[note: this is my talk for Sunday am church this week. While this is the original script, this is no where near what the final version will be. Please look at this as a draft for writing purposes.]
A bad case of Me-itis
“Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves.” (James 4:1-2, The Message)
James takes out his hammer and hits it right on the head, doesn’t he?
There is a notion in our brains that everything we do is really about us. Since we were infants we’ve learned to identify everything we see and hear to ourselves and how that relates to our agenda. “What do I want?” “What’s in it for me” “How can you help me?” Think about it. We live in a very selfish, me first society that gives you full liberty and even encouragement to do whatever you think is right. It’s everywhere to the music we hum along with in the car to the commercials we watch on television. “Don’t you want to look like this?” “Don’t you deserve this kind of car?” “Are you ready for the washing machine that gives you more time?” It’s so prevalent, even in the church, that we don’t recognize it for what it is… selfishness. But James, under the guidance and inspiration of the Holy Spirit says to us… believers in Jesus Christ, “You think it’s all about you? Think again.”
I’d like for you to take a moment to envision a conflict that you’ve been in recently. (Close eyes and relive it)
Think back to yourself. Was this a conflict that was about something really important or was it a case like James was talking about? Did you just want to be right? Sadly all of us, at one point or another have suffered from a bad case of Me-itis. Me-itis is a disease that chokes you spiritually. It is a sin that causes us to forget that we are not God. We give ourselves to Me-itis because we want to call the shots. We want to be important. We want to see our value and we want to be right. The disease convinces us that the earth’s access and rotation completely depends on what we want. It is a disease that eats you alive from the inside out. It will suck away pleasure and joy in your walk with the Lord and leave you lying on the side of the road… near death.
Of course, it won’t be too long before a person who wears the slogan “It’s all about me” on their sleeve bumps into another person who feels the same way. These are the conflicts James writes about. It’s quarrels and wars.
A look at conflicts
I will tell you straight up that I am not the best person to talk about selfishness and conflicts. As my mom reminds me all the time, there was a time when I was affectionately referred to as “Adamant Adam.” Now that I think of it, maybe I’m the perfect person to talk about this since I will readily admit that I have a lot to learn. So, just to illustrate a case of Me-itis in the every day world… let’s use conflict or arguing as an example.
The problem: A conflict arises! Both parties fight to win. (Christians argue so politely don’t they?)
The result: Relationships are damaged. Feelings are hurt.
Fake solution for temporary resolution: Blame on circumstance or others. It’s not my fault! It’s got to be….
Real solution for permanent resolution: Put the interest of others ahead of your own.
Overcoming selfishness
For those of you that are here and aren’t too sure that what I am saying is true or possible I have some reassuring news for you. There is a way that you can overcome selfishness. I guarantee it.
My proposition to you today is this: You can overcome selfishness by putting others first.
Let’s take a look at Philippians 2. Paul wrote this letter to the church in Philippi about 30 years after Jesus’ resurrection. This is one of the few times that Paul wrote a letter, not really to correct a problem, and really not even to respond to specific questions that the church had… instead Paul essentially wrote the letter as a thank you gift for a generous gift. Paul had 3 main purposes for the letter:
To thank them for their gift
To instruct them to unity
To encourage joyfulness in the Christian life
So in turning to Philippians 2:3 we see Paul begin to instruct the church family on how to live together is way pleasing to God. Read along with me as I read:
“3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:”
Principles for living an others first lifestyle
These verses challenge us with 4 overlapping commands. A careful look at each of them reveals both the root cause of the “ME FIRST” orientation as well as some help for overcoming them.
Don’t allow ambition or conceit to drive your decision.
What is vain conceit?
i. It’s the false belief that you are so special and so unique that you deserve special treatment.
What is selfish ambition?
i. It’s simply going for something that’s only going to benefit you. Putting the needs and desires of everyone else in jeopardy so that you can get what you want.
Paul says, don’t let those things drive your decisions. A couple of years ago I was sitting in a board room with a bunch of other mid-level supervisors listening to the company trainer give us the company lines about how we should implement this new program of cutting back on overtime. After about 2 hours of mind-numbing PowerPoint presentations the trainer put up a slide that said “WIFM?” I think of the 30-40 people in the room I was the only person who was paying attention and trying to take notes. Then the trainer said “So, I’ve just explained to you why we need to do this as a company. Now let me introduce you to a new motivational tool we’re trying. It’s called What’s In It For Me? That’s right, we know that none of you want to go back to your departments and start implementing this new policy. We know your employees are going to complain because you are hitting them with a reduction in overtime. So we’ve decided to give you a little incentive. For every 10% of overtime you cut from your group, we’ll give you a 2% raise.” Let me tell you, every eye was on this trainer and everyone was taking notes. Why? Because this woman had tapped into everyone’s selfish ambition!
