• When do I stop forcing?

    TantrumI’ve been thinking about this question lately. It’s a question I get in various forms all the time for various reasons.

    "At what point do I stop making my kid come to youth group?"

    Some may see that and say "I would never force or coerce my kid to go to church." But for the 99% of families in 99% of churches… at some point there is a battle with most kids. (After all, there are some people who go to the perfect church where every single kids longs to be at the church 24 hours per day)

    This isn’t a complete thought, this is mostly laying the groundwork for an article that may come in the future.

    This is my experience. About 50% of kids in the churches I’ve attended or worked at don’t need to be pushed to come to youth group. They like it so they come. But about 50% need to be motivated, coerced, bargained with, or even forced to come.

    Parents do see the problem.
    See, with a child… you can force them. I would argue that there shouldn’t be a choice with kids up until adolescence starts. (So, 10-12 years old.) Then they need to learn… when is it time to force/coerce/bribe my kid to come to church and when is it time to let them come on their own?

    I’m stopping here intentionally… I just want pose the question… when to force, when to not.

  • MySpace is Dead

    Myspaceangles2My opinion has only hardened in the last few weeks. MySpace, the social networking giant… is dying. One peek at their Alexa profile will show that the ratings are way down, and while overall traffic isn’t totally flat… it’s fading. More importantly, as it’s gotten overrun with adults… almost all of the students I know have slowed their use.

    I used to get see all sorts of activity from students on a daily basis… but that seems to be fading too. Fewer content rich comments, fewer bulletins with anything valuable, and MORE spam. In fact, I’ve only been logging on myself once every few days. It simply isn’t worth the ads/spam/crappy bulletins that people post.

    It’s only natural that once the corporations take over and the dollars start rolling in that the adolescents check out. Nothing could be less cool than being labeled "corporate."

    Never fear, something else will pop up! And by the time most adults figure out what it is… it won’t be cool anymore.

  • Accidental tourist

    LostFor some reason, my blog has a very high site ranking. You put that with my unique ability to spell things wrong, despite the pretty red line that Firefox 2.0 puts under misspelled words, and it seems like my blog is a repository of lost blog travelers.

    For example, I spelled some celebrity’s name wrong… and a lot of other people don’t know how to spell his name, so they end up here. 40 so far today! Pretty funny… and if I were a marketer I’d start to wonder if spelling words wrong to increase site traffic was really worth it or not. Interesting concept.

    Anyway, if you are here because you are lost… feel free to comment!

  • Another incredible innovation

    This is called the Reactable. The developers describe it like this:

    The reactable, is a state-of-the-art multi-user electro-acoustic music
    instrument with a tabletop tangible user interface
    . Several simultaneous
    performers share complete control over
    the instrument by moving physical artefacts on the table surface and
    constructing different audio topologies in a kind of tangible modular
    synthesizer or graspable flow-controlled programming language.

    I know I am a geek for this kind of thing, but while this isn’t really ready for consumers yet, I can see some potentially interesting applications. Kind of like a group turn table type of jam session. Mix it with the keytar… and we’re talking the next big wave of music! I mean, all good music comes from Barcelona, right?

  • Who loves YMX?

    This week, my partner in crime Derek Tang, (who is our Forum Administrator) is at the National Youth Workers Convention in Charlotte. Somehow they came up with the idea of getting their picture with a ton of people there with a little sign that says "We love YMX!" I think that is pretty hilarious.

    There are a few bloggers who wrote about the meet-up last night. Derek, Katie, Patti, and Marko. I think there were 12 people there officially… so Derek and I tied in our ability to get people to a meet-up. But at least they ate good Irish food.
    Leeland_ymx
    Apparently, Leeland loves YMX.

  • Not offended by Danny DiVito

    I must be the only American that didn’t care that Danny DiVito appeared on The View a little tipsy the other day. I mean, it’s not like he was appearing on something important like Letterman. Heck, if I had to go on the set… I don’t even drink and I’d want to think about it!

    In other news, I agree with 50 Cent on something. Oprah is an old white woman. It’s always been my joke that Oprah and Martha Stewart are the anti-Christ. I don’t wish either of them ill-will, but I just don’t care for them much.

  • Newsvine

    NewsvineMy latest internet addiction can be found at Newsvine. How it works is that while I’m browsing and I find something that I think is interesting, I simply seed it to a page of stuff that I want to either look at more closely later, or want other people to check out.

    Here’s a newsvine I’m trying to get going on the issue of adolescent spiritual development. Interesting concept in a Web 2.0 kind of way. I don’t know if it will really take off since the community aspect of it is really a bunch of snobs… but you never know. So… I’d love to have some more youth ministry seeders… I’m not promoting it in any way… but I’d love to have a bunch of people like me seeding articles about youth ministry and adolescent spiritual development. All they’d need to do is create an account and start seeding… just not sure if I really want to promote ONE MORE THING or just keep focused on what I’m already up to.

