickr

    Great guest post from Creative Pastor, Larry Hubatka, at Elevation Church on leading a creative meeting.

    “I was cutting out graph paper and mapping out the schedule old school. Sliding video shoots and post-production edit sessions all around on the table on little scraps of paper. It wasn’t the best, most efficient approach to project planning. But sometimes you’ve got to go old school to get back to the basics. To remind yourself how the technology is supposed to help, not be the point.”

    I have found that this is my number one way to get creative. Some of my best ideas from the past 12-14 have come when I’m not in from of my computer but instead have my journal in hand or a legal pad in a meeting or intentionally away from my workspace just to map out an idea… old school style.

    If you’re not feeling creative but need to create. Grab a few friends, some paper, some markers, some tape, some scissorcs, and a room… you’ll be surprised what you come up with.

    Fact: All of my best posts on this blog in the last year were originally sketched out in a notebook. Sometimes technology gets in the way.

  • Cultivate Leaders in Tough Times

    A few weeks back I talked about a quick trip I made up to Irvine to do a video shoot with Dave Gibbons, pastor of Newsong Church. I was privileged that he made time for me and thought enough about YS to share some thoughts about why a youth ministry training event is still important even when times are tough financially.

    Even in the best of times church decision makers wrestle with continuing education dollars. It’s so refreshing to hear senior leaders who understand the value in training and encouragement from people in your tribe. If you’ve never been to NYWC… there is a magical component when you meet hundreds of other youth workers and you have an instant bond. The community of a shared burden and experiences is so renewing!

    p.s. Random sidenote. Check me out! This video is well lit, in focus, and I even did a quick sound check before we began.

  • Psalm 139, a paraphrase

    Psalm 139: 1-12

    O Lord, you dig deep and figure me out.

    Feeling my intentions, you know why I get out of bed and why I sit down to work.

    You know my habits and intentions better than I do, when I go out to do stuff you know what’s really going on.

    Before I open my mouth or put a pen to paper, you know what’s it’s all about, O Lord.

    Your calling on my life is intense, I couldn’t get out of your grip if I wanted to.

    Knowing that you called my name is almost too much to bear, the calling takes me places way over my head.

    Even in the darkest of nights, even when I feel like I’m all alone, your Holy Spirit comforts me.

    It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do in this world, you are right there with me.

    When I’m crawling out of bed way too early, or even just kicking it at the beach,

    Even in those places you help me figure out what to do, when I’m clueless on life’s why questions, you clue me in.

    When I have a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day and want to move to Australia… you slap me upside the head and remind me you’d be there too.

    Even in my darkest days you remind me it’s going to be OK. Even when I don’t think it can get any darker, you bring light into that dark places of my soul.

  • What to Say When the Youth Pastor Leaves

    the-truth

    It’s June. Professional youth ministries most dangerous month. I’ve served in three churches and all the hiring, firing, quitting, and retiring with the youth ministry seems to happen in June. It’s a wicked combination of the end of the school year and for a lot of churches, the end of the budget year. I could offer some theories as to why so many churches hire and fire in June… but that’s not the point of this post.

    “What do we say when the youth pastor leaves?”

    Church leaders: Tell the truth. If the person quit, just say they quit. You don’t have to spin it. Just tell it like it is.

    But if you are firing them, I can’t tell you how many people I have talked to who were fired and then asked to enter into an agreement (never in writing) that for a sum of money they will say that they have decided to quit. Hundreds. If you are man or woman enough to fire a person than be man or woman enough to tell the congregation. You don’t pay severence to someone you are firing to cover up the fact that you are firing them. You pay them severance because they are self-employed and ineligible to claim unemployment benefits. It only makes matters worse when you fire a person and then put on a charade that you are sad to see them go. You throw a party, you say all sorts of glowing things in public when you know full well that you sat in a board room and decided this person needed to be fired. If you lie, your lie will be found out. Your sin will be exposed and the embarrassment you were trying to avoid will come back to haunt you for years. If you made a brave decision as the leadership of the church then it is a sign of your strength as leaders. When you try to wuss out, it shows what kind of leaders you are.

    The truth always wins.

