Tag: kids

  • 3 Things I Don’t Want to Hear From a Pastor…. EVER!

    Now that I’m a regular Joe sitting in the pew on Sunday morning, I’ve gotten a chance to discover some things that are awkward for the audience to hear. In short, I don’t think pastors should say these things… EVER!

    1. Talk about your sex life. How gross is it to hear any 40 something year old man talk about sex with his spouse? It’s especially gross for a pastor to talk about having sex with his wife while she sits and blushes in the audience. And Ed Young, yeah… we know sex is beautiful… but no one wants to know how many times you had sex in a week. I think I just puked in my bulletin.
    2. Talk about your past careers. I know working at a church can pretty redundant and boring. And sometimes you feel like your role is insignificant next to the corporate types who write the big checks. Get over it, you aren’t a _____ anymore. You’re a pastor, your congregation loves you, and we know you could make more money elsewhere. Please don’t remind us of that every week, we don’t care.
    3. Using your kids sin as an illustration. Holy smokes this has got to damage kids self-image. Can you imagine the horror of not only being busted doing something bad but then having your mom or dad tell hundreds… or even thousands of people about it? No wonder so many pastor kids grow up hating Jesus. Cough. ***golden rule*** Cough. Cough.

    Thankfully, Stephen rarely does any of these.

    So what do I suggest? I know that these 3 things tend to come up because you need a good illustration. And typically, when I’ve let these types of things sneak in it is because I don’t have time to really research a great illustration. But you know they are “winners” and will go over with the core audience well because it’s personal and the people love you. But, be honest, these three things tend to come out most often when you have little time to prepare.

  • Holiday Break redux

    After a refreshingly long break I head back to the office today. The grind. The gig. Workski. The ole j-o-b. OK, none of those really apply since I enjoy my job quite a bit. It’s also a day when I crank it all back up. I’ve got blog posts to publish, the podcast to push out, Facebook messages to send, emails to reply to, and a lot more.

    So what did I do with my two weeks off?

    – Lots of rest. I think I went to bed early and tried my best to sleep in every day.

    – Plenty of reading. I’m about halfway done with my third novel, The Hour I First Believed. About 175 pages into it I finally got hooked. I’m hoping to get that one done soon.

    – Took a serious look at our money situation. I think it’s always good to start off the New Year with a clear look at what we need to do in that department.

    – Kristen and I worked together a lot. I got a taste of her life as she headed off to work and I stayed home with the kiddos. That was awesome. We built and launched Beyond The Zoo, and yesterday I get a good jump on her blog redesign.

    – We hosted Dave for a week. It was a good visit. We did a lot, we didn’t do a lot.

    – Watched a lot of football and TV. The surprise came a few nights ago when we watched Michael Douglass in King of California.

    That’s really about it! It was nice to slow down. It was awesome to spend so much time with the kids.

    And now, it’s time to get ready for work. Gotta go.

  • Excited about 2009

    As far as years go 2008 has been a crazy one. The year started off with me gasping for air between rounds of Kidstown events and ended with a long time of rest and reflection after moving our family across the country and launching myself in a new direction. To quote Mike Yaconelli, “What a ride!”

    As 2008 takes it’s last spin on the disco ball known as Earth I wanted to record a few of the things I’m excited about for 2009.

    #1 A simpler life continuing. It may sound weird that moving into an urban setting, Kristen taking a job, and both kids now in elementary school is actually simpler for us, but it is. Unlike before, we’re living within our means and building healthy boundaries between our work, play, jobs, and church life.

    #2 To social media and beyond! I’m looking forward to the two-fold reality of getting deeper into the social media scene while at the same time venturing into new things.

    #3 A hobby with my wife. For the first time in our relationship Kristen and I have purposed to do something together. Those who know us know how true it is that we often have had different worlds. Purposing to have the same hobby of Beyond The Zoo is going to bring us closer together.

    #4 Golf. After a 3 year sabbatical from the game I will be resolving to get my game back in shape. I’d love to find a league or a volunteer opportunity to force me to play. How in the world could a lifelong golfer live in San Diego and not play?

    #5 A vacation. No idea where we are headed or what we will do. But the family will definitely require a trip somewhere.

    #6 A new place to live. Our lease is up in February and we’ve already told our landlady we intend to move. That said, we’re starting to look at places in the SDSU area, City Heights, Rolando, Kensington, or somewhere else near our church. We need more space.

    #7 New stuff at Youth Ministry Exchange. Starting soon I will have a weekly column ay YMX. After kicking around a lot of ideas I’ve decided to stick with my passion. It’s going to be a weekly encouragement. Recognizing how little worship and preaching most of us hear as we lead the students… I hope it’s helpful to fill a tiny bit of the void. Plus, YMX’s main site has a brand new look we’re popping out soon.

    #8 Some cool stuff at YS. Now that I’m not “the new guy” anymore it’s fun to be around some of our things from genesis through release. I’m excited about increasing my impact at work in 2009. More importantly, I am still shocked that God has allowed me the ability to impact the lives of youth workers through YS. Gosh, that is too cool.

