Buy N Large Privacy Policy

I saw this over on the MailChimp blog, check out this privacy policy. (The legalese on most company websites)

By visiting the Buy n Large website you become a registered member of the Buy n Large Database. You may not unsubscribe to this database at any time.

Buy n Large will share your personal information with third parties whenever it deems such sharing to be advantageous to it, including when you engage in certain activities on our site such as using a menu, viewing, clicking your mouse or breathing.

By visiting Buy n Large you are contractually obligated to read all email that is sent to you via the Buy n Large servers. Failure to do so will be considered a breach of contract.

The best part is that this fictional privacy policy, created for the movie Wall-E, is pretty close to what really happens. While you can always delete an account or take yourself off of an email list, you can never cover your tracks and say you didn’t visit a website. Some people think that if they use a proxy server they can go wherever they want an no one will know its them. Just keep believing that. 

The truth is that the courts have deemed it perfectly acceptable for websites to track you, learn about your browsing habits, and then use that information to market to you. And you just thought the ads on Facebook and Gmail were targeted to people like you? Nope. They are targeted specifically to you!