  • YMX Podcast going well

    YmxpodcastaThe big thing around YMX lately has been "When are you going to start a podcast?" Well, the first one launch Tuesday night and has been pretty well received. I’m looking forward to seeing where this new media for the site will take us.

    We’ve really not done it as a marketing thing… we’ve done it as a community stretching thing. That said, I had a blast doing my first round of interviews and gathering segments. So, while most of the show was put together here in Romeo, there is a segment from Belfast, a segment from British Columbia, Florida, and New Jersey.

    We’re looking to publish the next one just after Christmas… and it’s already looking like it’s going to be a real hum-dinger! So, check out our debut show here.

    Of course, if you like that… go to iTunes and search "youth ministry" to add it to your subscriptions.

  • The Ratio

    Worth: usefulness or importance, as to the world, to a person, or for a purpose: Your worth to the world is inestimable.

    versus

    Deserve: to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance,
    punishment, etc.) because of actions, qualities, or situation: to deserve exile; to deserve charity; a theory that deserves consideration.

    This thought has been floating around my head for a few days now. It’s a weird thought.

    What is the relationship between my worth and what I deserve? I’m not talking about money here and I’m really not talking about my job at all. I’m thinking about life in general. How do I know the difference between what someone is worth and what they deserve? How do I know what I’m worth vs. what I deserve?

    From a biblical perspective, I am worth a lot to God. He gave His Son up to die for me because a relationship with me was worth a lot. As I say all the time, I love my friends and students enough that I would probably die for them if it came down to it… but let my 3 year old boy die for them? Not in a million years! I don’t love them that much. So… in God’s equation I am worth a lot.

    From a human perspective "worth" is a difficult thing to measure. We tend to measure that based upon what a person has done/contributed for me or the world or some people. Or, we tend to measure someone’s worth by their ability or inability to gain wealth or something equally measurable. I don’t know how it works for everyone… but in some sick and twisted way I’m imagining little numbers floating around above people’s heads. That person is +300. That person is +2. That person is -15. You could add a second value to that with little stock market arrows that would let the world know if that persons worth is raising or lowering. Kind of a sick visual, eh? This is why I’ve been captured by this. It’s interesting and sick at the same time.

    Adam -18 (+3)
    Kristen +18 (-1)
    Megan +2 (+15)
    Paul +9 (+1)

    Then there is the other side. What do I deserve? This is where it gets more interesting.

    From a biblical perspective, we don’t deserve anything. I’m a Calvinist, I believe in total depravity. When God sees me, not through the lens of Christ, but on my own… He sees a man who has been given every opportunity to not sin… but still struggles because life isn’t that simple. Quite bluntly, the Bible teaches that without Jesus’ action on the cross, as he took the punishment as my substitute, I deserve death.

    From a human perspective, I don’t know what I deserve in life. Do I deserve respect? Do I deserve money? Do I deserve anything at all or do I have to earn everything? If yes, why? If no, why not? See… there are different ways to judge what a person deserves. It’s so easy to think of this in monetary terms. From a humans perspective a person deserves "more" if they’ve been loyal or competent or if they can take more or make more, they deserve more. Unions acts as agents of equaling that out in the business world. One person may deserve a 10% raise while another deserves to be fired, but together… they all deserve something… but I don’t want to get distracted on that.

    My observation is that a person deserves more if they are loyal. If I am loyal to my wife, I feel I deserve increased love from her. If someone is loyal to the church, I feel they deserve more respect. On and on. But the thought that floats around my head is that number thing again… does each person walk around with an imaginary number above their head? This is what they think they deserve in life.

    I remember meeting people who were absolutely off on the "what I deserve" number. I remember employees who barely graduated from high school, who never worked hard a day in their life, who had very little abilities, put out very little effort, had no talent, and yet walked around with a massive "deserve" number above their heads. Guys who made (didn’t earn!) $7/hour couldn’t understand why someone didn’t "discover" them and pay them like Pdiddy.

    And I’ve met people who were convinced that they deserved nothing in life… yet they were some of the most precious people I’ve ever met.

    In some sick and twisted way I wonder if people are walking around with a big = sign. It would look like this….

    W + D = V
    My worth plus my "deserve" equals my value.

    Man, what would happen if above every single persons head was a visible number. In black, someone’s value would notate that they had positive value to the world. A little green/red stock ticker would update live as someone’s quotient shot up and down during any given moment. In red, someone’s value would let the whole world know that this person had little value to the world around them.

    I wonder what my number would be? I wonder how this would effect how people lived their lives. As they worked, as they talked to someone, as they dealt with temptation… what would the world be like if everyone’s value were known? What if someone lied to themselves and tried to decorate their number to be higher than it should? What about the high schooler who had a high value and hid it in shame to appear lower? What about the people who would try to make the red cool?

    I don’t know if I want to live in that world. But it’s an interesting thought.