It’s Sunday morning. Not early and not late. I’ve fed the chickens and opened up the doors to let the cool air in. The house is still quiet. I’ve just made coffee for Kristen and I. And I just sent Murray out to do his one really cool dog trick, bringing in the Sunday paper in exchange for a treat.
(more…)Tag: rest
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Dealing with Fatigue
I’m still recovering from two months of travel. I came back from my last trip very worn out and fighting a chest cold that just won’t let go.The past couple of weeks… I’ve just been tired. Normally, a day off will do for recovery. But this has been different. Each day I get up and mash the gas peddle of what I want to do… and there’s simply no vroom there.
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A breath mark
A breath mark or luftpause or, for bowed instruments, a bow lift (also retake), is a symbol used in musical notation. It directs the performer of the music passage to take a breath (for wind instruments and vocalists) or to make a slight pause (for non-wind instruments). For bowed instruments, it means to lift the bow. This pause is normally intended to affect the duration of the preceding note and not the tempo. It is usually placed above the staff and at the ends of phrases. Its function is analogous to the comma in several written languages. Indeed, the two symbols look identical.
~ via Wikipedia
Friends, we have come to a luftpause.
This morning, Kristen and I are putting the last few items in the car, packing the cooler full of ice, and driving up to Yosemite National Park.
It’s not a vacation unless daddy unplugs, signs out, and leaves his laptop at home. No tweets, no Facebook, no Flickr, no YouTube… and I already don’t LinkedIn or Google+.
I’m doing all of things. I need it. We need it. Heck, you need it.
Until next week, adieu.
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Who feeds you?
On a Sabbath, while he was going through the grain fields, his disciples plucked and ate some heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands. But some of the Pharisees said, “Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?” And Jesus answered them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those with him?” And he said to them, “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.” Luke 6:1-5
Mishnah
Photo by Martin LaBar via Flickr (Creative Commons) This is one of those passages that I’ve glossed over for years. But recently, I’ve been drawn to its intricacies which unlocked the bigger picture.
First and foremost, the complaint never made sense to me until I started reading Mishnah. Various rabbis passed down various interpretations and instructions on Sabbath regulations. While the written Old Testament gave general directions for obeying the Law, mishnah was the oral tradition that defined the boundaries. And depending on your rabbi and who trained them, the oral tradition told you how many steps you could take on the Sabbath and not be “work.” Or how to cook in a way that wasn’t work for the cook or work for the animals who provided sustenance. As referred to in the passage, there were disagreements about pulling an Ox out of a hole to save its life. Was it OK to do that on the Sabbath or should we wait? Was it OK to save a life on the Sabbath? Or was it OK to just save its life but not try to help it once you’ve gotten it out of the hole? Various rabbis had various opinions that were passed down through the mishnah.
While all agreed that the Law required that farmers left a few rows of grain unharvested along the road for the poor/traveling to glean, there was disagreement as to whether it was lawful for the poor/travelers to glean on the Sabbath. So when Jesus replies back to the Pharisee referring to Old Testament passages, the Pharisees are really trying to figure out which oral tradition gave him permission to glean on the Sabbath.
He frustrates them by offering a remixed version. He didn’t respond from the perspective of a certain rabbi. Nor did he respond by quoting the Law of Moses. Instead, he asked a question that reframed the inquiry altogether.
Even if you obey the Sabbath— who is the Lord of the Sabbath? And ultimately– who feeds you from his gleanings, the farmer or the Father?
Physical food
Who feeds me physically? Our food chain is so messed up that I don’t think we can even comprehend this question. In my fridge right now are fruits/veggies grown on a farm about 30 miles from me. But there is also milk which came from another farm in California. And that cheese? It came from yet another farm in California. Juice? Well, some of the fruit came from Australia (I think) and the rest came from a chemical plant in Ohio.
The sad reality is that we are so far removed from our sources of food that this passage is completely foreign to us. We don’t have a clue where our food comes from! Our best guess is that we kind of know the grocery companies that we purchased food from. And we certainly don’t go and glean from farmers fields when we are out of cash or on the road. They’d shoot us!
Ultimately, God provides the food. As messed up and distorted as our food chain is, God is the ultimate source of food. While I don’t think He is the author of high-fructose-corn-syrup, grain filler, and the other GMO crap most of our food is laced with, He is the ultimate provider of both the food that we eat and the money we use to buy it. It all comes from Him.
Emotional food
If we zoom out the lens just a little bit we can ask a deeper question. Are you free to eat emotionally on the Sabbath? Are you slowing down enough to listen? Not just to the preacher or the Sunday school teacher or to other people in your small group. But are you slowing down enough on the Sabbath to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit in your life? Is He feeding you words of instruction, comfort, and rebuke? Or are you drowning the Spirit out by turning the volume up too loud with the human voices in your life?
