Adam McLane

Very, very small

So yesterday I went to this "big meeting" down in Livonia for youth workers. Why is it that I always feel so dwarfed by the egos of youth pastors? Even though rule #1 of the meeting was that we weren’t allowed to talk about "numbers" or size of churches, it was still very clear who the "haves" and who the "have nots" are. It is abundantly clear that being here in Romeo still has me firmly labeled as "have not" in the Detroit area.

I suppose this is a good time to remind myself that I know who I am and my self worth is not determined by what my peers think or don’t think of me. And another thing… while I will shamelessly plug the name of who I stand for, I absolutely refuse to plug my own name and to stand up and proclaim how great I am. Adam McLane is now and will always be nothing in comparison to the great name whom I serve.

I’m not saying that I won’t go back to another meeting like this. I am just saying that I left feeling really quite small and did not feel "more connected" or "encouraged" or "better resourced."

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Adam McLane

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6 responses to “Very, very small”

  1. Ryan Nielsen Avatar
    Ryan Nielsen

    Adam,

    So sorry to hear about that experience. Unfortunately this happens more often than it should. Thanks for the reminder though of who it is we serve and whose name we are to be proclaiming so loud and proud – and THAT is what matters most!!!

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  2. Todd Porter Avatar
    Todd Porter

    i hate meetings like that also. but that is a good reminder!

    Reply
  3. PJerrod Avatar
    PJerrod

    I know what you mean Adam. Most meetings I’ve been to for youth ministers, regardless of what they were for, feel this way. Sometimes I wonder if the feeling of smallness is truly projected on us by others or do we conjure it up ourselves inspite of knowing who we are and all that.

    Reply
  4. Jason Raitz Avatar
    Jason Raitz

    Huh, I am glad I checked out your blog. By the way, it was great talking to you today. You are the first person who said they didn’t feel encouraged or have fun at the lunch, that’s a bummer. Our board chairman really tried to set the tone in the beginning by making light and just laying down a feeling of fun. Your comment on the shameless plug is hard for me to shake though, because I can’t remember us pimping project311. I tried to not say anything about it except the fact that our whole purpose for the lunch was to encourage and bless some youth workers. And actually at one point when we were giving away all the give aways, I made a comment about me speaking somewhere and my board chairman humbled me pretty good. So, I am really struggling on remembering the shameless plugs. Unless you are refering to our sponsor who put up big bucks for the lunch. And, hopefully I am not coming across the wrong way, it’s just that this “meeting” took countless hours of personally building relationships with metro area youth workers, raising the money for the give aways and getting some of the companies to give us the books and stuff to give away. So, I would love your thoughts on how we can make it seem more small and make sure more people are really connecting with each other. Again, I really appreciate your thoughts, you coming, your gift from ymx and your honesty.

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  5. adam Avatar
    adam

    Some thoughts as a week has past since that post and the meeting itself. I think 99% of my post is simply that I was put in a room with 90 type A personalities. I always shrink in that situation, it’s just who I am.

    – What I wrote is what was what I was feeling. Small and stupid. I didn’t feel like I wasted my time, but I didn’t feel encouraged. Other than the 2 people I sat near… I didn’t get to talk to anyone as everyone was pairing up with people they already know.
    – Am I negative about project 311 or the meeting? Not at all. It just wasn’t what I hoped it would be. It was too programed IMO for anything to happen.
    – The presentation thing… hey man, don’t sweat it. It is what it is. You worked hard and put the thing on, it wasn’t “for me” and that’s cool. It doesn’t mean you did a bad job.
    – The patting of the backs. That’s the name of the business isn’t it? I patronize you and you patronize me and you patronize the people who help you. I get it completely. Some people find that encouraging and I don’t. Not angry about it or anything. Just bummed out.
    – I already told you how annoying it was to sit by the “macomb network person” and listen to his remarks. It was a lie. There isn’t a network, or at least one I’m allowed to come to. The guy sat at my table and didn’t even acknowledge I existed… as if we didn’t meet 10 times before! Would you be encouraged by that?

    I look at this as the beginning of the process. The old habit that has to be broken is that if you are at a big church that you are a genius and if you are at a small church you are just pond scum and should be happy that the big church people will even acknowledge your existence… maybe they’ll “help me.” The new habit is getting people to see that no matter where you work, no matter the size of your deal, no matter how worldly successful you are that YOU MATTER. We both know that the size of anything we have or do isn’t the result of the amount of skill or personality or pizazz or hard work we put into it… it’s a God thing. To take credit for a God thing is, to me, idolatry. I am just as proud of the work that I do in Romeo that people at 242 should be or wherever. See what I’m getting at?

    Sorry if you felt this post is anyway directed at you or anything you did. It’s just what I was thinking and feeling afterwards.

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  6. Dave Avatar
    Dave

    Is this really the majority opinion? I must travel in strange circles but the YP’s that I hang with just don’t have this kinda ‘tude:
    “The old habit that has to be broken is that if you are at a big church that you are a genius and if you are at a small church you are just pond scum and should be happy that the big church people will even acknowledge your existence.”

    Reply

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