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Where are all the Christian Single Men? Part 2

real menI’m still thinking about this. And typically I don’t carry on like this. But there were so many good comments that, in my mind, this deserved a follow up post rather than endless comments.

Dave Tucker (that’s my father-in-law everyone else) brings up an interesting wrinkle to this. Technically, in the US there are more baby boys born than girls… slightly. I wonder if it is safe to assume that slightly more boys die in childhood and adolescence since boys like to jump off things and work on more farms and stuff. But, by and large, roughly the same amount of boys and girls make it to an age where they should be looking for a spouse.

That still leaves a mighty problem though.
I’ve got 20-30 single women in my life who are looking for a Christian man. Preferably, one with a job, doesn’t live with mommy, showers more than once per week, and is more interested in holding onto them than an XBox 360 controller.

Dave Luke brought up a good idea, maybe these women should expatriate for their 20’s to meet a nice NorIrish boy. Since most women I know love an Irish accent this isn’t a bad idea. And all that stuff about Irish men being drunkards, violent to their spouses, and a few other stereotypes is just plain untrue.
(At least in the Christian community in Northern Ireland.) The problem with that idea is that it’s pretty difficult to get a visa into the United Kingdom with “looking for a man” as the reason for moving over there. Plus, the standard of living over there is so high they’d have to get married there and then immediately move to Michigan where it is cheap enough to live. (And we know NorIrish can’t say “Michigan.”

So, single women in my life looking for a nice Christian man to date and maybe one day enjoy Song of Solomon benefits… I have 3 bits of sage advice for you.

se-xbox shirtSage advice #1 Think about wearing game controllers. Either wear it as an accessory, or keep one in your purse. Occasionally taking it out, making eye contact with a cute Christian man, and hiding it again will send the message. Thanks to Sara for this advice. Get your se-xbox gear here.

Sage advice #2 Go to Bible college, Christian college, or anywhere else that harbors young men in an environment where video games aren’t allowed. This way you have them trapped. They will naturally follow their God-designed ways to seek after you when these “pseudo-women” have been removed. If college is too long or expensive, get a job at a Christian camp. They lock away men there too with no video games. But don’t get confused, while prisons do have men locked away without video games those men typically aren’t eligible for parole for a while.

Sage advice #3 Be Blunt. Let’s face it, most men are not that bright when it comes to figuring out woman-folk. In fact, that may be why guys like video games so much… they can figure it out. And if they can’t… they have the ability to make it stop until they have the energy to try again. So if you find a “humanous male-ocous Christiani” just let him know… pay attention to me, love me, treat me right, and I’ll be better than your best friend forever.

Christian Women Aren’t to Blame for the Shortage!

I just thought I’d put that out there as something obvious. It’s not that the Christian women in my life caused this problem. And I don’t think it’s a cultural thing we should just get used to. I think, as Adam R mentioned in his comment… guys need to be taught how to be men. And that means that the men in my life (including myself) need to make sure we continue to mentor young men past high school and into college. We need to force them to grow up. We need to help their parents see that babying them hurts everyone. We need to tell their moms that their boys aren’t their husbands… that their role is to raise a man, not substitute a husband. (This is a large problem, in my opinion.) We need to teach dads that their role is to raise a man, not get them into college so they can act like a boy 4 more years.

And we need to remind men over and over again that they will be irresistible to women when they take care of themselves, fall madly in love with Jesus, live on their own, make their own money, and treat women with respect.

On second thought, it’s just easier to move to Northern Ireland.