    Church staff: Tell the truth. If the leaders of your church dismissed a person don’t ever lie about it. It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “The leaders decided to go another direction.” You don’t have to go into the specifics of why the person was fired. But don’t participate in the leaders lie if they are trying to spin the truth. That makes you party to the lie! Your corroborating the leaders story and remember, the truth will come out eventually. And remember, this is exactly how you will be treated if they let you go later.

    The truth always wins.

    Youth Pastor: Tell the truth. I have been in your shoes. I know what it’s like to have that meeting where the leaders tell you that you aren’t the person they want pastoring their kids anymore. I have felt my world crash around me in that moment. I’ve looked across that table when they told me what to say. They are going to wave a big check in front of your eyes and you are going to think, “How else can I feed my family? How will I pay my rent? How will I have enough money to get the heck out of here?” Just don’t get bought by Satan. Think about it… would Jesus ask you to lie in His name? Not telling the truth is telling a lie! Church leaders who ask you to lie for a little bit of money are doing the work of your sworn enemy. Walk out of that meeting with integrity. Do not cave to their pressure and promise of financial security to further their lie. They will end up offering you the same severance check anyway… because it is the right thing to do and the congregation will demand it. Moreover, your telling a lie to the congregation will only make matters worse. They are trying to get you to take the fall because they know you are leaving the church.

    Candidates for youth ministry positions: Find the truth. Your well-being and the well-being of your family and future ministry depend on you discovering the truth! If you are interviewing at a church you need to talk to the former youth worker. During the interview process ask the search committee about the previous person. Then ask for their email address or phone number so you may contact them. This is 2009, you can find them in 10 minutes on the internet. Be a detective and get to the truth as to why that person left. If there is a lie… don’t take the job. This is precisely how you will be treated. If the previous youth worker was fired and the pastor and the elders participated in that lie, confront them! No matter how good they make that job sound, that entire relationship will be based on lies unless they come clean. Confront their sin and then don’t take the job. Show them what a leader looks like.

    Some may read this and think, “Boy, Adam McLane has a chip on his shoulder about this.“ You would be correct. I am sick of seeing my friends in ministry asked to lie for a few thousand bucks. I am sick of churches hiding the fact that have fired a person. I am tired of the Bride of Christ doing things that are worse– even illegal— than what happens in the business world. I know that a healthy ministry can only be built on the truth. And it is time to speak up and get some truth out there.

  • Post-it Note Deadline

    Dang is all I can say to this one. This takes it to a whole new level.

    Here’s how they did it.

    Seriously brilliant stuff.

  • Saturday Tunes

    Saturday TunesNot a lot of plans this weekend, so we will fall into routines fairly quickly. Kristen and Megan are hiking up Cowles Mountain. Stoney and I are waiting for them to return so we can head to Dog Beach for some beach therepy. After that we have no plans. A nice relaxing weekend lies ahead.

    Right now I am sipping tea and listening to music. I did some rearranging on things in the sidebar, so make sure you check that out. The blogroll is back! Here are the next 10 tunes I’m listening to. As always, these are completely random and my ratings are included.

    #1 Mysterious Ways by U2 ****

    #2 Single Ladies by Beyonce *****

    #3 Going On by Gnarles Barkley ****

    #4 Thanksgiving Song by Adam Sandler *****

    #5 Tell Me Something Good by P!nk ****

    #6 Dare You to Move by Switchfoot ***

    #7 Dissonant Distinction by Brae ****

    #8 Faithful by Steve Fee **

    #9 Made to Worship by Chris Tomlin ***

    #10 Starstrukk by 3OH!3 ****

  • Facebook Land Grab

    FaceBook-256x256Last night’s chaos on Facebook was a fascinating display of “why not to be afraid of internet rumors.” Millions of people anxiously waited online staring at facebook.com/username/ hoping that they could register their name as a vanity URL. I participated in a lively chat on Mashable last night, there was a lot of anxiety, silliness, and even some worry leading up to the big moment. Would the site crash? Would people be able to get their URLs?

    I’m a social media junkie and I needed to make sure that I was a part of it. Plus, I needed to make sure I secured two page names for YS that were eligible.

    Think about the rules for a second and you’ll realize why it was silly to be in a panic:

    – Each individual could name their account one URL. Most people are going to take their name or their Twitter handle or a knickname. Since the URL isn’t transferrable (like website names are) and you can’t ever change it. Unless your name is really popular you don’t have much to worry about.

