Tag: joseph

  • Leading without Anger

    It’s hard to imagine what was going through Joseph’s mind. For 40 years he imagined this moment — He saw his brothers. (Reread Genesis 42, it’s fascinating.) When he was just a teenager these brothers staged his death, sold him to some travelers as a slave, and lied to their father about his disappearance.

    • For 40 years his brothers owned the secret.
    • For 40 years Joseph wondered what he might do if he saw them again.

    And here they were. Penniless and in desperate need of food. And here was Joseph. The man with the power to silently execute judgement on them. They didn’t recognize him and no one in the room knew they were his brothers.

    He held all of the power over their life and death.

    And here was his moment of confrontation! He had the power to do whatever he wanted to them!

    Leading Without Anger

    Inside Joseph screamed this truth: They wanted to destroy me. They wanted me dead. They lied to our father.

    But. BUT. BUT…

    They didn’t have the power to harm me. They didn’t have the power to destroy me.

    And I do…. so what am I going to do?

    He lead without anger. He made the radical choice to not empower the voice of revenge. He made the choice to not execute judgement. He made the choice, instead, to give power to leading his people forward and towards a new life.

    We Have to Make This Choice

    Leading with and without anger looks the same. There is only a silent difference between driven by a dream and driven by anger. Only you will truly know. Like Joseph, leading without anger is a daily, intentional choice to make.

    In my own life I am very competitive. I’m driven by dreams and aspirations, some of which are decades old while others are brand new. There’s a fine line between wanting to do my very best, wanting to “win” versus wanting others to lose. [Sidenote: I’m a golfer. We view competition differently than football players. Wanting to win is not truly wanting others to lose. Golfers cheer for one another, wanting everyone to do their very best, while at the same time trying to win. That’s why Ernie Els consoled Adam Scott in the scorers tent at the British Open, he was happy he won but sad his friend lost by not playing his very best.]

    I do have things that could allow me to be driven by anger. (We all do.) There’s temptation there. There’s energy to be found in relying on anger to drive your dreams.

    But doing that give your adversaries, those who have sought to harm or even destroy your work, all the power. It’s leaning into the sin of the Garden instead of the redemptive hope found in Jesus.

    True power is not in the execution of revenge, it’s in having the opportunity for revenge but choosing redemption.

    “Do not be overcome with evil. But overcome evil with good.” 

    Romans 12:21

    Photo credit: The Brick Testament

  • To be like Joseph

    Mr. Insignificant

    You don’t get much more insignificant in a family of 12 than being number 11. As the 11th born you aren’t the baby of the family. And in this case you aren’t even the last baby boy. You are just number 11 with an abundant allotment of big brothers.

    Joseph was an insignificant son with significant dreams. One night Joseph had a dream that one day he’d rule over his brothers. This was a seemingly impossible dream. And, sophomorically, he told his big brothers about his dream which lead to them hating him.

    All throughout Joseph’s life he lived in the reality that he was chasing his dreams but his anti-dream was also chasing him. Over and over again we see Joseph’s life take wicked turns. His brothers staged his death while selling him into slavery. His slave owners trade him like a camel and he ends up in Potifer’s house. There he becomes the object of a cougar’s affection causing him to flee naked from the house before being caught, accused of adultery, and thrown in prison. On and on this calamity continues– his whole life!

    Life didn’t just deal Joseph lemons. Life dealt him poison.  Joseph was a man with big, significant dreams but a murderous monkey on his back.

    But that never stopped Joseph’s dream. He worked towards that dream, not knowing if it’d ever come true. Until one day it did!

    We are all Joseph

    Most of us are insignificant. By birth, by education, by performance, and by recognition… we are not born rulers or leaders of tribes.

    But we all have dreams. Some are aspirational and within reach. And some are so big that our dreams make the 6 year old who lives inside of us blush to mention them in public.

    We are all driven by dreams while gravitational held back by circumstance.

    Joseph’s Posture

    With all the crap that hit the fan in Joseph’s life no one would have blamed him if he’d defined himself by the poop splattered on the wall of his life. Everywhere he turned there were people sinning against him, seeking to destroy both him and his dreams.

    Instead, Joseph makes a radical choice. He refused to allow the sins of others to define his life and ruin his dreams. No one could have forced him to do that. It came from within. It was a daily posture he took as he continually kept his eye on his dreams. He worked hard, he overcame, and eventually– his dreams came true.

    The Cycle Ends with Me

    When I think about my own life and my own dreams it is easy for me to think of all the obstacles. I can point to specific instances where my dreams were thwarted because someone sinned against me. (In some cases, maliciously intending to harm me.)

    But the choice is mine. I can define my life by taking a victims posture or Joseph’s posture. I could be destroyed, defined, and devastated by the sins against me OR— supernaturally and by God’s grace– I can decide that the cycle of retribution, revenge, anger, malice, and sin ends with me.

    I can’t control my circumstance but I can control my response to my circumstances.

    You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

    Genesis 50:20

  • That Slimy Boy

    Photo by Jon Ovington via Flickr (creative commons)
    Photo by Jon Ovington via Flickr (creative commons)

    While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:6-7

    The incarnation of Jesus is messy business. Like, the physical act of it. Not pretty. As we approach the sterile corporate approved holiday of Christmas that we celebrate today, maybe we need a step back to remember just how messy Jesus coming to earth really was?

