Ugh
There is trouble brewing in River City. It feels like the honeymoon is ending for PB and there appear to be some conflicts coming out of the woodwork. Since he’s been on staff for the last 6 months he’s been able to bully people and get away with it because “he’s the new pastor.” Well… That had to end sooner or later!

At any rate, I feel stuck on one that is going on right now. A couple has become a pain in the butt, not to be too frank, and they are going to have to be dealt with on eggshells. I love this couple and I think it can be resolved… But I also this resulting in them getting more worked up and starting a fight.

How to put out a fire… Two methods
I’m not an expert on putting out fires, but I have learned there are two ways to handle it in the church that I like to use.

1. Mount a full on offensive against it. This means calling on all the means of your power in the church and confronting the parties head on. This would be the fire equivalent of putting a house fire out with a helicopters bucket! It’s a tour de force.
2. Put some parameters on them and let the fire burn itself out. Essentially, this just means that you, as a leader, let it go. You let the person know you see why they are upset. You agree to disagree and ask them not to spread gossip, and you let them be. This provides enough space in the relationship for the fire to burn itself out and both parties get over it.

To me, there is wisdom in using option 2 more often than option 1. Option 1 is so extreme and so aggressive that it sends a message to everyone in the church… And that’s not a message I am comfortable with. My opinion is that when there is conflict between two people both parties bear some responsibility for causing the conflict so option two works better most of the time. But option 2 also takes more patience!

I am really worried that this thing could blow up big time…. Double ugh!

You know, this has been on my mind for quite a while.

With Kristen and I settling down here in Romeo, I am constantly stuck with the thought… “Couldn’t I do better in ministry? Isn’t there some place other than here that is bigger, better, or more suited to my talents and what I really think I can do?” Am I settling for mediocre when I could have more?

I could sum it all up with this argument?

Am I happy here because I know this is where God wants me or am I happy here because I’ve decided this is where God wants me? How the heck am I supposed to discern between these two things?

I suppose some of this comes from my egotistical side. I look at co-workers in youth ministry who are less experienced and less educated than I am that are working for bigger, better, and growing like crazy churches. And I am here at a church that is slow growing… And in the process I’ve had to give up so much of what I love about ministry to take on roles that if I worked somewhere bigger or better I would never have to mess with. [Video editing, web development, oversee Christian Ed, Missions, Bonfire, on and on…]

I know from my training in counseling that this is a response a lot like a mid-life crisis… “Could I have made better decisions to get me further ahead in life?” I’m not nearly old enough to worry about this but I do!

Hold on, stop the bus!
This is where the conversation needs to stop. See, here’s the cool part. Jesus never promised any of us a “big church” or a showcase ministry. He simply called to his disciples, “Stop what you are doing, follow me.” Sure, some of those disciples ended their lives with thousands of followers… But some of them died alone, or nearly alone. Who started to lie to pastors that bigger is better or that we should even be comparing one church to another? This is an American invention… In a lot of ways… It is an American lie. [Yes, Satan is alive and working in the hearts and minds of America!] A church shouldn’t be judged by it’s size, it should be judged in its effectiveness. Is it an equipping church? Is it a church that teaches people the Bible? Is it a church that seeks to honor God with what the Lord has given it? Is it a church that thinks of others needs?

Why am I sitting here, having another internal debate about “bigger or better” when I should be resting in knowing that I am fortunate to work in a church that loves me and my family, that cares for us, that cares for others, that is equipping people, that gives away tons of money to missions, that teaches God’s Word, on and on… I am having this debate because I too get sucked into the lie all the time.

At the end of the day…
Right now, I know a few folks who are headed for greener pastures. In my world, this means that they have found a place to work in ministry that is Bigger or Better in their eyes than the one they are currently at. I wonder, how many skilled and trained youth workers out there are willing to take off their “big ministry” boots and invest their lives in a church that is “smaller and busted?”

Why is it that the most talented people only want to work at the churches that are already good? Why don’t those people chose to help small, struggling churches get healthy? Are they too good for that? Are their talents wasted? Is it “not worth their time?” Why aren’t Doug Fields, Bo Boshers, and all the other “big dogs” leaving their mega-churches to help other hurting churches?

How come so many youth workers look up to Mike Yacanelli, but when it comes down to it… They don’t have the balls to live like him? They read his books, they chuckled at his joke “I am the pastor of the slowest growing church in America” but they wouldn’t ever put themselves, their talents, their families, or their reputation in that situation. Let’s face it, a lot of youth workers out there HAVE EGOS THE SIZE OF THEIR YOUTH GROUPS. They are snobs who wouldn’t ever want to work with broken and busted churches. They hear what church I work at and head for the hills because we are too small, too broken, and can’t offer them anything of value. So the reality is, that they are in ministry for themselves and not for others. They have been trained and are getting experienced so that they can have easier jobs with more stuff and less problems. The concept of “others first” or “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” is foreign to them. A lot of the “big guys” I know have bought into and perpetrate the lie “bigger is better.”

