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This is a story I am telling as part of my talk tommorow. I think this is the first time I’ve shared it publically. The rest of the talk can be found at the download area of the Light Force homepage.

I’d like to tell you about 50 minutes of my life that has shaped the

rest.

As a sophomore in bible school, I was swimming in all of my

newfound knowledge and frankly overcome with optimism. At the same time I

realized I knew nothing and was completely inexperienced and yet I was confident

that God would use me to change the world.

Towards the end of the

fall term I was looking forward to wrapping up my classes and heading home for

the holidays. I had met the most beautiful girl on campus and fallen madly in

love with the woman who I was pretty sure I would marry.

All of

that changed one fall day in late November. The day was unremarkable in every

day. I had to work after school, I still had homework to do, and I had one last

class of the day. As I trotted into the athletic facility on Moody’s campus I

was looking forward to my indoor soccer class.

The class itself

was highly normal. Two teams engaged in a battle of footwork, skill, and funny

bounces. Our professor, the schools soccer coach, a man whom I greatly admired

in every way, played on the other team to even things out. After about 45

minutes of class, as the game ended and people muddled around, another student

and I decided to ditch out of class a few minutes early to get a jump on the

rest of the day.

Every other class I had ever had in that gym I

left using the door that went straight to the locker room. For an unknown reason

we sailed out of the main doors and into the main foyer.

We were

greeted by a very large man. We didn’t pay any attention to him as he walked in

our direction since we were engaged in conversation about the game. But the man

quickly drew our attention in that he screamed at us “I don’t want any trouble…

get behind the desk!” In the horror of that moment I saw a street person, dirty

and confused and obviously not belonging, and a gun.

In the next

3-4 minutes he quickly gathered about 10 students and employees behind the small

enclosure that was the main desk. People leaving classes, people coming to the

gym to work out, people on their way out of the office were all greeted like me.

“Get behind the desk.”

At first, I thought it was just a drill or

some kind of a joke. But when I took my place behind the counter I could see the

fear on the assistant athletic director’s eyes. This was real.

Joanne, the desk worker who first encountered this man sat on the

floor next to me praying. While she was overcome by fear, I was overcome by the

reality that if she didn’t flip the switch to lock the main doors, there would

be dozens of people behind this desk within 10 minutes or so. As he was off on

the other side of the foyer accosting some more unsuspecting students, Joanne

quickly stood up flip the switch on the desk to lock the doors and grabbed the

phone. She calmly called 911 and left the phone off the hook.

All

told, 34 people ended up behind that counter by the time the first Chicago

police officers arrived on the scene. Among them, about 20 students, a few

employees, the soccer coach, and the assistant athletic

director.

What struck us all was the frantic pace of the man who

had taken us hostage. This wasn’t a calm calculated criminal… he was obviously

distraught. Emotionally and physically he was shaking. When he wasn’t yelling at

us “Don’t move or I’ll kill you” he was talking to himself and pacing back and

forth in the large foyer. It was clear that he was formulating a plan as he went

and it clearer that he was well over his head. Clearly he wasn’t prepared to

have 34 hostages!

When the man became aggravated again, the police

wisely backed off and waited for more help outside. As soon as they were

outside, the man ordered Joanne to call WGN. The first three times she called,

she was hung up on. On the fourth attempt she was put on hold. Not pleased by

this lack of respect he told Joanne to stand up next to him. What he said next

will be etched on my brain the rest of my life. He yelled to the police, “You

get WGN here so I can read this letter then kill everyone!” Joanne fainted when

he said this.

The good news is that he realized that a 20 year old

woman sprawled out the floor wasn’t going to look good, so he immediately told 2

students to get her out of there. They were the first 3 people

released.

Within 15 minutes every news agency in Chicago had set up

a satellite on the campus of Moody Bible Insitute. About the same time we could

all see a large amount of police officers show up.

When they

disobeyed his order and gained entry to the building, he quickly grabbed the

soccer coach and decided he was going to use him as a human shield. Another

minute went by and he decided he needed more human shields; he pointed to me and

the assistant athletic director and motioned for us to stand in front of him as

well.

As I stood up and turned around with my back to this guy… I

realized that this was a big moment in my life. How had I gotten there? How was

I going to change the world if this maniac was going to kill me on WGN? I wasn’t

scared but I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. This man was about a foot

taller than me. He squeezed himself into a corner behind the corner with me

pulled tightly to his right side, Sean the athletic director was next to me and

Coach Harding was on the left side. Against my kidney was pressed the cold

reality of this guy’s gun.