Are you slowing down enough on the Sabbath to listen to your own voice? Are you taking time to process the stuff that is happening? Are you taking time to rest your body? Are you taking time to rest your mind by doing recreational stuff?
That’s emotional food. The passage evokes a visual of Jesus and his disciples walking along the road, probably quietly as they observe the Sabbath, and the group of them spreading out and gleaning the grain. Each of them plucking heads of grain and grinding away the chaff between their fingers or with their palm before popping the uncooked grain into their mouth. This isn’t tossing a bag of popcorn in the microwave! This took time. And it was likely full of introspection and listening.
Who feeds you during quiet times of self-reflection? Who speaks to you and gives you emotional food to prepare for the week ahead?
Spiritual food
Finally, we zoom the lens on this passage out as far as it goes. With our wide angle lens Jesus asks the question, “Ultimately, who is the Lord of the Sabbath? Who is in charge of the Harvest?”
Jesus is our ultimate source of nutrition. He is the Provider. He gives us life. He made the sun which warms the soil and provides the energy for photosynthesis.
Spiritually, Jesus is the source of life on the Sabbath. Rather than leaning on the interpretations of man alone… modern day mishnah… Jesus is eternal, alive today, and active among His people bringing nutrition to the poor and sojourners among us willing to glean along the roadside.
Clearly and obviously, Jesus wants us to gather with fellow believers to corporately worship Him on the Sabbath. But he doesn’t want us to get lost in the granular act of going to church for spiritual food. That’s a supermarket approach when Jesus gave us the example of finding food where we are on the Sabbath. He reminds us again and again, “I am the Lord of the Sabbath. It belongs to me. It’s ultimately about me. You want to rest, it’s found in me. You want to eat, I am the bread of life.”
Who are the farmers in your life? Are they leaving a little on the side for you to feed from?
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Just Make it to Harbor
Imagine how good this guy felt when he got the boat into harbor?
What a metaphor for life!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like this.
Life is ugly sometimes.
And just pulling into safe harbor is exhilarating.
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Ministers Need Friends
Photo by LabyrinthX via Flickr This may come as a shock to people who go to church– but being a church leader is a very lonely job. Sure, if you work in a church with a large staff it probably isn’t that lonely since you have co-workers who can become friends. But by-and-large, friends are hard to come by for ministers.
Loneliness is a major issue for church staff.
Reasons
- It’s hard to be friends with parishioners. Kristen and I have been fortunate in this regard, but by-and-large it is really hard to truly be friends with people in your church. You can be acquaintances, but you’ll never get to the point where you can go out for a laugh (or a beer) and lament about work sucking. (or just share “real life.” You have to be guarded.)
- It’s hard to find people wired like you. Even in large cities, there aren’t many people wired quite like a pastor.
- It’s hard to be friends since work hours are weird. I’ve not met a person who worked in a church who kept 9-5 type hours. It’s always that plus a bunch of nights out… randomly scattered. Makes it tough to be friends.
- It’s hard to have a life outside of the four walls of a church. The reason so much is said and written about balance and rest for church workers is that they suck at balance and resting! The job is just too demanding.
Solutions
- Understand that this isn’t optional. For your long-term health as a minister in the community, you require friendships. (Not church acquaintances) You require true friendship outside of the church, in your local community.
- Seek permission from your supervisors. This sounds like a silly step, but you may need to hear “get a life” from your boss or board to make this a reality. If they’ve been a leader in the church for a while they will know that if you have good friendships locally you are more likely to stay in the community a lot longer. But if you are lonely, you will be a poor leader and in your boredom you’ll start looking for a job elsewhere.
- You aren’t in ____, so get over it. I know you are probably from somewhere you liked better. And you have friends who are in those places. That’s not helping you. Get over it and get to know some people in your community. God planted you where you are, He is smarter than you are, you need to suck it up and make friends.
- Do something outside the church. How did I make friends when I was in full-time church ministry? I volunteered to coach the golf team, I joined a golf league, a started participating in local politics. I wasn’t looking for 1,000 friends, just a few people who didn’t go to my church that I could be “just Adam” with and not “Pastor Adam.”
- Meet up with your long-time best friends once per year. Meet up at a conference, go away hunting, go on vacation together, go visit them for the Holidays… just do something where for a few days you can be with your long-time friends.
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Find Rest, Oh My Soul
My sleep patterns have been seriously jacked up since coming back from Cincinnati. Last night I was up super late– 7:15 PM. Yesterday, while in church listening to Stephen preach one of his best messages ever, an emotion came over me. I realized something and it sent chills down my spine. It’s not just me that is struggling to find rest right now. It’s everyone I know.
