Tag: American Dream

  • DREAM Act & Youth Ministry

    Everywhere I’ve done youth ministry I’ve met undocumented students. (Chicago, Northern California, Suburban Detroit, and here in City Heights)

    But it wasn’t until I started doing youth ministry here in City Heights that I truly started to understand the difficulty they had in furthering their education and starting their own American Dream.

    Think of the uphill battle a student in our neighborhood climbs towards adulthood. Their parents brought them here when they were very young. They were put into an elementary school where they didn’t speak the language. But they’ve overcome obstacles beyond language. A lack of health care, parents with unstable jobs, parents who struggled with the stress of starting a new life in a new culture, (the divorce rate is high) rough schools, the temptation of gangs, the reality of substance abuse, the allure of teenage pregnancy, few meaningful extra-curricular activities, on and on.

    And despite everything– these students have succeeded by every measurement tool. tudents with high GPAs, excellent standardized test scores, held offices in their class, been star athletes… the top of their class.

    Born in quick sand sucking them towards a failure no one would blame them for. They have struggled, clawed, and fought their way through high school. They are living proof that hard work pays off.

    But, as it stands now, the American Dream ends there for all but a few.

    As they reach graduation, a waypoint on their way to what they can become, they are faced with a new struggle they might not be able to overcome: Their immigration status prevents them from many academic/financial aid opportunities they would otherwise qualify for. Likewise, their immigration status prevents them from another viable option towards a career in the military.

    To put that in perspective in my neighborhood: Future community leaders hit a roadblock towards education and military service and are left with few options towards a bright future.

    What does this have to do with youth ministry?

    The young adults in that video could just as easily be students in our youth group. And, in all reality, there’s a very good chance that there are students in your group facing the exact same problem. Our ministry isn’t just about preaching Good News, it’s about bringing good news to the neighborhood. See, this has everything to do with youth ministry here in San Diego and around the country!

    Photo from Politico (http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1110/45243.html)

    That’s where the DREAM Act comes in. Without going into a comprehensive immigration reform and all of its political pitfalls, it helps bridge a gap immediately that most people agree needs to get fixed.

    Purpose

    The purpose of the Development, Relief and Education of Alien Minors Act, also called the DREAM Act, is to help those individuals who meet certain requirements, have an opportunity to enlist in the military or go to college and have a path to citizenship which they otherwise would not have without this legislation. Supporters of the DREAM Act believe it is vital not only to the people who would benefit from it, but also the United States as a whole. It would give an opportunity to undocumented immigrant students who have been living in the U.S. since they were young, a chance to contribute back to the country that has given so much to them and a chance to utilize their hard earned education and talents.

    Would I qualify?

    The following is a list of specific requirements one would need in order to qualify for the current version of the DREAM Act.

    • Must have entered the United States before the age of 16 (i.e. 15 and younger)
    • Must have been present in the United States for at least five (5) consecutive years prior to enactment of the bill
    • Must have graduated from a United States high school, or have obtained a GED, or have been accepted into an institution of higher education (i.e. college/university)
    • Must be between the ages of 12 and 35 at the time of application
    • Must have good moral character

    Source

    For nearly 10 years the Dream Act has taken on many forms as it’s proponents have tried to get the law to pass through both the House and Senate. It has stalled or was killed every time.

    On December 8th, the bill was passed by the House of Representative. It was hoped that the debate in the Senate would begin immediately. Unfortunately, the Senate tabled a vote on the measure yesterday.

    Obviously, this is labeled a political issue.

    But in my world this is a social justice issue. These students have done everything right and the only country they’ve ever known prohibits them from pursuing their dreams. They have looked adversity in the eye and climbed past it’s sneering, snarling teeth and overcome everything to become  the embodiment of success our country adores.

    It’s time that this legislation passes and they are allowed to move on.

    More info:

    Wikipedia article

    Follow the story on Twitter, #dreamact

    Dream Act Portal (student activist site)

  • Have you declared independence?

    Photo by Creativity+ Timothy K Hamilton via Flickr (Creative Commons)

    There is something in our DNA as Americans which is completely antithetical to the life Jesus calls us to live. It is our staunch, stubborn, streak for independence.

