You know, this has been on my mind for quite a while.
With Kristen and I settling down here in Romeo, I am constantly stuck with the thought… “Couldn’t I do better in ministry? Isn’t there some place other than here that is bigger, better, or more suited to my talents and what I really think I can do?” Am I settling for mediocre when I could have more?
I could sum it all up with this argument?
Am I happy here because I know this is where God wants me or am I happy here because I’ve decided this is where God wants me? How the heck am I supposed to discern between these two things?
I suppose some of this comes from my egotistical side. I look at co-workers in youth ministry who are less experienced and less educated than I am that are working for bigger, better, and growing like crazy churches. And I am here at a church that is slow growing… And in the process I’ve had to give up so much of what I love about ministry to take on roles that if I worked somewhere bigger or better I would never have to mess with. [Video editing, web development, oversee Christian Ed, Missions, Bonfire, on and on…]
I know from my training in counseling that this is a response a lot like a mid-life crisis… “Could I have made better decisions to get me further ahead in life?” I’m not nearly old enough to worry about this but I do!
Hold on, stop the bus!
This is where the conversation needs to stop. See, here’s the cool part. Jesus never promised any of us a “big church” or a showcase ministry. He simply called to his disciples, “Stop what you are doing, follow me.” Sure, some of those disciples ended their lives with thousands of followers… But some of them died alone, or nearly alone. Who started to lie to pastors that bigger is better or that we should even be comparing one church to another? This is an American invention… In a lot of ways… It is an American lie. [Yes, Satan is alive and working in the hearts and minds of America!] A church shouldn’t be judged by it’s size, it should be judged in its effectiveness. Is it an equipping church? Is it a church that teaches people the Bible? Is it a church that seeks to honor God with what the Lord has given it? Is it a church that thinks of others needs?
Why am I sitting here, having another internal debate about “bigger or better” when I should be resting in knowing that I am fortunate to work in a church that loves me and my family, that cares for us, that cares for others, that is equipping people, that gives away tons of money to missions, that teaches God’s Word, on and on… I am having this debate because I too get sucked into the lie all the time.
At the end of the day…
Right now, I know a few folks who are headed for greener pastures. In my world, this means that they have found a place to work in ministry that is Bigger or Better in their eyes than the one they are currently at. I wonder, how many skilled and trained youth workers out there are willing to take off their “big ministry” boots and invest their lives in a church that is “smaller and busted?”
Why is it that the most talented people only want to work at the churches that are already good? Why don’t those people chose to help small, struggling churches get healthy? Are they too good for that? Are their talents wasted? Is it “not worth their time?” Why aren’t Doug Fields, Bo Boshers, and all the other “big dogs” leaving their mega-churches to help other hurting churches?
How come so many youth workers look up to Mike Yacanelli, but when it comes down to it… They don’t have the balls to live like him? They read his books, they chuckled at his joke “I am the pastor of the slowest growing church in America” but they wouldn’t ever put themselves, their talents, their families, or their reputation in that situation. Let’s face it, a lot of youth workers out there HAVE EGOS THE SIZE OF THEIR YOUTH GROUPS. They are snobs who wouldn’t ever want to work with broken and busted churches. They hear what church I work at and head for the hills because we are too small, too broken, and can’t offer them anything of value. So the reality is, that they are in ministry for themselves and not for others. They have been trained and are getting experienced so that they can have easier jobs with more stuff and less problems. The concept of “others first” or “do unto others as you’d have them do unto you” is foreign to them. A lot of the “big guys” I know have bought into and perpetrate the lie “bigger is better.”
That’s why I am in Romeo. I think my talents are best suited here… small, broken, but getting better. When I play the franchise mode of a video game like Madden NFL 2005… I always take a busted team and make them better. When I get them to the Super Bowl… I start with a new team… Take a broken team and make them better. See, it doesn’t take much skill or talent to take a winner and turn them into a Super Bowl winner.
I wonder how many people in ministry out there have the guts to do that with their own lives?
Is it worth a lifetime to turn a loser into a winner? I guess I’ll let you know at the end of the day.
I am not a gross out game specialist. When I worked with Allied Force back in the day we used to love to make kids ralph. It was cool to get a kick to puke. There was nothing quite as fun as seeing some kid toss red atomic fireball mess all over the stage. In fact, the grosser it was the more students seemed to like it.
All of this to say that I don’t think LF will ever become a group that does tons and tons of gross stuff. Occasionally? Sure, why not? But I firmly believe in the simple principle that “You keep a student with what brought them there.” Until it proves itself wrong, I am going to stick with primarily basing LF around the Bible, worship, and togetherness. I want that to bring our students because I think that is something worth staying for.