As I scanned the foyer I saw a surreal

scene. I had seen guns before, but I had never had them pointed at me before. As

I looked out there were about 50 police officers and SWAT team members pointing

pistols, shotguns, and rifles pointed at us. The more the police talked to this

man, the more hostile he got. For the next few minutes I just stood there, half

contemplating my purpose in life and my life story and half trying to figure out

if I should be doing something.

It was at this moment that Coach

Harding decided he would start talking to this man. Unlike the police, he was

responsive to Coach. Coach started talking to him about why he was doing this.

The man just kept saying… “I need to kill some people for what’s been

done.”

I turned my head to look at Coach. I could see that Coach

was trying to look at him and he wasn’t looking back. So I decided to face my

fate and turn around. Sean and Coach followed suit. In retrospect I think it I

decided to do this because I wanted to look at this guy. If he was going to

shoot me it wasn’t going to be in the back.

In my fear I looked

into this mans eyes. The eyes that looked back at me were filled with terror and

anguish. But more than that I could see pain. Seeing his pain lead right into my

training… more than letting me go… I could see that this man needed the Lord

desperately. It all started to make sense in my mind. He hadn’t come here by

accident. He had come here, to a Bible college, to seek God.

In

the next few minutes he and I talked. As he looked at me and listened to my

testimony and gospel presentation Coach talked him into letting more people go.

By the time I came to the end of the Romans Road, he had let go everyone but the

three of us.

I had presented the gospel dozens of times before I

shared with this man. What was strikingly interesting about this time was how

much he listened. I knew he was disturbed, I knew he was probably strung out on

crack, but we were connecting. I could see it in his eyes. As I continued you

could see his body shrink. This had become a private moment between 3 believers

and a man seeking God. And yet the reality was that there were 50 cops ready to

kill him at worst and drag him off to jail at best. He started to weep. My heart

broke for him.

As he let me go and I walked away I actually felt

sorry for him. He had made a life-altering mistake but he was just a boy looking

for God the Father.

Within seconds, it was over. As I walked away

a dozen cops jumped on him.

As of right now, I have been working on the website since 9:00 AM. That’s about 10 hours too many if you ask me. I have a couple of little things to finish up and then it’s off to the rest of my day… or what’s left of it.

The good news is that the site is up and it looks good. I’ll be 100% happy with it once I get the menu issue resolved. I get the idea that this is a large scale problem though as it seems to be the talk of mambo-ites.

More on this later I am sure.

I am a huge fan of our Sony DCS-P52 digital camera. I use it all the time for family photos and ministry stuff. Practically every single picture I’ve taken in the past 2 years has been on this camera.

But I have a new problem. The handy Lexar 256 MB memory stick that I bought last year is acting up and I’m having a hard time diagnosing the problem. It does read on my PC but it won’t read in the camera. At first I wondered if perhaps that something was dirty in our camera… But that theory quickly faded once I placed a different memory stick in there.

So right now, I am contacting Lexar customer support to see if there is anything I can do or if I’ve just worn the poor thing out. It is under warranty… But we have to see if I have all the right stuff to get it replaced.

UPDATE: I just chatted with Lexar and they are going to replace the card. Unfortunately this means that I will need to buy a card today so we can take lots of pictures of the kids on Christmas, but the good news is that soon I will have two cards! I was actually planning on buying some more cards for the Northern Ireland trip this summer. Maybe by then I’ll be able to upgrade to a better camera?

No, I am not complaining about something at the church. But I will complain about this pounding headache. Ouch.

It’s been hard to get anything done today or to think clearly at all. The good news is that I have a light work day and it probably isn’t a big deal to be late on ym paper for school.

I fear I may be getting sick. Yuck. Everyone else in the house has had a cold and I really don’t want one. More on this later.

Last night was the big homecoming game, tailgate party and bonfire. I can only summarize it like this: I have no clue what is going on with Light Force.

On the good side we had all the usual subjects there. They are great and I love being around them. Also good news was the several of the golf team players dropped by to say hi. That was an unexpected blessing. (Odd that things go so well with one area of ministry when they seem so poor with another!) With everyone else I am just left wondering “what the heck is going on?” I know that there is intense social reality that sets in for some of our sophomores-seniors. They are OK with being with you at church and on outings… but stay away from my “real world.” That is classic adolescent dualism which I find so charming! Then there is the reality that “big church” is going worse than ever. Bad attitudes by parents just trickles down. There is yet another dynamic going on that I’m only starting to put my finger on.