    I don’t know if you’ve witnessed child-birth personally. But I’ve seen it and it isn’t beautiful. It’s popular to say child-birth is beautiful… it isn’t! I don’t know where this notion comes from. It’s interesting, it’s miraculous, I’d even call it cool– but it is not beautiful in the sense of a Monet painting or the Christmas display at Marshall Fields or the Cubs winning the pennant. Child birth is anything but beautiful.

    And modern birth is a lot safer than it was back 2000 years ago. Even in today’s modern hospitals child-birth is still bloody, agonizing, stinky, and otherwise unpleasant. I can’t imagine child-birth outside of a hospital. Maybe you can. But to me it just seems really scary.

    Now put yourself in the shoes of a teenage girl. Away from home, pregnant for the first time… and your water breaks. Wonderful. Labor and delivery of Jesus was not in a hospital, hooked up to monitors, comforted by nurses and a lovely drug man offering pain management. Jesus was born outside of the inn. The text just highlights that there was no room for them in the inn, so Jesus could have been born in a barn or a cave or just outside.

    And who can blame the innkeeper? If you showed up at my house with a woman in labor– I’m not about to give you a room in my house so your wife can drop all that stink and nastiness in one of my rooms for a couple bucks. Would you let them into your place of business? I think not.

    We think of Jesus’ physical arrival in such clean modern medicine ways, don’t we? Let’s not lose sight of the blood and agony of Mary so quickly.

    • A young woman in a lot of pain.
    • Since she was traveling for the census, her mom probably wasn’t with her.
    • It’s reasonable to think that Joseph and Mary traveled with his family. So maybe Jesus was born within the presence of his grandmother or aunts? The text doesn’t say. Either alone completely– or this virgin was bearing her goods to her husbands relatives. Talk about awkward.
    • She sits down or squats to deliver a baby. No birthing suite. In the ancient world they let gravity do much of the work.
    • If modern child-birth feels touch and go, imagine child-birth in the ancient world? Hell on earth. It’s not like they had the option of a C-section.
    • As Jesus’ little head pops out we have no idea how scary that moment was for everyone there. But I will guarantee you no one pulled out a little suction thing and sucked the fluid out of Jesus’ nose.
    • No one felt safe enough to ask Joseph, “Would you like to help deliver your child?” I will guarantee you that. Joseph probably wasn’t even allowed to be present.
    • After delivery, no nurses took the baby to wash him and wrap him up to lay him warmly on mom’s belly while a doctor uses sterile instruments to clean up. How did they get that cottage cheese stuff off of him?
    • If Jesus was born in a stable or barn, let’s hope there wasnt’ a dog. They like to lick stuff like that. My dogs runs around and licks when the kids spill cereal. Yeah, let’s hope there wasn’t a dog present. There probably was.
    • No big moment when the doctor asks Joseph if he’d like to cut the cord.
    • The “it’s a boy” moment was just a confirmation of what the angels already told Mary & Joseph.
    • No one pulled a sterilized Jesus aside to check his Apgar score.
    • No balloon bouquet or digital pictures of the infant fly around the world so that family can instantly know the baby is healthy and mom is OK. Word probably traveled fast back to Mary’s family… but a couple of days at the very least.

    The act of Jesus coming to earth– slimy at best. Death defying to say the least.

    And yet, on December 25th, the entire world pauses to remember this moment. Messy, bloody, gross, and scary. The act of remembering, symbolized by the exchange of gifts and family celebrations, is celebrated in almost every country in the world! Even people who are diametrically opposed to Jesus celebrate Christmas.

    Black Friday. Mall parking lots. Santa Claus. Candy canes. Shopping lists. Ham. Credit card debt. Somehow God is in all of that, too? Something like 30% of retailers cash flow comes in the 30 days surrounding Christmas.

    That’s a lot of cash spent remembering a baby people don’t believe is the Savior of the world.

    The act of incarnation. God becoming flesh. 2,000 years later it is still sending shock waves, isn’t it?

    Messy, slimy boy.

  • Tammy

    The other day I was driving our truck on the way to pick up Kristen from work. Megan and Paul were in a mood and bickering in the backseat. Among other things Megan was kicking the front seat, annoying my passenger while laughing when I told her to stop. Dave, our house guest, was being good in the front with me.

    In a moment of sheer evil I piped up over the bickering and told the kids a story. “Hey guys, did daddy ever tell you about our other daughter?” Dead silence filled the car. “Yeah, she came before you Megan. (7 years old) One day we were driving along and she was being naughty. She wouldn’t stop kicking mommy’s seat and she wouldn’t listen to daddy when he told her to stop. So daddy stopped the car and left her on the side of the road. Then we had you two. You wouldn’t want to be like Tammy, would you?”

    There are a few moments in parenting when you’re certain you’ve said something that your kids will spend their twenties telling a counselor about. This was one of them.

    Thankfully Megan saw right through it. So did Paul. (5 years old.) Megan said, “Daddy, that’s not true. You’re just trying to get us to stop being bad.” Paul chimed in, “Tammy isn’t real.” [pause] “Is she?”

    Laughter filled the cab and Dave exhaled loudly. He couldn’t believe I’d made up such a horrible tale!

    I think Tammy may be around for a while too. Tonight, as Kristen was putting the kids to bed and reading about Joseph, Megan had an aha moment. “So Joseph was kind of like Tammy, right? An annoying member of the family that everyone wanted to get rid of?” Kristen somehow kept it together and agreed with her.

    Then, as Kristen climbed out of Megan’s bed, my little girl had to get the last word.

    Megan: “Why did Tammy cross the highway?”

    Mom: “I don’t know, why?”

    Megan: “To get to the other side after daddy left her.”

    I never claimed to be parent of the year.