    – Pages with more than 1,000 fans could name their eligible fan page one URL. Think about it. That’s a lot of fans. (Probably 1% of pages) What do you think they are going to select? The name of their group/company/band or say… facebook.com/Kroger.

    – Any trademark holder was invited to come early and protect their trademarks. This was done to prevent individuals from naming their accounts facebook.com/Lakers

    – Behind the scenes Facebook handled URLs and redirects for major companies, bloggers, and celebrities. This prevented people from squatting on accounts for people like Ashton Kutcher, Miley Cyrus, and CNN.

    Of course that doesn’t mean there isn’t some controversy out there. Over then next few weeks some awesome squatting will come to light. My favorite one so far is facebook.com/Barack. Well done Tomas, well done. Certainly there will be some squatting. But since the URL can’t be sold, transfered or even gifted… there really isn’t a benefit to squatting on someone’s URL.

    For those of us who live in an “under 1000 fans” world, the next land grab is 6/28. That’s when Facebook opens up vanity URLs to groups, causes, and smaller pages. There wasn’t much chaos created last night. The real damage comes 6/28.

  • Adam’s Rules for Twitter

    twitter-rules

    You’ve seen my rules for blogging. With many people using the social media 360—  blogging, Facebook, and Twitter simultaneously– I thought it would be helpful to share my Twitter rules. These guide my use of the site and I think would act as a good primer for those getting into it.

    Rule #1: Don’t forget the question. The primary use of Twitter is to tell people what you are doing. It’s easy to get lost in conversation and treat Twitter like a chat room. With that in mind I try not to @reply the same person back and forth in conversation. I am quick to take the conversation to a phone call, email, or direct message. The power of Twitter is seeing that all of our lives are fascinatingly mundane. Focus on that and you’ll be fine.

    Rule #2: It’s not about the numbers. There’s a lot of locker room-styled comparisons going on with who has the biggest following. Just like in real life, it’s not size that’s important. (See rule #1) If you are interesting to people you will attract a larger following. Joining a website that promises 10,000 followers or endlessly participating in #followfriday in hopes that you’ll add just 3 more followers is only going to make your use of Twitter less enjoyable and you more annoying to follow. I allow anyone to follow me. But for my personal account I only follow back who I want to follow back. I read every profile when someone follows me… and I follow back just those whom look interesting. For business accounts I follow everyone back who follows those accounts.

    Rule #3: Don’t follow then unfollow just to build a following. Follow only who you want to follow. It is rude to follow someone so they will follow you back only to then go and unfollow them. That’s rude. I can’t tell you how many people do that to me. And they probably think I’m rude because I don’t play along.

    Rule #4: Retweet, @reply, and compliment often. It’s good form to reply to every @reply. On my personal account, I do my best to @reply to everyone who @replies to me. Remember, Twitter can be a fun place for networking, idea sharing, and community. Be aware that @replies help your followers meet and get to know one another.

    Rule #5: Pimp your content, but pimp it lightly. In the early days of Twitter there was backlash when you’d post links to your blog or other content. I don’t think it’s a big deal to Tweet links to your content, just do it lightly. (Mention it once, then move on.) Then again, if all you use Twitter for is posting links to your content… that won’t be interesting enough to draw a following.

    Rule #6: Keep private stuff private. Avoid the social fax paux of over-sharing on Twitter. No one wants to know that you are taking a dump, getting drunk with friends, or just made out with your girlfriend. Sharing where you are eating, who you are out with, or TwitPic’s of your best friend passed out while taking a dump… perfectly fine though. That’s for the public interest.

    Rule #7: It’s OK to have multiple accounts. I know people who have public accounts and private accounts. I have personal accounts, work accounts, and special interest accounts. All of this is fine. It helps people follow only the stuff that they actually want.

    Rule #8: Hashtags are for tracking stuff. It’s OK to use them just for fun or sarcasm. I do it all the time. But if you aren’t at an event or a concert and you use their hashtag just because everyone else is, you look stupid. Even if you are at the event make sure you only tag tweets that are relevant to the event.

    Rule #9: Don’t be a whore. I teach people how to tactfully self-promote themselves. I think that is fine. But don’t sell your account for marketing tweets and don’t use twitter to enter marketing promotions. Since Twitter won’t do anything about this and has allowed bots to create squatting accounts, this is why I think Twitter is the next Myspace.