I am a sarcastic guy. I mess around with students all the time. I embarrass them and it generally is no big deal. However, we are living in a time where my students are suddenly effected by it. I have no clue what is causing the sudden sensitivity… But students are apparently feeling less and less comfortable with me. This is something I need to work on. “How can I be the me that I like to be and yet reach this group of student right now?” Basically, and briefly, I need to adjust myself to do it. There’s no other choice.

Another little dynamic that’s gone on recently is me having to decide if I really want to be in Romeo. It’s been yet another gut check as things at the church seem to be sliding towards “terrible.” In the last week I’ve had to re-examine my motives and really commit my heart to whether I want to be here or if I’m open to going elsewhere if nothing changes. For right now, I am sold out on the idea that God is working here through me despite the larger problems that are going on. I want to stay in Romeo at this church for as long as possible. What does that mean? I don’t know. It does mean that I have to prepare myself for some impending, sin bathed, poor leadership decisions. It may mean that as the church struggles to pay it’s bill that they cut back on me… Their current biggest bill. But the big thing for me is that I am willing to stand by and take it all if I can only continue to invest in these students. Bottom line. I want to be here in 10 years and am willing to ride the boat no matter where this takes me. That’s a scary proposition for a father of two… But this is my commitment. I wrote a few months ago that this isn’t my life to keep since I’ve already given it away as an act of worship… So be it.

Well, I jsut sent this e-mail out to all of my adult leaders. This is after the worst attendence night I’ve ever had here in Romeo. I’m posting it here because I want others to see that I am not perfect… although I post some pretty nasty things from time to time… my poop stinks too.

Working in ministry has been the hardest thing I have ever done. On nights like this I can honestly say that I would rather work as a stocker at Wal*Mart. In the past few weeks it has been clear that the harder I work, the worse things have gotten. As my e-mail mentions… this will send me on a path of self-discovery. I need to wrestle with my failures and ask God… is this failure the result of something you are doing or is it the result of a sin in my life? Anyway… here’s the letter.

Co-laborers,

Hopefully you are all on your way to bed now. But it will be a longnight for me, let me explain why.I am completely and totally devastated by how poorly LF is going the last two weeks. Not only is there no one there, but enthusiasm stinks and the “group love” feel that I relished only a few weeks ago is adistant memory.

I don’t like working this hard and seeing such pooroutput… for some it makes them want to quit, but for me it makes mewant to succeed more. I want you to know a few things right off the bat…

– I may be discouraged and frustrated… but I’m not giving up.

– I know the habit at Romeo is to check out when things start to go bad… I just want to point out that we need to set a new trend for everyone else to follow… we shouldn’t check out when things get rough… we should put on our hard hats and get to work!

I’m not a mystical person at the core. While I know some of this could be a God thing… I recognize that there are some things I can do tomake sure it’s a God thing. So I’m not ready to accept “perhaps thisis what god is doing at Romeo” just yet. (Sounds like the talk tonight, eh?)

Numbers aren’t everything, but I am a fervent believer that numbers do indicate some things. The reality is that tonight was the smallest number of students in the past 15 months. By my count, there were only13 there. More than that… there is a certain smell of deflation inthe air.

How many would have been there tonight if there parents hadn’t made them come? I don’t think I really want to know… it would make me apply for a job at Wal*Mart in the morning! (Just as an indicator tohow far we’ve gone downhill… a year ago in September we averaged 38students.)

Let’s look at some factors.

– Students have homework or are involved in sports or otherwise busy

– Van kids can’t get there

– Parents lacking enthusiasm for life at Romeo is trickling down to

– Students are making choices among the myriad of “good things” and right now… we aren’t it.

– on and on and on

A simple observation (and you can make the same one with adults at\church) is that students are no longer looking for ways to make sure they are a part of LF… instead they desire to find excuses to not come. The excuse is the symptom of a much deeper issue.

Did you know that there are several students who are begging to NOT come? Did you know that at least one 9th grader is going somewhere else? I know for a fact that the Skomski girls would come if only someone would go pick them up. These are things that we can do something about… let’s not forget that.

As I reflect on this ugly problem I realize that there are some things that are the fault of leadership. (e.g ME!) I am seeing clearly that there are some environmental things that have surfaced that make it clear that we aren’t as healthy as we thought we are. We need to get back to basics and get better at the things that worked so well last year.