    #9 Unloading the Michigan homestead. Hard to believe that our house in Romeo has been vacant since the first week of August. We have a buyer and we’re waiting on the banks to do their thing. Originally, we had hoped that we’d be done with the house by the close of 2008. One way or the other, we will be done with the house in 2009.

    #10 Kid Stuff. Megan and Paul have hit the age where childhood hits the afterburner and starts to speed along. Blogging is awesome in that I get to capture little snapshots, literally and figurately, of their lives for posterity sake. Both of their personalities are blossoming and I’m falling deeper and deeper in love with these kids God chose for us.

  • Late December Pictures

  • The Anticipation of Christmas

    A shared experience most of us have is waiting for Christmas morning. Wait? Waiting sucks! Christmas may be the one last great place we all wait for something… in a “now” culture, to have something to wait for is a lesson waiting to be taught.

    I remember that my family wasn’t very consistent with Christmas morning. Some years we woke up at the buttcrack of dawn to tear all of our presents open before collapsing for an 8 AM nap. Other years we woke up and had to stay in our rooms while my dad and stepmom made breakfast and made us eat a big breakfast before opening presents. Pure evil torture! My mom only seems to remember one Christmas in relationship to growing up. Her first year as a single mom… she refers to this Christmas a lot as the tree with one strand of lights. We had nothing. I think it broke her heart to know that we had almost nothing to open. But as a kid it wasn’t a big deal! Even as a young married couple, there was a time when the anticipation of Christmas was too much and our “just one” present on Christmas eve turned into opening everything under the tree. We totally ruined Christmas morning in a moment of guilty tearing! Something tells me, as a newlywed couple, that we’d had enough waiting that year! “Forget waiting… we’re free!”

    But I think having kids finally has helped me understand gift giving as anticipation.

    Two thousand years ago the people of the earth yearned in anticipation for the Messiah. Paul captured this feeling of waiting vs. anticipation quite well in Romans 8:

    We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

    Christmas and gift giving are integrally tied to the anticipation of the moment we discover what we’re receiving. It’s emotional and it’s physical, isn’t it?

    Everyday our kids ask me, “How much more (sic) longer until I get to open my gifts?” and “Tell me what my gifts are!” This is our kids groaning in anticipation of present time!

    The anticipation of Christmas is really a flashback physical experience of the anticipation of 2,000 years ago. The earth groaned for a Messiah… they waited in anticipation. They longed for the Chosen One. The moment of his arrival was precious.

    Silent night, holy night
    All is calm, all is bright
    Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
    Holy Infant so tender and mild
    Sleep in heavenly peace
    Sleep in heavenly peace

    Silent night, holy night!
    Shepherds quake at the sight
    Glories stream from heaven afar
    Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
    Christ, the Saviour is born
    Christ, the Saviour is born

    Silent night, holy night
    Son of God, love’s pure light
    Radiant beams from Thy holy face
    With the dawn of redeeming grace
    Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
    Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

    I love experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a 5 and 7 year old. Each day they wake up and carefully examine the tree and their stockings to see if anything new has appeared. They each count how many gifts have their name on them. Their anticipation is more than mental, it is physical! They literally groan. “Is it here yet?” On Wednesday night they won’t be able to sleep as the anticipation will be too much! On Thursday morning we will torture them by making them lay in bed while we prepare the living room. In those last few moments it will be real, emotional, PHYSICAL anticipation.

    It’s our job as parents to remind them of that moment. That moment is the real meaning of Christmas. God answered the earth physical anticipation and groaning with the Child.

  • Club Pengiun Gives Away $1 million

    I found this really cool. If your kids are like mine, they are hooked on Club Penguin. Now they are asking kids to help them pick out ways to give away $1 million. Check out this post on their blog. (Megan’s 4th favorite blog!)

    Donation booths are set up at the Beach, in the Plaza, and on the Migrator. Remember – every little bit counts, so you don’t have to donate a lot to make a difference.

    On December 25, we’ll announce how you’ve decided that the one million dollars will be split. Check out the Kids Helping Kids page on the website to see how your donations are changing the real world. Let us know any other ideas you have for making the world a better place for everyone! link

  • 5 Best Online Communities for Kids

    If you don’t have young kids, than you probably have no idea that social networking has really taken off for kids. In fact, I’d call these social play sites. Our kids are completely addicted to them. They are safe, fun, and most of them teach values that any parent would like to encourage. Here are the top 5 in no particular order. Our kids say “We like them all the same!”

    #1 Web Kinz (Cost: Stuffed Animal about $15) Chances are if you’ve heard of one site kids are hooked on, this is it. Parents buy a Web Kinz stuffed pet at a boutique store (like Hallmark) and once home parents create an account for that animal. Kids play games and do tasks to earn money. In turn, with the money the kids can buy accessories for their child’s online version of their pet, feed their pet, take him to the doctor, or even send them on vacation! What I love about Web Kinz is that the site is constantly updated with new challenges. I also love that kids learn a bit about the value of money, earning things, and trading. What I don’t like is that the stuffed animals are $15-20 each and the kids always want a new one.

