Yesterday I bought one of these (product) Red iPod Nano’s for a prize on YMX. The transaction was simple enough. I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to get it from. Since I wanted it engraved I knew I’d have to wait a couple extra days… which didn’t matter to me since the contest drawing isn’t until January.

So, this morning I get greeted by an email from Apple telling me that the iPod had shipped. I clicked on the tracking button, which took me to a FedEx tracking website… and my jaw dropped. I placed my order yesterday evening and my order has just been picked up for immediate delivery from "SHENZHEN CN" to Romeo. Shenzhen is located near Hong Kong. So, the (product) Red iPod is all sorts of Red! But hey, $10 of that purchase is going to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria.

From China, with Love. It really is a global world.

I’ve been noticing this lately. Not a lot, but enough times to being something I’ve noticed. I’ll be at the grocery store or some local restaurant and I’ll see someone who used to go to our church. With our church’s many changes in the last decade and its 166 year history, it’s no wonder that there are a few people in a town of 10,000 who are former members for one reason or another. These are people who I know and consider acquaintances.

And they avoid me.
It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever encountered, but they avoid me. They see me in the store and they quickly checkout and leave. They dodge down another aisle. They do whatever they can do to avoid what they think will be an awkward conversation.

What’s up with that?
I’ve got a few thoughts as to why this is happening. But I think I can boil it down to two categories of people who have left our church and how they intersect with avoiding me in public. First, these are people whom I’ve misconnected with or otherwise missed in my ministry. Due to the "law of unspoken expectations" they expected me to be something I wasn’t. (Or any staff member, because in people’s minds all staff members really are 1 person) Maybe I wasn’t as serious as they thought I should be. Or maybe they didn’t like the clothes I wear or my personality. Or maybe they were more conservative than me or more liberal or didn’t like the NIV or the car I drive. So, they’ve now left the church and they just want to avoid me because they can’t stand me. Second, these are people who have left the church for their own reasons. Maybe they left because of music or something that happened with a friend at church or didn’t like some leadership decision or indigestion or any other of the myriad of reasons I’ve heard. But they avoid me because of shame that they carry around about their leaving the church. Honestly, there are a lot of people who have sinned in the way they’ve left the church, and they are ashamed.

Here’s the thing. I don’t feel awkward about it at all. I’ve done ministry long enough to know that people come and people go. The days of people attending one church for a lifetime are long gone… there are simply too many options for people and they treat church as a consumable item. Church, in many people’s eyes, is just another choice in the marketplace. That’s not devaluing anyone or any decision, it is just how the landscape of church is today. (Nor am I stating that this is a good thing or a bad thing, merely a statement of what I see.)

As this happened to me last night, I really hurt for that person as they dodged me at the local grocery store. To walk around your town carrying either anger towards a person or shame about a situation is really sad. How can you live with that kind of stress?

At the same time I wonder about the logic of doing this. Because, the only way it’s ever going to get dealt with is if that person sucks it up and deals with it. They should either talk to me about how I’ve hurt them or allow me to express to them my apologies for whatever happened in the past. Otherwise, they are dodging people from the church for the rest of their lives. It’s really an immature response. It’s the same thing Paul does, and he’s 3 years old.

When Paul has done something bad, he hides. Usually we find him behind the couch or under his bed. That’s just how 3 year olds deal with shame. Kristen and I have to walk around the house and find him. When we find him we either have to talk him out of his hiding place or literally tear him from the place his is hiding as he kicks and screams. As a parent, it’s our role to teach him how to deal with it. We’re commanded by God to go there and do that… how else is he supposed to learn?

I struggle with this as I wonder, is it my role to chase people as they avoid me? Should I be running down the aisles of the grocery store after a grown person screaming "I forgive you!" or "Will you forgive me?"

Somehow I don’t think that’s it either.

OK, this is my last post on the NYWC. Monday was actually pretty simple. We woke up late, packed the room up, put everything in the car, had a breakfast at a diner that is still making me fart, and went to the last general session.

We found great seats in the 6th row and really enjoyed the last session. Carl, Chris, Mel, Jessica, and I enjoyed sitting together through the whole conference and this was no exception. Lost and Found were very silly and fun as usual. Starfield was amazing though they probably need more songs. Marko did a great job ending things with a push for humility, and then Starfield came back to end the whole thing "super fun." We sang one more song and everyone was bouncing around and dancing and having fun.

After everything was said and done I finally got a chance to meet Marko face to face, had lunch with Chris and Carl, and then took Carl to the airport before driving home.

(more…)

OK, more scattered thoughts from the convention.

1. This is when I am about ready to be home. I miss the kids and Kristen a lot at about this time in any trip. I just don’t like traveling without them. And yet we could never afford to bring them all.
2. The only thing I will miss from my hotel room here is the bed. Man, the Hyatt knows how to do beds.
3. I have really enjoyed Carl (my roomate) and Mel’s company. These are two YMX forumites I met here for the first time, and it’s been the difference between enjoying my time here and leaving early. Tonight we went and met the Wilson family at their home in the Cincinnati suburbs. That was incredible… I am so glad I went. Angie, Gracie, and Chris were great to meet.
4. What have I learned? There are 2-3 specific things I will be implementing in LF when we get back. I’ve done this long enough to know that I shouldn’t be looking for a lot of ideas but 1-2 good ideas can make a big difference. Here’s a sample… just like we do Acts 101 at the beginning of the LF talk to affirm what we know about our topic… I’m adding a LF 101 to affirm our identity in Christ. Second, I learned some important stuff about ministering to guys. I needed to sit in on that and I learned what I needed to learn.
5. I rushed my first stage ever. Coming here Bob and I talked about this phenomenon of "why do people rush the stage at Christian conference?" and we talked about it a lot in my Huntington class. Since I was already sitting in the front row this morning and since it looked like fun, when Jars of Clay came out I decided to go for it. It was loud and fun. But I felt pretty stupid up there.
6. I skipped a couple of things today. And I liked it.
7. I bought my only product of the convention today. I bought the NT in mp3 format… it looked cool and it was on sale. I can’t wait to put it on my iPod.
8. I have learned a lot in my research study. Terry Linhart told us, "study something that interests you." And as I look at my data and interviews I think I can share some insights that may lead to something much more. I won’t share anything just yet because it’s too early. But if you saw me in the exhibit hall with my yellow pad taking notes… you saw me. I know at least preliminarily I’d be interested in expanding my data to a few more locations and a using some different methods. I think this really proved to me that this is something that is worth studying more. I’d need some funding to pay my way to various locations… but I think there is something to be learned that would be valuable to both YS and vendors.