– I’ve clearly over-invested in the core at the cost of the group. This has resulted in a clique feel to LF… great if you’re in the clique… terrible if you feel outside of it. As I’ve tried to talk people into this weekends retreat it seems everyone has “something to do” but that’s all they are saying. (In other words… they don’t want to come!) This weekend will be a big part of stearing this clique away from “clique-centeredness” and all about reaching out to the group… I’ll be seeking to breaking the clique up into a mad crazy group of floaters. This will hopefully develop into a “clique with an attitude!”

– I’ve taken your tasks away and made your job too opaque. I can clearly see that you all need something more tanglible to do both on Wed. nights and in your contact work. I’m going to make it simpler for you. I am assigning students for you to contact on a regular basis.” Something as simple as saying “hey… this is Dave and I haven\’t seen you in a while at LF… how are you doing?” would open up a world of conversation. The reality is that people want to be missed and we’re not missing them!

You’ll notice that the core of students isn’t on anyones list… we all love Autumn, LisaB, Andrea, Jon, Michael, and Ted and we have completely spoiled them with attention. Believe me, they will get the attention even without being assigned to anyone. Everyone only has a few students each… you will figure out a way to hook up with them weekly. Maybe it’s a phone call to check on them, maybe it’s that you seek them out on Sunday AM to chat… but we have to do this… and we have to start doing it now! Please don’t skip on it… a little labor will go a long way. Do it on your commute! All of that stuff I’ve given you should be applied to these students… invest in them and I promise you the dividends.

– I’ve gotten so involved with my own contact ministry that the reason you pay me has gotten muddled… to people outside of the core it looks as though golf is all I care about. (Did you know that at least one deacon and another board member thought it was a job? I’ve never made a cent off of it and I don’t want to.) I’m not sure how I’m going to work this… but with 3 weeks to go in the golf season I’m seeing that the price has been too great this year. As much as I love it, and as many fantastic things have come out of it… it still comes at a high cost. It’s unlikely I should continue past this year.

– I’m calling a parents meeting fora Sunday in October. I meant to do this as soon as school started, but it’s gotten pushed around. Parents need to be on board with changes we have made as well as the simple nuts & bolts of what is going on… I need to be better at communicating with them.

I want to end this with the good news. The good news is that we know LF is a good ministry. This is without question. We know we are teaching truth and God has used us in the recent past to change the lives of students. I recognize that if we get ahead of this problem now… and really all focus to get it back on track… that this can be a real turning point for what God wants to do in Romeo. God wants to use these students as an instrument of seeing many students come to faith in Christ… and I know you all want to be a part of that. (So there’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow!)

Have a good night. I think I can sleep now.

Adam

p.s. One last thing. I really need you guys to be honest with me. If you’ve observed something that I haven’t covered… especially about me… I would like to encourage you to let me know. I can see that I need to reflect on some things and change some of the ways I am doing things… but your feedback is important to me. thanks

“Light Force desires to love God and love others by intentionally modeling a lifestyle devoted to becoming disciples of Jesus.”

 

Tonight I want to take a closer look at the part of our mission statement that says “intentionally modeling.”  It’s a loaded phrase, and a phrase that we can all learn to ignore… or we can all learn to do it and watch God use it in powerful and mighty ways.

 

Let’s start off by taking a look at the life of Jesus. Last week we looked at Jesus’ mission in life and part of that was modeling to his disciples… so let’s take a closer look at how Jesus did that for a few minutes. 

Mark 1:35-38 



What was Jesus doing? Praying alone

What were the disciples doing? Looking for him, they found him in prayer

Luke 4: 42-44



What was Jesus doing? Praying alone

What were the disciples doing? Looking for him, found him. (See a pattern?)

Luke 8:1

What was Jesus doing? Traveling from town to town, proclaiming the good news

What were the disciples doing? They were with him.

Luke 9: 1-2



What was Jesus doing? Sending the disciples out to drive out demons and cure diseases

What were the disciples doing? The disciples were sent out by themselves

Mark 10:14-15

What was Jesus doing? Both welcoming little children to his side and showing the disciples that this is what they were supposed to be doing

What were the disciples doing? With Jesus, but needing to be taught.

John 17:6-7; 18

What was Jesus doing? Praying for the disciples.

What were the disciples doing? John was there with him

John 20:19-22

What was Jesus doing? Appears to the disciples, gives them the Holy Spirit to continue ministry

What were the disciples doing? They were together and were still looking to be taught.

