Preamble
My buddy Marko is in the hospital with a bout of pancreatitis. He wasn’t feeling well when we went to the Padres game on Tuesday night and was admitted to the hospital Wednesday.
I tried to convince him that the only possible cure would be eating hotdogs, handfuls of peanuts, and drinking over-priced beer. But he wouldn’t take my sound medical advice. He drank water. And look who is in the hospital now?
Dedication: To Marko’s pancreas. May you be less irritated and inflamed in the days to come. I hope for you that you will soon be happily hugged by your friends the gall bladder and small intestine.
An Ode to the Pancreas, the most phallic of internal organs
The Pancreas – A Limerick
Seeing your tail makes me giggle
I can imagine that sometimes you wiggle
To know when inflamed you must be even more round
With giant scopes and crazy cameras, perhaps a lost quarter is found?
But mostly your picture makes me giggle
The Pancreas – A Haiku
O sad pancreas
Only rhyme with couple things
Like pain in the ***
The Pancreas – A short sonnet
Let me not delay this decree
Admit impediment, impurities I oft partake
Thou pancreas please, in thou’st head whilst thou forgive me
All of thine yummy treats, I shall now forever forsake
O, no I promise I shall never re-embark
To mock you, my beloved pancreas, for thine striking shape
For thou doth look as male genitalia– I’m forced to remark
Proudly serving other organs, you deserve to wear a cape
The pancreatic juice, while gross, I require
Thine juices flow from duct to duct to Duodenum
Without you in my life I may expire
For these juices are needed, and more than cool denim
To thine own bile I will be true
To thine own bile I will be true