    There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking the time to celebrate our nations independence from England. But let’s not get too caught up in it.

    As followers of Christ, Jesus asks us to be dependent on him. He is our provider and protector. He has proven himself over and again… And yet, our nature draws us to seek greater and greater independence from him.

    Seth Barnes has a great reflection on this:

    We are self-sufficient by nature; we have to be taught how to depend on and consult with our Lord. This is why the “American Dream” is so at odds with the life of God. The American Dream is about security and comfort. The two cars, the house, the nice job, the insurance policies, can all release us from the need to depend on God. None are wrong in and of themselves, they are just twigs in a nest.

    Jesus told his disciples to pray for their daily bread. When you need God to this degree, it gives you the opportunity to see His goodness as He provides, which in turn enables you to trust Him.

    I am one of many American Christians who struggle with this issue of trusting God (in the radical way that He wants to be trusted). Why? Because we don’t really have to trust Him. And many of us don’t fundamentally know if He is trustworthy.

    Self-sufficiency is an insidious trap that can sideline us for life from God’s Kingdom purposes. Which is why it is so important to practice the life of abandon as an exercise of our will before our nests become so comfortable that leaving them seems impossible.

    Happy Independence Day everyone – may God grant you a measure of dependence on Him as well. Read the rest

    Preach it Seth.

  • The Baby-god Myth, part four

    I don't want you to suck as parents!

    In part four of this series, I’ll offer some conclusions and solutions for reversing the trend of deifying our children. To catch up on the series, check out part one, two, and three.

    Where do we go from here?

    This is the important question. Hopefully you’ve read through this series and reflected on the situation, the parents you know, or even your own habits as a parents and thought, “There must be another option.” When baby Rex pops out of his mom’s womb he doesn’t deserve to be worshipped. He’s a child. To deify him really messes him up. And making baby Rex the center of your life really messes parents up, too.

    It wasn’t always this way. It’s not meant to be this way. And our society just can’t move forward with it being this way.

    Reflect on the goal of parenting

    I actually think most parents never stopped to think about the goal of their parenting. Just like an engaged couple only thinks about the wedding day (and night) and not the marriage, that same couple thinks about becoming parents but not the goal of raising a child. Then the kid comes and their life gets upside down in a pile of photos and dirty diapers. The default goal becomes the American dream. They never stop to think that maybe pursuing the American dream will be a nightmare.

    For me the goal is simple: I’d like my kids to become healthy, happy, and independent adults.

    Certainly, I’d love to see Megan or Paul grow up to be more successful than me. I’d love it if they chose a career path that I can brag about to my friends. But as think about that last statement… “that I can brag about to my friends” I guess I really mean that I want to brag about how satisfied my kids are. Are they pursuing their dreams the way I did? Have they found a spouse they adore? Is their work fun and fulfilling?

    Wow! That changes everything, doesn’t it? If my goal for raising my kids is that they are healthy, happy, and independent… I really can work backwards from that.

    That affords me a working backwards action plan that is reasonable and in line with what I know of God’s plan.

    God first, adults second, kids third

    You don’t have to be a psychologist to know this is true:

    • Healthy kids come from a healthy home.
    • Happy kids come from a happy home.
    • Independent kids come from parents who allow them to take care of themselves.

    Rather than try to offer advice for raising a healthy, happy, and independent child– I’ll just off the questions that we wrestle through. We don’t have it all figured out. But we have determined that we will not have a baby Rex. Our relationship with God is primary in our marriage. Our marriage flows from our relationship with God. And we believe (hope, pray, beg!) that if we get that right, there’s a pretty good chance that our kids will become healthy, happy independent adults.

    Healthy homes

    What does a healthy home look like? What role does church play? What are the rules? Are they comfortable and safe in their role as a child? What are the boundaries? What are the rewards? How does a healthy home talk to one another? How does a healthy home motivate children? What type of schedule does a healthy home maintain? How many nights of activities does a healthy home have?

    Happy kids

    What is the profile of a happy kid? Do they have chores? How are they treated? Are they given autonomy? Do they have friends? Are their lives scheduled? How is success measured? Are they a project to be managed? Are they trusted? How do they acquire stuff? What role does church play in a happy kids life? What role does discipline play?

