Tag: i’m an idiot

  • I’m a walking contradiction

    My life in a Bible verse:

    “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.” Romans 7:15-17

    I’m a walking contradiction.

    Outside of the sin world– and boy am I a sinner– this verse speaks into a lot of other areas of my life.

    And in the gray areas of life, things where it isn’t abundantly clear it’s a sin issue, I’m literally a contradiction.

    • I love my kids, but boy do I love to spend time alone with Kristen.
    • I love spending time with the students in the youth group, but every Tuesday night I struggle to make time to go to youth group and hang with them.
    • I love my church, but I’m quick to wonder if we’re going to the right church.
    • I love the people of Haiti, but to live there? Not in this lifetime.
    • I hate big box stores, but when I need something in a pinch you’ll find me at Target, Home Depot, or Costco.
    • I hate disappointing my children, but I also know that if I give them whatever they want they won’t become the people we hope they become.
    • I hate discrimination against people, but if I’m honest I do it without thinking all the time.
    • I hate people who talk on their phones while driving… even with a headset on, but I do it all the time.

    This is the problem I face every day. I want to be a person of integrity. I want to be a person who makes the right choice for the right reason every time. But life is full of so many contradictions that I’m often left feeling like a hypocrite. I intend to do everything based on my convictions… but I fail a whole lot.

    I do the things I don’t want to do and I can’t stop myself. I even do the things I don’t want to do without thinking about if I want to do them or not. People say I’m a good person and I’m quick to say thank you. But when someone points out my faults I’m just as quick to try to justify myself.

    What’s the moral of the story?

    I’m no better than anyone else. I’m just as much a mess as the guy next door. I need to remind myself constantly that the Gospel is just as much for me as it is for my neighbor.

    To take a stance that I’m somehow better or less a sinner only validates a position that I’m a hypocrite.

    “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

    Through Christ, I’m a walking contradiction, forgiven purely by grace.

  • Change my heart, first

    I’m a pain in the neck to be around.

    When I’m “on” I have the ability to poke holes in everything. I always see things from another point of view. I can find fault in any system, organization, strategy, person, nation… darn near anything.

    My personality is a double-edged sword. Sometimes I see things so clearly and I think, “If things are going to change I need to change THAT.” That’s the positive side of my personality. The negative side is that I am slow to look at myself and say, “Before I can point out the speck in that persons eye, I need to deal with the plank in my own.” Matthew 7:3

    So that’s my prayer. When I am anxious for change I need to pause and ask God, “Change my heart, first.“

  • Your Weekly Dose of Adam

    Here’s a round-up of stuff that I’ve appeared in lately. It’s kind of crazy, but of all the stuff I write and do on a regular basis… only about 33% of it is here on my blog. So, here’s the tour de Adam:

    [Commercial] I have to give a special shout-out to Matt Cleaver. His blog has been giving me tons of love lately. I look forward to his posts popping up in my Google reader, if you do youth ministry you should head over there and subscribe to his RSS too. [/commercial]

    – Youth Hacks interview: I spoke to Josh Cook about all sorts of stuff we’re doing at this year’s NYWC. It starts off slow and gets increasingly better. When  I do early morning stuff like this I need to remember to drink 2-3 cps of coffee first.

    – YS Podcast: Each Monday I host the podcast for Youth Specialties. My part is typically pretty small in that what appears on video is just me doing the intro, segway, and closing. It’s just a little dose of Adam McLane with your big meety dose of youth ministry goodness.

    – We’re hosting a rummage sale: We’re downsizing our offices at work, this is a little post I did letting local folks know. If you live in SoCal you won’t want to miss it. (Though, I’m actually missing it! Kristen and I are sneaking off to San Franscisco that weekend.)

    – Cell phone poll: This is my shortest post, but I was very interested in the results. Who would have thought that 20% of youth workers currently have an iPhone?

    – Bagillions of youth ministry links: Part of my role in putting together the 3 newsletters per week at work is to help keep youth workers around the country up on news effecting adolescence. I use Delicious to do that, I’m really thinking I need to start adding blogs to Delicious too. Thoughts?

    – The Trust Business: Each week I write an article for YMX. This week’s one struck a cord (in a good way) with folks.

    – May conference call: One of the smaller changes we’re making to NYWC is trying some new ways to communicate to folks about our conference. Here’s a recording of May’s conference call with Mark Oestreicher. Just like the podcast, I’m the moderator. (June’s conference call will feature Mark Matlock.

    – The best small group ever: This post continues to live on. I was happy to hear that the story was distributed to our church staff. I guess it connected with them, they re-posted it an article in their quarterly newsletter.

    – What Happens to the Coddled?: Rants never cease to amaze me. This one touched a nerve. It continues to float around the internet… forwarded from parent to parent. There’s even a rumor that this may re-surface as a parenting resource. I’m brewing another parenting rant. One that will hopefully continue to wake up the parents who coddle.

    Am I missing something? Probably. Each week I am amazed at how much I write! What’s my secret? Discipline. Things don’t write themselves, you know? What’s my second secret? A journal. Want to write more? Get a journal at Target for $7.