Treat others as more important than yourself.
Imagine that you’ve just gotten word that your favorite musician or the president or a famous actor or some sports hero were coming to your house for dinner. Paul is saying that we should treat everyone the way we would treat that kind of a special guest.
Note that the passage didn’t say “they are more important than yourself’ instead it says treat others as if they were better than you.
Parents, I want you to understand that this passage is not superceding other passages about your role as a parent. The children that God has given you are supposed to be subservient to you. I see so many families that are ruining this principle because they are treating their kids as little gods. They are literally worshipping at the altar of their kids. You are not doing them any favors by allowing them to dictate your lives with their self-interests. Be careful to not model selfishness by placating their every want and desire.
Look out for the interest of others
Simply put, don’t be consumed by your own self-interests
Take an interest in the things that interest others.
i. Example of Jessica Potes hunting with Jon
Follow Christ’s example of humility
Paul reminds us that Jesus gave up so much in order to make himself nothing… for us!
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that a person has to be worthy enough for you to put them before you.
i. If you saw how that person treated me…
ii. My dad never had time for me as a kid, why should I…
iii. Nobody seems to care about my feelings, why should I care for theirs?
iv. They don’t respect me, so why should I do…
Paul anticipated this instinct in each of us and supports his teaching by pointing to the supreme example of selflessness.
Paul challenges us to be like Christ
i. How did Jesus treat others?
– He constantly treated others as more important than himself
– He consistently served people
– He never allowed rejection or hatred to dilute His love for them
– Think about it, the Creator subjected Himself to His own creation.
It’s Has to Be Supernatural
We looked at these commands and if you are like me you are saying… “Great Paul, I like it… but how do I actually do it?”
So let me take some time now to help you take these timeless principles from God’s word and put them directly into your lives.
First of all, you have to know and acknowledge that you are powerless. What do I mean by that? We are, by very nature as humans, selfish and conceited. How do I know that? If I were to create a machine that could create a recording of the “self talk” that goes on inside each of us… we would all be completely humiliated. On the outside we may look perfectly normal, friendly, outgoing, well meaning, yet on the inside we have a natural tendency to sit there and think only of ourselves. We have to admit to ourselves that we are completely self-absorbed.
Have you ever read a blog? If you’ve ever had a doubt that everyone is as self-consumed and selfish as you are… spend an hour reading people’s journals at a blog website. If you do it, get prepared to be depressed and see tons of stories from only one side on an argument!
So, if we’re going to overcome selfishness, we need to ask God for help!
Next, remember that we are selfish by training, repetition, practice and years of positive reinforcement. Again, to overcome this we are going to have to ask for Supernatural power.
We are going to have to ask the Lord for a servant’s attitude and constantly pointing ourselves back to Jesus as our example. Let his priorities become your priorities.
So let me leave you with some challenges for beginning an others first lifestyle.
– Is your schedule more important than serving others?
– Is your position among co-workers/peers more valuable than serving others?
– Is your pride/ego keeping you from stooping to serve?
The Bible says that Jesus “made himself nothing” are you willing to make yourself nothing?
– By nothing, we don’t mean worthless
– To the contrary- your worth stops being about you and your gain and starts being “my life’s worth is in others.”
– Living your life as a servant to others means that you become something in God’s eyes by humbly considering the needs of others. As a famous youth speaker likes to say, “God’s name is I AM and you’re name is I AM NOT.”
Light Force Plug
In our youth group we’ve set off down the path of loving God and loving others. These are our priorities.
The difference between those being our priorities and these being priorities that drive us is that we are taking the time to say “How can we love God? How can we love people?”
The answer to those questions is terribly tough, isn’t it. You see, in order to love others we must serve them. How can we treat them as guests in a way to make them feel welcomed and loved? How can we love God in a way that is outside of ourselves and not about us? You see, the same truth that is true for you if you are in 7-12 grade is true for you no matter what age you are. God clearly instructs his people that our value in His eyes comes from the value we put into others.
Closing ceremony
As we prepare to close… I’d like each of you to take a few moments… in the quietness of the moment… I’d like for you to write down a specific person you feel led to apply these principles with. Maybe as I’ve been speaking the Spirit’s been leading you to think of this one person over and over again. I’d like you to write that name down now… no one else will know who it is. It’ll be between you and God. Maybe it’s an attitude you need to change about something. Write it down like this:
“Dear God, I want to obey your word and imitate Jesus by putting others first. Help me to serve _____ by ______. Amen”
In the next few minutes… as you finish with that… if you are serious about this commitment, please come forward and put it here on the altar. No one will ever know. What you put there as a promise stays between you and the Lord.
Deacons come forward. They will be here to pray for your needs…
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