We are all off-kilter on rest. Even when some of us rest, we are still working or thinking about work or dreaming up things that result in work. Even in our rest, we are chasing after kids. On and on. In our rest, we are not really resting at all.
That’s why this week I am praying this Psalm as a prayer for myself, my family, and my friends. I pray that we find rest:
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.My salvation and my honor depend on God ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
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Warp Speed!
That’s how I feel about the next 90 days. This week starts the first of three National Youth Worker Conventions. For me, it’s a huge honor to be able to go to the three U.S. conventions and to play such a cool role. On site I am in charge of capturing the story of the convention for our internet audience, snapping a couple thousand pictures, filling a years worth of blog content, co-leading a seminar on social media and video, plus a whole littany of other normal stuff the whole staff does on site.
What this really means is that this is my busy season. Between now and the end of the year I’ll be gone about a week a month for work. Of course, while I’m gone doesn’t mean that regular work doesn’t get done, it just backlogs. And I stil need to use a weeks vacation in there. So the pattern is go away for about a week. Rest HARD on the travel day. Push through as much work as possible. Rest HARD some more. Get everything together to go back on the road. Repeat.
The point of this post isn’t to lament about the next 3 months of my life. Not at all. Trust me, I consider this insanity to be a blessing. I am thankful to God for the opportunity. The point of this post is to think about the question, “How do you find sanity when your life hits warp speed?”
Here’s how I do it. I’d love to hear how others go through similar times.
1. Embrace some insanity. This might be super unhealthy, but when I’m on site at a convention, I focus on what needs to be done. If these trips were a sport I want to make sure I leave it all on the field.With thousands of attendees coming I want to do whatever I can to make their experience awesome.
2. Schedule rest when on the road. The attitude of #1 above will kill you if you aren’t disciplined. Last year, I was so wide-eyed about the whole thing that I barely slept, said yes to everything, and allowed my schedule to get out of control. This year I’ve blocked out times for meals, rest, and “me time.” I’m an introvert– this is for my sanity and everyone else’s safety.
3. Schedule rest when at home. I’ve gotten better about not working on weekends, I need to keep that pattern going through this busy time. I also need to look at holes in my schedule and stay home to work a bit during the week, leave early when possible, stuff like that.
4. Do fun stuff with the kids. My travel stuff is hard on the kids. Sure, they don’t express it. But I can tell when I come back that it hasn’t been easy without me. I’m cooking up some evil plans to spend time with them.
5. Accept that some stuff won’t get done on time. As much as it drives me insane to know that I need to do that, I just need to decide which things get done on time and which things are less important and get pushed off until later.
6. Take notes. My mind swells with ideas/thoughts/reflections during these times. This year, I’m going to capture so much more with Evernote on my iPhone.
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Signs of Health
I’ve been open about my struggles to find a healthy work pace. I’m not sure why but I have an innate tendency to want to be plugged into work 24/7. This isn’t new… I’ve been this way since high school. I remember stopping in on the little restaurant I worked at on my nights off just to see how things were going. That habit has pretty much continued up through today! I always want to know how things are going.Full time ministry just made it worse. After all, checking email or making a phone call to a student on your day off is ministry and how can that be bad? Jesus wouldn’t want them to have to wait… would he? With all due respect, the staff at the church just loved the fact that Adam was always available, always game, always willing to answer the call. My work in churches took some horrible tendencies and labeled them as reliable.
When I started at YS a year ago I dealt with a bit of culture shock. I would send e-mails on Friday night that wouldn’t get read until Monday. I would stay late and have co-workers tell me to go home. I’d respond to emails at 10 or 11 PM and get made fun of. It was actually frustrating at first. It took me some time to recognize that I wasn’t seeing a lack of dedication… I was encountering healthy work habits.
It’s taken me a long time to begin to break some of these habits. It’s taken this long to wake up to the reality that it was me who needed to change my habits. In the past few months I’ve thought a ton about the idea of sustainability and pace. Reality is that I have a natural tendency to want to increase the pace at the cost of my personal health and the relationships with my family. The pace at which I desire to work simply isn’t sustainable. In the past few months I’ve constantly been telling myself, “Slow down.”
The last two weekends have been great signs of health.
– Never checked work email.
– No responding to Facebook messages that were work related.
– Didn’t check up on all of the websites, stats, numbers… OK, I did that once or twice. (Dangit!)
– Spent excessive amounts of time with family and friends.
– Said “no” to things that were outside of my goals/responsibilities right now.
– Was not the first one to arrive nor the last one to leave the office at all last week.
I still have a long, long way to go in establishing healthy and sustainable habits. But these are signs of health. It’s like after you start working out… it takes a few weeks until you start to feel the difference. And I hope the people in my life who are most important are starting to feel the difference.
What about you? What are some boundaries you have established that help you have a sustainable work pace?