That’s why I am in Romeo. I think my talents are best suited here… small, broken, but getting better. When I play the franchise mode of a video game like Madden NFL 2005… I always take a busted team and make them better. When I get them to the Super Bowl… I start with a new team… Take a broken team and make them better. See, it doesn’t take much skill or talent to take a winner and turn them into a Super Bowl winner.

I wonder how many people in ministry out there have the guts to do that with their own lives?

Is it worth a lifetime to turn a loser into a winner? I guess I’ll let you know at the end of the day.

So today I am off on another one of my marathons.

• Early morning I’ll be @ church setting up the visual presentation part of church and making sure lots of photos are getting snapped for the web and other stuff upcoming.
• Sunday school
• Signing people up between services to drive shuttles during the Peach Festival
• Church… get to relax except that I’ll be running the PC’s and overseeing the rest of it.
• After church… go to the Armada Fair to see our POPS group perform. [Of course, the kids will want to stay and be a part of everything else.]
• Dash back home so the kids can take naps…
• Then I can finalize things for tonights bonfire.

I’ll get home tonight around 10:00 PM and absolutely crash. This is the biggest reason I moved my day off from Friday to Monday. After the “day of rest” I need a day of rest.

This afternoon I broke down and moved the family computer. This is something I’ve needed to do since I got back from Smiletown but I was hoping would just go away.

Last week we had the Comcast guy come out and figure out what was causing our major connectivity headache… He said it had to do with the Comcast upgrade and the fact that the connection I had to the cable in the basement was too far from the box. Ugh!

So I started lugging all of my crap all upstair to the bedroom. So, the whole family network is all up and running. Even though it was a pain in the ass, I am glad I did it.

In other news: I’ve been downloading some video clips for church from MediaShout. I am really pleased with their selection of high quality videos suitable for what we are doing in church. One of the jobs I’ve been given [insert Jeremy’s groan that I need a new ministry position!] is that I had to come up with a contemplative video each week. Half of them will be about our missionaries [another new job responsibility!] and the other half will be contemplative. Rather than me creating all of these videos… I’ve decided to cheat and buy some of them. This will save me a few hours each week. I’ve also been signing up for the different companies freebies.

Megan and Paul playing nice.

Paul enjoying the fireworks after the game

Any chance these two are related. It’s Paul closest to the camera and his cousin Zach on the far side.

Kristen wasn’t as excited as everyone else. Guess baseball isn’t her cup of tea.

Megan and Allison spent most of the night checking things out in their binoculars. Megan spent the entire night on Aunt Gwen’s lap.

I just got an email from a student in Fivemiletown. He wrote this after their very first “post-Summerserve” coffeehouse.

Hey Guys

I have just got home from the first NO2 drop in since you left! My sis and I were not knowing what to expect but when the youth kept on going we were happy! Becca and Stephen came too and they were great with everyone……all of the young people were asking for you! we got them a football and the hot chocolate and other drinks were gulped down. there were about 18 to 20 at the peak so it was encouraging. it wasn’t as good as yours but they all loved that it was back on and they gave us their ideas on how to make it better. i have new found respect for you guys…………..you must have worked soooooooooooo hard to do what you did. they even put on a drama for us at the end……but then quit five minutes in (think it was romeo and juliet but not sure!!!!!).

Any ho, just thought I would let you know how it went. we had three people how had never been before and everyone wants it to happen again……..and they all miss you and want to see you again! chat to you soon

This is very good news! Woohoo!

I just got done talking to “the guys” on the trustee board. It’s always good when they start off a conversation with “we’re feeling pretty good tonight, let’s spend some money.” This is especially good when they are talking about computers!

So, they’ve placed an order for my new laptop. It’s going to have one of those nice Centrino processors and it should be a lot of fun to work with. I can’t wait to get this bad boy up and running. This just might tip me back into the idea of going back to grad school this semester. At least if class is boring I will have some stuff to do! Excpected delivery date: 9/1/2005

With the golf season underway and my own leagues winding down… Golf seems to be my life right now.

Even though I have played very little, I played pretty well last night. I drove the ball fairly well and even managed to snake in 2 long putts for birdie. The first one, on the par 3 3rd hole was very makeable. Uphill, 20 feet with a predictable break. The second one, on the par 5 9th hole, was a double-breaker that I would have missed 9 out of 10 times. I felt good about that.

More impressive with the flat stick was a par save on the par 4 4th hole. We struggled to get on the green and left ourselves with a nasty 15 footer for par. In Tiger Woods fashion I used the very last revolution to knock it down. It even did the dramatic “stop on the lip to show the logo” trick.

We finished at even par 36. If it weren’t for 2 ugly bogies on 7 & 8 we would have been -2. Oh well. I am still in the top 10 and “in the money” for the league. Of course, I don’t put my money in so “my sponsors” are in the money.

Shot Gun!
Yesterday was Jon’s last Light Force road trip. I have to say that I was a bit nostolgic about the trip to Michigan’s Adventure yesterday. It was a trip that is not only a lot of fun… it’s also represented a major “changing of the guard” for our group. As this is our last major summer event, it was the last opportunity for the class of 2005 to travel with us before they leave us for the college & career group. At the same time it was a major “tour de force” of our emerging middle school classes! They rocked.

