Tag: confession

  • The Sacred Act of Pulling Weeds

    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

    1 John 1:9

    Sometimes in the movies the bad guy goes into a church confession booth. He sits down heavily in the chair and the priest says, “Son, how long has it been since your last confession?” A cold, violent voice answers back, “Father, it’s…. it’s been a long time.” And then the bad guy takes a deep breath and slowly confesses his sins– murder, rape, deception, adultery, etc.

    The unspoken narrative is that he’d come a long way from the nervous boy making his first confession as a boy. He hadn’t been to confession enough.

    Confessing Sins is Like Pulling Weeds

    I love my garden. There is something wholesome and beautiful about growing your own food. When you tend a garden your falls into a sacred rhythm. You become more aware of heat and season and wildlife because each plays a role in your garden. Each day you do a little bit of work and every day you enjoy a little bit of harvest.

    Watering, fertilizing, pruning, preparing the soil… And pulling weeds. Every day you have to pulls some weeds.

    If I pull weeds for 5-10 minutes every day I can keep it in control. The weeds aren’t a big deal. They are easy to pull and haven’t done much damage.

    But if I take a few days off from pulling weeds it becomes a bigger deal. Weeds reproduce fast so there are more of them to pull and they are harder to kill because they have taken root in the soil. Not only have they begun leaching nutrients away from my vegetables, but their roots may have begun to intertwine with the roots of my vegetables, which means I’ll do damage to the good roots in the process of pulling the bad roots out.

    If I take a week or two off from pulling weeds I’ll have a major problem. Weeds grow fast and tall and begin to choke out the good stuff. Fixing it becomes a major chore and it’s probably already too late.

    I’ve found this to be exactly like confessing sins  to another believer. When I regularly check in with someone, confessing sins in a sacred life rhythm keeps the sin in check.

    It’s when I fall out of the habit, when I go weeks or months or even years without truly sharing with someone what’s really going on– those little sins take root and mature. They grow big and begin to choke out the good stuff.

    And it’s a lot of work and a lot of pain to get them out of my life. 

    HT to Brian and Kevin and our high school small group. This post came directly from our discussion on 1 John last Wednesday. 

    p.s. Yes, I know I’m blogging about weeds on 4/20. Not that kind of weed, stoner.

    Photo credit: Dreamcatcher-stock via Deviant Art

  • How to be a great church leader

    Sometimes I think that being a great leader in the church looks like being a great leader in everyone’s eyes. After all, greatness is not achieved until you are publicly recognized as great, right?

    • I start to read books about being a business leader and think, I want to do that!
    • I like to listen to interviews with politicians who have done amazing things around the world, and I contemplate a life in public service.
    • I’m drawn to quotes of big time leadership speakers plastered all over Twitter. Wow, I want to say things that brilliant!
    • I feed off of and find energy from success stories of non-profit leaders making a big impact in our community. How can I do stuff with that much impact?

    I confess that when I gobble that stuff up I secretly start to aspire to be like those people. I envy their roles, positions, and greatness. I want to measure my success against the big things those people are doing. I would love it if people looked at me and said, “Wow, Adam is a great leader. Look at his list of accomplishments.”

    Yesterday, my pastors message was just the reality check I needed. I needed to be reminded that in Jesus’ upside down, bottom-up leadership economy… it’s the servant who is a great leader. (And not “servant” for the sake of saying you’re a servant leader in sermons, books, or as a public persona in the way the Christian media portrays it.)

    At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. Matthew 18:1-5

    Want to be great in God’s upside down leadership economy? Serve the least of these. (Matthew 25:40)

    • The guy who vacuums the carpet in the sanctuary is greater than the guy playing the guitar in front of the congregation.
    • The nurse who wipes away the vomit from a disabled child’s nostrils at 2:15 AM is greater  than doctor who’s name is on the door.
    • The pastor who visits the sick, has homeless people move in with him, or runs a middle school small group is greater than the pastor who preaches in front of thousands, meets only with the powerful in the church, or assigns visitation to lesser employees.
    • The pastor at the tiny church in a small town people wince at when you mention it is greater than the megachurch pastor in Americas Finest City.

    The good news of becoming a great leader in the church

    • No pedigree required.
    • No seminary degree required
    • No ordination required
    • No recognition from a governing body required
    • No board approval required
    • No website required
    • No money needs to be raised

    All you have to do, to be great in Jesus’ upside down leadership economy, is to serve the least.

    Then he told them what they could expect for themselves: “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat—I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? If any of you is embarrassed with me and the way I’m leading you, know that the Son of Man will be far more embarrassed with you when he arrives in all his splendor in company with the Father and the holy angels. This isn’t, you realize, pie in the sky by and by. Some who have taken their stand right here are going to see it happen, see with their own eyes the kingdom of God.” Luke 9:23-27, The Message

  • I’m a walking contradiction

    My life in a Bible verse:

    “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.” Romans 7:15-17

    I’m a walking contradiction.