    #2 Club Penguin (Cost: Free and subscription service) This is Disney’s entry into social networking. There are two levels, paid and free. Our kids only use the paid component and seem to like it just fine. Unlike Web Kinz, a child’s character in Club Penguin is decidedly social. Within their virtual world the penguins can go to a series of different rooms. Our kids love taking their penguins to parties! I love that the kids can play against each other on seperate computers. Snow ball fights abound here in San Diego! As a parent, I like that Club Penguin is a bit more narrative based, too. I often will see Megan reading pages of text. And every day I catch her reading the site’s blog!

    #3 HandiPoints (Cost: FREE Some pay upgrades available on Amazon.com) This is a really cool concept. Instead of games competing with parents to get stuff done, HandiPoints is built around the idea that playing games online is a reward. Our kids love to earn points online by doing chores around the house. Parents have their own login area where they set up their child’s task chart. Megan and Paul each have seperate tasks and they can login to their own area to check off their daily tasks and earn points. With the points you can buy stuff like furniture and clothes for your character.

    #4 Moshi Monsters (Cost: 100% FREE) This kicks the cuteness factor way up! Our kids love playing with their monsters. Kids adopt and name a monster they help create. The more they play that game and earn rewards, the more control they get over their characters environment and personality. Mom and dad don’t really get the point of this one, but kids love it.

    #5 Woogi World (Cost: Free and paid subscription) Our kids dig this site and it has a clear goal parents can understand. “Teaching kids internet safety, life values, and fun!” WW is run by a foundation with a specific goal for the site beyond commerce. So you may want to read up on it before letting your kids join. Individual kids can join, but you can also partner with schools so a whole classroom can create accounts to teach kids about safety. It’s a little like all the rest with a decidely educational and parental bend. Our kids like this one… and I can see teachers and homeschool parents endorsing this one as it is clearly the “safest” for kids, even if it isn’t the most fun.

    What do your kids play? What sites are they hooked on? What sites should I have mentioned?

  • Photo post: New Children’s Museum

  • Checking in with Megan and Paul

    School has been in session for a couple weeks now, here’s how they are doing.

    Megan loves her teacher. And who wouldn’t? Her teacher is very cool… even if I can never remember her name. Of course, she is doing great. The first spelling test she got 25 of 25 words correct. (Only one in her class.) She’s your typical first born as she always has to be the best. The school also has some rewards built in that she is hooked on. There are behavior rewards and she has 7… she claims this is more than anyone else in 2nd grade. They have a regular assembly and she is shooting to have her name called. They also have a physical fitness reward. For every 20 laps you run before school starts you get a necklace. She got her first one yesterday. We’ve not heard about her having any good friends yet, so we keep praying for that. Yet she is like her mom/dad, not the easiest person to let her guard down enough to get close to.

    Paul is also loving his teacher, Mrs. Cohen. Each day Paul tells me all about his day. What he did, what he learned, what was for lunch, and what he did at each of his 3 recesses. (All day kindergarten) Paul is learning all about letters and math and other cool things. His teacher has picked up on his baby talk, so we think Paul’s going to get hooked up with a little speach therepy. (Got the eval coming, trying not to freak out about the “special ed label” to that.) Paul’s a lot like me in kindergarten… it’s all heavenly. Last night before bed Paul asked what day today was. When we told him it would be Wednesday in the morning and he had a full day of school he raised his hands above his head and ran off to bed, “I can’t wait!” I will remind him of that moment in 12 years.

    Kristen and I really like Darnall. First of all, it’s in our neighborhood and we’re all about getting to know people in the neighborhood. Second, it’s a charter school. I’m digging that we’re not deeply involved in the corruption and crappy politics of Romeo. And the uniform thing… it’s so not a big deal to them now that school started.

    Long story short, the kids are settling in and the learning has begun for this year. Praise God for a smooth transition.

  • We’ve landed

    Yesterday Megan and I made it to San Diego with about an hour to spare. Our plan worked out perfectly! We were able to drop off all the stuff from the car at the new house just in time to head to the airport and pick up Kristen, Paul, and Lovely as they arrived from Detroit. From there we headed back to the house to do a little “nesting” and get everyone settled. Everyone is having a good time exploring their new surroundings.

    Personally, my surprise joy came when I went grocery shopping. It may sound like something silly to get excited about… but it was a blast! Since there are so many ethnicities in our community the grocery store is packed with new flavors and things to try. I think I came home with 20 different juices that we’ve either never had or have not had access to in a long time.

    The truck gets delivered later this afternoon. So we’ll have the weekend to unpack the truck and start getting organized. Yup, it feels really real now.

    One cool thing that happened yesterday is that we started meeting our neighbors. Although the house is a lot smaller I can tell we are going to like living here a lot.

    video update: It’s going to take me a few days to get all the videos online. We took so much video… getting days 4 & 5 of Travels With Stoney done is just going to take me a little bit. Plus, I’ve got a massive backlog of work!