This is my 3rd summer of ministry here and one thing has always been a constant. Every time we do anything, Jon yells “Shotgun.” Now with me, I have a rule about shotgun. [Who sits next to the driver in the car/van.] In order to call shotgun I have to have left the building on my way to the car. So when multiple people want it… they rush out in front of me and wait for my foot to cross the threshold. Jon almost always got it. So much so that there were times when other students were sour about it and I had to ask him to take the 2nd row.

Jon’s been a faithful travel companion for 3 years. He’s gone to almost anything and for any reason. He’s gone on countless errand runs to get things for Light Force. We’ve been to Home Depot dozens of times. He went on all of the college visit trips. He did all the mission trips, including the Northern Ireland trip. And he almost always sat next to me. We guessed that we’ve put in about 30,000 miles next to each other… and it is always fun!

Over the 3 years, Jon’s not just travelled with me a lot, he’s grown a lot. I beamed with pride when David Schultz from Project Serve bragged about how well Jon was doing in Ballymena a few weeks ago. He went on and on about how impressed he was with Jon in the work there. It also excites me to hear about the way he’s jumped into Romeo’s college & career ministry with both feet. All I can say when I hear these stories about Jon is “wow… that’s too cool.”
But, don’t read this as a story of pomp and circumstances… Sugar and spice and all things nice. Jon, while he has grown a lot, didn’t start out a success story. When I met him he was a headache. Undisciplined, unfocused, ulcer causing to mom and dad… Actually, the day I met him he managed to roll over the families Camry while driving… while he was grounded from the car. Mom wanted to kill him. His sister wanted to kill him. His dad probably wanted to kill him but never said anything… let’s just say he was one of the first students I prayed for at Romeo. You just never knew what Jon would do. If something broke… he did it. If something was missing, he knew something about it. If someone was mad, Jon was at the middle. There were times I too wanted to ring his neck. I always liked him, but sometimes to a fault.

But as Jon started to surrender his life to Christ… his life turned around quickly. He never went back to summer school. He got into a lot less trouble. He has gradually taken on more responsibility. He’s made better choices for himself. He’s gotten into better relationships. He’s really become a joy to be around. This past spring, when he asked me to write some references for colleges, I wrote the same thing in every reference. “Please don’t make the mistake of reading Jon by the averages. Look at him as a tale of two students. One before and one after.”

Now what?
I heard a little talk about who would take Jon’s spot. I know a couple of the upperclassmen are making their claim. The truth is. There won’t be a replacement. Jon was unique, he was an individual. There maybe someone new in the front seat… but it won’t be Jon. We’ll have fun together and we’ll bond and it will be cool… but there won’t be a replacement. I’ll miss my road trip buddy… but I will move on.

Of course, just because he’s in college doesn’t mean I can’t take pointless road trips with him!

When I came back from Northern Ireland on Sunday, I was floored by the amount of work that had been done on the office renovation project at church.

If I had to gauge my “pre-construction” expectations on a scale of 1-10 I would have put it at about a 4. I just wasn’t sure that the people of the church really were excited about the building project and they weren’t ready to jump in and do the labor.

As has happened many, many times before… I was dead wrong! All this week there has been a constant stream of people coming to do one project or another. All of the old walls are down and hauled away. The old carpet… Gone. Old furniture… Well, it’s still there!

Can I help?
I felt guilty all week because every time I asked to help I just got starred at. It’s a common misconception that all pastors are white collar and don’t know how to do anything. OK, so I don’t know anything about cars… But I can do a thing or two when it comes to home improvement! I’ve swung my fair share of hammers, sledges, and more. I would call myself “acceptable” at electrical and dry wall. I am pretty good with a paint brush. I can do a lot of things… But often I just get handed a blank stare…

So today Bob and I just showed up ready to work. The “white collar guys” got handed the task of keeping the jobsite clean. I’ll admit, it’s an important job. But I’ve been on enough job sites to know that this is what they do to keep people busy who they don’t think can do anything.

I’m hoping that this week I can move up in the world from broom pusher and shelf mover to cement mixer. Perhaps, if I do really, really good… They’ll even let me carry dry wall.

Change in status
Life is funny when you make a big change. Prior to being a pastor most folks would look at me as blue collar. I’d get asked to help with folks cars, help people move, help with building projects, get called when something broke, etc. But as soon as I started being a pastor everyone looks at you differently. It’s assumed that you don’t know anything about building stuff or cars or anything other than theology. At most, I am given tons of credit for being good with computers…

The same thing was weird in Northern Ireland. I was the old guy when I am used to being the young gun. People used words like “wise” there while back home I get “nice opinion.” So… In 5mile 29 was old, but here in Romeo 29 is young.

If you get to thinking about it… This goes on forever. People assume that because I am in youth ministry that I am inexperienced and too green to do “real ministry.” On and on and on. They say you can’t judge a book by it’s cover… But no one in the real world seems to go by that.