    Independent kids

    Can they make choices for themselves? Can they care for themselves? Do they know how to clean? Do they know how to earn money? Save money? Budget money? Do they know what to look for in a friend? Can they handle social dynamics? Do they bear the weight of the consequences for their choices? Can they have conversations with adults?

  • Success and the American Dream

    Is this what you're after? Something tells me its not as easy as just buying it and sailing away.

    Have you ever noticed that people who have reached the pinnacle, the elusive American Dream, are actually miserable?

    “That’s just a Hollywood cliche.” Really? Think about your own interaction with highly successful people… I don’t think it’s a cliche. There are just as many miserable successful people as there are unsuccessful people.

    Here are some elements of what we define as people who’ve achieved the American Dream:

    • Big lifestyle (cars, houses, travel, jewelry, boats, planes, and other stuff)
    • Big notoriety (everyone knows who they are in their circle of influence, people talk about who they hang with, people are jealous of stuff they do)
    • Big influence (the stuff that they do makes others think, act, or spend)
    • Big power (they get to tell a lot of people what to do, they call the shots, they are monarchy at their work)

    While on the surface all of those things sound great, I think there’s a real reason why they are miserable.

    They are big, powerful, and wealthy… but none of that has brought them the freedom that sent them looking for the American Dream in the first place. It’s all come with entrapments.

    • Big lifestyle comes with a high cost of ownership. Buying stuff is fun, paying for upkeep and maintenance results in a lot of very wealthy people being in a lot of debt. They simply have to keep working just to maintain all the crap they own. You’d think that these people could control their schedules? Nope, they have to work 14 hours per day so they can keep the illusion going.
    • Big notoriety comes with a high cost of inconvenience and friendship politics. Within the rich and powerful there is a complex game to be played. You can’t just be seen with “anyone,” you need to be seen with the right people. And if you get too much notoriety you can’t be seen anywhere because going places just becomes annoying. People just wanting 5 minutes so they can say they met you… that sounds like a life full of hollow relationships to me. True friendship has got to be hard to find. Accountability? Yeah, right.
    • Big influence is a double-edged sword. This may seem like a lot of fun on the surface, but it comes with a ton of pressure. When the words that you say, the stuff you use, and the thoughts you think effects so many people– that influence comes with unlimited scrutiny.
    • Big power also means big responsibility. (You’ve heard that a million times!) Sure, it’s fun to call the shots. Who doesn’t like feeling like the genie every once in a while? But big power comes with the big expectation that you’ll deliver every time. The world holds its breath for Steve Jobs to reveal his latest gadget… but all the pressure is on him to reveal something that doesn’t suck. If it sucks, it was his call and a lot of people lose their livelihood. That’s a pretty stressful place to be every day.

    Sometimes when I look at the lives “rich and successful” people lead, I am repulsed. Seems more like a nightmare than a dream. That isn’t success! It’s a life of working 24 hours per day and being stressed about every relationship and decision. Yuck.

    I say these things because I’m beginning to dream of a different American Dream.

    If I’m honest, my American Dream has freedom at its core. (not acquiring stuff) I don’t want my stuff to own me so I want to make life simpler, not more complex. Buying stuff I can afford with cash is simple. The more I do that the more I like it. Notoriety isn’t nearly as intriguing as having truly deep relationships with a handful of friends. It is nice to be recognized for the right reasons, I can’t lie about that. But big influence? I’m working hard to have influence over my own actions! I suppose if that trickles out beyond me to my neighbors and community… cool, but I don’t dream of me speaking and an army of people doing. (Or watching a reality show about me) Really, I dream of having influence with a small number of people who also have influence in my life. Power? Only if that power leads to doing good for other people and having fun along the way. With that said, the power worth pursuing is to have enough power to truly have freedom.

    The old-style American Dream just feels tired and complex. I watch TV shows about them and just feel sorry for their life. This new-style American Dream makes me smile. Simplicity leads to freedom.

    Help me work this out a bit. Where does this new American Dream fall flat?