I don’t like to complain about my job. But I need to blow off some steam about things that drive me nuts.
My job never ends I seem to be working or available 24 hours a day. Ministry is all about relationships, but there are times when I just want to be alone or not bothered or even just sip a cold something without wondering “is someone looking at me?” Instead I get calls all the time, people stop in my office, people call my house, people want to go do something… at the same time I both love it and hate it. I love it because I love these people, they are my family. I hate it because every single thing I do seems like work. I am always thinking about ministry all the time… Well, there are some private moments. 🙂
I am Mr. Fix it Besides being a pastor, a lot of people know I know a thing or two about a thing or two. They feel free to call me and ask me to do stuff… Which I like to do. But there are times when I don’t want to but feel obligated to because “what will they think of me if I don’t stop what I am doing and help them.” There is pressure in being an authority. It’s one thing to help someone… But it’s also another thing for people to expect me to help them as if it is my job and then not compensate me. That may sound selfish… But if I got paid $25 every time I fixed a PC or did some research for someone or helped them with their website… I could have a lot more kickin around money!
I have no life outside of the church. This pressure is especially heavy now that I can’t play golf. For about 8 months of the year there is a place for me to go that is the opposite of Cheers, where “nobody knows your name.” I can go tag along with people and play 18 holes or I can disappear down a fairway to be by myself. In the off-season all of the just builds up. No wonder I can hit the ball so far?
Everything is ministry to some degree. Some say “being a parent is a ministry.” But also, hiring a babysitter is a ministry. The way I drive my church van is a ministry. How I act when I am at places is a ministry. There is no separation. I have no respite.
Perhaps this is just an indication that I need a few days away? Praise God I have grad school next week where I can stop being PA and start being a stupid grad student rushing to class. I love the anonymity of being at Huntington. No one knows me and that is the best part!
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