An Ode to the Pancreas


My buddy Marko is in the hospital with a bout of pancreatitis. He wasn’t feeling well when we went to the Padres game on Tuesday night and was admitted to the hospital Wednesday.

I tried to convince him that the only possible cure would be eating hotdogs, handfuls of peanuts, and drinking over-priced beer. But he wouldn’t take my sound medical advice. He drank water. And look who is in the hospital now?

Dedication: To Marko’s pancreas. May you be less irritated and inflamed in the days to come. I hope for you that you will soon be happily hugged by your friends the gall bladder and small intestine.

An Ode to the Pancreas, the most phallic of internal organs

The Pancreas – A Limerick

Seeing your tail makes me giggle

I can imagine that sometimes you wiggle

To know when inflamed you must be even more round

With giant scopes and crazy cameras, perhaps a lost quarter is found?

But mostly your picture makes me giggle

The Pancreas – A Haiku

 O sad pancreas

Only rhyme with couple things

Like pain in the ***

The Pancreas – A short sonnet

 Let me not delay this decree

Admit impediment, impurities I oft partake

Thou pancreas please, in thou’st head whilst thou forgive me

All of thine yummy treats, I shall now forever forsake

O, no I promise I shall never re-embark

To mock you, my beloved pancreas, for thine striking shape

For thou doth look as male genitalia– I’m forced to remark

Proudly serving other organs, you deserve to wear a cape

The pancreatic juice, while gross, I require

Thine juices flow from duct to duct to Duodenum

Without you in my life I may expire

For these juices are needed, and more than cool denim

To thine own bile I will be true

To thine own bile I will be true





6 responses to “An Ode to the Pancreas”

  1. Kim Avatar

    You are hysterical! Lol

  2. Eli Ruggles Avatar

    This is poetry I can get behind as I drink my coffee and catch up this morning!

  3. Marko Avatar

    I’m laughing out loud.
    Thanks morphine and dilotid.
    Thanks funny Adam.

    (haiku response)

  4. Julie Herick Avatar
    Julie Herick

    Also, this makes me think of a Weird Al Yankovic song:

    1. adam mclane Avatar

      @Julie- totally brilliant. Weird Al has it all!

  5. Tara Avatar

    LOL! I hope Marko has a quick recovery!!!! My mom has been hospitalized for two months with severe acute pancreatitis and doctors are saying it will be several months more before she is better.

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