the back wall

I picked this up off the Youth Specialties Forums today. I thought it was worth passing along.

I’ve been on the back wall. In fact I spent over a year there. The back wall is a dark and lonely place. It’s a place that you really don’t know how to get away from…but you know it’s not where you’re supposed to be.I started out working with the youth in my church much like everyone else does. I thought I could help out. I thought I could make a difference. I thought it would be pretty easy. I thought I would jump in the first day…the kids would all like me and it would be a magical experience for all of us. What I thought and what really happened were worlds apart. The first time I went into our Wed. night youth program I found myself surrounded by kids but I was standing there by myself…completely out of place. I found myself being drawn to the safety of the back wall. I thought to myself, that was just the first night…it will get better. That first year I went to almost every Wed. night and it never got better. I stood on the back wall wondering what I was doing there. It wasn’t that the kids disliked me…they just didn’t even know I was there. I would see other adult workers talking with the kids and having fun with the kids and I would wonder how they got there? How did they get off the wall? About half way through my second year I was at a turning point. I was either going to get out or I was going to get off that wall. This is when Satan stepped in…he wanted me to quit. He started whispering in my ear…you don’t know how to talk to those kids…they don’t want you around…your too old…you need to get out now before you get hurt.God knew I needed some help. He sent an angel to put me back on track. One night I was at the church and out of nowhere one of the Sophomore girls from youth group comes up behind me…pinches the back of my arm (really hard)…and runs away laughing. She was the first one to give me a chance. It was that one connection that changed my heart…changed my life. I got off the back wall and I started out by just talking to the kids. It’s kind of uncomfortable at first but you have to be where they are…doing what they’re doing. The more you are around them the more natural it becomes. I won’t lie and tell you that it was all easy after that. It takes time with them…and being honest with them…and loving them. I found out that I do know how to talk to youth…they do want me around…I’m not too old…and I can make a difference. I realize now that the difference I can make is for eternity. As for the back wall…it doesn’t hold any comfort for me anymore. I love being with the kids too much to ever go back.