 

OK… so now we’ve had a chance to look at this, now let’s try to digest what it means for us. Let’s make some observations from Jesus’ life about modeling.

 

–         Did Jesus have accidental relationships?

–         Did the people in Jesus’ life always understand what Jesus was doing in their lives?

–         How did Jesus teach someone how to do a skill? 

The test environment:

Often times in the land of computer repair and software development, you have to create a place where you can control all the variables so that you can test something before you give it to a customer. Some places call this a test environment and other people call it a lab.

 

When I worked in the business world, Ricky the programmer that was assigned to me, ran two sets of computers. He had his “real world” computers that were doing the daily business of my department. The program he maintained handled millions of tasks a day. It created all the workload for my entire department. If that one computer went down, literally dozens of people would be sent home and hundreds of thousands of dollars would be lost. In some ways, the very reputation of this massive computer depended on that one computer doing its job every day.

 

Now Ricky wasn’t just in charge of maintaining this one program and this one computer. He was also in charge of implementing changes to the program that would make the program run faster or make the work get to the workers in such a way that they could do their jobs more efficiently. So I would sit down with Ricky and tell him which projects we needed as priorities and which ones were pet projects and which ones were not important at all.

 

Now, if you know anything at all about computer programming… you’d know that most of getting a complex thing to work comes down to trial and error. Ricky would sit down, do an immense algorithm, scratch his head for a few days and then begin writing the program to make a change work. Then he would take his modification and put it onto an entirely different computer… “a test computer” that wasn’t hooked up to the network. If his new program didn’t work, it didn’t really matter since the work that the test computer created wasn’t our real work… it was just pretend work. He was free to experiment and be creative and try new things because it was like practice work. If it failed, his boss would just shrug his shoulders because there was no harm done.

 

But eventually, after a lot of trial and error and a whole lot of testing, Ricky would get a modification ready to go. Only after he had carefully tested his program did he ever put it into the live environment to be used by my department. Obviously, there was more pressure to perform… but Ricky would always have a certain level of confidence because he knew it worked. 

This is kind of what Jesus was doing with his disciples while he was on the earth. Jesus kept his disciples in a test environment. They were close to their master. They could copy what he did and learn from him. And Jesus was modeling to them what they’d have to do in the real world after he was gone. 

Back in our world:

This is the kind of thing that we are creating with Light Force. We want to help you see this time in your life as a time to test things out.

Most of you here know for certain that you have a relationship with Jesus. So the aim for you in the youth group is to learn some skills that you will need when you are out on your own in the real world. You need a safe place where someone can come along side you and show you how to

 

–         Share Jesus with a friend

–         Study the Word for yourself so you can learn and grow on your own

–         Build relationships with friends that will last a lifetime

–         Learn how to really encourage someone

–         Learn how to pray consistently

 

This is your test environment. Feel free to experiment, make mistakes, ask questions, try new things, and get pushed into new things. Our leaders here are here to model that to you. And here’s the new twist… we leaders are learning ourselves how we can do that intentionally rather than accidentally. Feel free to ask us “Mrs. Dashe, why did you do that?” It’s OK… we want to be intentional that our role here as adults isn’t to baby-sit you, it’s to help you grow up in the Lord.

 

An example: Why are we offering an incentive for you to bring a friend on the Michigan’s Adventure trip? (Came from EQUIP, remember CPR?)

 

But there are some of you here tonight that have been doing this… that are frankly ready to do something else. To take the next step up.

–         You are ready to be the person on the other side of it that is ready to intentionally model to others a lifestyle of chasing after Jesus.

–         You’re already studying God’s Word on your own.

–         You’re already praying regularly.

–         You’ve already learned how to share Christ with your friends and have done it a few times.

–         You are ready to get equipped to minister to your friends in a big way.

 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear adults say things like “Light force is so important for our church because they are the church of tomorrow.” I usually smile and nod, but inside I’m thinking, “have you lost your mind… can’t you see that they are the church of today!

 

If there’s one thing that sticks with you tonight, I want it to be this penetrating thought.

 

Why are you here? Why do you live in this area? Why do you go to your school? Why are you friends with the people you are friends with? Why do you like the things you like?

 

Have you ever wondered that? Sure, you’ve made individual choices. You have your own likes and dislikes, etc. But you are who you are for a reason. If you know Christ and you have friends who don’t know Christ… it’s no accident that you are in their lives!