    Outside of the sin world– and boy am I a sinner– this verse speaks into a lot of other areas of my life.

    And in the gray areas of life, things where it isn’t abundantly clear it’s a sin issue, I’m literally a contradiction.

    • I love my kids, but boy do I love to spend time alone with Kristen.
    • I love spending time with the students in the youth group, but every Tuesday night I struggle to make time to go to youth group and hang with them.
    • I love my church, but I’m quick to wonder if we’re going to the right church.
    • I love the people of Haiti, but to live there? Not in this lifetime.
    • I hate big box stores, but when I need something in a pinch you’ll find me at Target, Home Depot, or Costco.
    • I hate disappointing my children, but I also know that if I give them whatever they want they won’t become the people we hope they become.
    • I hate discrimination against people, but if I’m honest I do it without thinking all the time.
    • I hate people who talk on their phones while driving… even with a headset on, but I do it all the time.

    This is the problem I face every day. I want to be a person of integrity. I want to be a person who makes the right choice for the right reason every time. But life is full of so many contradictions that I’m often left feeling like a hypocrite. I intend to do everything based on my convictions… but I fail a whole lot.

    I do the things I don’t want to do and I can’t stop myself. I even do the things I don’t want to do without thinking about if I want to do them or not. People say I’m a good person and I’m quick to say thank you. But when someone points out my faults I’m just as quick to try to justify myself.

    What’s the moral of the story?

    I’m no better than anyone else. I’m just as much a mess as the guy next door. I need to remind myself constantly that the Gospel is just as much for me as it is for my neighbor.

    To take a stance that I’m somehow better or less a sinner only validates a position that I’m a hypocrite.

    “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

    Through Christ, I’m a walking contradiction, forgiven purely by grace.

  • “Who Are You Anyway?” a year later

    who-are-you

    On May 27th 2008 I wrote the following here on my blog:

    Recently, God has been all up in my video about who I am. It’s crazy how easy I get my identity wrapped up in what other people think of me. I suppose being in a public position will do that to you.

    One of the things that Bill Clinton was always accused of as President was that he based a lot of decisions on public opinion. As much as I disdained that style of leadership I recognize it as a legitimate way to handle yourself when all eyes are on you. “Just do what the majority wants and everything will be OK.”

    But I don’t think that’s leadership.

    Adam’s definition of what a leader is: A leader takes you where you don’t want to go on your own.

    Not only do I want to be a leader that takes people where they don’t want to go on their own… I want to be the type of person who is lead by God in ways that I wouldn’t do on my own.

    Confession #1: I’ve gotten wrapped up in being called a leader.

    Confession #2: I get wrapped up in being called a pastor.

    Confession #3: I want to get more wrapped up in my identity as a daddy and husband than as “Pastor Adam.”

    Flash forward to May 27th 2009, let’s check in. Since this is all about self-reflection I suppose I’m mostly looking at myself in the mirror and asking if I am happy with the progress.

    Confession #1: Is my identity still wrapped up in being called a leader? The irony is that these days I’m just getting labeled as a different type of leader than I was a year ago. My attitude about it is a lot different. My experiences in the last year with YS has caused me to add a couple of words to that definition as well: A leader takes you where you don’t want to or don’t know how to go on your own. In my new life/role I don’t think I’ve ever once stood up “as the leader” and been the leader. Certainly, in my day-to-day life now no one is calling me a leader. And I think that’s helped me shift my identity a ton.

    Confession #2: I get wrapped up in being called a pastor. I’m not wrapped up in anyone calling me a pastor. Not in the least. I have a hard time remembering the last time someone called me “Pastor Adam.” That phrase seems silly to me right now. It’s not that I’m any less qualified than I was 12 months ago, it’s that I don’t have that title slapped on me anymore and so people stopped referring to me by that. Ironically, I think I get to do nearly as much pastoral leadership/wise counsel as a non-pastor than I did as a pastor. Figure that one out.

    Confession #3: I want to get more wrapped up in my identity as a daddy and husband than as “Pastor Adam.” There’s a sound that has to be emmited when you read that sentence. So read it again and then exhale loudly. That’s what I feel when I read that. Am I closer to that? Absolutely! Am I there yet? I think if you change that quotation from “Pastor Adam” to “Adam McLane” then I see I still have some work  to do. I still struggle with this one. I think I will always struggle with this one as there are competing realities that I just have to cope with. But I think there has been progress. I feel way more connected to my kids and to Kristen than 12 months ago. I look back at Fall 2005- Spring 2008 and feel a lot of regret and darkness over how things spun out of control. I’m thankful we’re headed in a much healthier direction today.

    I guess I need to think about new confessions for 2009. Certainly, I have work to do. As a work in progress-type Christian I will always have work to do. But it feels good to look back on 12 months ago and see how far I’ve come. God’s grace, patience, and lovingkindness have been abundant in this past year. I pray that God continues to break me in the months to come. I pray He reveals to me more areas of my life I need to change… and even publicly confess.